“Ellie, come on,” you whine, shifting in discomfort as you wait for her outside the old hotel. 

“It’s fine, relax,” she sticks her head out the window, smiling down at you quickly before she disappears from sight yet again. You cross your arms, kicking at the chunks of pavement with the toe of your boot. 

“Seriously. This is stupid. And risky. We shouldn’t even be out here. Maria would kill me if she knew,” you call up again, shaking your head to yourself. You were always careful, and respectful; two things that had gotten you very far with Maria. She trusted you, and you made sure to never give her a reason to retract that trust. Well, except for the frequent and often idiotic situations Ellie got you into. Like getting caught in the mess of a swarm after trying to get matching hats from an old department store. Maria was livid, but Ellie was pleased, proudly displaying her hat on her bookshelf. 

“Oh whatever. You need to stop being such a stiff hard-ass. And Maria needs to stop babying you,” Ellie shouts down at you, her voice muffled from the distance between you. 

You frown. Were you a hard-ass? That was kind of uncalled for. You used to live for jokes and fun and doing whatever you pleased whenever you pleased. But you grew up, and you had learned how important it was to be careful, to be safe. 

Ellie just seemed to think she was untouchable. It makes you nervous sometimes. 

A large crash, accompanied by the sound of shattering glass made your eyes snap up to the window. 

“Ellie!” you called out, panic surging in your chest as you rushed forward and vaulted through the window, flicking your knife out in front of you. 

You run around the corner, halting your movement and groaning in frustration, tucking your knife back into your vest pocket. 

Ellie looked over at you, looking momentarily surprised at your presence. 

“Well, well. Proving me wrong, look at you, Hardass,” she laughs as you glare at her. Your eyes flick over to the source of the noise; an overturned cabinet, and the remains of a broken mirror littering the floor. 

“Funny,” you scoff, turning to look at the room. You had to admit, it was sort of fun to explore. It was even more appealing when you weren’t supposed to be in here. The building hadn’t been cleared, and you and Ellie were only assigned a routine patrol. One that most certainly did not involve a rendezvous in a likely clicker-infested building. You did your best to push down your urge to look around, remembering your responsibilities. 

“I only came in here because I thought you were getting munched. Not to entertain one of your idiotic exploration schemes,” you tell her, watching as she shifts through one of the cupboards in the kitchenette. 

“It’s not idiotic. Me and you can handle a few clickers. And don’t tell me you’re actually scared of this building, because I know you don’t scare off that easily,” she says over her shoulder. You just sigh in response. 

“Not the point, Ellie. We have patrol, we have somewhere to be. Besides, we’re not even supposed to be in here,” you walk over to her, your eyes scanning the mostly-empty cupboard. 

She turns to face you then, and you can see that she’s completely unfazed by your little lecture. 

“Oh, come on. Like you always want to do exactly what you’re supposed to do,” she says down to you, her eyes searching yours. You see her lips turning up into a smile at your lack of a response, and you flush. 

“Again. Not the point,” you argue, but the longer you look at her face, the more you feel yourself giving in. 

“We don’t even know what we’re getting into. This place isn’t cleared out, there could be a whole horde of clickers waiting for us down there,” you say, glancing over at the door that leads out into the hallway. 

“I’ve been here before. Nothing much to worry about, I told you,” she reassures you, and you squint at her in suspicion. 

“When have you been here before?” you ask her, and she smirks, raising her eyebrows and simply shrugging in response. 

“Oh, okay. I see how it is. Fine, keep your secrets. I think I already know when you’ve been here,” you say, waving her off and circling around to the old bed frame, flicking open the side-table drawer. 

“Okay, sure. I’ll bite. Let’s hear your best theory,” she nods at you, and leans against the doorframe with her arms crossed casually across her chest. You force yourself to ignore the cocky confidence of her position.

“I think,” you say, closing the drawer with a soft thud. 

“I think this is where you bring all the ladies,” you joke, fighting off a smile as she chuckles. 

“Yeah. You got me. But just the really, really hot ones,” she says, watching as you fight to keep your face neutral. 

“Okay. Flattery will get you nowhere, but nice try. Real cute. We should go,” you say, trying to sound firm. In reality, her joke had made your heart flutter in your chest, and you would probably do anything she asked you to. 

“Nowhere?” she asks, raising her eyebrows and stepping closer to you. 

“Ellie, I’m serious,” your words break as you laugh. She slides her hand around your waist and gently tugs you closer. 

“Please?” she asks you softly, her breath tickling against your cheek. You look up at the ceiling, at the yellowed and peeling paint. You sigh dramatically. 

“God, fine. But seriously, Maria can never know. Promise?” you ask, your hand reaching up to tug gently on the strings of her hoodie. 

“Promise,” she mumbles, drawing back and pulling you along with her towards the door. She eases it open quietly, and you both peek your heads out into the hallway. It’s dim, and dingey. Almost creepy. But at the same time, the long hallway only seemed to beckon you forwards. What did you have to lose anyways? You doubted a few clickers would ruin your mood. 

***

“Fuck,” Ellie grunts, resting her hands on her knees as she hunches over. You stand in front of the now dead bloater, wrinkling your nose up in disgust at the sight. 

“Well. We kind of had that one coming,” you say, wiping the sweat from your brow. You look down at your pants, the canvas stained with the blood of the infected you had taken out. Ellie straightens back up, looking from you to the many corpses collapsed onto the floor and laughing. 

“What a fucking mess. Nice work though,” she says, raising her hand for a high five. You roll your eyes, but you can’t help but slap her hand. She takes the opportunity to clasp your fingers together, and you shake your head, pulling out of her grip. 

“Have you seen enough?” you ask, looking around the room. The old lobby of the hotel is ultimately trashed, but you can picture how nice it might have been before, especially without the corpses of the infected littering the carpet. There’s a chandelier hanging from the ceiling, the base of it stemming with cracks in the plaster. Stained and rotting furniture litters the room, although you assume they used to be beautiful pieces. 

“It’s pretty cool. I mean, it’s a total shitthole. But I can see the charm,” you admit, smiling softly as you turn back to her. 

“Yeah,” she agrees. You step closer to her, taking her face into your hands. 

“You got a little something there,” you say, scrunching up your nose and wiping the splatter of blood off of her cheekbone with your sleeve. You rest your hand to cup her jaw, swiping your thumb across her skin. 

You smile softly at the subtle pink that dusts her cheeks, leaning in slightly to rest your forehead against hers as you let your eyelids drift shut.

“Good teamwork,” you mutter. 

Her hands flutter against your ribs for a moment before you pull back gently, turning towards one of the tall windows. The glass is long-since shattered, but the view is still gorgeous; the afternoon sun pours in, and you watch as swirls of dust move slowly through the still air. 

“I guess that was enough exploring for one day,” she sighs from behind you, her fingertips brushing yours as she comes to stand beside you. 

“You know, if anyone else had asked me to come in here, I think I would’ve said no and left,” you say, shaking your head and letting out a small huff of amusement. 

“Why didn’t you?” Ellie asks, her head tilted slightly to the side as she studies your expression. 

“You always come with me,”  she continues, a soft smile curving her lips.

“Only because it’s you,” you meant to say this jokingly, but you surprise yourself with how genuine the words sound. Although, you supposed it was true enough. Nobody else could convince you to take the risks, to break the rules quite like Ellie could. 

“Why?” she asks you, and you look over at the subtle smirk she wears. 

“You know why,” you say, trying to fight the smile threatening to break out across your features. 

“Maybe,” she agrees, her fingers grazing your elbow as she turns herself to face you. 

You don’t respond, instead just admiring the way the sunlight kisses her features, the way it seems to brighten the rouge tones of her hair. You want to reach forward, to trace the slope of her nose, and to brush one of your hands through her hair. 

You clear your throat softly, forcing yourself to tear your gaze away from the girl in front of you. Despite the gore of the past hour, despite the infected that you had taken down in this very room, something about the way you felt in this moment made you want to spill out all of your feelings, all of your desires. You had thought about it many times; you and Ellie were great friends. But there was something more beneath the surface of your friendship that had been drawing you in for months. You just couldn’t quite push yourself to act on it. 

But what time was better than now? Who knows how much longer you had in this world. Why waste any longer shying away from whatever this thing was between you?

“Look, Ellie. I don’t want to be too forward. Or to screw up any of this,” you say, gesturing between the two of you. Her brows raise slightly in surprise. 

“I just. I’ve had this sort of feeling. For a while now. And I don’t want to scare you off. But there’s just this thing with you. I do stupid things. Risky, dangerous, idiotic things. Things I shouldn’t do. And I think sometimes that I would do anything for you, no matter how stupid it might be. And I’ve never felt that way about anyone,” you say, the words rushing out quickly as you try to keep up with the thoughts running through your head. 

“I know,” she says, and you frown softly. That’s all she was going to say? 

You open your mouth to protest, but the words die on the tip of your tongue as Ellie’s lips brush against yours. 

Oh. 

“I like when we do stupid things together,” she whispers, her hand curving over your jaw and leading you back towards her lips. 

The sun is beginning to set in the distance as you sit with Ellie underneath a tree, watching the rest of Jackson get settled in for the evening.

“You’re not serious,” Ellie says, her lips parting in shock as she stares at you. Your face flushes, and you shrug your shoulders defensively. 

“Why would I be joking about that? This whole conversation is embarrassing. I don’t even know why we’re talking about this,” you sigh, looking anywhere but her face.

“It’s not embarrassing. I just, you know. I sort of assumed you would have already,” she says, and you can feel her eyes on you. 

“Okay. In my defense, there aren’t really all that many candidates,” you say, and she laughs in response. 

“Oh, whatever. Are you telling me that you’ve never met anyone worthy of your first kiss?” she smirks, and you roll your eyes in her direction.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” you say, thinking of how you can change the subject. 

“You know, I always figured you and Jesse might have had a thing, before he and Dina got together,” she says, and you snort. 

“I’ll take that as a no,” she laughs.

“Jesse… is not exactly my type.” you say, not wanting to overshare. She raises an eyebrow, and you know right then that she is going to hound you.

“No? What is your type then?” she asks, a playful look in her eyes. 

“Okay, no. We don’t need to get into that,” you say, waving off the question. 

“Why not? Now I’m curious,” she says, bumping your knee with hers. 

“I don’t know,” you say, even though you sort of did. It wasn’t like a relationship was high on your list of priorities- you hadn’t really explored at all. You weren’t exactly sure how to distinguish between platonic and romantic feelings. Ellie was a consistent factor in your life, and you were drawn to her. But did that mean she was your type? You weren’t quite sure. 

“Well, how was your first kiss? Since you’re such a pro,” you ask, and she smiles softly. 

“It was pretty great. As far as first kisses go,” she says, and you almost see a sadness in her eyes. 

“You gotta have a good first kiss. It’s a milestone, or something stupid,” she says, and you laugh.

“Okay, fine. We just need to find some poor soul to kiss me and get it over with,” you say, running the names of different Jackson kids your age through your mind. You came up with nothing but blanks, cringing to yourself at the lack of options. Ellie lists a few names out loud, and you fake gag, shaking your head. 

“Okay. I think I know why you haven’t kissed anyone. It’s because you’re so damn picky,” she teases you. 

