#em<33

okay so. i will start by saying i keep ruining things for myself by overanticipating them to a point where i'm like yes i expect this to be a new all time favourite thing. and i MUST stop doing this. because that happened with this book. like i wanted to love it so bad that i ended up fucking myself over hskfjdjfj BUT with that being said i did enjoy it so so much. like i think it's a solid 4/5.

i really really really love the bleak melancholy depressing nature of. well all of it. there were parts that i did think were "perfect" and so many quotes and lines that had me like !!!!!!! tattoo that on me etc etc. it was one of the first of its kind too so i definitely tried to keep that in mind the whole time. like so many things are inspired by it and i tried not to compare it to the copious amounts of postapocalyptic media out there but unfortunately i did end up doing that a bit to my detriment.

the writing was sick as hell. like it's only about 20 years old but it read like it was older than that. the lack of quotations was done in a really good way imo. i think that really helped with the immersion.

i have a hard time caring about characters/it takes a lot for me to care about characters so that of course was a barrier with this. like i definitely did have moments where i cared but there were still parts that i had to fight to care about them. this is a me problem not an issue of the book hskfjs but i think that's part of why it wasn't "perfect" for me.

i also think i just really wanted more of the moments that i did think were "perfect" yknow? like when they got super introspective and existential. and that one conversation they had where papa was like i'm scared i worry i'm the one who has to do all of these things and the boy was like no i do i'm the one i was like aaaaaahhhhhggggg more of this!!!! more of that. would have made it perfect for me i think.

but it was so fucking good. so beautiful and bleak and vivid. i honestly can't stop thinking about it like it was just soooo good. so so good. i almost wish there was more but at the same time i appreciated the ending a lot.

i talked about it so much that my mom wanted to read it so now she's about 1/4 of the way in 🤭 YEAH it was extremely enjoyable i just need to stop setting my expectations at such an unachievable place hskfjskfjf thank you so so so much for the recommendation i'm so fucking glad i can finally say i've read it!!!