#emiok

Emi knows firsthand how tough it is being God. No-one thinks being God would be anything but fun and games but Emi knows firsthand that it's not that simple. Like, Emi gets power and worship and all that jazz but people keep asking her for stuff all the time! Like, every second of every day someone, somewhere would decide to bother her in order to get something; normally some powerful item or a teleport or the resurrection of a loved one. It didn’t help that she couldn’t just not hear the mortals’ prayers, because the universe decided that they get inserted directly into Emi’s head. Fun. However, Emi was nothing if not good at ignoring people, even if they made it difficult. Thankfully, they usually gave up after some time of being ignored. But there are some mortals who Emi finds interesting enough to humor their requests.

Take Erin for example. An interesting mortal, caught up in strife and conflict wherever they go. An assassin unable to fully dampen their emotions, a leader unable to fully trust their crew. It was all so interesting. So, Emi watched and humored them. It always ended up being fun for her in the end.

Today was shaping up to be one of those fun days. Emi had just gotten a request from Erin to meet them in the Sanctuary. With a snap of her fingers, Emi was floating in front of Erin.

“Wow, you do not look so great.” Emi said as soon as she saw Erin. It was true. Erin looked exhausted. Wow, they had really gone downhill since the last time Emi checked up on them. Is this what parenthood does to a mortal? Right now, Emi was very glad she didn’t have any kids.

“You think?” Erin hissed before massaging their forehead. “Sorry, it’s been a long week. I need something from you.”

“You gotta tell me what you need first. Different items cost different prices.” Emi leaned back in the air as she crossed her legs and got comfortable.

“I don’t need an item. I need you to watch Drew.” Erin states.

Wait, what? Watch Drew? The kid?

“Hold up. I’m not a babysitter, I’m God! I don’t do things like that.” Emi holds her hands in front of her. “You have mortals who can do that stuff for you, right?”

Erin shakes their head. “Everyone is either busy or untrustworthy and I am not handing Drew off to a stranger. I have enough enemies in the world, I am not giving them any ammunition against me.” They said bitterly. Ok, angsty much? Sheesh, mortals.

“Too bad. Not my problem.” Emi narrowed her eyes. Erin took a deep breath, preparing to say something they really didn’t want to say.

“I swear, Emi, he’s your kid too! You gave him to me, you can watch him for one day! I have been a single parent for so long and maybe I just want the father of my kid to be helpful for once.” Erin exclaimed in a bitter tone. Oh yeah, Drew was also Emi’s kid. Funny how that one fact came back to bite Emi right in the but. Also, yelling at God to her face was new for Erin. Normally they just cussed under their breath if they were really annoyed at Emi. This was interesting. Emi really did not want to be a babysitter, but she also didn’t want Erin to be upset with her. They were her favorite mortal!

“Fine. I’ll watch Drew.” Emi floated down till she was eye level with Erin. “Just give me the kid and go have your Girls’ Day or whatever it is you have planned.”

Erin visibly relaxed, giving Emi a grateful smile. “Thanks, Emi. I appreciate this.” They said as they walked into another room, presumably Drew’s.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Emi muttered under her breath. She could be a father to the kid for one day. Kids were just smaller mortals and she dealt with those every day. Easy peasy.

Erin walked back in the room with Drew in her arms and Emi immediately regretted everything. Oh, God, baby mortals were terrifying. Stubby limbs, drooling mouth, and beady eyes that probably looked very similar to Emi’s own blank eyes. She now understood clearly why mortals yelped the first time they saw her. What was even going on inside that oversized head? This shit was scary!

Erin deposited the child into Emi’s arms and Emi cringed back, holding him as far away from her as possible.

Emi did not want to spend any amount of time with this gremlin. “Uh, Erin, I change my min-“

“Nope! You agreed and you are not going back on your word now. Watch Drew for one evening. It won’t be that hard.” Erin interrupted with the tone of a stern leader and single mother who had seen too much bullshit in their life. Before Emi could start talking again, maybe call upon an old favor to get out of this deal, Erin opened her wings and was gone out the skylight in a flash of feathers, leaving Emi alone with Drew.

Fuck this. Erin was gone. She could totally ditch this child and do other things. She didn’t have to listen to mortals, She was God! She had better things to do, like mess with those mortals who kept asking her for netherite. Netherite was so last update, didn’t they know that there were new ores to upgrade tools with?

Letting Drew fall out of her arms, Emi called upon her powers and teleported all the way to SpawnTown. Ah yes, freedom. Erin doesn’t need to know about this. As long as Emi gets back to Drew before Erin gets back, she’s free to do whatever she wants. Probably cause some destruction and desolation, honestly.