“You’re giving me terrible suggestions. I don’t like any of those people. And I definitely don’t trust them enough to not make fun of me for my delayed timing,” you shake your head. 

A thought pops into your head just then. Maybe it was a terrible idea. 

But maybe it was just crazy enough to make perfect sense. You turn your head to face Ellie, bumping her shoulder with yours. 

“I have an idea,” you say, and she looks at you blankly for a moment, before catching your gaze on her. She furrowed her eyebrows, realizing what you were insinuating.

“Are you kidding?” she asks, just looking at you. You don’t say anything, still looking at her.

“That’s a terrible idea,” she says, shaking her head. 

“No, it’s kind of perfect. I trust you, and you already know my big dark secret and my lack of first kiss experience. So it’s not like I need to worry about being even more embarrassed than I already am,” you say, looking at her for approval. She groans. 

“Okay, fine. I’ll do it,” she says, and you think your heart skips a beat. It didn’t take as much convincing as you thought, and you were sort of joking. Your thoughts began to backpedal, and you feel nervous as you sit next to her. It was just Ellie. It wasn’t like you had a reason to feel quite so flustered. 

“Okay,” you say, looking at her with wide eyes. She chuckles a little at your expression. 

“Look if you don’t actually want to, I have no judgement. This is all on your terms,” she says, trying to keep a straight face. 

“I know,” you say, shifting yourself so that you face her. Your gaze flicks down to her lips, and you wonder if it’s possible to kiss someone wrong. It must be. But how did people know what to do? It’s not like there was a manual to this type of thing. Oh god. What if you were a horrible kisser? 

“I can see you overthinking this right now,” she says as you lean closer to her, despite the thoughts jumbling around your mind. 

“It’s just me. You don’t have to be nervous,” she says, cupping your cheek with her hand. The subtle touch makes your heart rate pick up even more. You lean forward, connecting your lips with hers. For one horrifying moment you can’t help but feel panicked, though the stress seems to erase from your thoughts as she moves her lips against yours. You reach a hand up, wrapping it around her neck and feeling her cropped hair tickle against your fingertips. You pull her closer gently, your heart pounding as you realize you might be enjoying this more than you should be. 

She pulls away then, her lips slightly parted, her cheeks painted a pretty pink color. Her hand still rests against your jaw, and you realize yours is still wrapped around her neck. But you don’t really feel like pulling away from her touch just yet. 

“Congrats. First kiss, accomplished,” she says, a little breathlessly as she looks at you with wide eyes. You smile, her eyes still trapped on yours. 

“What did you think?” she asks you, almost hesitantly. 

“I don’t have anything to compare to, but I think that was kind of good,” you say honestly, swallowing nervously. Good was an understatement. But were friends supposed to like kissing each other? Was it normal to feel this sort of wanting for your best friend?

“So. Hit me. Am I a horrible kisser or something? You look a little spooked right now,” you joke, trying to lighten the tension you felt. She seems to realize her hand is still resting against your jaw, lowering it back to her lap. 

“Not horrible. Not horrible at all,” she says, and you wonder if the kiss affected her in the way it seemed to affect you. You pull your hand away from her neck, fiddling with the blades of grass in front of you. 

“You better not be lying to me right now,” you say, and she smiles. 

“I’m your best friend. I wouldn’t lie to you,” she says, though she doesn’t quite look like herself. 

“Look, we better get going if we want to make it for dinner,” she stands up quickly. You scramble up from your spot against the tree, following after her. She walks ahead of you, and you can see her rubbing her fingers together nervously. 

“Ellie,” you call out, grabbing her hand. She turns back to you, glancing down at your joined hands. 

You step closer to her then, and she watches you reach a hand forward, tucking a piece of her hair out of her face. You look at each other for a moment, the sunset now painting pretty pastels against the sky behind her. 

This time, she is the one to connect your lips, and you feel your stress melt away. She curls her hand under your shirt to rest against the small of your back, pulling you closer. You break apart from the kiss, breathing heavily. She scans your eyes, looking for any sign of regret in your expression. Her hand is warm, her fingers softly indenting your skin. She seems to flush even more then. 

“Look, I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have-” she starts, and you cut off her words, pressing another soft kiss against her lips. She leans into the kiss again.

“Don’t be sorry,” you whisper against her lips. 

“Because I'm not,” you continue, grabbing her hand and intertwining your fingers. You steer her in the direction of the diner, her cheeks still dusted with pink. She looks a bit shocked at your reaction, but you just watch her shake her head and smile softly. 

“I have a lot of firsts to get through, you know,” you say, and she laughs then. 

“Alright, cool it there, hotshot,” she says, though you can’t help but notice the glint in her eyes; you don’t doubt that you’ll get to those sooner or later.

The snow crunches beneath your boots, the subtle light of the moon illuminating the forest around you. You have no idea what time it is, but you know it’s late. Your eyelids have begun to feel heavier, each step forward seeming to suck more energy out of you. It’s quiet, the sounds of wind and running water somewhere off to your left the only sounds echoing throughout the night. You love nighttime in the winter. Even when the sun has long since set, the light of the moon reflecting off the snow still creates the illusion of light. The infected seemed to settle more with the cold, becoming less active as more snowfall covered the area.

Your drowsiness has begun to overcome you, but you welcome it with open arms. You always struggled with sleep, even after the most exhausting days. That was the whole reason why you were out here, while all the other citizens of Jackson were long since asleep in bed, away from the cold and the infected. Most nights went the same for you - most days as well, for that matter. You went out on patrol. You forced down some food, if you remembered to grab any. You tried to block out the pain of your memories by busying yourself with chores and assisting people in town with various projects. It helped, and you enjoyed the days far more than you enjoyed the nights. But when night fell, and it always did, the rest of Jackson, aside from the guards at the entrances, turned out their lights and the town drifted into a silence far too loud for you to bear.

You remember your first few months in Jackson, when you would simply lie awake in the safety of your small home and try to will your thoughts to quiet down enough for you to get some rest. It had never really worked. You might have got a few hours of sleep a night, if luck was on your side. But mostly you sat in your bed while the wounds of your past festered and made you shake with frustration and grief. You would emerge from your home once the clock hit five in the morning, when it was more acceptable for you to wander around Jackson or go speak to the guards, sometimes swapping them out. That routine had worked for a while, but the few friends you had in Jackson didn’t take long to realize that something was off. Your appearance probably gave you away - dark bags had become a permanent feature of your face, your eyes were usually puffy and bloodshot, and your hands had taken on a prominent shake that you couldn’t hide.

Nobody commented out of politeness for a while, and you preferred it that way. After several months of this, you had taken to sitting out on your front porch during the sunrise, and found the person living in the house across from yours had formed a similar habit.

You would take a mug of hot water out on the porch, and watch as the sun bled into the sky, signaling the rise of the rest of Jackson. After a few weeks of keeping the same routine, you decided one morning to raise a hand in greeting to the man across the street, the one you saw sipping from his own mug each day like clockwork. He nodded to you politely, and you carried on with your morning. After a couple more weeks of friendly nods and waves, you decided to approach him and introduce yourself. He was older, his beard dusted with silver and white streaks. He reminded you briefly of your own father the last time you had seen him.

That was how you met Joel. You would often join him over on his porch each morning, mostly enjoying the sunrise in silence. Eventually, you formed a friendship of sorts. He even offered you a mug of his precious coffee he had traded for.

It was nice, getting to know someone around town. But it didn’t really change things. After a few months of this shared routine, of each day a dull carbon copy of the last, something inside you just cracked. You just couldn’t keep doing it anymore. That was when you started sneaking over to the east wall each evening, beginning your daily solo venture beyond the walls of Jackson. If Joel knew, he would probably tell you it was stupid. And risky. But what Joel didn’t know certainly wouldn’t hurt him.

Tonight, you had walked to the old boarded up library and spent the hours of the night choosing out different books for your next few visits. You change up your location every few weeks, but the library is nice. It’s entertaining, and reading the books is a welcome distraction from your thoughts, bringing you a small sense of peace as you wait the passing hours until sunrise.

It has worked itself into an almost daily routine. By the time you get back to the east wall, it’s usually around four in the morning. Each time, you silently haul yourself up one of the big pine trees and scale the rest of your way down the wall. Nobody ever lurked around this edge of town this late, giving you a discrete entrance and exit point for your little outings. You had been doing this for months. You count six total on your fingers. That sounded right. This new routine helps you relax, helps you to escape the trapped and anxious feeling that often weighs upon you when sleep abandons you.

The east wall becomes visible in the distance, and you trudge the rest of the way there. The climb up the tree is especially difficult tonight, the cold making your hands particularly numb and stiff. You scrape them to shit amongst the sharp branches, gritting your teeth at the sting. Whoops. You regret staying out so long, but you had lost track of time exploring the library. You heaved yourself over the top of the fence, dropping down into a crouch. You reach your arms out, shaking the stiffness out of your limbs. It’s so nice to finally feel tired.

You head back towards your house, watching the snow come down to settle over Jackson. It’s peaceful to see the town so quiet this time of day, your fatigue strong enough to relax you. At the same time, there’s something almost eerie about it, but you don’t mind. You creak open your front door, kicking off your boots and extra layers before settling in your bed, praying for at least a few hours of decent sleep.

***

You wake up with your head and heart pounding, scrubbing at your cheeks with your palms. A now-forgotten nightmare still lingered in the anxiety crushing down on your chest, and you let out a shaky breath. You get ready for the day, grabbing your mug to take out on the porch. When you open the door, the sight of the sun beginning to rise up over the row of homes greets you.

Joel is already seated on his own steps, and you can see the cloud of his breaths puffing out into the brisk morning air. He glances over as your door knocks shut in the frame, and you raise your usual hand in a hello, heading in his direction.

“Morning, kid,” he calls out as you approach him, settling yourself down on the bottom step. You clasp the warm mug between your hands, letting the warmth seep in.

“Hey, old man,” you say back with a sleepy smile. The morning goes similarly to the rest. You chat with Joel for a while before heading back to your own place, feeling content enough to face another day. Once you get cleaned up, you head out for your daily patrol shift with your bag slung across you back.

*** The day passes with a blur, just like all the others. You try to enjoy the light and the company around you, but there’s a numbness to everything, just like there always is. The sun sinks lower and lower in the sky, and you find yourself dreading nightfall once again.

***

Before you know it, the streets of Jackson are quiet and dark once again. Beggining your usual affairs, you skirt out the door, heading for the east wall again. You glance over at Joel’s place on your way by, and notice that the light in the garage is still on. His kid, Ellie, must still be up. You’d met her briefly a few times, and crossed paths occasionally. She is a year older than you, and you liked her just fine. But you weren’t really in the right headspace to form friendships this past while. That’s why your best and only friend is an old man, though it’s a thought that makes you chuckle softly to yourself.

***

Ellie groans in frustration, balling up another page from her sketchbook and tossing it into the bin. She couldn’t sleep tonight. Patrol had been busier than normal, getting her all riled up after a run in with a few infected. She glares out the window, watching the snow feather down from the sky. She sits there for a while, thinking about different things she could sketch. She thinks about all the things she had planned to do tomorrow, going through a quick mental checklist. Flexing her fingers, she couldn’t shake the antsy feeling. About to turn her attention back to her sketch, she stills when a movement across the road captures her attention. She watches as you emerge from your home, closing the door behind you. You glance cautiously around the row of houses before sneaking away down the street.

