#emmawriteschoices

Jamie POV

No matter what happened, I would not lose my temper.

No matter what happened, I would stay calm and I would not lose my temper.

Standing in the Bottom Three was infuriating, but what was even more infuriating was the fact that Bianca was here for the third time when she absolutely did not deserve it, especially considering that dumbass Zeke and Ivy’s fake ass were still around.

The fact that no one else but me, Bianca, and Mackenzie (and maybe Adam, I wasn’t entirely sure) could see through that thin veneer of poisoned sugar caked over every atom of Ivy’s whole body was just...wild.

I pitied Derek, honestly, to have to be so close to her all the time just to step his game up and keep the producers off his back, while she kept trying to seduce him even in private when anyone and everyone on set knew that Derek and Adam couldn’t keep their hands, much less their eyes off of each other, and even with Derek constantly reminding Ivy that ‘our showmance is just for the cameras’ and Ivy constantly pouting about it with crocodile tears and blatantly ignoring him, Derek still couldn’t seem to understand that she was Big Bad News in capital letters.

Carson finally got the signal from the camera crew and turned to us, a forced grin on his face. “Before we announce the results of the vote, let’s go over the rules of the evening.”

“Oh for god’s sake...” I muttered, reaching out and twining my fingers with Bianca’s.

Carson took a breath. “Tonight, instead of one person being eliminated, there will be two! Tonight marks our first Double Elimination in Season 10, everyone, which means that since this is a special night, all of the contestants not up for elimination are available to vote, and the two with the most votes will be eliminated.”

I adored Carson, I did, but if he said a version of ‘eliminate’ one more time I might scream.

Carson continued, “In the event there is any form of a tie, a special tiebreaker will decide who leaves and who stays.”

Bianca cursed softly under her breath and tightened her grip on me, and all I could think was that if Bianca left then I’d be leaving with her to go to the Jury house and cheer Mack on from there with her. 

After making eye contact with each of us, Carson finally reached for the envelope, opened it, and blinked twice.

After a short, tense pause he lifted sad puppy dog eyes to face us.

“Bianca, Jamie, you have been deemed...ineligible.” He said softly.

Bianca’s hand trembled in mine and I tried to keep myself from screaming. Instead, I made myself say cooly, “Thank you, Carson.”

He nodded at the others. “Please say your goodbyes.”

Mack rushed forward and wrapped her arms around Bianca, letting Bianca hide her teary face, and after one reassuring squeeze of her hand, I let go to pay my respects.

I turned to Zeke first, taking the attention of the cameras off of Bianca and Mack as I stepped right up into his face and smiled my Evil Queen smile. “Your girlfriend is gonna dump you on your ass so hard when she finds out you’ve been lying to her and cheating n her all this time, and you’re gonna deserve it. Buh-bye.”

I spun away from him, ignoring his enraged babbling, and locked onto Adam. “You play the game well. Do your thing, Adam.”

He winked good-naturedly at me.

I looked Derek up and down, making sure to spend extra time on where he and Ivy were holding hands. When I finally met his eyes, I dragged my gaze deliberately back over to Adam, before tutting, “Oh...honey...good luck, boo.”

I ignored Ivy and let Mack and Bianca pull me close.

Mack whispered, “I might actually kill somebody now.”

Bianca chuckled and I hummed, “Careful, you better win this or we’re gonna top you for a week.”

Bianca finally laughed and Mack just rolled her eyes before kissing each of us, softly, sweetly. “You guys gonna pull for me at the Jury House?”

Biance and I looked at each other and smiled. “Like you wouldn’t believe.”

Finally, we let go of Mack and she stepped back. I linked arms with Bianca and started to turn to walk towards the Confessionals one last time.

“Wait!” Ivy yelled.

Wary, I turned and found Ivy with those damned crocodile tears pouring down her pageant queen face. “Aren’t either of you going to say goodbye to me?”

I looked over at Bianca and raised my eyebrows. She smirked, shook her head, and said, “I think you’ve got this one baby.”

I tossed my hair back over my shoulder and met Ivy full on.

Slowly, as if I was speaking to a particularly dumb child, I asked, “What in the world could we possibly have to say to you, the biggest two faced bitch anyone in this house has ever had the displeasure of meeting?”

Jake POV

Michelle prodded gently at my chest, frowning darkly at me when I tried to stifle a wince. “Don’t be an idiot, Jacob,” she chastised, “I need to know where it hurts and how much.”

As always, her words were clipped but her tone was soft. Michelle did that, I’d noticed, hid how deeply she cared about us all by acting like she couldn’t care less. 

I grinned at her, sighing in resignation. “Yes, ma’am.”

She rolled her eyes, and as she started wrapping my chest she smiled outright and wasn’t that something. I’d also noticed she’d been better about that closed off Ice Queen bit now that we were, mostly, all back together. More open, less guarded, letting herself smile more and not as reluctant to hug us, worry about us. Especially when it concerned Quinn. The two of them had hardly left a radius of five feet of the other, always in arms reach.

We’d all had been like that lately, from the moment we’d all found each other again. We walked closer together, we moved with one another, leaning into one another.

As awful as it was, I couldn’t help the thought that it was too similar to the way Mike and I had acted around each other.

My gaze drifted around the main deck of the Dorado, where Yvonne and Malatesta were still arguing over their loot, where Estela was talking to Raj and Varyyn with tension radiating out of every facet of her body, where Ken and Sean were holding hands and talking to Quinn, brows furrowed as they worried over her, where Craig was still holding Diego against his chest, the two of them talking softly to one another, their hands white-knuckled on each other’s clothes the only clue as to how relieved they were to be together again.

Michelle followed my gaze, a small smile breaking out on her face. “They’re good together.”

I nodded, adjusting my sitting position on the deck of the Dorado. “We’re all pretty good together, Dollface.”

She glanced back at me, eyebrow raised. “That’s a new one.”

“Well,” I tried to smile, “Maybelline wasn’t worthy of ya.”

She bit her lip, a pleased blush gracing her face.

I felt my gaze, as if magnetically pulled, find the spot where, just moments before, I had been pinning Mike down. Chest heaving, hands shaking, hot terror and desperation creeping up my spine, tears threatening more and more the longer I looked at him.

His blank face, his absent eyes, that unconcerned, uncaring demeanor that wasn’t Mike, couldn’t have been but it was.

I didn’t care about the robotic eye, the scars, the way the back of his head had felt puckered like it had been punctured when I’d cupped his head in my hands, fingers tangling in the all to familiar dark silk of his hair as I’d begged him to please, please God, just remember.

Remember anything, anything at all, just one fleeting moment of who he used to be, who I used to be, who we used to be together, to remember my own fucking name, or his for that matter, I didn’t care I just wanted him back.

I’d wanted it now more than I ever had when I thought him dead, and in so many ways it was worse now. Mike was so close, within reach, and he didn’t know me

He didn’t care about me.

He didn’t love me.

I didn’t realize I was crying until Michelle, finished wrapping my chest, wrapped her hand around mine and squeezed.

“You’re here, Jake,” She said calmly, slowly, “And so are we. You’re safe.”

“But he’s not,” I gasped. 

Her face fell, and she looked over her shoulder, as we all did when one or any or all of us were hurting, to Ken.

Ken was already on his way over, face drawn in tight, his shoulders drooping heavily.

I couldn’t help but notice that he looked a little thinner than the last time I’d seen him, a little of the college kid glow had faded from him, replaced with the world-weary air of someone who had the fate of everything on their shoulders. Which, as I thought about it, my stomach dropping out, he did.

We depended on Ken for everything. It’s why we’d gone to look for him first.

Without Ken to keep us together, we’d fall apart.