As Emi flicked through her options to see what would be the most fun to torment mortals with, a soft popping noise and a weight in her arms distracted her. Drew had apparently teleported straight into her grasp and looked at her with his unreadable baby face.

“Pop, pop!” He said happily, giving her a hug around her arm, but Emi was more focused on the very obvious use of godly magic he’d just used. It was quite powerful for a 2 year old godling. Teleporting was interesting, but what other magics did this baby have?

“Hey Drew. Random question, but can you do this?” Emi asked as she shifted Drew so that she could use her free hand to summon some sticks of TNT. Drew nodded and clapped his hands together, summoning the same amount of TNT into his arms.

Ok, maybe babysitting this kid wouldn’t be so bad after all. She could use this.

“How do you feel about destruction?” Emi asked her child. Drew’s cheerful babble was an answer enough for her. Wow, he really was her kid.

”Well then, let’s go do some destruction!”

——

Erin breathed in the salty air of the sea. Fuck yeah, this was more like it. The air currents were super nice at this time of day and there was nothing stopping Erin from just flying circles through the sky. She didn’t have to worry about keeping an eye on Drew or watching over her shoulder for enemies. Today was her day. Every parent needs some me-time once in a while. She got to bake with Isa, go shopping in Balls City, and now fly freely over the coast. She’d missed just being able to flap her wings and soar. Erin couldn’t believe that there was a time when she didn’t have them. They felt so ingrained in her identity.

Erin caught an updraft and let herself be carried up into the clouds. God, the view from here was fucking insane! You could see everything! Even though Erin was enjoying her alone time, she also wished Drew could see this. Hopefully soon she could start teaching him how to fly. She already had a spot picked out.

As Erin barreled through a thick cloud, she spotted some familiar shapes flying towards her— some of the blackbirds that spent time around her. They’d just started following her one day and never left. Noisy fucks who were a bit cursed most of the time but she loved them. They also had good ideas sometimes, which was a good reason to keep them around. They normally only really showed up when there were interesting things happening in the world and Erin’s day off wasn’t particularly interesting. Erin steeled herself to hear some awful news as she slowed her flight and leveled off.

“ERIN!” The first of the small flock yelled right into Erin’s ear as soon they got close. “CHAOS IN SPAWNTOWN. SONBOY DREW AND GOD TEAMUP ARC.”

“Emi and Drew are committing many crimes in Spawntown. What should we do?” The second one cried as they landed on Erin’s head.

“Fun chaos time hehehe! Come on, Streamer, let’s go watch!” cackled the third as they did flips in the air currents.

Erin processed all this information. Emi and Drew in Spawntown causing destruction. She honestly should have expected this when she left the two alone together. Of course those two would instigate each other.

Erin cursed under her breath as she retrieved her portable teleporter. Teleporting while flying was always weird but she did not have time to land if what the chattering birds were saying was true. She held the crystal to her chest, selecting Spawn as her teleport location. In a flash of light her and the birds were sucked through space and thrown out right in the center of spawn city.

The blackbirds did not lie, this was chaos. As Erin righted herself, she surveyed the land. Buildings on fire, but not burning down, explosions going off and knocking people around, half a dozen people floating in the sky. Yeah, this had the signs of a godly prank written all over it. Erin scanned the area, looking for signs of Emi or Drew. The only people she saw were those screaming, running or hiding in terror. Gritting her teeth, Erin stuck out a hand and stopped one of the people fleeing in panic. Fable, that was their name.

“Where’s Emi and Drew?” Erin bit out. Fable looked confused at the question but they pointed in the direction behind them. Erin let them go and leapt into the air, catching the updrafts of the fires below and gliding towards where she hoped Emi and Drew were. Her blackbirds followed close behind her, providing extra sets of eyes for the hunt.

Erin realized as she flew that the first big building in the direction Fable had pointed was GMC Tower. Of fucking course Emi and Drew would set up there. A few flaps of her wings and Erin was standing on the roof of GMC tower, looking down into it. Sure enough, there were Emi and Drew sitting at the tables of the Korean BBQ and having a nice lunch as they watched the city burn.

Erin blinked. Wait, was that Fawnde and Eun tied up in a corner? Did Emi and Drew really capture two of the most wanted criminals during their father-song hangout? What even was Erin’s life right now? It's fine. She’s fine. The whole thing’s not super important right now. What matters is getting inside and giving Emi a very stern talking to.

Investigating the roof, Erin didn’t see any ways in from up here. Dammit. She’ll have to go through the ground floor. Or maybe..