What the hell? Ellie looks down at her watch. Why were you leaving your house at midnight? She knows Joel cares about you, but she doesn’t know much else about you. Nobody seemed to. She peers through the window, catching a final glimpse of your jacket.

She can’t sleep anyways. What’s the harm in investigating?

*** You hop the wall, heading on towards the library for the second night in a row. You keep an ear out for infected, but you were looking forward to settling in the library and cracking open one of the books you had set aside the previous night. You were going to work your way through a set you had found in the section labelled as ‘classics’.

You didn’t recognize the names, but you hadn’t expected to. You squeeze in through an old broken window on the main level, leaving the front door chained and undisturbed. Patrols still came through the area frequently, and you didn’t want to leave any obvious trace of your presence. Nobody really had reason to sneak out of Jackson, other than for a few nights out to party each month. You didn’t really worry about getting caught, but you did your best to avoid it.

The library is dark, but you navigate your way over to the staircase with ease, going up to the second level. After so many nights here, you were starting to know it like the back of your hand. You walk over to one of the seating areas, reaching underneath it and pulling out your personally selected stack of books. You grab the top one, tracing your finger over the author’s name. Jane Austen. You might as well start with this one. You get a few pages through it before you hear a bang echo through the library. You shoot to your feet, grabbing your knife and abandoning the book on the stained chair. You creep along the staircase, mouth open in shock as you see a very not-infected figure standing opposite you.

“Hey,” she says, breathing heavily, one hand holding on to the strap of the backpack across her shoulders. A mess of books is now scattered in front of the staircase, where she had apparently knocked over one of your selected stacks.

“Oh, sorry,” she huffs out in laughter, reaching down clumsily to stack them back up.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you ask, accusingly, your eyes narrowing at her. You fold up the blade in your hand, tucking it back into your coat pocket.

“You scared the shit out of me,” you tell her, irritation evident in your tone.

She looks at you wide eyed, gesturing at you.

“What am I doing here? What the fuck are you doing out here?” she asks, eyebrows furrowing in suspicion.

You open your mouth, trying to come up with an answer.

“Sometimes I can’t sleep, so I walk. So what?” you counter defensively, crossing your arms and shrugging.

She just hums in response, nodding her head as she looks around the dark library. She flicks her flashlight on, scanning the upstairs.

“Why the library?” she asks you, heading past you to go up the stairs.

“Uh,” you don’t answer her right away, still taken aback by her presence.

“Did you follow me here?” you climb up the stairs behind her, struggling to catch up with her quick pace.

‘Yeah,” she admits, shrugging her shoulders.

“So? Why here?” She asks you again, turning to face you.

“I don’t know. I like books. It’s quiet, and there’s usually no infected in this area. I just thought it was as good a place as any,” you mumble.

“It’s pretty dumb, you know,” she told you, throwing a glance at your over her shoulder.

“Coming out here by yourself. In the dark. Do you even bother to tell anyone when you leave?” she asks, though the accusatory tone had now faded away into genuine curiosity.

You look down at your fingers with a gentle sigh, picking at the cuticles of your nails.

“I don’t really have anyone to tell. So, it doesn’t matter either way,” you say, crossing your arms and watching her as she runs a finger along the old bookshelves. She stops, laughing out loud, the sound cutting through the air. She grabs a book from the shelf, the front cover ripped a little and worn with age.

“This is a good one,” she abruptly tosses it in your direction.

You catch it instinctively, looking up at her in confusion. She nods down at your hand, the comic now curled into a scroll-like shape in your grip.

You sigh softly, shaking your head in mild amusement. You barely know this girl. Why would she care enough to follow you out here in the dead of night?

Your eyes widen and you let out a soft giggle, looking down at the comic.

“You read this stuff?” you ask, pressing your lips together to avoid laughing again.

“Yeah, I do. Something funny about that?” she asks you in a mock serious tone. You flip through it briefly, your eyes scanning through the busy illustrations and blocky text.

“Nope,” you say, looking at her with your eyebrows raised, though a huff of amusement escapes your lips. You cover your mouth with your hand momentarily, laughing even more.

“I’m sorry,” you say between breaths of laughter.

“I just wouldn’t have pegged you as someone to read comic books,” you tell her, and she fakes an offended expression.

“Okay, Fancy-pants. What do you read then?” she asks you, gesturing to the shelves.

“Go on, pick me something. You read mine, I read yours. And I better be impressed,” she looks at you, waiting for a response.

“Seriously?” you ask her. She just nods firmly in response. You glance around the dark library, feeling oddly like someone just waltzed into your home uninvited. But- you were kind of excited?

“Yes, seriously. I’ll wait,” she plunks down into the chair you were lounging in earlier, making a face and grabbing your abandoned book from beneath her.

You scan the shelves, looking for something suitable. If she liked fast-paced comics, she would probably fall asleep reading any sort of classic or history novel. You smile to yourself as you searched the shelves, looking for the horror section.

“Are you kidding me? You judge me for Savage Starlight, but you’re the one reading this snoozy romance garbage,” she calls out to you from the chair, where she has your Jane Austen book propped open on her knee.

You scoff in offense, popping your head out from behind the shelf to face her.

“Excuse you,” you say.

“It’s not snoozy. It’s a classic,” you defend it weakly. In all honesty, it wasn’t exactly a page turner so far.

She laughs at that, muttering the word ‘classic’ under her breath.

“And romance isn’t garbage,” you continue, your eyes scanning the slim pickings of the horror section.

“Are you a cornball?” she asks you. You don’t answer, eyes still searching for a suitable read to give her.

“You’re definitely a cornball,” she says, her laugh rasping throughout the room.

“I’m not a cornball. There’s nothing wrong with a little romance. I need to live vicariously through someone,” you tell her. A title catches your eye, and you hold it up victoriously.

“This,” you announce, walking over to her seated position in your chair.

She glances up, snatching it from your hands. You cast the flashlight beam down on it, letting her look.

“The Talisman,” she reads out, looking up at you, seemingly unimpressed.

“This better not be a romance book,” she warns. You laugh.

“It’s not. It’s Stephen King. My dad told me about his books. When he was a kid, he read a bunch of them. Mostly horror novels, this one doesn’t sound scary, though,” you say.

You haven’t read this one before. You wonder if your dad ever did. Your heart tugs in your chest at the thought of him, but you push it down. He had been taken from you a long time ago, but you feel like a piece of you had died with him.

She hums, turning it over to read the description.

“Fine, this will do,” she relaxes back into the chair, opening it to the first page. She fumbles with the flashlight on her backpack, which is now tucked on the floor with the poor Jane Austen book. She unclips the flashlight, pointing it down on the yellowed pages of The Talisman.

She looks over at you, scrunching up her nose and letting her eyes fall on the comic still in your hand.

“Less staring, more reading,” she says, winking at you. You scoff in response, your cheeks flushing with mild embarrassment. You hadn’t even been staring at her, not really.

Flopping down onto the ground beside her chair, you groan as your eyes scan the first page of Savage Starlight.

***

You aren’t sure how long it has been, but your neck aches slightly as a result of your scrunched position. You made it a few millimeters through Savage Starlight, and are a little ashamed to admit that you’re enjoying it so far. You stretch out your neck, rubbing your hand against it.

You glance up at Ellie, who sits with a concentrated look on her face, eyes scanning the page in front of her. You smile to yourself as you notice the furrow of her brow. You wonder if she likes the book so far. You let your eyes trace her features, looking at her closely for the first time. Freckles dust her face, though they are difficult to see in the darkness. Her hair falls, shifting forward as she adjusts her position, the strands framing her face.

She glances over at you, a smile tugging up the corner of her lips. She looks down at the comic in your hand.

“So?” she asks, brows raised in question.

You let out a breath.

“Don’t let it get to your head,” you say, and she laughs.

“Too late. And I told you,” she says smugly, nodding her head in satisfaction.

“How is it?” you ask, looking down at the book resting in her lap.

“It’s actually not bad so far,” she says, yawning softly. You feel your own yawn building as you watch her.

“You tired? We should probably head back soon,” you say, looking down at the comic somewhat wistfully. You didn’t really want to leave just yet, but your eyelids were beginning to feel heavy. You couldn’t remember the last time you had enjoyed yourself like you had been these last few hours. It was nice to have company.

“A little,” she admits, flicking off her flashlight and stretching her arms behind her head. You stand, legs stiff from sitting for so long.

You tuck the comic into your bag, reaching over to grab Ellie’s book from her lap.

She stands up from the chair, brushing dust off of her jeans.

“Shall we?” she asks, and you nod, holding your flashlight out to illuminate the stairs. She follows you out of the library, and you converse back and forth about the different characters of Savage Starlight. You compared your favorite characters and discussed the parts you had read so far.

“Look, I can’t say anything about that because it would spoil the next one,” she says to you.

“But I will say, it picks up right after that one. There might be a little cliffhanger though,” she told you, rubbing her hands together to fight off the cold. The snow crunches beneath your boots, and your face stings slightly in the cold air.

“You have a decent amount left to read before you’re done that one though,” she says, referring to the comic tucked into your bag.

You nod in acknowledgement, and the familiar lights of Jackson became visible ahead.

“You know,” she says, turning her face towards you as she walks.

“We could always come back out tomorrow night,” she suggests nonchalantly. You look over at her, a bit surprised.

“Really? You want to come back out?”

“Well, yeah. Did you see that fat ass book? Might take me a while to get through it. Besides, you’re actually not the worst company in all of Jackson. Surprisingly enough,” she says, and you scoff, lightly shoving her shoulder. She laughs, and you find yourself laughing as well.

“Okay,” you agreed.

“Tomorrow then,” you say, feeling lighter for the first time in months.

note: part 2 is now up!

You jog over to the front gate, grabbing your gear and going to stand next to Dina. You took a moment to catch your breath, listening to Jesse list off the assignments.

“Morning,” Dina says, eyeing you with a smile.

“Late start today?” she asks.

“You could say that,” you said, crossing your arms. You tuned out Jesse’s voice for the next few minutes, wishing you could go back to sleep, crashing on Ellie’s couch like you had been just a few minutes earlier. But here you were- morning patrol. Just wonderful.

“We’re doing creek trail again,” she tells you, and you nod. It was your usual route together, and you liked it most days. You worked well with Dina, so naturally, that helped.

Jesse called out the final assignment, sending off the patrols. Dina handed you the reins to your horse, pulling her own ahead.

“Hi, Shimmer,” you say softly, coaxing her forward towards the gate.

“Hey, is that Ellie’s sweater?” Dina asks you. You freeze for a moment, eyes widening.

“No,” you say, a little too quickly.

“Mhm.” She says, clearly not buying your answer. You pull yourself atop Shimmer’s back, following after Dina. It was a relatively nice day. Infected numbers had been lowering this past while, and you allowed yourself to enjoy the subtle breeze as leaves crunched beneath Shimmer’s hooves. You looked around you, admiring the pleasant warm tones of the changing trees. Before long, it would be winter again, and patrol would be significantly less enjoyable.

