#emailtag

"Because the benefactor told him to" is such a great excuse for putting Spam in weird fetish scenarios. [scary phone voice] You have to put a water hose up your ass or you're never gonna make it. It's the only way.

I don't think Spamton would be a feet guy but I think he WOULD be a shoe guy in a kinda Patrick Bateman way. A lot of it is about all the social implications that come with the quality, style, brand, etc etc

guhhhh I reeeally love interpretations of BS Spam where he's a massive sleaze. Horrible tacky rings on every finger, sweaty, jittery, coked TF out. I'd looooove to tie him up and peg the shit out of him until he pukes, which probably won't be long with how much he drinks. And ☝️ the fugly $2,000 suit stays ON

I just KNOW Spam was using that personal dressing room to masturbate on the clock I just know it

Sp4mton desk pet with recycle bin functionality... feed him too many files and he gets full and fat, starts to move slower for a while until he can digest it all. Feed him corrupted files and it makes him sick. pick him up and waggle him to help him throw it all up