Ken knelt down next to me and Michelle, all the others save Varyyn, Malatesta, and Yvonne joining us.

Ken reached out, cupping my face in both hands, sweeping his thumbs across my cheeks to wipe away my tears.

I let myself exhale in a rush, my eyes closing in relief, my entire body sagging.

Ken whispered softly, “You ok?”

“No,” I croaked, my hands curling into fists against the deck. “I’m not ok, Boy Scout.”

Ken traced my cheeks with his thumbs in slow, reassuring, gentle circles, humming, “We’re here, Jake. Talk to us.”

His hands left my face and I opened my eyes, finding a semi-familiar sight. They were all sitting around me, leaning into one another, crowded close even in the heat, eyes worried.

Close as we all were, it was easy to pick out those who were missing. Grace, Zahra...

Aleister.

I looked up at the sky and cleared my throat, leaning back against the rail of the deck, letting the salty air clear my head a little.

I cleared my throat again, trying to figure out where to start.

“Thing is,” I found myself saying, “I never thought it’d be me.”

I tried to smile at them all, but it didn’t take. “I mean, Mike was always just...better. Stronger, tougher, faster, smarter. I’d never dreamed that I’d end up being the one who lived.”

I winced as my ribs ached, protesting the pounding of my heart, the hot guilt weighing down my heart. “I mean, who can stand to think about the guy they love dying.”

Sean immediately froze, eyes locking onto Ken, that stark, haunted pain exactly the same as what I’d seen in the helicopter the moment Ken had fallen. 

Then he looked over at me, and something in Sean’s gaze shifted.

In a soft voice, he said, “I think we can all understand that.”

I looked around the group to find them all with that same stricken expression, Craig’s hands having dipped down to curl around Diego’s while Diego swallowed hard and interlaced their fingers, Michelle tucking herself in closer to Quinn when Quinn made a soft noise of distress, that desperate look coming back into Estela’s eyes.

I swallowed, hard. “I was in love with him. We’d only been together, official like, for a few months.”

Breathing was harder now. My vision was starting to blur. I tried to laugh, “I was such an idiot...I’d been in love with him since I met him. We’d lived together since basic, and every day I loved him more, and every day it got harder to tell him. But I was afraid, you know? He was so incredible. Beautiful, capable, and so fucking smart. Why would he want me?”

I shook my head, the words spilling out unchecked. “But he did. Had to do it himself, I was too afraid to ruin the best thing in my life. One day, we were sitting at home, and all of a sudden, he just got up, walked over, and kissed me.”

I tried to laugh again, but it came out choked and dark. “He said he’d let me stew long enough. He wasn’t about to let us die before we...before we...before..”

I couldn’t continue, my throat closing around the words. My hands were shaking.

My whole body was shaking. 

A cool hand alighted on my forehead, thumb brushing my hair away from my face. “Easy now,” Estela’s voice soothed, “We’re here. Deep breaths.”

Two hands began to rub circles on my back as I fell forward into Estela’s shoulder, curling around her.

I didn’t know how long we were there, Estela slowly helping me through the grief that was rotting me from the inside out.

I was barely aware of the way I had sobbed out at some unidentifiable point, “I still love him, I can’t help it.”

Ken had murmured back, “We know, Jake.”

Later, when the sun had slipped closer to the horizon, I finally leaned back.

Estela was still staring at me, her own eyes rimmed in red. 

We’d been through so much together, just in the last week alone. They were all incredibly important to me, almost more than anyone or anything ever had been to me before.

So it was easy to take Estela’s hands in mine and say, just loud enough for everyone to hear, “We’ll get her back.”

Her eyes welled up with new tears, her fingers curling tightly around mine.

“We will find Zahra,” I promised, “She’ll be ok. So will Grace.”

I paused, then threw caution to the wind. “So will Aleister.”

And everyone else stared at me.

Part of me expected Estela to tear away from me, her face to contort into a hateful grimace and for her to spit something threatening about him.

But she didn’t.

Instead, a tear slipped down her cheek and she whispered, “He betrayed us. He doesn’t...he won’t.”

Ken leaned forward, sliding a hand onto Estela’s shoulder, squeezing as he said, determination strengthening his voice, “He still loves us, Estela, and he knows that we still love him. He’ll come home.”

Craig nodded in agreement, ever the source of strength. “We’ll bring him home, Estela. We’ll bring them all home.”

Softly, hands brushed over everyone’s arms, quiet words of support were exchanged, every one of us reaching out to comfort the others.

It was what you did for family. You gave them whatever they needed.

And these people were my family. I loved them so much, I would do anything, absolutely anything for them. Same as what Aleister did.

So I swallowed the ocean of heartbreak in my chest, the longing and despair and the gut-wrenching regret of everything I never told Mike, everything I should have but didn’t, all the times I hadn’t let myself hold him just a little longer, just a little tighter, all the times I hadn’t kissed him just one more time.

I swallowed it all and said, “I’m gonna do whatever it takes to make sure that happens. Even if it means going up against Mike.”

My voice broke on his name, my heart skipping a beat.

All around the circle, eyes widened, hands stilled.

I finished, softly, “I’ll do whatever it takes to stop him if he tries to hurt any of you.”

I could hear it in my voice, that lack of conviction, the pain of what that promise cost me.

It was silent but for the waves and the distant sound of Malatesta and Yvonne bickering.

Then, “No.”

I looked up at Ken, who had spoken.

His expression was softer than I could stand as he stared at me, his hazel eyes shining from the sun. “Jake, it’s ok. You won’t hurt him. And we understand. He’s still Mike.”

I shook my head, trying to maintain my ground. “No, seriously, I-”

“Jake,” Quinn rebuked gently, and I fell silent.

I dropped my eyes to the deck, but Ken sighed and lifted a hand to turn my face back to him.

He smiled at me, “We all do what we have to when it comes to the people we love. That doesn’t exclude Mike. Or you.”

Raj hummed in agreement, “We got your back, Jake. No matter what.”

I closed my eyes again, unable to stand the way they were looking at me. I hadn’t had anybody treat me like that for so long. I wasn’t used to people caring about me like this, it hurt too much when they left.

But I knew, even without looking at any of them, that they weren’t about to leave me, or each other. No matter what happened when or if we survived this mess, we were in it all together. 

I smiled, keeping my eyes closed. “Just...thanks. For everything.”

Sean POV

“Ok, seriously,” Ken pressed as he lounged elegantly on one of the armchairs with a glass of champagne, “What is it with all of you always offering me clothes.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “You don’t think we have good taste?”

Ken cut his eyes towards me. “I never said that, in fact, the exact opposite, I mean,” Ken motioned towards the gorgeous suit he was wearing, “Exhibit A here.”

I grinned, pleased, letting my gaze drag down the long, lean lines of his body, the way he sat like James Bond in a casino in Monte Carlo, with the sounds of our friends laughing and celebrating and drinking around us.

I jerked back to the present when Raj plopped down beside me. “What are we talking about?”

I took a sip of my champagne. “Ken’s curious why everyone’s always trying to dress him.”

Craig, on the other couch with his arm behind Diego on the edge of the couch, snorted, “Isn’t it obvious? He’s like a Ken doll, y’know?”

Craig’s eyes flew wide and his mouth dropped open. “Holy shit, oh my god, wait, he’s a Ken doll!”

Raj was in a similar state of shock, practically shrieking, “Oh my god, a literal, live Ken doll!”

Ken rolled his eyes, “Oh my god.”

Craig laughed, tilting his head back, yelling, “Illuminati confirmed! Ken is Illuminati!”

Raj doubled over, laughing, Diego chuckling at the delight Raj and Craig had found in this new discovery.