“Hey, you have to patrol again with Jesse tomorrow, right?” Dina calls back to you.

“Yep, afternoon send-off,” you say. Jesse was a cool guy. He was good company, and he spoke highly of Dina, which you respected. You had known Dina for a long time, and she was one of the few consistent people in your life. She was practically family.

“Listen, I’m technically scheduled to be with Ellie tomorrow, but maybe…?” she trails off, and you flush at the mention of Ellie.

“You want to swap me,” you finish for her, and she turns to give you a bright smile.

“Well, only since you offered.” she says, and you snort.

“Fine, but you owe me,” you say, scanning the trail around you.

“Maybe I should tell Jesse to grow a pair while I’m at it,” you say, and she laughs loudly.

“It would save me so much energy if he would just schedule the two of you together in the first place,” you complain.

“Exactly! I think he’s just trying not to be too pushy,” she defends him, and you shrug.

“You know. If anything, this is a win-win situation. I don’t think I really owe you anything ,” she says with amusement.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, nothing. Just thought that maybe you were a little quick to agree once you heard it would be with Ellie,” she says, twisting back towards you slightly and giving you a knowing look.

“Oh, shut up,” you dismiss her, and she only laughs more.

“I know her pretty well,” Dina says, more serious now.

“She seems happier around you. And I feel like you’ve been more yourself these past few months then you have in years,” she tells you with a soft smile. You think for a moment.

“I feel more like myself. It feels like all that shit you and I went through before we got here, was all meant to lead us here,” you say.

“I care about her, a lot. But I’m not going to push her into anything. Even if it never goes beyond friendship, it wouldn’t matter, not really. I’d rather that than lose her, you know?” you say, and Dina nods in response.

“I get it. I do,” she says, and you wait for her to continue.

“But time is precious in this world. You of all people know that,” she says, and you know she’s right. You felt like there was something more with Ellie, but you could never work up the courage to actually act on your feelings. If she didn’t reciprocate, it could ruin your friendship. But if she did… it would change a lot of things.

“Yeah. You’re right, I know you are. It’s just complicated. And you’re one to talk. You and Jesse should be dating already,” you say, and she chuckles.

“Okay. Compromise. I figure things out with Jesse, and you figure them out with Ellie. Everybody wins,” she says, and you scoff.

“Well look at you, you little optimist,” you say, urging Shimmer forward.

“Fine,” you say, nodding to her in agreement.

“We figure it out.”

***

You groan, dropping your bag down beside the door. You and Dina had wrapped up patrol, your mind now focused on your pact. You paced the room for a few minutes, trying to walk off your nerves. You shouldn’t be this worried. You knew Ellie like the back of your hand. Worst case scenario, you pull off the whole thing as a joke and move on. You let out one final breath before walking out the door and towards Ellie’s place. No time like the present, you thought to yourself.

You walk quickly through the street, waving polite hello to the people you pass. You can see the building come into view, cursing softly to yourself before turning back around to walk in the other direction. You make it a few steps before you decide to turn back one last time. You were doing this, now. You Look down at your hands as you walk, rubbing your fingers anxiously.

You look up and freeze when you hear your name called from behind you.

Shit.

“Hey,” you say, breathlessly, turning to face her. Her eyes scan your face, and she frowns softly.

“Why are you making that face? What’s going on?” she asks, taking a step closer to you, brushing her fingers lightly over your elbow. You try to ignore her touch, hesitating before answering her.

“Nothing. Just going for a walk,” you say, trying to push down your stress. Maybe this was a bad time. You had expected to see her at her place, to go in and talk to her. You had created a very specific plan in your head and bumping into her on the street was not part of it.

“Right,” she says, walking past you for a moment before she realizes you haven’t moved to follow her.

She turns back towards you, gesturing for you to catch up. You do, walking beside her.

“Okay, seriously. You’re freaking me out. What’s happening right now?” she asks, and you can’t help but cringe silently before speaking again.

“Nothing is happening. I was actually heading over to see you,” you say, trying to sound casual.

“Okay, sure,” she says, walking across the lawn and pushing the door open. You follow her in, and she turns to look at you again.

“What’s on the agenda today? Movie? Reading? I don’t have to patrol for another few hours,” she tells you, dropping down into her desk chair. You don’t answer, watching as she swivels in the chair.

“Me and Joel are putting on this cheesy old movie tonight that he swears I’m gonna love. You should come,” she offers, shuffling around the papers littering the surface of the desk.

“Listen, Ellie,” you say, fiddling with the drawstrings of her gray sweatshirt you wore. She turns to face you.

“Honestly, I was coming to talk to you about something. But I don’t want it to sound weird or come out wrong,” you say, and she raises her eyebrows.

“Okay. Hit me,” she says, crossing her arms. You think she looks a bit nervous herself.

“It’s been really great. Spending time with you these past few months. And I don’t mean to smother you. I mean, I practically sleep on your couch every night and I think Joel is getting used to seeing me every day,” you blab.

“I just,” you stop then, unsure of what to say.

“Okay,” she says slowly, though a soft smirk is growing across her features.

“Look, I consider you one of my best friends. But, it’s different with you. It’s different from my friendship with Dina, or Jesse. I don’t want to read into something that isn’t there, but I just feel like this,” you say, gesturing between the two of you, “is different,” you finish, taking a moment to breathe and watch her reaction.

She shakes her head softly, and your heart sinks. She rises from the chair, stepping towards you. You instantly try to backpedal.

“Shit. That was weird. I didn't mean to just spring this on you. If anything, blame Dina because this whole thing was really her-” she cuts off your words, connecting your lips together.

You still for a moment, stunned, before leaning into the kiss, your mouth moving with hers. You can feel one of her hands grip your waist, the other curling across your back and drawing you in closer. You raise a hand, tentatively cupping her jaw. She hums softly into your mouth, before you draw back slightly, her arms still wrapped firmly around you.

“Oh,” you say, and she chuckles.

“Stay over again tonight,” she says softly, and you smile, nodding before curling your hand around the back of her neck, pulling her towards you again.

“You don’t have to crash on the couch this time,” she whispers against your lips.

“You having some trouble there?” an amused voice calls out. Your eyes widen in surprise, and you groan under your breath at being caught.

“No?” you call out hesitantly, turning to watch Ellie head towards you, a smirk displayed on her freckled face.

“Don’t,” you say, fighting a smile of your own.

“Don’t what?” she asks, playing dumb.

“Don’t walk over here and make fun of me,” you call, tilting your head back in a dramatic groan.

She snickers then, peering over the gate to look in at the horse.

“Hi, girl,” she coos to the animal, and you glare at her.

“Me and Shimmer go way back,” she says, playfully shoving you aside and walking into the stall.

“Ellie, seriously. She’s being really irritable today, I don’t want you to come out of there all beat up,” you say, and your concerned tone only makes her chuckle.

“Are you seriously worried about me right now? I might be touched if your little fear of horses wasn’t so pathetic,” xhd says as you step in the stall after her, punching her arm.

“Shut it, you,” you chastise her, glancing around the stables to make sure nobody heard her.

“Aw, what? Are you embarrassed? Of your irrational fear of this huge, violent, aggressive beast right here?” she says, her voice getting louder with each question.

“Ellie! I’m serious,” you say, pinching her arm.

“Ow,” she mumbles, rubbing the spot you pinched.

“Fine. But you really do need to get over that. Especially since you’re coming out on patrol with me in an hour,” she tells you, and your eyes nearly bug out of your skull.

“What?” you ask her, panic evident in your tone. You had done nearby patrol dozens of times, but you always went on foot since you weren’t traveling far enough to require a horse. You looked over at the horse, feeling more stressed the longer you watched her.

“You’re kidding,” you say, turning your gaze to Ellie. She grits her teeth, shaking her head and fighting the urge to laugh.

“It’s gonna be fine. I’ll be with you the whole time, we can share a horse for this first time,” she shrugs off your concern, turning back towards the horse in front of you.

“Hey girl,” she says softly, running a hand over the nose of the horse gently. After a few minutes, she seems to calm down, and Ellie picks up the reins, handing them off to you.

“Come here,” she says to you, and you approach her stiffly, your body language giving away your discomfort. You brush against her side, looking up at her for further direction.

“Here, give me your hand,” she says, and you groan in response.

“Ellie,” you whine, and she chuckles at your dismay.

“Don’t you trust me?” she asks you, and you nod, meeting her eyes and slowly extending your hand towards her. She reaches out, her calloused fingers brushing across the top of your hand. She guides it softly to the slope of Shimmer’s nose, her hand resting atop yours. You turn your gaze from Ellie’s soft smile to look over at Shimmer. She blinks slowly, leaning her nose against your hand. You let out a soft huff of excitement, looking back up to Ellie for approval. She nods, slowly removing her hand and leaving yours resting against the horse.

“There you go,” she praises, and you can’t help but let out a breath of relief. You relax into her touch as she lets her hand fall to rest casually across your hip.

“I guess this isn't so bad,” you admit, nudging Ellie’s chin and tucking your head against her shoulder as you draw your hand back carefully from the horse.

“Told you so,” she mumbles against your hair, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head and pulling you back out of the stall. You smile, watching her grab the saddle from its hanging position on the wall and prepping Shimmer for the patrol ahead.

“Any idea where we’re headed out today?” you ask her, and she shakes her head, securing the saddle in place.

“Not sure yet, Jesse didn’t say. We’ll have to head out front for assignments in a few minutes,” she tells you, running a hand over Shimmer’s back. You lean your arms over the wooden gate separating you and nod.

“It’ll be a further route than normal for you, though,” she warns you, eyes flicking up to yours, watching for your reaction.

“Yeah, I figured,” you say softly, pushing your hair out of your face.

“You good with that?” she asks you, and you nod quickly. You’d gotten comfortable in Jackson. Really comfortable. You had friends, friends you considered family. You could actually sleep at night without fear of being killed in your sleep. Before you got to Jackson, you had been traveling solo for a while. It had been rough, and it had taken a lot of time for you to get back to yourself. When it came to going out beyond the walls again, you knew you could handle it, of course you could. It just brought you a little extra stress. Ellie knew all of this, of course, and she smiled softly.

“I know you can handle your own out there, but I’ll be there if anything happens. Besides, we make an alright team,” she teases, and you can’t help but let a smile take over your worried expression. It wasn’t that you were scared of infected; although you were always cautious of them, it was the living that you feared.

“I’ll be fine. And it does,” you say, clearing your throat.

“It helps that you’ll be there,” you say, cringing at how cheesy your words sound. You expect her to poke fun at you, but she doesn’t. She just taps your arm, indicating for you to step away from the gate as she walks through, leading Shimmer forward with the reins in one hand.

“Shall we?” she asks you, smirking. You walk with her towards the front gate and wait for the rest of the patrol groups to gather.

You chat on and off for a while, more and more pairs showing up and waiting for Jesse to arrive. You scoop up Ellie’s free hand, bringing it towards you. She looks at you in amused confusion, watching as you lift her hand up by the wrist. Your eyes trail over the lead smeared across the sides of her fingers, and you chuckle.

