Films Watched in 2021:

Rebecca pauses her crying, looking up from where her face was buried in her knees.

"What?"

The girl is tall and has half of her blue hair shaved. She scoffs and shakes the carton of cigarettes in her outstretched hand.

"A cigarette. You just look like you could use one." The girl hits the box and brings one to her black lips.

Rebecca sniffs, wiping at her eyes.

"I've never had one before." She says softly. The girl snorts and leans against the wall next to her. Rebecca can't help looking at her shoes. Scuffed leather covered in dirt and mud. Her mother would never let her leave the house like that. She'd get a swift smack to the back of the head if one hair was out of place.

"Clearly," she starts, fishing a lighter out of her oversized jean pocket. "How old are you?"

"Thirteen." Rebecca frowns slightly.

"I've seen you around. You're, like, always at the tennis courts. Don't you have a life?" The girl grins and lights the cigarette with a silver lighter, the words Best Dad Ever are etched into the side.

"I'm the best player on the team, I have to practice every chance I get." Rebecca says, absolutely not petulantly. The girl snorts.

"Bullshit. I've watched you play, you look miserable the entire time." The girl takes a deep drag, letting the smoke fill her lungs.

Rebecca frowns, wiping at her eyes again. Talking to this person... She doesn't feel as bad anymore.

"You don't know me."

"No, but I just found a kid crying in an alley. Forgive me for being concerned." She shakes the carton again. "C'mon, it'll help you feel better."

Rebecca looks between the girl and the carton.

This girl... She looks cool. Like she couldn't give two shits about what anyone thinks. Rebecca has never seen anyone like this before, all of her tennis friends run in the same circles as her and her family, they go to the same country clubs, their dads play golf together, their moms frequent the same hair salons.

She's heard all of the DARE specials, heard all about lung cancer, she knows this is a bad idea.

...

Rebecca takes the cigarette with a shaking hand.

"I don't... How do I...?" The girl snorts and lights the cigarette for her.

"Take a little puff, hold it in your mouth, then take a deep breath in. It might burn a little at first."

Rebecca does as she's told and immediately starts coughing. She can hear the girl laughing at her and her cheeks turn a deep red.

"Ha! W-wait, that was too good!" The girl runs her fingers through her hair. "Okay, hold on, don't get pissy, that was a good first try."

Despite herself, Rebecca gets a pleased little thrill at the praise, sitting up a little straighter.

"Okay, try again, this time don't inhale so much smoke. We don't have to rush it, babes."

Rebecca tries again with the pointers. Her lungs burn and her throat hurts, but she can't deny that it feels... Different. Good different. It warmed her up and calmed her down from the upset state she was found in.

"See? Told you so." The girl has a pleased little smile on her face and sits down on the concrete next to Rebecca.

"What's your name, kid?"

Rebecca crosses her arms over her knees, looking at the girl with a small, awkward smile.

"Rebecca. Prince."

The girl whistles.

"No shit? Like, the billboard guy?"

Rebecca sighs softly, looking out the mouth of the alley they were sat in.

"Yeah, like the billboard guy. That's my dad." Rebecca hates that fucking billboard.

"Oh ho ho! Forgive me, your royal highness, I didn't realize who I was dealing with here." The girl laughs, stubbing her cigarette out on the ground. Rebecca does the same.

"Who are you, then?"

The girl grins and offers her a hand. Her black nail polish is chipped and sloppily applied.

Rebecca hates Adam and Lucille Prince. Since she was born, her entire life had been planned out for her by them regardless of what Rebecca wanted.

I think that she doesn't remember a pretty sizable chunk of her childhood, and that is the biggest reason why she let them take care of Ryanne.

But what she doesn't remember is important to her character. She doesn't remember being locked in her room for days on end because she broke a glass. She doesn't remember having to stand outside in the pouring rain for hours because her parents were at a party and locked the doors. She doesn't remember Lucille's nails biting into the skin of her wrist as she pulled her around, showing her off to each of their neighbors. She doesn't remember Adam's hand gripping the back of her neck, keeping her in place at whatever fancy event she was forced to attend.

I don't see Rebecca having close friends. I think her parents kept her isolated as a kid. She's in ballet, she's in tennis, she's in junior robotics, she's taking piano lessons, she's in girl scouts, she's in gymnastics. Lucille and Adam do everything they can to keep her away. She has no time or energy to put into any relationships with her peers. She's polite enough, her parents wouldn't settle for anything less, but I think kids could sense that disconnect.

The issues came when Rebecca hit puberty and started fighting back. She's stubborn as a mule and that lack of compliance leads to a lot of tension in that house.

In high school she fell into a bad crowd. She got addicted to cigarettes in 8th grade because the older kids with the cool music offered her one and that was the first time she was asked instead of told. That's how she met her then best friend, Emma. Emma was three years older than her but Emma listened to Rebecca and she craved it. They partied, they drank, they smoked, and Rebecca quit each of her after school programs.

Adam and Lucille were livid. They grounded her for months, locked her in her room again, withheld dinner, anything to try and get her back under control.

But Emma taught her how to pick locks. Emma taught her how to make a dummy out of pillows. Emma taught her how to turn off her location on her phone. Emma taught her how to be free.

Emma introduced her to Michael.

And wasn't that a breath of fresh air?

Michael practically worshipped the ground she walked on. He was constantly at her beck and call and so eager to please her and Rebecca loved it. She finally felt important to someone. Michael asked her questions about herself and he was the first person to notice the tattoo Emma gave her. Michael let her borrow his brother's video camera to make little movies. And Rebecca loved it. She loves making movies, she always has. She used to create intricate storylines between her Barbies and this is just that times 100. She gets a little cult following on YouTube and she starts getting closer to Michael.

Emma graduates and becomes a tattoo artist and stops answering Rebecca's calls. But that's okay, because she still has Michael, and they're going on a year together now. Rebecca thinks they might be together forever.

...

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Fuck...

Fuck...