#ellieeditrambles

We're reeling through the midnight streets- initially, I actually wanted to start it on the this dream isn't feeling sweet line but it just didn't fit in instagrams 1-minute time frame ANYWAY This scene has always been the most painful to me. Wilhelm realises at this moment that he's truly, undeniably alone in his life. Everyone he trusts (or is supposed to trust) has left him, and he has nobody left to go to. He's alone, going through his own personal hell, finding out his only family cares more about public perception than him as a person. It's like the beginning of the worst spiral we see from Wilhelm. Its quite a literal scene-to-lyric moment, but also the we're part feels (to me) like him-as-well-as his public self. Crown Prince Wilhelm and Wille are such separate parts, and its all he has left.

And I've never felt more alone- The THERAPY SCENE! Specifically this is the I think it's better not knowing how it could feel scene, because that truly is the most heartbreaking viewpoint I've ever seen from a character. It was better not being in love because I couldn't miss it. He might be getting closer to the other boys in the secret society, as well as Felice, but he's not really breaking past the surface level with anyone. Not even Felice knows the depths of his pain, he keeps it all to himself. The loneliness crushes him, he wishes he didn't know how love felt. As far as he's concerned, he's never loving someone else again (true) and he's never going to be able to love Simon again (false). In this moment there's this feeling of emptiness. He has nothing he actually cares about, and he wishes that he never cared in the first place.

It feels so scary, getting old- He wasn't supposed to fill this role, giving a speech as the Crown Prince of Sweden about his brother's passing. Wilhelm's character (obviously) fundamentally switches after Erik's death. He used to be a lot sillier, more reckless and more willing to fight back against his parents. But now he's got every single eye on him, watching him. Put into an adult role at the age of sixteen, forced to carry the burden of spare his whole childhood, then suddenly forced to be the sole heir. Even if he had planned to maybe one day be the heir (which he didn't, judging by the he should be here instead of me comment) it wasn't supposed to happen until he was older and wiser. He stops acting like a kid because he can't be a kid anymore. The cuts between the frog/getting the frog/breaking the globe aimed to emphasise this. He's lost all connection to his brother, he's in a place he didn't expect to be until he was extremely old (if ever), and he's lost control of his own life.

We can talk it so good, we can make it so divine, we can talk it good how we wish it would be all the time- I wanted to frame Simon in this as a sort of healthy distraction for Wilhelm. He was the only person in his life who actually looked out for him and cared. They're happy and they're smiling, all the clips are intimate even if there's someone else there. It highlights how they care. It's good, it's divine. It's what kept him happy after the hardest thing in his life (so far). In this edit, he desperately wants it back because he knows how much it helped. It was the only bright thing he had. The cutting to Wilhelm alone in s2 after how we wish it would be all the time just aims to really enforce that he wished it was still like that, wishing for someone who truly cared and loved him. It's all yearning, pining, wishing things were better. Every single clip is a clip in which Wilhelm has been pining over Simon. There's an ache he expresses that was just so, so important to this edit.

This dream isn't feeling sweet- Lots of clips of Wilhelm trying to process things. He's been forced to change his entire life, after all being a prince is a privilege, not a punishment. The 'dream' of being royal crushes him, despite the fact he can't ever voice it. Walking down the halls of his castle, sitting in his private boarding school therapy session with an actual therapist, being driven home in a private car from the party where he was filmed fighting. These luxuries juxtaposed with his actual circumstances hurt. He can't complain because he's got it best in the country, but it isn't a system designed for him, it doesn't want to help him, it wants to make him conform. It isn't fair, but he can't say that.

We're reeling through the midnight streets- He's forcing himself to try and fit the mould while also being himself, and all it causes is pain. He's actively fighting against the institution he was raised in simply by existing. The panic attack from being perceived holding Simon's hand. Deleting his contact after his mother told him 'no more mistakes.' Trying to play nice at the dinner table even though his whole life was crumbling around him and the institution was failing everyone even though nobody believed him. The panic attack/anxiety vomit from Simon going public, against Wilhelm's institution, knowing that he might not be able to protect him. He's got no control in any of these scenes, its a desperate fight against himself. He's a publicity risk to his own family if he is true to himself, and he's a risk to himself if he isn't.