“You stayed up drawing last night?” you ask her, releasing her hand from your grasp. She attempts to wipe her hand on her jeans, with little luck.

“Mhm,” she says, examining the smears before shrugging.

“Couldn’t sleep,” she mutters, kicking at the ground. You want to ask what she had drawn, but before you have time to respond, Jesse’s voice calls out a good morning.

“Alright guys, you know the drill,” he says, reading through a list of groups and the corresponding locations. Your gaze snaps up as you hear your name called, followed by Ellie’s.

“You two, head out to lookout 3,” he calls out, and you nod. Apparently that one had a good view of the mountains, Tommy had been telling you about it the other day. You wondered if he had recommended Jesse send you out there. Tommy was a good guy, and he and Maria had welcomed you with open arms. You weren’t related, but they were the closest thing to family you had. You smiled softly to yourself at the thought. You should go over for dinner again soon; Maria had invited you a few times. You hadn't been over in a while. You had been a little… preoccupied, to say the least. You snuck a glance over at Ellie. It was mostly her fault. You had been spending a lot of time together.

“Be safe out there. Do not, I repeat, do not do anything stupid. Stay alert,” Jesse tells all the patrol groups, signaling for them to open up the gates. You nudge Ellie in the side with your elbow.

“You listening, Ellie? He said to not be stupid,” you tease, and she scoffs, guiding Shimmer through the open gate.

***

You shiver as the cold breeze of late autumn blows through your hair, seeming to pierce the layers of your sweater to bite at your skin. You had a grip around Ellie’s waist, watching the landscape for any signs of disturbance. You looked down, watching Shimmer’s strong legs push forwards as she ran. You were raised off the end of the saddle with each trot forward, and it made you slightly nauseous. The joys of horseback, you thought to yourself. At least you were with Ellie. You tightened your arms around her middle, peering around her head to watch the trail ahead.

“All good back there?” she asks you, turning her head back slightly towards you.

“Yeah, all good,” you tell her, your eyes wandering over the green-filled landscape. It really was pretty out here. It was quiet compared to the usual hustle and bustle of Jackson, but you didn’t really mind. It was sort of nice to get away.

“Almost there,” she calls out, and you look forward through the dense forest to catch a glimpse of the lookout. The rest of the ride goes quickly, and you hop lightly off of Shimmer’s back, watching as Ellie ties her securely at the base of the building.

You stand facing the woods, trying to listen for anything. You didn’t hear any clicks or the usual screeches of infected, turning back towards Ellie. She pushes through the door, extending her arm to hold it open for you.

“Thanks,” you say, heading up the stairs into the loft-like space. Thick glass windows spread from the floor up to the ceiling, offering a full view of the forest below. There’s a good visual of Jackson from here, and you realize how small it seems from here.

“Not the worst view, huh?” Ellie says, wrapping her arms around you from behind and resting her chin against your shoulder.

“It’s a nice change of scenery,” you say, your lips curling into a smile. You lean towards her, your neck straining as you softly press your lips against hers. She pulls you closer, and you twist yourself around to face her, her lips chasing yours. You sigh happily against her lips, and she pulls back, her fingers finding yours and walking you both towards the door leading out behind the building.

“Trail time,” she tells you, and you follow her. She eases the metal door open, and you step out, scanning the trail ahead.

“It curves around the perimeter of the old property, we’ll end up back at the main door again,” she tells you. You hum, leading the way forward.

“There’s usually a few stragglers that stumble down this way, branching off from the larger hordes,” she continues, and you nod. Tommy had mentioned that. You had your fair share of taking out the infected, so you weren’t too worried. Killing those things was simple, it was guiltless. Taking human lives was a whole different story, though you doubted you would have to worry about that today. This area was fairly remote, and newcomers were usually people who already knew about Jackson, arriving in hopes of settling down and joining the community.

Ellie walks up beside you, and you match her strides. You move in comfortable silence, listening for any infected. It’s a good ten minutes before you hear movement, and the screech of a runner.

“There,” you say, pointing through the trees. You grab your knife from your pocket, nodding your head towards them.

“Shall we?” you ask her, and she nods.

You creep up carefully, grabbing one of the infected and driving your blade into it’s throat. You drop the corpse to the ground, turning towards Ellie. She wipes her blade clean on a lichen-covered log, the other infected collapsed in front of her.

“Easy,” you say, and she laughs, glancing around the surrounding trees before heading back towards the trail. You join her, scrunching your nose as you wipe the dark blood of the infected off of your hands and onto the denim of your jeans.

“So,” Ellie says, turning towards you slightly.

“Any plans tonight?” she asks, and you think for a moment.

“Don’t think so. Just this and then I’m helping out at the bar for a bit tonight,” you tell her.

“What about you?” you ask, almost hesitantly. You hadn’t labelled anything between the two of you, but you found yourself dreading her response. You knew you would be hurt if she was with someone else. But you also knew Ellie was independent; she wouldn’t appreciate you hovering and acting possessive.

“Nothing. Maybe I’ll swing by the bar during your shift,” she says, raising her eyebrows and smiling a bit.

“You should,” you tell her, eyes following her figure as she walks slightly ahead of you. You didn’t mind working at the bar. You had volunteered to take the first shift tonight. Usually it was fun, especially when Jesse and Dina would come keep you company as you worked. You liked when they visited you, but normally Ellie kept to herself, avoiding the bar. You didn’t mind, and most times, you would go spend the rest of your evenings with her anyways.

“Or maybe not. I wouldn't want to distract you,” she says, and you snicker.

“Don’t give yourself so much credit,” you tease, and she turns around with a fake expression of offense.

“Excuse you,” she says, stopping her stride and waiting for you to catch up to her.

“I think we both know I could really distract you, if I wanted to,” she says, some of the playfulness leaving her eyes. You laugh nervously.

“Yeah, sure, Ellie, you really know how to get me all flustered,” you mock, and she raises an eyebrow at you. She steps closer slowly, tilting your chin up with her finger and leaning close, her gaze flicking down to your slightly parted lips. You feel a blush flooding your cheeks, and you inhale softly, looking up at her.

Oh. You knew she was just trying to prove her little point, but you found yourself fighting the urge to draw her in closer to you, to roam your touch over her skin.

She leans closer, your lips nearly touching, before she pulls back, looking you up and down quickly and displaying a smug smile.

“What was the word you used? Flustered?” she asks you, and you feel heat rushing to your cheeks in slight embarrassment. You shove her shoulder lightly, walking ahead quickly.

“Okay, whatever,” you say, shaking your head slightly, as if it could erase the thoughts going through your head.

“We both know you wouldn’t dare to try anything with all those people around,” you call back to her, and she chuckles in response, shrugging her shoulders.

***

You finish the rest of the patrol, taking out a few more infected along the trail. Your hands rest on Ellie’s hips as you close your eyes, the wind blowing your hair out of your face. Ellie brings Shimmer to a slow trot as you approach the stables, and you hop down. You stretch the stiffness out of your legs, watching as Ellie drops down beside you. She moves to grab the reins, but you intercept her hand.

“I can do it,” you say, shifting the reins in your palm. She looks at you, looking a bit surprised at your declaration. She wraps an arm across your back, her fingers sliding up beneath the fabric of your sweater and pulling you in towards her. You lean into her touch, resting your forehead on her shoulder.

“Good job out there today,” she says.

“I guess we make a decent team after all,” you say, pulling away and leading Shimmer towards the row of stalls.

“Hey,” Ellie calls after you, and you slow your pace, turning towards her voice.

“I’ll see you tonight, yeah?” she asks, and you nod, blowing her a kiss. She visibly cringes, and you hear her groan softly as you turn back towards the stables. You liked teasing her like this. Besides, it was harmless - there was nobody in the stables to see or comment on your actions right now.

You walk Shimmer through the gate of her stall, unfastening the saddle and hanging it back in place. Someone has already set out her water and hay for your arrival. You turn to leave but decide to approach the horse one last time for the day. You mimicked Ellie’s actions from earlier that morning, gently resting your hand on her nose. She allowed you, nosing your hand a bit and flicking her tail. You smile to yourself, drawing back and closing up the gate.

***

The bar was buzzing with people, and you scanned the room as you filled another glass up with beer. You smiled brightly as you met eyes with Dina, Jesse trailing behind her. You almost overflow the glass in your hand, cursing softly under your breath. Dina calls out your name, raising her hand in greeting.

“Hey, you guys made it!” you call out to them, and Jesse plunks down on the stool in front of you.

“How was the patrol this morning?” he asks you, not bothering to return your greeting. You narrow your eyes at him, fighting a smile.

“Fine,” you say, turning to give the beer to a man at the other end of the bar.

“You’re welcome, by the way,” he says to you, raising his eyebrows in your direction. Dina chuckles, elbowing him in the ribs.

“Uh, for what? For making me ride on a horse for hours on end?” you say, going to fill another glass.

“Alright, that’s cool. We don’t have to talk about it. I know you’re thankful I paired the two of you together,” he says, and you shake your head, your smile finally breaking out across your features.

“Shut up, Jesse,” you say, plunking the glass in front of him.

“You’re smiling. Dina, she’s smiling, you see that too, right?” he says, and you tut at him.

“Dina? Beer?” you ask her, changing the subject She nods, winking at you. You watched them bicker playfully back and forth as you served a few other people, waiting for a break in the crowd. After handing out more glasses than you remembered to count, you leaned over the bar.

Jesse called your name as you leaned in closer to hear him and Dina.

“What are you up to after this? We’re gonna regroup at Dina’s later,” he tells you. You smile at the invite.

“Uh, I’m not too sure yet. But I might stop by,” you tell him, your eyes jumping up to the door, looking for any sign of Ellie.

Dina follows your gaze, letting out a soft hum.

“She coming tonight?” Dina asks you, and you look down at her.

“Who?” you ask, though you know she’s referring to Ellie.

“You know who,” she chuckles.

“Maybe,” you answer. You weren’t sure- you knew Ellie didn’t like these things. But you kind of hoped she would show after she was so insistent earlier. Your thoughts jumped back to her words from before, at your closeness as you had stood together on the trail. You felt the ghost of her touch, coughing slightly. You needed to pull it together; she wasn’t even here, and you were already proving her right with how flustered you felt.

“We’ll see,” you say, busying yourself by wiping down the surface of the bar.

“Okay, and if she doesn’t - my place, promise?” she asks you, and you smile. You lean forward, propping up your pinkie finger. She links it together with her own, nodding.

“Pinky swear, I like it,” she says, and you laugh. You would rather stay and chat with them for a while, but you see a hand raise out down the bar. Duty calls.

***

More people had arrived from the evening patrols, and you wiped the sweat from your brow with your sleeve. You plunked another glass of beer on the bar top, moving quickly and grabbing the requested drinks. After a half hour of non-stop movement, you finally leaned against the bar, groaning softly to yourself. You made a mental note to never volunteer for a bar shift on a busy night ever again. You rested your forehead on your crossed arms for a moment, enjoying the peace.

You heard a whistle and then the snapping of fingers from across the bar, an obvious but rude attempt of someone trying to get your attention Who the fuck? You expected to see Seth, or some other Jackson asshole. The pissed expression melted off your face as soon as you saw Ellie leaning on the bar, chucking to herself.