I looked over at Ken, grinning. “You hear that? Apparently, you’re part of the Illuminati.”

Ken pursed his lips and said dryly, “I’m already part of one giant conspiracy, I don’t have time for another.”

Raj’s watch started beeping, and he looked down at it in confusion, before dawning realization broke out on his face and he bolted upright. “Dudes, dudettes, it’s time!”

Craig cursed and put his drink down, also standing.

Diego frowned, his expression dangerously close to a pout. “Time for what?”

Raj, over by the door, beamed at us as a group. “The surprise, doodlejumps! Craig and I planned this whole thing, now come on, let’s go!”

An elevator ride and a few fairy light plug-ins later, all fourteen of us were standing on the roof, watching Craig and Raj’s excitement with fond interest.

Estela, her glittering silver gown catching the fairy lights beautifully, stooped a little near the edge of the roof and pointed to where there were about twelve flares lined up and pointed at the sky. “Craig, Raj, what’s this?”

Raj clapped. “That’s the surprise! Fireworks, for New Years!”

He turned to Varyyn, explaining, “That’s a very important part of the New Years celebration back home, fireworks that go off directly at midnight.”

Craig nodded, pleased with himself. “Raj and I wanted to surprise all of you.”

Silence.

Grace cleared her throat delicately. “With, um, road flares?”

Craig nodded, confusion on his face. “Yeah!”

Estela straightened up, walking back over to the rest of us. “Craig. Raj. Right now, we’re hiding out from a death squad of highly trained, extremely well equipped mechanized mercenaries.”

Realization dawned on their faces.

Estela finished, not unkindly, “And your idea is to fire off multiple flares over our location?”

Again, silence.

Craig grumbled, “Well, when you put it like that...”

Diego reached out and ran a hand down Craig’s arm, soothing, “It was a sweet idea, at least.”

Raj, staring down at his feet, mumbled softly, “Yeah, well, let’s just...”

Zahra pointed up, face awestruck. “What the hell is that?”

In the distance, the mountain range is lighting up in shimmering, vivid colors, pulsing between a warm red and a brilliant blue.

The colors stretched far and wide across the sky above us, mixing together and breaking apart.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. “What is that?”

Varyyn responded, voice soft, “The Lights of Vaanu.”

Ken called out, “Jake, haven’t we seen these before?”

I looked over at him, frowning.

Ken was staring at the sky, eyebrows drawn together. “In the air control tower just after we landed?”

Jake nodded slowly. “Yeah, just like this.”

Varyyn smiled up at the sky, studying the play of colors. “My people believe that they are a sign of good fortune to come.”

Michelle hummed. “Well, we could sure use any luck we can get.”

Grace, eyes bright with curiosity, turned to Aleister, excitement in her voice as she said, “I think it’s the Doppler Effect!”

Aleister’s eyes widened as he looked down at Grace, and he smiled, looking somewhat dumbfounded. “You’re absolutely brilliant, you know that?”

Grace blushed, curling into Aleister’s chest for a moment before turning back to the rest of us and explaining, “When something, like a distant star, moves really fast toward you, it tints blue from the change in the light’s wavelength. And when something moves really fast away from you, it tints red.”

Aleister nodded in agreement. “So this could be both happening at the same time. Not the physical space of the island itself, but the way time is dilating or contracting on the island!”

He laughed a little, shaking his head. “Absolutely incredible.”

Grace tucked her hand in his elbow and smiled up at him. “It is.”

He flushed a deep crimson.

Jake coughed over his chuckle, and said, “Well I don’t know about y’all but I’m gonna stick with Blues Clues over here. I want that good luck.”

Raj clapped a hand on Jake’s shoulder, beaming once more. “Well, it’s not exactly fireworks but it’s close enough for me.”

Raj checked his watch. “Twelve seconds to midnight, let’s count it down!”

As a group, we chanted, “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, Happy New Year!”

I turned towards Ken to find him already walking towards me. He smiled at me, looking like a goddamn dream on the rooftop in that silk suit with the fairy lights giving his skin an amber sheen, his hazel eyes warm and inviting.

I reached for him and picked him up easily, enjoying the way he gasped in surprise, reflexively wrapping his legs around my waist.

I ignored the spike of hot arousal sparked by the action, grinning at Ken, whose face was now level with mine, and said softly to him, “Happy New Year, Ken.”

Ken whispered back to me, “Happy New Year, Sean.”

Under the light above us and around us, the sound of laughter and celebration, everything fell away the moment our lips met, his mouth soft and plush and perfect against mine, the kiss deep but brief. 

I pulled away from him and smiled against his lips.

Ken murmured, “Don’t look now, but everyone else is still making out.”

I glanced over his shoulder and saw that yes, indeed, most of them were.

While Raj, Lila, and Jake were trying to hold in their obvious delight at the other couples still kissing, and Varyyn was looking on in confusion, Grace had hooked a hand in Aleister’s collar and had dragged his head down to plant one hell of a kiss on him.

Craig was cupping Diego’s face in his hands, kissing him with the fervor of someone who thought they might not get a second chance, Diego’s hands hidden beneath Craig’s letterman jacket.

Estela had one hand on Zahra’s face, tilting her face back to kiss her deeply, slowly, and Estela’s other hand was tucked under Zahra’s shirt, while Zahra’s hands clutched at Estela’s bare back.

Quinn’s arms were around Michelle’s neck, reaching up to tangle in her hair, as the two of them kissed softly, Quinn smiling against Michelle’s lips, causing Michelle to chuckle and pull Quinn closer to her, Michelle’s hands running up and down the satin blue of Quinn’s gown.

Varyyn said softly, “Is this another tradition of yours? Kissing at midnight?”

Jake grinned, answering, “Yeah, but it doesn’t have to be a full-on making out session like these dorks here are doing.”

Zahra lifted one hand to flip Jake off, and he laughed.

Varyyn tilted his head. “Ok. I think I understand.”

Jake looked over at Varyyn, a sly smile creeping across his face. “Don’t feel left out, Boy King.”

And with that, Jake walked over, pulled Varyyn’s head down, and kissed him.

Ken muffled a surprised laugh into my shoulder, and Raj and Lila laughed in outright surprise, Raj cheering loudly, “THOSE ARE MY FRIENDS ALL GETTING SOME!”

We were up on the rooftop for about another half hour, making rounds and kissing each other’s cheeks and hugging one another tightly.

We’d been through so much in the last forty-eight hours alone, and to have a moment of peace like this was just...

Perfect.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ken walking up to me, and I turned to greet him, the smile on my face slowly disappearing when I saw the look on his face.

When he was close to me, he took my hand, tugging gently. “Come on, let’s go.”

I pushed down on the flurry of panic in my gut. “Is something wrong?”

Ken looked up at me, grinning. “Yes. There is.” He stood up on his toes to whisper in my ear, “You and I are not naked.”

I shivered. “Oh. Yeah. Ok.”

Ken leaned away from me, tugging on my hand again, his eyes dark and promising, and I tried to keep my libido under control, failing miserably at the filthy thoughts running through my head.

He led me away from the others quietly, and once we were in the elevator, out of sight, he pushed me into a corner and pressed himself up against me.

I groaned, wrapping my arms around him and lowering my head to tell him, “You’re killing me here, baby.”

Ken inhaled sharply, turning his head to kiss my cheek softly. “I love it when you call me that.”

I grinned, ducking my head to mouth at his neck, grazing my teeth across the skin.

He stood there for a moment, murmuring nothings, until he abruptly pulled away, dragging me by the hand out of the elevator.

I sighed, “You really know how to cut somebody off.”

Ken looked back over his shoulder, eyes glittering, as he led me down the hotel hallway. “What I wanna do with you won’t fit in an elevator.”