And I've never felt more alone- Desperately trying to comfort himself when nobody else can (or wants to) comfort him. After the fight at the party all his family cared about was the PR response. When August said that Simon would take the fall for the drugs, all he cared about was getting Alexander back. During the uniform tailoring, all Jan-Olof cared about was tradition and making Simon as background as he could. When Wilhelm gave up meditating to soothe his anxiety, he was upset at his inability to calm down, despite the fact he's never been given an opportunity to be calm. Nobody really knows about his mental health struggles, he just has to fight through them and desperately try to self-soothe. Nobody else will comfort him after all.

It feels so scary getting old- Each of these scenes show Wilhelm being viewed as his role instead of being viewed as a person. He clearly struggles with being viewed as just the Crown Prince of Sweden, especially since that was never supposed to be his role, so of course it hurts when he's viewed as just a pawn in the Royal Family. Especially from people he loves. Yes, it was undeniably hard when he first became the Crown Prince, and it absolutely would've crushed him to know that when he had a panic attack he couldn't be alone. But these scenes are interlaced with him being viewed as a political pawn by Simon and his mother. People he loves, people he trusts. He's just a public statement to his mother, and he's just a human representation of the Crown to Simon (in these scenes not in general ofc). He's never going to be able to be his own person again, because he's got a country to run when he grows up and a public image to form between now and then.

This dream isn't feeling sweet- The lyrics are now getting more compounding, it's louder and it's closer. He's fighting to be heard, he's being ripped off of his desk, he's forcing down a panic attack because he needs to be happy for Simon. His emotions aren't allowed, he can't feel anything negative so he won't feel anything at all. Nothing in his life feels good anymore, so he's fighting the losing battle to just try to break even. Nobody would dream of this, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. He can't even voice that, though.

We're reeling through the midnight streets- Now he's reminiscing about when things were easier, but they weren't, really. Yes, the placard was there the night he first kissed Simon, but that was also the beginning of the horrific realisation he wasn't built for the world he is forced to live in. His mother says 'no more mistakes' and he already knows it means he has to leave Simon. When that doesn't work and it all falls out, he's left to try and clean his own image up by nailing the closet shut with every fibre of his being. His life wasn't better, he's grasping for anything to show him life will be okay again. Everything has crumbled and now he's got nothing, so he yearns for when he had something, even if it was just something to lose.

And I've never felt more alone- He is constantly left. Something that isn't brought up enough is how often he's just abandoned. He has no one to talk to, he's forced to work through his struggles alone because his existence is political and any sign of weakness being public could reflect badly on his family. He becomes the embodiment of the Prince he could never be. Walking to the lake and reminiscing about when he would be happy there. Being left alone by his brother, who didn't even reply to him asking to say hi to his mother and father, who he then never sees in person again. Then wearing his brother's jacket. He's alone, and all he does is pine for a time when he wasn't. All he wants to do is go back and do it all again, and he can't. But he also can't move forward, he doesn't want to, he doesn't know how.

It feels so scary- Only two scenes so I'll discuss 'em one by one: -At Erik's funeral, there's a more literal fear of getting old. I don't want to repeat myself more than I already have but obviously, that forced Wilhelm to grow up and be more mature, and act like a Crown Prince instead of just the Prince. More attention, less room for error. He's terrified of fucking it up, and there's nobody who can help him. -The breakup scene is more metaphorical. He has to grow up and figure out what he wants to do with his life, while also having to grow to understand what he actually has the ability to do with his life. He's not ready to do this because he wants things to be good and happy but it was ripped away from him. He can't just pretend everything is alright anymore, but the amount of maturing he needs to do seems impossible at this moment, especially knowing he was in love with a boy when he wasn't allowed to be. He tries to be both a Prince and Wilhelm and all it did was betray his boyfriend's trust.

getting old- Wilhelm shutting his computer and pressing his hands to his eyes. It's exhausting. He's exhausted. Constantly working to try and be who he's supposed to be as well as being himself and trying to navigate his emotions in a vulnerable state is just too much. He can't carry it all, so he just gives up for a moment. It all goes quiet, but not in a good way. When you're that overwhelmed, the lack of anything just leaves more room to spiral.