“You think you’re so funny, don’t you?” you say, crossing your arms and standing in front of her, only the wood of the bar separating you.

“Hi,” she says, her eyes traveling up and down your form.

“Busy night, huh?” she asks, turning to look around.

“Yeah, sure is,” you say, looking at all the people. Your gaze wandered over to Jesse and Dina. Dina was sipping her drink, but Jesse looked up, meeting your eyes. He looked from you to Ellie, then back to you. His eyes widened, and he gave you a not-so subtle wink from across the bar.

You rolled your eyes, turning back to Ellie.

“I didn’t think you would actually come,” you tell her, taking the pause in drink orders as an opportunity to re-tie your hair.

“I just couldn’t resist the idea of seeing you in an apron,” she says, and you snort. Technically, you were supposed to wear one, but nobody ever did.

“Sorry to disappoint,” you tell her.

“You want something?” you ask, nodding back towards the drinks.

“Sure, whatever you bring,” she answers, and you swear you feel her eyes on your lips. She was probably messing with you again. You doubted she would try anything in public, and you stood by that assumption. She might tease you, but actual PDA was definitely off the table. You chose to grab her a cider, instead of the usual beer that everyone seemed to order.

You set the mug in front of her, leaning on the bar again and crossing your elbows.

“Shame you can’t sit and have one with me,” she says, raising the mug to her lips. You sigh. That sounded so nice right now.

You looked around the room before deciding it was still too busy to take an actual break. Seth was coming in soon to swap you out, but it would be a few minutes until then.

“You’re telling me, that cider looks half decent,” you say, looking at the mug in her hands. You have to concentrate to avoid looking at her hands, and she studies you carefully between sips.

“It’s not bad,” she says, sliding it towards you. You clasped a hand around the mug, glancing around the room again. Nobody would care.

You lift it to your lips, taking a sip.

“This place has really got it together recently,” she says, and you look at her, confused.

“How so?” you ask, genuinely curious. This place had looked the exact same for a few years, at least to your knowledge.

“Well, they finally hired a hot bartender,” she says, and you laugh, sliding the glass back towards her. She smirks up at you, and you blame the heat in your face on the stuffiness of the bar.

“You’re a lot more fun to look at than Seth,” she continues on.

“Shut up,” you say playfully, before your name is called a few seats down. After another few refills, you head back towards Ellie, who has now grouped with Jesse and Dina.

“Jesse was just telling me how you were just so happy about patrol assignments today,” Ellie says, and you blink, groaning.

“I didn’t say that. Not even remotely. Stop lying to her, Jesse,” you say, swiping the empty glass from in front of him. He laughs, and you can’t help but join.

You drop the empty glass onto the counter behind you, turning back to them.

“Seth is supposed to swap me out soon,” you say, getting excited to be done for the night.

“That guy is such an old geezer,” Dina says with a laugh, before leaning in towards Jesse. You glance over to Ellie, losing interest as the couple goes into their own little world.

“Old geezer,” Ellie echoes, smiling. You chuckle.

“His eyes would probably pop out of his thick skull if he saw this,” she says, reaching up to tuck a loose strand of hair back behind your ear. You smile softly as her knuckles brush your cheek. She has her shirt rolled up to her elbows, giving you a nice view of her tattoo.

“Yeah? Probably,” you say softly. She leans forward in her seat then, sliding her hand down to cup your jaw and brushing her thumb across your lip. You shake your head, laughing softly and pulling away from her touch, trying to hide the telltale red blooming across your face.

“You alright? You look a little… flustered?” she asks, a smirk tugging up the corner of her mouth. Before you can answer, you look up as Seth comes through the door, nodding at you.

Finally, you were done.

“That’s my cue,” you say to Ellie, walking around the bar and trading off with Seth, offering a polite hello as he walks by. He grunts in response, and you have to stifle a laugh. Dina was right. Old geezer.

You plunk down in the seat next to Ellie, grabbing her cider and downing the last bit. She watches as you swallow the liquid. You plunk the glass softly on the wood, letting out a breath.

“You ready? I’ve had enough of this room for one night,” you say to her, and she nods, swiveling towards Jesse and Dina.

“I think we might head out,” she says, subtly moving her hand to rest atop your thigh.

“Aw, okay. Remember, if you want to join, we’re heading back to mine in a few,” Dina says, and you nod, thanking her.

Ellie stands, and you rise with her. You bid Jesse and Dina a final goodbye, Ellie leading you out of the crowded room with a hand lightly grasping your elbow.

You push through the doors together, taking a deep breath of fresh air. It’s surprisingly cold, and you shiver slightly.

“Where are we headed tonight?” Ellie asks you, and you turn back to face her. It didn’t make much difference to you, though you usually crashed at Ellie’s place.

“How about my place? And then we’re closer if we want to head to Dina’s later,” you suggest.

“Yeah, alright,” she says, walking beside you as you head down the street towards your building. You were in an apartment of sorts. Being just yourself, it didn't make sense to set up in a whole house. You liked your place; it was spacious enough for you, and over time you had added some personal touches to the area. Ellie had been there briefly a few times, but for some reason, you felt nervous to have her in your space.

She sighed contently from beside you, linking your fingers together as you walked. Both of your hands were freezing, but you didn’t dare draw your hand away from her touch. It was worth being cold to have a moment with her.

She swung your hands back and forth, making you laugh. You lifted your joined hands, ducking under and letting her hand fall around your shoulder. You walked on, enjoying the quiet after being cooped up in the bar for so long.

“Holy shit,” Ellie says, and you glance up in alarm.

“Ellie? What’s wrong?” you ask, trying to follow her gaze.

“No, nothing. Look. It’s snowing,” she says, and you sigh in relief. You glance up, watching as the icy flakes slowly make their descent to the ground. You felt it touch your skin, and laughed, glancing over to Ellie. A few stray snowflakes had begun to nestle in her eyelashes and her hair, and you were close enough to see where they melted as they landed on her skin.

You brushed your fingers through her short hair, smoothing away some of the snowflakes. They melted under your touch, and you smiled, admiring the happiness evident on her face. You always loved the first snow of the year. It was that sweet spot where it wasn’t cold enough to piss you off, but there was a chill to the air that signaled the change of the season.

She reached up, lightly ruffling the snowflakes out of her hair, looking up at the sky before her gaze landed on you. She reached up, taking your face into both her hands. You scrunch your nose, squealing as her fingers feel like icicles where they brush against your skin.

“Sorry,” she mumbles with a chuckle, and you lean forward, connecting your lips. It was slow and sweet, and you let yourself enjoy the moment. You could still taste the sweet tang of the cider on her lips. You had been wanting to do this all day.

She pulls back and rests her forehead against yours for a moment, closing her eyes. You pull back then, grabbing her hand again as you walk the last few minutes to your place.  

You noisily scramble up the stairs with Ellie on your heels, fiddling with the door before stepping through into your apartment. You thanked your previous self for tidying up briefly before leaving this morning. It’s not much, but it was yours. You pull Ellie past the small kitchen, and she collapses on the faded couch, kicking her sneakers off and tugging you gently to lay beside her. You gladly oblige, tucking your back against her chest and letting your legs stretch out.

She pulls you closer with an arm over your side, and you relax into her.

“Thanks for today,” you say softly, playing idly with her still-cold fingers.

“It was good to get out for a while. It was even good to take out some infected again. I was a little worried I had lost all my instincts,”

She nods against your hair.

“Yeah. Anytime. I usually do that patrol with Dina, but she keeps begging me to swap her so she can go with Jesse. You know, if you’re feeling up to it, you could always just swap her out full time,” she suggests, and you pick up a slight wariness in her voice.

You twist around so that you face her. She looks at you with wide eyes, waiting for a response.

“Are you nervous right now? You look nervous,” you tease her, and she reddens in response.

“Okay, it was just an idea,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“Okay,” you say, nodding. She looks over at you again.

“Yeah?” she smiles.

“Yeah. I’d like that, if you’d have me. I can talk to Jesse about it. But you better be sure. Patrol partners, that’s no small commitment,” you joke, and she just laughs.

“Yes, I’m sure,” she drones in a monotone voice, shutting you up with a quick kiss. You ease into her touch, resting your head against her and letting yourself relax after the long day the two of you had. You don’t intend to fall asleep, but you can’t help but drift off, feeling safe and comfortable in her arms.

***

When you wake up, you’re not surprised to be alone. Ellie must have left late. You yawn, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. It’s still early, and you can see the sunrise coming up outside the window. You get ready for the day, about to head out the door. There’s a note ripped out from one of your old notebooks, now abandoned on the table.

Hey

Didn’t want to wake you. Come meet me at the diner when you wake up, and we can check in with Jesse about changing the patrols. You might just be stuck with me. Try not to be too flustered

-E

You trace your finger over the brief signature, dropping the note into one of your kitchen drawers with all the others she had left you time after time. You were sentimental like that. You liked her notes, and you liked her. Even if she made you a little flustered.

She furrowed her eyebrows, frowning at you.

“Okay,” she says slowly, sitting down on the stool next to you. Her eyes drop down to the bar top, letting out a soft hum of understanding as she notices the two empty glasses in front of you.

“It wasn’t,” you tell her, sneaking a look over at Jesse’s half full glass. You wondered if he would notice if you slipped it away carefully.

“What?” Ellie asks you.

“It wasn’t a rough night,” you clarify, reaching out across the bar and carefully easing the glass towards yourself. It scrapes noisily against the wood, and you cringe, giggling softly as Jesse peels his face away from Dina to glare at you in suspicion.

“Any other day, and I would steal that right back,” he mutters, tutting at you.

“But after today, you probably need that a lot more than I do,” he huffs, slapping a hand across your back. You flinch slightly, scoffing at him and tossing your raised middle finger in his direction.

You turn back towards Ellie, raising your successfully stolen glass up to her.

She smirks, and orders a beer for herself.

“So. What happened today?” she asks you, and you silently curse Jesse for bringing it up.

“Nothing, really. Went on patrol, killed some infected, read a book. Dumped Parker,” you say nonchalantly.

Her eyes widened slightly in surprise, the corner of her mouth tugging up into a subtle smile.

“About time,” she says, coaxing a laugh out of you.

“That guy was a real asshole,” she continues, and you snort in response. He wasn’t a bad guy. Well, he wasn’t a horrible person, you corrected yourself. But he was an awful boyfriend. And you knew deep down that you only dated him so you wouldn’t be so alone. The ‘relationship’ was a huge mistake, especially when you had known from the start that he wasn’t exactly your type. Not even remotely.

“You’re telling me. I’m done with men,” you blurt out, sipping more of Jesse’s beer. Ellie thanks the bartender, taking a sip of her own drink.

“Amen,” she says, clinking your glasses together.

You feel the (many) beers you drank catching up to you. The room seemed too warm, and too loud. You tried to chat with Ellie for a while, but found yourself distracted by all the things happening around you.

“Listen, I’m just gonna step out for a minute,” you tell her, and she nods. You stand from the stool, stumbling slightly towards her. You steady yourself with a hand on her shoulder, and she looks up at you in concern.