I groaned loudly, and he laughed.

Trying to keep my head on, I asked him, “Where are we going?”

“Diego said he found this really great room today while he was exploring, and he suggested I take advantage of it,” Ken answered.

I thought about the way Craig had been watching Diego recently. “You’d think he’d want to take advantage of it himself.”

Ken laughed. “Who says he’s not? He never said this room was one of a kind.”

He stopped in front of the door at the end of the hall, reaching into his pocket and pulling out one of the master keys Zahra had made, unlocking the door.

He turned around and pulled me inside. 

It really was a gorgeous hotel room, a four-poster bed with thick velvet curtains and plush bedding rested on top of a thick faux fur rug, while a blazing fireplace roared on the wall.

It was cozy and perfect.

But I only had eyes for Ken. 

I pulled him into my arms, swaying slightly to music we couldn’t hear.

He chuckled against my shoulder.

We stayed like that for a bit, silent but for what we said with our hands.

“Why is it,” I whispered against his temple, “that I feel so comfortable with you, without even saying a word?”

Ken laughed, sighing teasingly, “Maybe because I’m just so amazing.”

I reached up, tracing his cheek with the tips of my fingers. “Only you could say something like that and still be selling yourself short.”

Ken scoffed, blushing beautifully. “Oh please. You’re the amazing one here.”

I tried to protest, but Ken shushed me.

“No, really,” He said, “This time next year I’ll be out looking for a job, and you’re gonna be on TV every Sunday.”

He studied me carefully, the soft look in his eyes nearly more than I could stand.

He reached up, sliding his hands into my hair. He smiled sweetly at me, murmuring, “When the whole country gets to know you the way I do, they’re gonna fall in love with you.”

I felt my stomach erupt into butterflies, my heart beating faster in my chest. I wanted so badly to tell him, then and there, in the warm glow of the fire, when he was so soft and welcoming in my arms, I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, had loved him since practically the moment we met.

But for some reason, I didn’t.

I cupped his face in my hands, adoring the way he leaned into me, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment.

I whispered to him, “You’re the only one I want to know me that way, Ken.”

His answering smile was brilliant.

I leaned down, kissing him, letting it grow deeper by the second, licking into his mouth, stepping in a little closer to him, the air around us growing charged.

I wrapped my hands around Ken’s waist and leaned down to drag my nose along the edge of his jaw, smiling when I heard the small intake of breath. I pressed my mouth to the hollow beneath his ear and laved my tongue over it, relishing the shiver that went through his whole body as I did so.

I whispered, “You know that promise I made a few days ago in Elyys’tel?”

Ken shivered again. “Yes.”

I pulled away, locking eyes with him, his hazel gaze molten, his pupils dilated. I smiled, slow and dirty at him, my heart beginning to pound as arousal built in my stomach.

With urgency in my hands, I tugged his clothes off, letting them fall to the floor, kissing him through it.

When I moved to kiss down his chest, he pushed gently at my shoulders.

I froze, backing up in worried confusion. “I’m sorry, I should have-”

“Wait, hey, come back, look at me,” Ken purred, sliding one of his hands up to cup my face, making me look at him. He smiled gently at me. “Sean, I’m not saying stop or no, I just...”

He paused, biting his lower lip.

I stood there, rubbing circles on his bare back with my thumbs, letting him come around to it in his own way.

He took a deep breath. “Two things. First, Sean, you’re always taking care of me.”

He leaned forward, kissing my skin exposed by my open collar, and I tried not to gasp at the wet heat of his tongue.

He whispered against my collarbone, “Let me take care of you.”

He pushed me, gently, over towards the bed, and then pushed at my shoulders until I sat on the bed. 

I smiled at him. “Ken, really, you don’t have to-”

He shushed me, “Sean.”

God his eyes were gorgeous.

He knelt down, spreading my legs apart, and my breath caught in my throat, my heart beating faster.

Ken reached for my belt buckle, letting his knuckles graze over where my erection was tenting my pants, and he whispered over my gasp, “Let me take care of you.”

He unbuckled my belt, unzipped my pants, the sounds loud in my ears alongside the draining of blood from my head to my lower body, and I practically ached with want.

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him, my heart pounding.

He leaned down, running his mouth along the ridge in my boxer briefs and my eyes closed, breath hissing out through my teeth.

Ken pulled my underwear down, and inhaled sharply when my dick sprang free.

He licked his lips, and I groaned at the sight.

He cocked an eyebrow at me, smiling for a moment, before settling his arms on my thighs, leaning in close, his breath hot on my already overheated skin, his piano fingers wrapping around my length, and as my heart jumped into overdrive he swallowed me down.

I was barely aware of the soft, emphatic, “Ohhhh, wow, baby,” that escaped me, I wasn’t aware of the bedding I was crushing in my fingers or the way my head had fallen back, I was only aware of how fucking perfect his mouth felt on me.

Wet, hot suction sliding up and down, a tongue tracing the underside, running teasingly along the glans, before pulling off with a soft pop, making me shudder before that mouth dipped down to work at the base.

I groaned, louder.

Suddenly, Ken gasped sharply.

My eyes flew open, and I saw my hands had found their way into his hair, gripping just a little too tightly. 

I felt blinded by lust for a moment, staring at Ken’s spit-slicked lips, kneeling between my thighs, his eyes wide with arousal, his hands still sliding across my skin, jerking me off, slow and steady.

I leaned down, pulling him into a desperate, hungry kiss.

He gave as good as he got, careful not to pull too hard, his mouth eager as he pushed closer into me. 

I lifted him up, standing and shuddering when his bare skin rubbed against me. 

Ken tugged viciously at my clothes until the buttons on my dress shirt popped off. 

I laughed, shrugging off the fabric and stepping out of my pants and boxer briefs, reaching out to pull Ken flush against me.

He instinctively rolled his hips against mine and I groaned, letting my head fall onto his shoulder, pressing back against him.

“Bed,” Ken gasped.

“Ok,” I answered, sweeping him up and laying him down on the bed.

I stood there, just staring at him for a moment, with what was surely an expression of dumbfounded adoration. He looked like everything I’d ever dreamed of, his hair mussed, lips swollen, his dick thick against his thigh, eyes dark and wanton.

I closed my eyes for a brief moment, trying to control myself, before I followed him onto the bed, running my hands along his sides, pressing soft kisses up his chest.

Then, faintly, I heard Ken huff.

I looked up at him, finding him frowning at me.

“What?” I asked.

Ken reached out, sliding his hand into my hair. “Sean, that second thing I was talking about?”

I nodded.

Ken’s eyes glittered in the firelight. “I don’t want you to hold back with me. Don’t get me wrong, I love how gentle you are with me, how caring, but sometimes, I just want to really feel it.”

I closed my eyes, swallowing hard. “I just...I’m afraid of hurting you.”

Ken hummed, “And that’s fine. I’m not saying I want you to like, beat me up or anything because, just to be clear, I do not want that.”

He tilted my face up to look at him, to see how serious he was as he said, “What I do want, sometimes...sometimes I want it to hurt a little. I wanna feel like you’re taking me apart, in all the best ways, without being afraid that you’ll break me.”

Ken dragged me upwards, guiding me into a soft, chaste kiss. “I wanna put that trust and faith in you, and for you to have the trust and faith that I can take it.”

He leaned back against the pillows, continuing, “I don’t want you to feel like you have to hold back.”

I shuddered against him.

Then, just to make sure, I asked, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Ken breathed, “I’m sure.”

So I complied.

I let my fingers dig into his sides a little more, dragging my mouth down his chest, my teeth grazing his dark tawny skin.

Ken moaned when I got down to his hips, sucking hard on his skin, moving my mouth down to his dick, holding his hips down with my hands, sliding my tongue up and down his length.