FONT CHOICES

Intro: literally my handwriting. I wanted this to feel personal and almost like a desperate written plea to go back to when it was good, and what's more personal than my own handwriting am I right!!!

First chorus loop: Magazine font, it's in pieces and it doesn't match. There's a sporadic chaos, like he's beginning to feel it but it isn't there yet. The text isn't fully opaque, it's in front of him. We're seeing it before he does in this context. Trying to reflect how the media knows things before he does, like his brothers death, the tape leaking, all that good stuff.

Second chorus loop: Big, Bold, Unavoidable! I rotobrushed Wilhelm in every scene so that the text could be intertwined with him. He can't escape the reality of his situation, he is getting crushed by these feelings. The song gets louder and more claustrophobic, the text is in the scenes with him. It haunts him, it's everywhere. When he closes the laptop and it all goes silent, its not relaxing, it just makes you anxious in a different way.

COLOURING

And what do you think the dilemma is?- Starting with the actual scene, Simon is asked the question by the teacher, basically showing that the edit is going to be entirely about Simon's interpretation of the book Kris, which is used as a parallel for wilmon! The text is purple for the teacher, but that's also the colour I use to represent wilmon as a couple so its a little nod to that as well :)

That Malin has grown up with strong Christian ideals, that...- Wilhelm walking through the castle, trying on Erik's old jacket, paralleling Wilhelm's upbringing as a Prince to an extremely religious upbringing. He's been raised in this place, with its long-standing traditions and deep beliefs that permeate into the modern world. He's surrounded by this institution and even though he tries his best to be himself and accept who he is, obviously it has fundamentally carved out his brain in a specific way. The royal upbringing is what made him so afraid of his sexuality, and even when he accepts that there are still parts of him that naturally fall into that safe self-serving mindset.

She has trouble combining with how she really feels.- Wilhelm is left out when August and Erik get to see each other, the etiquette book being forced into his hands, leaving Simon after his mother told him 'no more mistakes.', telling Simon that their kiss was a mistake. He doesn't know how to fit into either box, Prince or Wilhelm. He's in a completely new space and all he's trying to do is be exactly what everyone wants him to be, what he's expected to be. He struggles during the photo-op because he wants to be himself, but he's quickly reminded that he should actually just follow everyone else and fit the mould. This mindset is what makes him leave Simon in E4. He's struggling to find the line between what his upbringing expects of him and what he actually wants, and he can't manage to thread that needle no matter how much he wants to. The one time he figured it out, realising his mistake and backtracking, it didn't change anything. He was forced back into that same box. Despite his best efforts, Wilhelm doesn't know how to balance his title and himself.

Especially about Siv.- The anxious hovering before the kiss in episode 4. He's desperately trying to reassure himself this is okay and that he's allowed to be happy and accept himself even as the Prince. It's all he has, nobody else around him cares like Simon does, and still, he has to hesitate, he's afraid that once he crosses that line he can't go back. I always thought this mirrored the party scene, when Wilhelm looked like he wanted to kiss Simon, but the show cuts before we see (and I don't think they did kiss here tbh). He's so terrified of crossing these barriers he's made in his head, consciously or not, because once he does how will he go back? How could he go back? He doesn't know where to put these feelings, there's no space between his royal upbringing and societal expectations. Both of these scenes feel like a free-fall jump. He's risking everything just to see. To feel something that he's held back from himself, allow himself that experience. Get to know himself.

