#elinor frell

It'd be foolish to try and get the car moving now, with road conditions as they are. But Hannah is almost tempted to try just to avoid the awkward and guilty weight stuck on her shoulders. It'd been haunting all of her interactions with Elinor for a while now, and the self-imposed silence had been killing her. It might be time to admit defeat and just... clear the air. They certainly deserve as much.

Her hands tighten on the steering wheel a little further, staring into the flurry of snow around them. The destination they had in mind merely an afterthought at this point. She can't even say she remembers it. Only that they had been going somewhere, and now weren't going anywhere except home once this cleared up, if it ever did. They might end up having to phone for help, which Hannah already dislikes. But getting stuck like this kind of felt like fate pushing Hannah to stop avoiding the best friend she ever had.

"I'm sorry." Is what she starts with, simple. The rest is harder. "For how weird I've been acting lately."

Hannah wouldn't really call herself a drinker. But lately, she finds herself indulging in the habit more and more. Perhaps to a degree that borders on it being a problem. She doesn't know where it comes from. It's not as though things have been any different for her than they usually are. It's all been mostly the same.

And maybe that's the problem. That it had all been mostly the same. That nothing substantial about her life had changed. Yes, she has new goals and new ambitions and is, objectively, doing new things. The core of her life, though, hasn't changed very much. She fills her days up with activities and busywork to distract from the fact that she has nothing and no one permanent. She is... Frankly, she's lonely.

And, maybe alcohol helps distract from that fact too. In the quiet moments where she has nothing to do to focus on, it seems to be doing the trick. Which might be why she's been drinking that god-awful combination of fruit punch and strawberry wine like it's water.

Though, she does regret having Elinor find her in such a state as this. She's learned rather recently that it makes her more open about her thoughts and opinions, which is never good for her. And probably won't be received well by them, either.

She's sat on the kitchen floor, staring up at them. She honestly forgot she invited them over in the first place. But, well, that's on her. This is pathetic, really. And not exactly the image she wants to leave one of her only friends with of herself.

"Hi, Eli." Another swig of the most disgusting drink she's ever tasted, followed by a frown and a shake of the head.

"Sorry you had to see this." Her words are starting to slur a little bit.