He positively keened, thrashing a little against the sheets, his hips staying perfectly still in my grip as I teased him, little soft sucking motions here and there, dragging my tongue along the shaft in long laborious strokes.

I sat up, letting go of him to say through my quick breathing, “Lube. Condom.”

Ken smiled, panting, “Bedside table.”

I frowned at him but reached over to inspect the table, pulling open the drawer. 

Sure enough, a tube of lubricant and a couple condoms were waiting there. I grinned, picking up the lube and one of the condoms.

“Diego?” I asked.

“That’s my secret to keep.” Ken smiled, spreading his thighs wide.

I settled in between his legs, spilling a generous amount of lube on my fingers before reaching down.

Ken’s eyes rolled back in his head as I worked in slow, careful circles, opening him up slowly. I stared at him, his chest heaving, his head thrashing on his pillow, his hands twisting the bedclothes beneath him. When I would press against a spot inside him with my fingers, he would gasp wildly, trying to roll his hips up into my touch, my hand pinning him to the bed.

Finally, he gasped, “I’m good, Sean, I’m ready, please, please, God I’m begging you.”

I kissed his hip, soothing, “Just a second, baby, ok, I promise.”

I opened the condom packet, when Ken’s hands closed around mine.

He looked up at me from underneath his eyelashes. “I got this.”

He reached down, rolling the condom down my erection with extreme care.

I closed my eyes, running my hands up and down Ken’s arms, my breath hissing through my teeth at the incredible pressure he was giving me.

Ken leaned up, wrapping his arms around my neck, kissing me, slow, long, and filthy.

Following him down, I laid him carefully against the satin sheets.

I reached down, lined myself up, and pushed into him. 

Ken’s mouth dropped open, his hands slipping down to my shoulders, his nails biting into my skin.

I pushed forward until I was completely inside him, then waited there, shaking at the sensation. 

God, he was so beautiful, and he felt even better, the perfect silken stretch around me, hot and slick, tight around me.

Trying to keep my heart-rate down, I asked Ken, “You ok?”

He nodded, grinning. “Beyond belief. Don’t stop, Sean, please.”

“Tell me if that changes,” I said softly, and started to move.

I knew from the start neither of us were gonna last long from the start, but man that fact became crystal clear the moment I started rocking against Ken.

I switched between long, rough thrusts and grinding our hips together, helpless to do anything but continue, building in speed and intensity with each moment, desperate for us both to find release.

Ken’s fingernails dragged down my back every time I pushed all the way back inside, the edge of pain making my head spin in agonizing pleasure.

Panting, Ken cried out, “Sean, please, I’m close, I’m really close.”

I let loose, my hips slamming into him frantically, my own orgasm building, building, building.

Just when I thought I couldn’t stand it any longer, Ken started shaking beneath me, crying out wordlessly, his fingernails scratching down my back as he came, and I quickly followed, unable to do anything but hold him tight, my vision whiting out in ecstasy.

---

After shaking through the aftershocks and cleaning each other up a bit, we collapsed back down on the bed, exhausted.

Ken curled into my chest, stretching languorously like a cat. “God, that felt good.”

I pulled him in closer, his skin like velvet under my hands. “You liked it? I wasn’t too rough with you?”

Ken looked up at me, smiling sweetly. “Sean, how are you such a sweetheart when you literally have every reason to be the most arrogant person in the world?”

I felt myself flush. “C’mon, Ken.”

“No, seriously,” Ken insisted, sitting up and swinging his leg over my hips, settling himself on my waist. “Sean, you’re incredible. You’re so incredibly protective, you’re willing to sacrifice everything for every one of us, you’re so kind and strong and gorgeous, you can do absolutely anything you set your mind to.”

He reached down, cupping my face, his gaze, dare I say it, loving.

He whispered, “You’re incredible.”

I caught his hands, turning them so I could press a kiss to each of his palms. “You’re the incredible one.”

Ken sighed, slipping back down to the bed, curling into my side, his head on my shoulder. “Let’s continue to agree to disagree. Right now I just wanna sleep for a while.”

I smiled, turning onto my side, pulling him close. “Sounds good.”

He breathed, slow and deep. “Then, when I wake up, I’m gonna give you a blowjob that’s gonna melt your brain.”

I swallowed, hard. “Uh, wow, yeah. Sounds, uh, good.”

Ken POV

Finally, as the sun was going down over the falls and all of us had settled around the fire, most of us sitting while Sean fed the fire some more wood, the mood turned a little wistful.

“Well,” Craig asked, pulling Diego closer into his chest fro where Diego was sitting between Craig’s knees, “Where would you rather be on vacation?”

Aleister, sitting a little closer to the fire with Grace tucked under his arm and two blankets, raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow. “You can’t seriously be asking that question.”

Michelle cut her eyes towards Aleister. “I think it’s perfectly reasonable.”

Quinn, sitting across Michelle’s lap with her head on Michelle’s shoulder, questioned, “What question would you have had him ask?”

Grace, holding her hands out to warm from the fire, grinned, “Don’t let him bother you, he’s got incurable pessimism.”

Aleister sqwacked in protest, and the rest of us laughed.

Sean, finished with the firewood, dusted his hands off, and as he walked back over to where I was, he joked, “Aleister could objectively be the happiest man on earth and yet he’d still find something to nitpick.”

Aleister turned his nose up in the air, the corners of his mouth turning up in a pleased smile. “There’s nothing wrong with being practical.”

As the others teased him some more, Sean dropped down behind me, mirroring Craig and Diego’s position, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to him, tucking my head under his chin.

I overlaid my arms on his and interlaced our fingers, smiling.

I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and had to stifle a laugh when I saw Raj and Jake playing hot hands with Varyyn.

I nudge Sean and pointed quietly over to where they sat, and after he turned to look, I felt his chest rumble in amusement.

I closed my eyes just for a second, feeling warm and safe and, in that one moment, not at all worried about the impending incursion into the MASADA facility.

Zahra caught my attention when she raised the hand that wasn’t holding onto Estela’s, calling out, “Ok, ok, we get it, you’re a perfectionist, but I, for one, kinda want to know the answer to Craig’s question.”

Diego, buried in Craig’s letterman jacket as well as the jacket’s owner, grinned. “Hartfeld.”

Estela wrinkled her nose. “You’d rather be in Hartfeld for the summer?”

“Rather than sleeping in a tent on a cliff in a snowstorm?” Diego pointed out. “Uh, yeah.”

Craig clicked his tongue. “No, no come on. Where would you have rather gone on vacation? I mean, when I found out that I was coming here I was pretty excited, don’t get me wrong, but I also kinda thought I’d rather be going to Australia.”

Michelle shivered in disgust. “Only you would want to voluntarily go to a continent with spiders who can eat birds.”

Craig laughed.

Diego thought for a moment, then shrugged easily. “I wanna change my answer. I’d rather be in Amsterdam.”

Criag looked down at him. “Really?”

“Oh yeah,” Diego nodded, a sly grin on his face. “I’ve always had a thing for windmills.”

Quinn frowned in concentration. “I think...Paris. Or London. Or Hong Kong. Or Shanghai.”

Michelle shook her head, smiling softly. “You have to pick one, Quinn.”

Quinn frowned harder. “Come back to me later, then,” and then she looked up at Michelle, asking, “What about you?”

Michelle answered immediately, “Bruges, in Belgium.”

Sean hummed. “Right, you were always looking at pictures of that city. It’s gorgeous.”

Michelle sighed wistfully, eyes slightly glazed. “So much gorgeous architecture...”

“Well, me personally,” Zahra said, scooting in closer to Estela, “I’ve always wanted to go to Rio.”

