#emmanuelle

ᯓ★ A series of NSFW/smut images with Sir John.

˚₊⊹ masterlist ✧ Tumblr ₊⊹˚

Pairing: Sir John x f!Reader || Emmanuelle Warning: smut

Chapters: [COMPLETED]

'Oblo' ' by Alberto Baldan Bembo

Taken from the motion picture soundtrack to Ecco lingua d'argento a.k.a. Emmanuelle's Silver Tongue (1976)

Her? What, is she horny or something? I’ve got to hand it to Emmanuelle: I’ve encountered a bad movie in my day, but it’s a rarity to bump up against one that just feels outright fake. Inhabiting a fantasy world of luxury and sensuality, Emmanuelle is basically the worst hotel guest ever, finding a never-ending litany of things to gripe about to the concierge because it’s her job as “quality control” when she’s not fucking someone(s). The sex, when we indulge in her torrid flings, is a bland affair, all insert tab A into slot B, not remotely sensual much less engaging. But it’s the line readings and dialogue which elevate this to the apotheosis of absolute nonsense. Conversations so asinine that they beggared belief, being so literal and on the nose about excessive displays of wealth or sexuality that they lose all interest. Care to beat around the bush at least a little bit? No? It’s just inert and listless, wandering about the halls and grounds of the hotel, content to stare at Emmanuelle and the attractively appointed and furnished rooms she inhabits from a distance. There’s about as much appeal as celebrity YouTube home tours taped for Architectural Digest or the like. Adapting a classic erotic character, this aims for a sort of vintage sense of luxury in an exotic locale, but at most feels reductive and leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Noémie Merlant can do so much better than this, and Naomi Watts continues her downward spiral of poorly selected roles (if delivering a comedy pièce de résistance along the way). Watching them grouse at one another in a passive-aggressive standoff would be vaguely amusing—the impossibly high standards Emmanuelle pursues are laughable after a point—but for the fact that it, just like everything else, goes nowhere, content to stare into the middle-distance. This feels like AI slop even if it isn’t.

THE RULES

SIP

A sex scene starts!!!

The lighting is just very blue (heh).

Sex moans.

Emmanuelle is inconvenienced by something.

Laura Gemser