Erin stomped on the glass, making a ringing noise that she hoped Emi would notice. Seeing as the god looked up and waved cheekily, it seemed she had.

“Let me inside!” Erin yelled. For a second she wasn’t sure if Emi had heard but then she blinked and she was sitting at the table across from Emi. Drew was sitting next to his father, grabbing rice and seasoned beef from Emi’s plate and shoving fistfuls of it into his face. Erin shook off the leftover nausea from a quick teleport and focused on the smug deity in front of her.

“Emi, you are banned from babysitting forever.” Erin said the first thing that came to mind. “Also, stop pranking Spawntown, you’re scaring the residents.”

Emi looked thoughtful as she twirled her fork in her hand.

“Ok, sure, but me and Drew were having so much fun! It’s surprising how much we have in common. Isn't that right, Drew?” Emi spoke in monotone, but Erin could hear the smugness in her voice. Drew looked up at her and smiled a messy grin, giving a short nod. The traitor. Well, it seems that Drew wasn’t on her side. Erin had left their last conversation with the upper hand and Emi was trying to knock Erin off-balance. Well two could play at that game. Erin put on her most cheerful smile.

“That's wonderful! I’m sure you would love spending time with him more often. Maybe we could establish joint custody?” Erin put her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hand. The blackbirds chirped with laughter at Emi’s expression of horror. Her monochromatic face went even paler at the thought.

“Nah, I’ll leave the parenting to you. This was fun, but I don’t need a little godling in my life permanently.” She said. Classic Emi, changing her mind as it pleased her. Gods were fickle after all.

“That's good then. Well, if you and Drew are done with your destructive day, I think I’ll take him off your hands. Maybe even go get ice cream.” Erin watched with internal satisfaction as Drew perked up at the word ice cream. Toddlers, so easy to please. Drew slipped out of his chair and hopped up next to Erin. He grabbed her hand like normal and she let him, giving his hand a squeeze. Emi shrugged.

“Cool. Well, I’m off.” Emi said as she began to float away.

“But first you’re gonna restore the city, right?” Erin stressed. It was impossible to see in Emi’s void-like eyes, but Erin knew her well enough to tell that she was rolling her eyes.

“Fine, fine.” Emi snapped her fingers. “Happy?” Erin looked out the window. Everything looked normal, no fire or explosions. She could see people looking around, still scared and wondering why everything suddenly stopped. Erin looked back and noticed that Fawnde and Eun were no longer tied up. Damn it. Guess her life couldn’t just be that easy.

‘Very.” Erin said as she stood up from her seat. “Have a nice day.” She called as she and Drew walked over to the elevator, the blackbirds perched on Erin’s shoulders and giving Emi smug looks. Emi watched them go for a second before teleporting herself away. Erin knew that the deity wasn’t too upset at her. Emi wasn’t really like that, too free-spirited and changing to hold grudges. It was only a matter of time before Emi showed up again in Erin’s life, watching for something interesting.

In the meanwhile, Erin and Drew were going to get ice cream. Erin wouldn’t lie to her kid, not about ice cream. There was a good place in GMC if she was remembering right. The ban might still be in effect but that’s not something a few invisibility potions couldn’t solve.

“Did you have fun with Emi?” Erin asked Drew as the two of them made their way down the path towards GMC. Drew walked in silence like he always did when he was deciding what to say.

“Was fun. Miss’d you.” He said simply. Erin’s heart clenched with emotions too complicated for her to unravel. Still, she knew that a large part of it was love.

“Missed you too, buddy. Everything was so quiet without you.” Erin said as she gave Drew’s hand a squeeze again. It was true. The time she spent without Drew was much quieter. Erin reveled in the silence, resting and rejuvenating alone, but she still missed her kid when he wasn’t there. She didn’t know what she was going to do when he grew up and left the nest. Oh, fuck, that thought was not something she wanted to travel down right now. Focus on the present.

Drew’s answering smile was quiet and shy like he was, but also as bright as a thousand suns. Erin swelled with pride. Her wonderful, beautiful kid. God, he was just the best. Erin scooped up Drew and he settled down in her arms. One of the blackbirds dropped down and landed on Erin’s arm so that Drew could pet them

“Walking is talking too long. Let’s fly. I’ll show you how pretty and small everything looks from up there.” Erin said, opening her wings behind her as she prepared to lift off. Drew’s answering squeal of happiness was all the confirmation Erin needed to shoot off into the clouds. The two of them, five if you counted the three birds circling around, admired the landscape of buildings and trees below. As they got closer to GMC, Erin inhaled the ocean air deeply, causing Drew to mimic her and scrunch up his face at the salty smell. Erin laughed at his expression. Everything was perfect.