Estela blinked, surprised. “Really? You want to go to Rio?”

Zahra rolled her eyes. “I can like semi-mainstream things!”

Jake, over on the other side of the fire and therefore out of Zahra’s range of attack, snorted. “Says the girl who’s practically got ‘I liked them before they were cool’ tattooed on her forehead.”

As the rest of us laughed or protested on Zahra’s behalf, Raj exchanged a look with Zahra, who smiled smugly. Raj grinned, reached down and grabbed a fistful of snow, and proceeded to drop it down the back of Jake’s jacket.

He yelped, bolting upright to shake the snow free, and Zahra positively cackled at him.

Raj, plopping back down, grinned, “Paris, definitely for me. All that food, man, it’d be incredible.”

“Paris is beautiful,” Grace agreed, “But honestly, I’d rather be in Cairo.”

Grace sighed, her eyes practically glowing happily. “There’s so much incredible history there.”

Aleister hummed, his gaze locked on Grace, a loving smile on his face. “Or Cusco. In Peru.”

She looked over at him, delighted. “Yes! Oh, that would be incredible, don’t you think?”

They devolved into a quiet conversation about historical importance and archeological ruins, and Craig turned to me.

“Ken,” he grinned, “Where would you rather be?”

I tilted my head up to look at Sean, who raised an eyebrow at me.

“Um, probably Barcelona. In Spain.” I said. “My sister Kessa went once on her senior trip, she said it was gorgeous.”

Sean hummed. “I’ve seen pictures, so I’d be inclined to agree with her.”

“Wow,” I smiled, “You want to go to Barcelona too?”

Sean held me tighter, answering with a breathtaking grin, “Of course, if you’re there.”

Jake snorted, and when everyone turned to look at him, he flushed, recovering with, “I’ve always wanted to go to the Sahara, maybe go on a safari?”

Craig’s mouth dropped open in pleasant surprise. “Dude that’s so hardcore, bro!”

Jake shrugged. “Not really, you’re just there to observe animals in their natural habitat. I just, I’ve always liked the idea.”

Quinn sat up, face determined. “I’ve decided. I want to go to Athens.”

“Oh, Athens!” Michelle sighed. “I’ve always wanted to go there!”

Estela hummed. “It is really pretty.”

Everyone looked over at her. 

“You’ve been to Athens?” I asked.

She nodded. “I’ve been to a few different places around the world. I wasn’t in San Trobida my whole life, you know.”

Zahra’s eyes narrowed. “That’s very interesting but it also tells us nothing.”

Estela grinned. “I have to have some secrets.”

“Ok, ok,” Craig cleared his throat. “So that means you have more experience with the world than most of us, so. Where would you go?”

Estela looked over at the fire, her whole face softening. “Mumbai. For the Festival of Colors.”

A soft rush of agreement went up throughout all of us.

Jake turned to Varyyn. “I guess you’re wondering what...”

He didn’t finish because Varyyn was curled up on a blanket next to the fire, dead asleep.

Jake snorted. “Man, we must be incredibly boring.”

Raj flicked Jake’s ear. “He’s had a busy day, Jake, let him live.”

Jake shook his head, smiling a little, and then, cautiously, he said, “You know, maybe, just for old times sake, after y’all graduate I could fly ya out to Mumbai.”

He didn’t look at us, though all of us were certainly looking at him.

He shrugged, shoulders tense. “I’ve seen the Festival of Colors before. You know.”

He swallowed, his whole body stilling, his face heavily creased with pain. “With Mike.”

We were silent, our eyes darting towards one another like we weren’t really sure what to say to that, silently asking each other what to do next.

Raj reached over, hooking his arm through Jake’s. “That’d be lit, dude. We’d have so much fun.”

Grace nodded, smiling kindly. “I’d love that.”

Nixa POV

I tilted my head back, breathing in the smell of the ocean carried to me on the warm, late summer breeze. 

Despite nearly twenty years having gone by since the last time I’d visited this beach, it still looked the same. The same surf, the same sand, the same view.

The same people, too.

Well, I thought to myself, plus a couple more.

I opened my eyes and looked to my right, smiling when I saw Alma, curled in Michael’s lap, giggling contentedly. Asher and Elena were sitting beside them, murmuring quietly about Elena’s brand new nephew, while Ada and Audrey sprinted back and forth across the sands, running from Ava and Blake, Ada and Audrey tossing Blake’s stolen car keys between the two of them, and all four of them shrieking with laughter.

I chuckled softly to myself, watching them, every one of them turned to pure gold by the sun and shining brighter than my eyes could stand.

“You know,” Alma started, her voice sweet and soft with happiness, “You’re a lot calmer than I thought you’d be.”

“How do you mean?” I asked.

Alma shrugged and said, “Considering how...Aunt Tina behaved at the wedding...I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything-”

I smirked. “I’m not exactly thin skinned, Alma.”

She smiled, her shoulders easing a bit.

I tilted my head back and curled my toes in the warm sand. “I think I’m still a little in denial.”

“About?” 

“Being free,” I said, thinking of the shell-shocked look on my mother’s face when I’d stopped her from ruining Alma and Michael’s wedding.

Alma reached a hand out towards me, wiggling her fingers. In a move I hadn’t forgotten from our childhood I reached back over and tangled our fingers together.

Alma smiled at me, the late summer wind blowing her hair across her face but still not able to cover up the soft content in her eyes. Alma said softly, “We’re here, and we’re not going anywhere ever again.”

Michael looked over but didn’t remove his arms from around Alma’s waist as he smiled at me too. “I’m new to the family, but I know Alma and her siblings well enough to know by now that she means it. And wherever she goes, I go.”

I let myself snort at that. “For a hardcore businessman, you sure are a sap.”

He grinned broadly, tugging Alma closer and pressing a kiss to her cheek as Alma laughed and blushed. “Yeah, I am.”

Suddenly, Ava plopped down beside me, hooking an arm through mine, her face reddened from exertion and her eyes sparkling as she watched Blake pour a sandcastle bucket full of sea water over Ada and Audrey.

“Finally got the keys back, but those three are still going at it.” She said, a broad smile tugging at her mouth.

Ava looked over at me and nudged me. “So hey, where are you gonna go now that Aunt Tina’s leash is gone?”

Alma and Asher immediately objected to the language, but I just blinked at her, so calm and sure of herself after this summer, and laughed.

Long and so hard my stomach ached a bit, tears beading at the corners of my eyes.

Eventually, Ava nudged me again. “Ok, you’re starting to sound a little like the Joker, ease up buttercup.”

I reached out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Ava’s ear. “Well, we’ve all got our inheritances, my mother is banished from my life, Chaz and I decided that we wanted different things in life and we’re not gonna try to actually date, and I had to quit my old job to go on the cruise, so my future is pretty much wide open.”

Ada, Audrey, and Blake sat down with the rest of us. 

Ada frowned at me. “I didn’t know you had to quit your job.”

I gave a wry grin. “Not many insurance companies allow their employees to take three months of vacation time.”

Alma squeezed my hand. “We’ll figure it out. We’ll help you.”

I smiled at her, feeling as light and free as the clouds above us. “I know. That’s what’s so great about it. I’ve got a clean slate, a completely fresh start, and most importantly, I’ve got all of you.”

Asher ducked his head down, grinning. “You’re a little bit of a sap too.”

I smiled at him. “I can afford to be. I don’t really know where I go from here. Maybe I’ll just move to New York and get a job as a waitress, figure the rest out later. But I have that opportunity now, and I’ve got a very sizable inheritance to fall back on. Not to mention all of you.”

I looked around at them, tanned skin, hair slightly sun bleached, and that ease of laughter in their faces that only came from a truly unforgettable summer.