You wish that Malin could just ignore them,- The outside pressures on Wilhelm rearing their ugly heads. He's a poster-child for Hillerska, especially since Henry confirms that the school board thought Wilhelm would bring more students to the school. The plaque reminding him that he is responsible for the legacy of the school causes him to spiral, because he's a public figure whose name can never be separated from the school but he might be falling for a boy who he can't ever really be with, and he hates it. His mother reminding him that he can't make any more mistakes, that he's the sole heir to the throne and he needs to make the family proud, it just cements this fear. Wilhelm is stuck in this cycle of accept himself/ outside pressure to conform/ accept himself... and it's wearing him down already. He's taking his mother's words and applying them to what he knows she wouldn't like, even though she doesn't know about it. [You] in this scenario is Simon, or at least Wilhelm's interpretation of Simon. He imagines it's irritating watching him go between reaching out and pulling back, how draining it must be for Simon, but he also knows that there's no easy solution to this problem.

I mean, the duties and ideas about God- Again, God in this context is the Royal Family. Wilhelm giving his pre-written speech, Wilhelm giving his pre-planned lie about the tape. These scenes show his duties to the throne. He needs to keep up appearances, come hell or high water. There's a distinct lack of emotion in both scripts (though he does go off-book after Erik's passing, but this isn't a public space, so it makes sense). He is just following exactly what is expected of him, with no real personal attachment, even though both of these things are extremely emotional events. His duty to the Royal Family is to pretend that everything is fine, all the time. To rid himself of his humanity, just be the figurehead he's supposed to be.

It's not just coming from outside, it's her own fault, too.- Wilhelm's admission. It's not just the Royal Court deciding his actions, his every word, thought, and movement. He's accepting blame for himself, too. It's something he's been extremely hesitant to do in the series up until this point, but it was extremely necessary. Wilhelm's acceptance of fault is what helps reform that trust with Simon. It was Wilhelm's own recklessness that almost got him taken out of school, and it was his own naivety that made him believe Simon could trust him post-tape-denial. Yes, there were outside sources, but he wasn't acting as a puppet for the Royal Family, he was making his own decisions as well, and he's acknowledging the hurt that it brought to Simon. A lot of Wilhelm's S2 arc is related to taking responsibility and understanding the pain he's caused, as well as trying to amend it to the best of his ability. Of course, he still messes up, he's a teenager, but he puts in as much effort as he can.

She has been forced to...- I always thought the Queen manipulated Wilhelm by using the dead-brother-card to ensure he didn't confirm the sex tape. He was forced into giving that statement, and I think at this point Simon has begun to realise just how much power and reach Wilhelm's family (more specifically his mother) has over him and his own existence. He's forced to be this perfect son, with no problems, not a hair out of place, and it has shaped him. Even when Wilhelm fights against the manipulation, he knows that it's not going to work, because everyone around him is willing to do whatever it takes to get him to agree. Jan-Olof doesn't care about Wilhelm's upset at the song changing, all he has to do is say 'The Queen Requested It' because he knows that's all Wilhelm needs to hear to back down. His mother knows this, too. Although Wilhelm has free will and makes a lot of bad decisions on his own, his mother's ability to control and manipulate him only makes those bad decisions worse.

Follow those rules.- Wilhelm just wants to be the perfect son, and considering the fact the show starts on a PR disaster, it makes sense that he's doing anything he can to fix that public perception. He won't speak about politics because Royals are supposed to be politically neutral, even though he clearly isn't politically neutral. He tries to thread the needle, which endears Simon but also shows his fear of further repercussions. He's already lost so much after the fight video, so he's on his best behaviour now. Even months later, he still struggles with regulating emotions and suppressing his anxiety, causing him to be mad at himself for not doing enough. Not being the perfect boy who doesn't want to be openly queer and isn't upset that his ex-boyfriend has a new boyfriend. He can't pretend that he feels okay with these rules, but he also can't let himself bend them. The breakdown after the first kiss is the biggest reflection of this. Yes, he kissed Simon back the second time, but once he was reminded that this was real life where others were nearby and there could be public ramifications to being caught like that, suddenly he's desperately spewing out anything that could remotely sound like he's straight. When Simon actually listens and tries to leave, though? That's also bad. He can't break the rules, but he also can't imagine letting this go. The rules he has to follow just trample him and cause more harm than good, and Simon recognises this.