“How about I walk you out, you boozehound,” she teases, abandoning her drink on the bar and walking with you towards the door. You walk relatively normally, but her presence helps to calm you down. The moment you step outside, the breeze feels as though it is reviving you, washing away the events of the day.

You sigh in satisfaction, spreading your arms out to feel the air.

“It’s lovely out here,” you say. She chuckles, leaning against the wall of the building.

“Enjoying your freedom?” she says, and you know she isn’t just talking about your escape from the building.

“Yeah,” you admit.

“You know, I never really liked him. I don’t know if that makes me a bad person. I didn’t mean to like, use him, or anything. I just didn’t know until I tried,” you try to explain.

She nods.

“It doesn’t make you a bad person. You can’t help who you like or don’t like, not really,” she says to you, rubbing her fingers together.

You turn to look at her then, watching as she looks up at the stars in the sky. Your eyes trace the dusting of freckles on her cheeks, and you think to yourself that they look like stars above. Like little constellations lighting up her face. You glance away before she notices you looking.

“You want to get out of here?” you ask her. She looks over to you, seeming surprised by the question.

“Where to?” she asks, already pushing off of the wall to join you.

“Come with me. I have one last present from Eugene, may he rest in peace,” you say, knocking a fist against your chest and raising it to the sky in salute.

***

You have to shove yourself into the door a couple of times to ease it open, giggling softly as Ellie watches you in amusement.

You flick the lights on, cringing at the mess you left earlier. Your clothes are scattered around the room, your bed unmade and still messy from last night’s sleep. You glance over at Ellie, hoping she doesn’t think that you’re a massive slob.

“Sorry for the mess,” you mutter, walking over the bed and reaching your arm underneath it, your fingers scrabbling for a moment. Ellie watches you with her head tilted in confusion. You feel the cold glass of the jar, pulling it out and holding it above you like a trophy.

“Bingo,” you say, smiling up at Ellie.

“Well, well, look at you,” she says, scooping it out of your hands and untwisting the lid with ease. She reaches her fingers in, grasping one of the joints.

“You have a light?” she asks you, and you nod.

“Somewhere in here,” you say, trying to remember where you saw it last. You search clumsily through a few drawers before finding it, collapsing onto your messy bed and holding your hand out to her.

She drops the joint into your palm, and you raise it to your lips, your fingers fumbling with the lighter.

“Shit,” you say, your attempts getting more pathetic. The buzz from the beers makes the small action surprisingly tedious. Ellie laughs, reaching forward and sliding the lighter out of your grip.

“Here, let me,” she says softly, leaning forward. She flicks the lighter on, letting it hover over the end of the joint for a moment. Your breath catches in your throat as you realize her closeness. The familiar scent of Ellie floods your senses from the close proximity, one that you have only ever caught fleeting glimpses of. She pulls back, flicking the lighter back off. You raise your fingers to grip the joint, taking in a slow, deep inhale, shrugging away your thoughts. You hold your breath for a moment before leaning towards Ellie, blowing the gray puff of smoke softly in her direction. She smiles, plucking it from your lips and taking a hit herself.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. He’s a completely fine guy. It’s just not…” you trail off, shaking your head slightly and exhaling a cloud smoke.

“Okay. Well that’s be fair here. It probably doesn’t help when you pick the ugliest motherfucker in all of Jackson,” she says, making another jab at him. You laugh.

“Yeah, in retrospect it probably wasn’t the best idea. I knew I didn’t feel that way about him,” you explain.

“He’s pissed. He won’t even look at me when I see him, it’s this whole mess. But enough about me and my ridiculous problems. What’s going on with you these days?” you say, flicking your gaze over to her.

You wanted to give her a chance to talk about things with Joel, if she wanted to. Jesse and Dina had filled you in on the weird argument between him and Ellie. You didn’t want to pry; but at the same time, you had spent some time with Joel back when he was teaching you the intricacy of wood carvings. He was a good man, but you knew he had a past. Hell, you had one too. You thought almost everyone not born and raised in Jackson had a past, it was just the way of the world. You had your own dark experiences beyond these walls, with the infected of course, but even more so with the people out there. You shuddered softly, pushing the thoughts out of your mind.

“Uh, nothing new. Not really,” she says, sniffing once and fiddling with the mussed-up blankets on your bed.

You wait for her to continue, knowing she has more to say.

“I guess it’s been weird, recently. With Joel,” she sighs, rubbing at her eyebrow. You hum in acknowledgement, not wanting to push her.

“I won’t get into the details or anything. But it’s hard to explain, you know? We went through a lot together. He was my only family and things just got all fucked. We’re working on it, though. It’s getting a bit better. It just takes a lot out of me sometimes,” she sighs again, reaching for the joint.

“It will work itself out. Just give yourself some time,” you say, smiling softly in her direction and she tilts her head back, exhaling the smoke slowly.

“He cares about you,” you tell her, and she looks over at you then.

“He gave me whittling lessons for a while. Really patient guy,” you laugh, remembering the colossal failure that was your attempted sculpture.

“I think it was a few weeks before all the slivers were gone from my hands,” you say, and she chuckles along with you.

“He always talked about you, though. I’m sure the effort means a lot to him,” you finish, deciding to drop it there. She seems content for the moment, and you don’t want to ruffle any feathers.

“But in the meantime,” you say, reaching out to knock a hand against her knee.

“I’m probably the loneliest asshole in Jackson now that poor old Eugene kicked the bucket. So, if you ever want someone to be bored with, you know where I am,” you tell her honestly, and she nods at you, chuckling at the mention of Eugene.

You snuff out the end of the joint, setting it down to rest on your nightstand before reclining back on the mattress. The combination of the shitty beer and Eugene’s weed made you feel tired, if not slightly nauseous. You let your eyes close, enjoying the weightless feeling and doing you best to ignore the nausea. You felt the mattress dip slightly as Ellie relaxed next to you. You chatted on and off for a while, poking fun at Dina and Jesse, talking about recent patrols. Eventually, the time between your responses grew larger and larger, and you felt yourself give in to the sleepiness tugging at your eyelids.

***

A soft thud startled you awake, and you sat up quickly, raising a hand to rest across your forehead in an attempt to calm the pounding. You blinked the sleep away, your gaze falling on Ellie. She had tugged her coat on, and was currently fumbling to tie her shoes. You looked down, noticing that she had covered you with one of the blankets. You smiled softly at the sentiment, stretching out your arms.

“Night, Ellie,” you said, your voice slightly rasping from sleep.

“Jesus ,” she jumped slightly, chuckling and turning towards your position on the bed.

“You scared the shit out of me,” she laughs, pulling her laces tight.

“Sorry. Thanks for coming over tonight, though,” you add, wondering why your heart had started to beat faster in your chest. You watched a strand of hair fall into Ellie’s face as it brushed across her freckled cheeks. You let your eyes travel over her long eyelashes, the slope of her nose. Your gaze dropped down to the hands currently tying her other shoe, admiring her tattoo and the prominent veins that were visible, even at the distance between you. You watched her slender fingers secure the knot of her laces, your face flushing softly as you will yourself to focus on something else. She rises to her feet then, resting a hand on the doorframe.

“Yeah, of course,” she tells you, turning her lips up into a soft smile.

She opens the door, stepping halfway out before turning back towards you one last time.

“And the offer goes both ways. You know where I am. Come bother me if you ever get too lonely and want to spend time with someone who isn’t a massive douche,” she says, and you laugh at the implication. Your ex-boyfriend is the furthest thing on your mind as you nod to her. You almost think she has her own soft blush dusting her cheeks as the door closes shut behind her.

You sigh softly, switching off your light and turning in towards the blanket, smiling to yourself as you realize it still smells like her.

***

You pressed yourself as flat down as possible in the loft of the barn. You cursed softly under your breath, straining to grab your bow out of your pack. The infected screeched below you, and you peered over the ledge into the open area of the barn below. Six of them were searching blindly, creating an unsettling choir of clicks and shrieks. You only had four arrows, and didn’t want to risk using your pistol to attract any stragglers that might be outside.

You sat up quietly, propped up on one knee. You lifted your bow, taking a moment to breathe and relax the shaking of your hands. You cocked the arrow over the string of the bow, stretching it back slowly and aiming it at one of the infected below you. You let the arrow fly, and the struck infected collapsed to the dirt floor in a heap. One down, five to go.

The other infected gathered closer to the noise, and you used the last of your arrows, each shot making its mark. There were still two infected scouring the space, the putrid fungal masses blocking their sight. You would have to just bite the bullet and get your ass down there. You weren’t nervous, you knew how to handle yourself. You were just annoyed. Day after day, patrol after patrol, you always managed to get stuck with more and more of these things. It was easy to get used to life behind the walls of Jackson, but this was the reality for most of the world.

You shoved the bow back into your pack, opting instead for your knife. It was small, but it was deadly, and had saved your life more times than you could count.

You traced your fingers over your initials that were carved into the handle. You sighed softly, readying yourself to drop down off of the rickety wooden ledge. You cringed at the noise of your boots hitting the ground.

The last two infected jerked in your direction, rushing towards you. You grabbed the closest one, dodging its flailing form, going up behind it and wrapping your clothed arm around its throat. You dragged it backwards against the wall, diving your knife into its skull.

You carefully lowered it to the floor, trying not to alert the final standing infected. It rushed towards you, knocking you back against the planks of the faded wood walls. The sharp sting of exposed nails poking through the boards raked through your shirt and into the skin of your back, causing you to hiss out in pain.

It had you cornered now, and you pushed against its mutilated chest with your hands, trying to gain the upper hand. You forgot how strong these things could be. You strained, shoving it backwards enough to turn your knife and drag it lethally across its throat.

With the threat eliminated, you leaned forward, resting your hands on your knees and taking a moment to catch your breath. What a mess, you thought to yourself. You heaved yourself back onto the ledge of the loft, fingers fumbling for your pack. You took a final look around the barn before quietly slipping out the door. That was a little more action than you had expected to see today.

You rounded the side of the building, going to grab your horse and get the hell out of there. Your feet skidded to a stop as you saw the wooden fence you had tied her onto.

Fuck.

The fence creaked in the breeze; your horse long gone. She must have been spooked by the infected. She was smart, and you could only hope that she had made her way back to Jackson by now.

Looks like you would be making the trek back to Jackson on foot. You adjusted the pack on your shoulders, wincing as the straps brushed against the scratches from the barn wall. You would have to clean that up once you got home.

You walked for about an hour, taking out a few stragglers of infected as you followed the trail back to Jackson. You cleaned the gore off of your blade, wiping it roughly through the plush grass. Your ears perked up as you heard the distant sound of hooves striking the earth. You ducked behind a large oak tree for cover. You hoped it was your own horse, but you weren’t sure. You grabbed your pistol, taking the safety off and raising it up to eye level. The sound of the hooves thundered closer, and you caught a glimpse of the rider.

You chuckled to yourself, smiling and lowering your gun.

“Ellie!” you call out, emerging from behind the tree. You raised a hand in a wave, and you could see her sigh in relief.

“Jesus! Finally, I’ve been looking for you,” she called out, slowing Shimmer’s pace to a slight trot and she neared you.