Varyyn POV

His eyes were beautiful. 

That had been my first coherent thought upon meeting Diego. Those eyes that were the exact shade of the amber we used in our weapons, the same shade of the amber of the Idols. But his eyes...they were not cold or cruel mockeries of fate.

They were warm. They were kind. 

And they were sad, but that sadness was well hidden. He hid it behind bright smiles and easy laughter, that somehow he still meant with all of his heart. 

Diego was...fascinating. He made jokes I didn’t understand but still found amusing, he rolled his eyes at Seraxxa and indulged every whim Uqzhaal came to him with, no matter how trivial. And he mourned his friends, the other Catalysts, with such passion and such a look of deep agony that even Seraxa hadn’t asked him about their location again.

I knew that look he buried beneath his smiles and his laughter, that look of loss and hurt that could barely be comprehended. I’d felt it before as well. 

I hated to admit it but in the next few months, I allowed myself to get attached to Diego. I let myself...grow close with him. Laugh at his jokes and his whispered comments about Seraxa. I let him tell me about his friends, and for the first time I understood why they acted the way they did, and it had hit me that the Catalysts were not gods after all...

Just twelve people who had no idea what had been awaiting them when they came to Vaanu. They were simply people who were scared for their lives and for the lives of their friends. 

Diego spoke of them more and more often as time marched onward, although he only ever did so with me, late at night after our lessons in English. His eyes grew hazy and soft and...beautiful.

Love will do that to a person’s eyes. It makes them beautiful.

The months had dragged on and his smiles became more frequent, stronger, his laughs longer and more honest, and I ignored the glances my mother sent my way when he reached for me while learning about our history, about his own fate and legacy.

I ignored the hum of pleasure and the soft glow of happiness that came whenever Diego turned to me to share a new discovery, a new idea or thought, his eyes bright and wide and almost happy.

I pushed away the thoughts that crept into my head late, late at night as I lay sleeping in my own bed. Thought’s of Diego’s hands, his mouth, the way he moved, the sound of his voice when he whispered, the scent he carried that was purely his, the way the sunlight of Vaanu seemed to curve around his skin like an embrace. The beautiful hue of his eyes lingered in my thoughts for hours at night.

He began to haunt my every breath, lingering in my mind without reprieve, a ray of hopeful sunshine that warmed my entire being in a way I had never known I needed. I lived for every moment his eye met mine, every word he spoke to me, only to me, every single brush of his fingers against my skin, and every moment where he forgot himself and laughed, long and hard, head thrown back in glee.

I never let myself reach for him in that way, because he was not mine to crave or desire, he was a Catalyst and a possible bringer of destruction for my people’s way of life. It was not right to think of him as often as I did, to dream of him the way I did when I awoke in the middle of the night, panting and sweating with his name on my lips and the dream of his skin beneath my hands causing my heart to thunder in my chest. 

I knew it was twisted to desire him, a captive under my hold, and so I made no advances, and I said nothing and ignored Seraxa’s narrowed eyes and my mother’s own forceful gaze when he was near.

He was not...it would never have been right to voice any of the confused and tangled and...loving thoughts he invoked in me. So I kept silent and let him heal from his hurt and his pain.

Seeing him reunited with his friends had been both ecstasy and agony, for I knew what came next, and I couldn’t bear to be torn from him by death or exile, and yet his eyes shone with such relief and joy at seeing his friends again that I could not begrudge them their reunion.

We took the Catalysts to Sharktooth Isle, and as I stood looking into Diego’s beautiful amber eyes, I found desperation clawing at my gut, the words last chance ringing over and over and over again in my head.

But it was not right to push these feelings onto him, without even taking into consideration the fact I had just banished him and his friends into exile. So I merely forced a smile, clasped his shoulder and turned back from the boats before I forgot myself.

And as the boat sailed away, Uqzhaal’s eyes still locked onto the retreating island, I did not let myself look back, did not let the pain show on my face.

Diego was gone and now it was too late.

I let the others guide the boat back to the shore and imagined, for a single moment, what it would have been like.

To instead take Diego’s face in my hands and seal my lips to his, to feel him under my hands, to hold him against me, our arms wrapped tightly around one another. What it would have been like to press my adoration and passion into his skin, to whisper my...my love...

I blinked and let the image float away.

Diego was gone and it was too late.

Uqzhaal sighed, and I looked over at him.

He looked tired, and old, like the world had suddenly gotten much harder.

Which, actually, it had.

Uqzhaal spoke, his voice somewhat startling in the silence of the evening, “There is always snow.”

“What do you mean?” I questioned softly.

Uqzhaal looked back at me, eyes unfooled and sad. “When times are painful. There is always snow when times are painful.”

Uqzhaal pointed up towards the mountains, laid heavy with white snow that shone even in the dark of the night. “And this, my Prince, is winter.”

I said nothing and tried not to think of amber eyes and skin loved by the sun.

“Winter has come to Vaanu, my Prince. I think times are going to become more painful before they ease.” Uqzhaal’s voice was softer now.

He looked back towards Sharktooth Isle. “But I do not think we are the ones in danger of this pain.” As he turned back, his eyes caught on me, and he paused. “Well...not for most of us at least.”

I looked down at the blade at my side, the amber glinting in the moonlight, and the ever-present memory of Diego’s eyes haunting me. 

My sister Kella’s hand was warm in mine in the artificial chill of the house, my other sister Kessa’s hands running through my hair as she hummed something almost too softly to be heard.

I tucked my face tighter into Kessa’s stomach, blocking out everything for a moment to let myself clear my thoughts.

We’d just come to live with Tìo Grant and Tìa Sophia two weeks ago, and despite having spent countless hours staring at the walls around me, I couldn’t believe we were living here, in Napa and not back in Brooklyn. It just felt too good to be true, that we could have left that easily, and been taken to a large, loving family we’d never known that was dying to meet us and love us.

Love us.

What a concept.

Kella’s thumb rubbed across the back of my hand as she kneeled down to press her lips to my temple, her other hand landing on my back.

I let my shoulders relax but I did not look at her.

What if they didn’t like us after all? It’d happened before.

Kella murmured, “Cariño, I didn’t quite hear that.”

I sighed, turning my mouth away from Kessa’s side to repeat, “What if they don’t like us?”

Her voice was sweet when Kessa murmured, “Of course they will, bébé.”

“Mama and Papa didn’t.”

I couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of my mouth, and I felt both Kella and Kessa suck in sharp breaths, their hands tightening as they froze in hurt. I felt hot tears prick at the back of my eyes and I was so angry with myself for bringing up the one thing I promised to never talk about to them, the one thing that never failed to stop Kessa’s laughter in its tracks and give Kella that cold expression that I hated.

I knew they were mouthing words over the top of my head, their hands gentle on me, as they tried to decide what to say next. Because what can you say to a worry like this?

Kessa kneeled down too, and I opened my eyes.

My sisters were beautiful, all dark eyes and round features and long, long hair that spilled like ink dark silk from the tops of their heads to the middle of their backs. And even though they were much older than me, Kella by thirteen years, and Kessa only by four years though it seemed like more, the two of them were all I’d ever had in the world. I’d had Kella and Kessa by my side through my whole life and nothing and no one else, and I knew that wouldn’t change if our sudden rush of good fortune ran out, but…

I didn’t want it to.

I liked living in a house in Napa instead of the apartment back in Brooklyn, I liked Tío Grant and Tía Sophia, and I liked the way Kessa smiled easier now, the way Kella had time to play with me instead of working. I liked the idea of having a family, of having more people who could understand, and I loved them already.

I didn’t want them to decide they didn’t like us and send us away.

