#eliseporter

We were getting ready to leave when a finger tapped on my shoulder. I turned around to see the boy from the table earlier. I thought to myself, great he most likely saw me on the news last week. “Hi my name is Edus Malone, I couldn’t help but asking you; my golly you're beautiful.”. I was blushing by then, “Oh I’m sorry, I meant, well I mean… I -” I cut him off, “I’m Odette Summer, you said you wanted to ask me a question?”, “ The girl from the papers?”, “Sure.” I grabbed my jacket to leave when he stopped me and apologized, “Sorry um, do you mind if I draw you?”, and I said yes. We sat at the table for an hour or so ( but who's counting ) while he sketched me. We laughed and talked and I made a joke about him “drawing me like one of his french girls” hoping he’d get the reference. He did. He finally showed me the finished product, and it was prepossessing, and captivating. Edus managed to portray every one of my facial features in a fair and honest way. “It's stunning.”, I said “Just as you are.”, he said. He thought I was funny, artistic, winsome, and unique and I thought the same of him. I wish I could have told him though, I loved him unconditionally and wondered why he bothered to even talk to me that day. Still I knew he loved me … but… I couldn’t figure out why though, why I would never love myself again.

We drove to the Ost when all of the tears had finally been put to rest for now and I found a comfy seat next to the window. I pressed my head up to the glass and thought about how lost I’d felt and what the future held for me, well now that I was back. Soon after ordering Lisa excused herself to go to the bathroom giving me and Momma time to talk about what occurred over the months past. “Talk to me honey”, she pleaded. She put her hands on mine and gave me a worried look, “I noticed you stopped taking your medication before you ran off.” I tried to change the subject “Look at how nice it is, it hasn’t been altered one bit since the last time we were here.” I could tell she wasn’t going to let me weasel my way out of it. “Why did you leave again Odette?”,  “Why not ever turn around or simply just stop?”. I looked straight into her eyes, the ones she so graciously gifted me and my sister, “I don’t know, I guess the weather was to nice this summer to turn back Momma.” Lisa came back to the table and told us about a call she had just received from work saying that if she returned by tonight they would give her a promotion. “I can’t believe my work paid off so well”, her face lit up, “I mean obviously I don’t have to leave if you need me here Odette.”. I wanted her to stay but I insisted, “No you deserve it for all the hard work you've put in.” “Thanks sweetie.” “No problem.”. I gave her a small smile and she looked pleased with it so it was fine for me. Her and Momma talked while I sipped on my coffee. The atmosphere of the cafe was more of an old-world feel than others in New York. I sat there staring at the beautiful  brick wall, colorful pictures,and the artistic ceiling decal. Moments later I noticed that I wasn’t the only one admiring the “space”. There was a boy about my age, probably older, maybe nineteen sitting in a table stool not far from me. He was looking directly at me, and scribbling profoundly fast in his journal. It made me feel a bit uneasy, not that my chest didn’t either from my heart surgery scar, but like a “Oh my, I hope he doesn’t find me odd or unattractive.”. I was wishing that he wouldn’t come over to say hi, but I was. Something about him just made me stop thinking and go completely blank. I tilted my head down and continued to read the paper as before, of course I was on the front cover in bold, “Local Teen Found After Months”. When I looked up he was still there, glaring at me.

I had been walking for what seemed to be several days, months or, weeks on end without stopping. I couldn't believe I didn't recognize I’d passed the city limits. I only really took a break to rest or eat what I could, I was malnourished. It was more gut wrenchingly hard to just leave my family how I did. I knew my fellow employees would send cops to find me with my mother and sisters’ help if I were to miss a day of work not having called in first. But I kept on going anyway; just roaming along letting it all out. They missed me and I them but still I was left with this extreme amount of guilt and resentment latched upon my back like an eternal backpack that wouldn't easily been removed ( without some TLC ). After a month or two went by they eventually found me. They all had so many questions to ask. Lisa wanted to know why I did it, Momma May was just happy that I returned home safe at least for now. When we got there I felt a sensation of relief and solace stepping into the front door. I expected to be interrupted by Lisa's usual egotistical rant. “My god Odette where have you been?” asked Lisa. “We've all been worried sick; do you know that I left my job in New Hampshire” Each breath got shorter with every word. “for this - for you … you scared the hell out of me - and out of Momma ... .” I figure after what I did her argument wasn’t as selfish as I was acting at the time. She cried out: “Don't ever do that again.” I think that was the longest hug we've ever shared together. I promised her, “I won’t ever leave you.”, I looked up from out of her shoulder, “I will never leave either one of you.” We all embraced each other for what seemed to be an eternity.

A young woman with dark hair is wandering around in the forest, looking and gazing at the sights around her.