She can't just throw away everything she's ever learned about right and wrong.- Mostly just highlighting the differences between when Wilhelm was kissed by Felice and when he was kissed by Simon. The kiss with Simon felt right, he was surprised but wanted it to continue. The kiss with Felice didn't. He can't throw away everything he's learned about what's right and wrong for him. It kind of was supposed to spin the line on its head. It's not what he's been taught as right and wrong, but what he's learned, from experience.

She discovers that- The therapy session with Boris, the one where Wilhelm realises he actually can be emotionally vulnerable with Simon and tell him how he feels, and let him be informed. He's finally learning that he has some say and control in his life, that it isn't just predetermined because of who he is and what he was born into. There's this change in expression that emphasises his sudden realisation, like his whole world has been spun on its head.

She wants to change her life,- Confronting Simon with his feelings!!! Simon had asked him to just be open and honest, and for once, he actually is. He wants to change, he wants to have control in his life, and he wants to pursue what's actually important to him! Of course, he tells Simon don't charge August because then I can't abdicate BUT he gives him the option to do whatever feels right. He isn't demanding control of a situation which is out of his hands, he's just letting Simon know his options. Also he apologises and is the bigger person about the wrongs he's done, he's changing for the better. His love is making him better.

Because of what she learns through her feelings for Siv.- Wilhelm has grown a lot throughout the course of his relationship with Simon, even when they weren't together a lot of his growth is centred around Simon and wanting to fix their relationship- and by extension himself. Happy, silly wilmon contrasted with more emotional and sad wilmon not only shows how much they've been through together, how much they've faced together, but also just hammers home the depth of their connection. Wilhelm feels safe and vulnerable with Simon, and Simon feels comfortable and happy with Wilhelm. They're always reaching out or touching each other in these scenes, the constant affection between them just emphasises their love and connection which is what this edit is all about.

So it isn't all bad, and we don't know what happens after the book ends.- - More wilmon comforting each other, lots of touching and holding and love. Even when their relationship is in a bad place, there's still that love and care there in every action they do together. Everything they do is an output of their love- even when they're upset and fighting is because they love each other and they're hurt and don't know how to express it. They just want to hold each other together and keep close, and the beauty in that pure expression of love just carries through the scenes so nicely. They're in love your honour!!!

Closing Scene- I chose this scene because it is just such a perfect encapsulation of wilmon to me. The soft, gentle movements and the warm lighting, the comfort and safety they feel... it's also my favourite scene in the whole show but that's just my opinion etc... truly what I want is for wilmon to have a silly little morning after scene that isn't tainted with the agony to come. We don't know what happens after young royals ends, but I imagine it is gonna be that scene every morning because they're in love!!!!! and I do not care what anyone else says!!!

FONT CHOICE

The font I used is I'm DW pica!!! it's the folklore/evermore font, and I think it has storytelling vibes and that kinda links back to the whole It's A Story For English Class thing :P

Also the text changes colour between Simon's voice and Wilhelm's voice because usually (read: if I'm making my edit like a conversation) I'll colour the texts to match who's speaking (or who matches the current lyrics, or who's POV I'm editing from). When I do this, Simon's text is always a yellow-gold and Wilhelm's is always a teal-blue.

COLOURING

The beginning of the edit has a pale pinky-reddy colouring over it, it's quite desaturated and it's supposed to feel quite cold and hopeless. In sadder edits I'll usually use a red/pink/purple or sometimes a blue pallet for colouring, and it'll be very desaturated. However, by the line she discovers that the colouring actually shifts to a warm golden tint (most of the time my gold colourings are modified from the S1E5 opening scene). Basically showing how he's gaining control and hope and life is looking better and happier :)