Kella, eyes serious, cupped my face with one hand, the other still firmly in my grip. “Kemen Rodrigo De Vega, you are the sweetest, most honest, most gentle boy on God’s green earth, and you made plenty of friends in your class in Brooklyn, remember?”

I nodded.

Kessa, smiling sweetly, eyes sparkling, continued, “So that means that they will like you, Ken. I promise.”

“But what if they don’t?” I pressed, still fearful of the answer.

Kella shrugged easily. “Then they’re idiots.”

Kessa gently smacked Kella’s arm, chiding, “That’s not nice, Kel.”

“It’s true, anyone who couldn’t like either one of you is an idiot.” Kella sniffed. “Point is, Ken, even if they don’t like us, which I’m sure will not happen, it’ll be fine.”

Her eyes gazed deep into mine, promising, “We’re gonna meet Tío Grant’s brother, his sister in law, and their son, Diego, and they will like us, and it’ll be great.”

Kessa nodded serenely. “And Diego is just a little younger than you, only by a few months, so the two of you should get along well.”

“But what if we don’t? Will Tío Grant be mad?” I bit down on my lip, a rising clenching feeling spreading through my chest.

Kella scooted closer, her voice soft, “No, cariño, he won’t be.” She brushed some hair back from my face. “You don’t have to be afraid of Tío Grant, he’s one of the good guys, remember?”

I did, but we had spent so long as just us three, with no one else, that it was hard to shake the feeling that I shouldn’t trust him or Tía Sophia, sweet and kind and funny as they were.

With a low chuckle, Kessa gently reminded me, “We’re not alone anymore, Ken.” Her eyes shone and she almost looked like she was glowing with content. “We’ve got a family. And it’s going to be amazing.”

Searching my face, Kella asked, “Ok?”

I paused.

Tío Grant and Tía Sophia were excited about me meeting Diego, and a part of me was excited at the thought of meeting someone my own age before school started, having a friend to talk to.

I perked up at the thought.

“If Diego and I are friends it’ll be easier when I’m in school, right?” I asked.

Nodding, Kella smiled, “It sure will.”

“Then, yes. Ok.” I nodded firmly, my mind made up. “Let’s meet our family.”

Kessa gave a soft squeal of delight, ruffling my hair and blowing me a kiss before standing, while Kella leaned in to press her lips to my forehead as she murmured, “Let’s go, cariño.”

Kella stood, and with a glance to Kessa, lead our way into the family room of the house, where Tío Grant and Tía Sophia were chatting with a man and a woman over coffee.

Looking up at our entry, Tía Sophia brightened. “Oh hello, kids! Come in, please, Theo and Helen just got here.”

The man, who bore a shocking resemblance to Tío Grant, shame round eyes and long nose and even the same laugh lines, smiled at us. “Good to meet the three of you. You can call me Tío Theo, or just Theo, whichever you want.”

The woman, petite and pretty with curly hair a few shades darker than her husbands that was pulled back primly, smiled at us as well. “And I’m your Tía Helen or just Helen, if you prefer.”

I looked up at Kessa as she beamed at them, saying kindly, “It’s wonderful to meet you, really. This whole thing has been like a dream, it hasn’t felt real for any of us, too good to be true.” Kessa’s laugh was like distant bells, high and clear but soft.

I watched, with no small amount of pride, at the ease of Tío Theo and Tía Helen’s shoulders, the softness that entered their eyes as Kessa spoke, weaving a spell-like enchantment around them as easily as she breathed.

Kella’s hand was still firmly in mine, and when I looked up at her, I saw her eyes, guarded as usual, but the downward tilt to her mouth was gone, the rest of her body perfectly neutral.

Kessa motioned to each of us in turn, chirping, “I’m Kasen, that’s Kamella, and this,” she squeezed my hand. “Is Kemen.”

“Fond of names that start with k, wasn’t-” Tío Theo stepped easily over the abrupt end of his sentence just as Kella’s shoulders raised and Kessa’s hand tightened in mine, and Tío Theo smoothly asked, “But you go by Kessa, Kella, and Ken, right?”

Kessa smiled prettily, no sign of discomfort in the way she stood or answered, “Yes, that’s right.”

Tía Helen motioned us forward. “Well, come on, let’s get to know each other better.”

We rounded the corner of the couch, and my heart leaped when I saw, sitting off to the side reading a Magic Treehouse book, was a small boy with dark hair who had to be Diego. He looked up at me, blinked, and then hid his face behind his book just as I, in a sudden fit of nerves, dove behind Kella’s legs.

Huffing softly, Kella stopped walking as I wrapped my arms around her knees, burying my face in her thigh, blocking out sight again.

Tía Sophia asked with gentle humor, “I assume you want to…?”

Kessa, still standing beside Kella and me, replied easily. “She’d probably prefer to.”

Kella hooked a finger through my hand across her knee, leaning down to whisper, “Too much?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. Is he looking up?”

Kella paused. Then said, “Yes.”

I took a deep breath. I could do this.

I lifted my head and peeked around Kella’s leg.

Diego was peeking out over his book, eyes wide and watching me avidly.

I leaned out further, loosening my grip on Kella’s leg, trying to think of something to say.

Diego, from behind his book, asked, “Do you like Magic Treehouse?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Do you?”

Diego nodded back. “Have you read this one?”

I glanced at the cover. “No.”

He looked down at his book then at me, his voice cautious. “Do you want to read it with me?”

I looked up at Kella. “Can I?”

She smiled at me, her shoulders easing. “Of course.”

I started to say yes to Diego, then remembered my Tío’s and Tía’s behind me.

Turning around, I asked the adults at large, “Can I?”

Tío Grant laughed, hearty and warm. “Sure thing, squirt.”

I beamed and turned back to Diego, who had lowered his book enough to look me full on. “I would love to read with you! I can even do voices if you want!”

His mouth dropped open. “You can do voices?”

At my nod, Diego turned to his father in awe, “Just like you, Papa!”

The adults laughed and I slipped my hands out of my sisters and raced over to Diego, climbing up next to him and grinning, “I can’t do them as good as Kella, but I can do them pretty good.”

Diego crowded close to the armrest on the couch, reaching out to take my hand, his grip cool and firm, and tug me in close next to him.

He turned back to the first page, his slightly smaller body tucked against mine as he tapped at the first line of the book. “So Annie’s the best one in this book, but I always like her the best.”

“Me too!’ I cried.

Diego turned to face me directly, our noses almost brushing as he beamed, “Isn’t she so cool?”

I nodded furiously, “She’s the best!”

We scooted in closer together and began to read.

Four hours later, I was roused from an inopportune nap by Kella picking me up, separating Diego and me.

I reached out towards him again, cold fear building in my stomach. “Kella, let me stay!”

She shushed me but didn’t move further, pressing her head close to mine to whisper, “Diego’s parents want to take him home, cariño.”

I stretched forward to grasp a still dozing Diego’s hand. “But, Kella, please-”

Softly, Kella laughed. “Cariño, he’ll be back, they only live five minutes away. Kessa or I can walk you there tomorrow to see him if you want.”

I considered this.

“All right, I guess. But I can see him tomorrow, for sure, right?” I asked.

“Yes, bébé, you can see him tomorrow.” Kella waited until I let go of Diego’s hand and settled into her arms to walk away.

I tucked my head into her neck and let my eyes fall closed.

Tía Sophia’s voice floated over to me, brimming with pride. “They sure got along better than I could have hoped.”

Kella hummed, and I could hear the smile in her face as she said, “It was like they’d known each other forever. Do you think it’s because of their age?”

“Maybe.” Tía Sophia replied. “Or, maybe some souls just understand each other upon meeting. Either way, I have a good feeling about this.”