“Lola showed up at the gate without you,” she explains, bringing Shimmer to a full stop.

“Scared the shit out me,” she mutters, extending her arm down to you.

You eye her for a moment, a smile forming on your face.

You close your grip around her arm, kicking off the ground and heaving yourself onto Shimmer’s back. Ellie lifts you the rest of the way, the firm muscles of her arm flexing beneath your grip.

“Careful Williams,” you say, nudging her elbow once you were settled.

“Might even seem like you were worried about me,”

She scoffs lightly.

“Me? Worried about you? Never,” she teases, turning her head over her shoulder to smirk at you.

You adjust your pack again, snaking your arms around her chest as Shimmer begins to trot forward towards Jackson.

The exhaustion of the day seems to catch up to you, and you can feel yourself relaxing against Ellie’s back. She doesn’t seem to mind.

You turn your cheek to rest against her shoulder, closing your eyes and breathing in the scent of her hair. You tighten your grip around her waist, feeling the rise and fall of her breathing. You don’t fall asleep, the bumpiness of riding horseback keeping you awake.

You close your eyes for a while, listening to the sound of hooves and feeling the breeze flutter across your face.

The gates of Jackson come into view. Ellie reaches a hand back, lightly rubbing your thigh.

“Hey,” she says, slowing Shimmer’s pace. “We’re back,”

You hum in acknowledgement, straightening your back and leaving your comfortable position against Ellie’s back. You stretch out your stiff arms, nearly losing your balance.

“Thanks for coming to get me,” you whisper, reaching forward to lightly squeeze her hands, the reins clasped between them.

“Anytime,” she says back, clearing her throat.

“You know, you really should try to keep a better track of your horse. You’re a terrible guardian,” she teases. The gate opens, and the guards greet you, collecting your weapons.

Ellie hops off Shimmer, the shift in your posture causing you to wince again as the scrapes on your back rub against your shirt.

Ellie glances up at you, holding Shimmer by the reins.

“What is it?” she asks you, furrowing her eyebrows and looking you up and down briefly.

“Nothing,” you say, shrugging off her concern.

“Just a few minor scrapes. Nothing life threatening,” you laugh, preparing yourself to hop off Shimmer’s back. You grit your teeth as you feel blood trickling down your back and into the waistline of your worn-out jeans.

Ellie drops the reins, coming up to the side of the saddle and facing you.

“This is painful to watch,” she says, arms crossed in front of you.

You scowl, and halfheartedly kick out at her, but she dodges it. She smirks, reaching up and placing her hands on your hips, and you instinctively move your hands to rest atop her shoulders.

You can feel the way her fingers indent your skin as she carefully lifts you the rest of the way down.

You roll your eyes, still resting your hands on her shoulders.

“Not necessary. But thank you,” you say, looking down at the lack of space between you. You let out an awkward little cough, removing your hands from her shoulders and turning back towards Shimmer, collecting the reins in your hands. You feel warmth flood your cheeks, feeling her amused gaze trailing your movements.

You walk Shimmer over to the stables, handing her off and wiping your sweaty palms on your jeans.

“If you want help with that,” she says, gesturing to your back, “I’ve got stuff at mine,” she offers.

You reach your hand back underneath your shirt. The fabric sticks to your skin, still slightly damp with your blood. You look down at your hand, now glistening with red.

“Actually, yeah. If it’s not too much trouble,” you glance up at her.

“Not at all.” she says, reaching into her bag and tossing you a cloth for your hands.

You walk through the streets of Jackson together, chatting briefly about plans for the weekend. You would both be going to the bar with Dina and Jesse, in celebration of their one-year anniversary. The four of you, being fairly close in age, usually spent your downtime together. Jesse often came to you for advice about Dina, and Ellie had admitted since then that Dina had done the same with her. You and Ellie had placed a bet on who would ask who out, and she had been forced to buy your drinks for a whole night at the bar.

You and Ellie had gotten a lot closer in the last year. Dina and Jesse often got a little caught up in themselves, not that you two really minded. You liked the time together.

You jumped back to the present at the sound of Ellie’s door creaking open. She stepped in, gesturing for you to follow.

“Welcome to my, uh, very humble abode,” she says, kicking off her shoes and heading over to the desk.

You set your pack down on the floor, scanning the room. It looked the same as always. It was sort of a mess, but you didn’t mind. You had spent a lot of time in this room, between planned movie nights and spontaneous drop ins.

You had seen it perfectly clean a few times, but the clutter made it seem more comfortable, more homey. Her clothes littered the floor, sketchbooks and comics tossed haphazardly across the bed and the floor. The familiar scent of Ellie flooded your nose as you walked over to join her by the desk.

She opened a drawer, grabbing out a bottle of rubbing alcohol, clean cloth, and bandages.

Turning to look at you, she tapped your chest softly.

“Here, take that off and we can clean it up,” she says. You have to peel the shirt off, gasping lightly, feeling like your skin itself was being pulled off along with it. Ellie took the shirt from your hands, setting it across her desk chair. You would try to wash it later.

You decided to leave your camisole on, brushing your fingers over the skin of your back. You couldn’t see it, but you could feel where the nails had punctured and then torn your skin.

You turn around, facing the wall so your back is facing Ellie.

“Jesus,” she exclaims, lightly brushing her fingertips around the cuts.

“You run into a mountain lion out there?” she asks you sarcastically, taking the cap off of the alcohol bottle.

You let out a huff of amusement.

“Not exactly. Old ass barn with exposed nails sticking out of the wall. It was just bad luck,” you say, flinching as she begins to wipe the blood away from your skin with the cloth.

“I don’t believe in luck,” she tells you softly, continuing to gently dab your back.

You sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes, listening to the sound of the wind blowing outside the window and the sound of her breathing.

“Okay, this might hurt a little,” she warns you, grabbing the bottle again and flushing out the wounds. You grit your teeth, your hands gripping the blanket on the bed tightly.

“Fuck,” you hiss, twisting out of her grasp for a moment.

“Sorry,” she says, gently leaning you back again with a hand on your shoulder.

“Just a bit more,” she pours the alcohol again, and the burning sting is even more intense. Your chest heaves up and down with the effort of each breath, face flushed and your heartbeat pulsing in your fingertips, making you nauseous. You knew your pain tolerance was shit, and it crossed your mind that you probably looked pathetic in that moment.

“Okay,” Ellie says finally, setting the bottle on the desk. She comes up behind you again with the gauze and bandages in her hands. She places the bandages over the worst of the wounds, wrapping the gauze around your chest a few times, securing it back over itself.

“All done,” she sighs, running her fingers through your hair gently.

You tilt your head back, leaning it against her stomach. You look up at her for a moment before closing your eyes and breathing out of your nose in relief, glad that it was dealt with.

She brushes her knuckle across your cheek, and you hum happily at the sensation. She leans forward over you, her hair tickling your cheek as she presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. The small gesture makes your heart soar. You sit forward then, and she turns to her dresser, rifling through a drawer. You swivel around on the bed, looking down at her handiwork.

“Thank you,” you say.

“I would surely die without your magical hands to clean up my injuries. My hero. With those strong, sexy hands,” you tease her, hearing her scoff from her crouched position before looking over her shoulder at you with her eyes narrowed.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” she says, tossing you a clean shirt from her drawer. You catch it, carefully pulling it over your head while trying to limit your movement as much as you could.

She leaves for a minute, washing her hands and coming to sit on the bed, leaning against the headboard.

You look at her, letting your eyes trail down to her tattoo.

You reach forward, brushing your fingertips across the inked skin, admiring it.

“I’ve always liked this on you,” you tell her, tracing the lines of the leaves with your index finger.

“Did it hurt? I kind of want one,” you try to imagine what you would look like with a tattoo. You wonder what you would get.

“Yeah, it hurt a bit. But it was worth it. I could picture you with full sleeves, both arms. Maybe a face tat, like a total badass,” she says jokingly.

“I don’t know about that,” you laugh.

“I don’t know what I would get. I’d probably make you pick up that sketchbook and draw me something amazing,” you say, nodding your head to one of the notebooks discarded on the floor. You were only half joking.

Now that you thought about it, it wasn’t a bad idea.

She turns pink, flicking your forehead lightly.

“Shut up, no way,” she laughs nervously.

“Why not? I’ve seen your sketches. I’d be honoured,” you say, looking at her with your eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, you’ve seen them. But you’re practically the only one I’ve shown them to,” she says shyly, nudging you in the side with her socked foot.

“Really?” you can’t hide the surprise in your voice. You feel a small flush of pride. It’s kind of nice that you’re the only person she shares them with. That it’s something that belongs to just the two of you. You like that idea more than you care to admit.

“Not even Jes or Dina?” you ask, feeling a bit cocky now, grinning at her. She shakes her head, rolling her eyes at you.

“Oh my god. I feel so special,” you say, adjusting yourself to sit next to her against the headboard. She turns her head to face you.

She smiles at you, her gaze flicking down to your lips so quickly that you think you might have imagined it. She reaches over, tucking a loose strand of hair back behind your ear.

“You are,” she says softly, so much so that you almost don’t hear her. You furrow your brow in confusion, tilting your head slightly.

“Special.” she says, eyes flicking back to yours. “You are special,” she repeats, clearing her throat and picking at the sleeve of her sweater nervously. You lean a bit closer, tilting her head up with your hand resting lightly on the side of her face.

You both lean forward at the same time, connecting your lips in a slow kiss. She curves her hand carefully around your back, avoiding the bandages that wrap around your middle.

You shiver at the feeling of her calloused fingers brushing your bare skin, leaning closer into the kiss.

She pulls back for a moment, the sound of your laboured breathing echoing between you. She brushes her thumb across your lip dreadfully slowly, before pulling your jaw forward and hungrily chasing your lips with her own. You shift, straddling her lap. Her hands lower to grip your waist, and you thread your fingers into her auburn hair. She groans softly into your mouth, one hand pressing into the small of your back, which arches closer into her.

A sudden knock on the door nearly makes you jump out of your skin, and you lean back from Ellie, staring at her with wide, panicked eyes. "Oh shit," She says, untangling herself from you, and walking to the door. You sit amongst the rumpled blankets.

Ellie opens the door a crack, sticking her head out.

"Yeah?" she asks, sounding impatient. You hear the low timbre of Joel's voice, but you can't pick up what he says. Ellie turns her face towards you briefly, before nodding quickly and turning back to Joel.

"Is someone in there with you?" you hear him ask her, and your eyes widen. You hear her mumble your name, and tell him it's not the best time. You wince slightly. Could she be any more obvious? You look around the room, grabbing the nearest comic off the floor and flipping it open, pretending to be very interested.

You watch Ellie over the top of the comic. She closes the door, groaning before walking back to the bed and flopping down beside you. She eyes the comic in your hands, snorting and tossing it aside.

“We are never talking about that ever, okay?” she says, pulling you in again and laughing against your lips.

“Okay,” you say between breaths of laughter, leaning your forward to rest against her own.

"You know, you could have just acted like we were hanging out normally, he never would have known," you say, pursing your lips to prevent your laughter from spilling out.

“Okay. It's a bit late for that, isn't it? Now where were we?” she asks you, leaning against the headboard once again, pulling you along with her.