#eli scribbles

“Oh, don’t act surprised to see me, Michael.”

“Shawn?” Michael said in disbelief. “I- What are you doing here?” 

“Are you going to let me in?” Shawn asked expectantly, his arms crossed and his whole body being very stiff in general. 

“I’m not sure,” Michael hesitated, narrowing his eyes and giving his ex-coworker a look of distrust. With a soft gasp, he suddenly slammed the door on Shawn’s face, proceeding to then peek at him through the peephole of the door. “I’m dead, aren’t I? I’m dead and you’re my architect, darn it. I knew I shouldn’t have eaten all of those boxes of Kraft shells and cheese,” he said miserably. “Oh, all of the damn cholesterol. I just really liked the little shapes of the pasta-”

“What are you going on about?” Shawn snapped, cutting him off (which was something he should’ve done sooner). “You aren’t dead, you idiot,” he continued. “I’m not your architect. I would rather have my head flattened under a steamroller than have to endure the excruciating task of being your architect. Would you open the door?”

“Tell me why you’re here and maybe I’ll let you in,” Michael decided, still wary of Shawn’s appearance. 

“Michael, open the door,” Shawn insisted.

“No.”

“Michael-”

“No,” Michael stated stubbornly, leaning against his wooden door to keep it shut. 

“Oh, I get it. You’re afraid of me,” Shawn taunted. “Becoming human has made you go soft, huh? That’s fine, you could never quite match my superiority. This is probably for the best.”

Soon after, the door went flying open. In its place stood a very disgruntled Michael, arms crossed and nostrils flared. The amused smile of Shawn’s face proved that, whatever game they were playing, he had just won.

“For the record, I’m not afraid of you,” Michael scoffed. “Never have I ever been afraid of you, in fact. I mean, you’re true form isn’t even that intimidating. You’re only a 896 foot-”

“I wish you would stop wasting time with all of that talking. You look better when you’re quiet,” Shawn interrupted with a sarcastic smile on his face. He quickly pushed Michael out of his way and brushed past him to enter the apartment. He immediately began to scan the short hallway and the room surrounding him. With his nose wrinkled, he turned back to look at Michael, who had already shut the door and locked it, with disgust. 

“You live like this?” He asked. 

“What?” Michael responded defensively. “It’s nice.”

“That’s exactly the problem,” Shawn retorted. He turned his back to the other man once more and reached over to displace a straight picture frame that sat on the wall and make it crooked. “You like it like this? Where’s the mess, where’s the chaos?” He questioned. “Being human really has made you soft, huh?” He stepped further into the apartment to continue looking around. 

“It’s called basic human expectations,” Michael explained, “and, believe it or not, I prefer this over guts thrown all around and blood staining the floor. Here, you don’t have to worry about stepping in puddles of blood and it soaking through your shoes.” He shuddered at the thought as if remembering how disgusting it felt. 

“Hmm,” Shawn replied thoughtfully, knocking over a small glass figurine that was set up on the bookshelf. When it didn’t break, he swiped it off of the shelf entirely so that it fell on the ground and shattered. 

“If you could please refrain from breaking my things,” Michael said with a long sigh. “Alright, I let you in. Now, what do you want? It’s not my time yet, I’m not that old. You can’t legally kill me, that has to be against something in the judge’s rulebook.”

“As tempting as you’re making it, I’m not here to kill you,” Shawn replied, flicking over another small figurine. Reaching out, he slipped a book out of the bookshelf, opened it up, briefly skimmed through it, then ripped it clean in half.

Michael opened his mouth to speak but defaulted to sighing in defeat instead. Whatever Shawn was going to do, he was going to do whether Michael liked it or not. In fact, if Michael didn’t want him to do it, it was just more likely that he would do it. 

“Are you going to tell me what you’re here for?” 

Shawn said nothing, still doing the exact opposite of minding his business and going around the apartment. While he truly was fascinated by all the different trinkets, objects, and works of art that adorned the apartment, he was more interested in getting his hands on things to break beyond repair. Plus, he found joy in hearing Michael sigh with annoyance and aggravation. As he looked around, an item that caught his attention was one sitting on the coffee table right in front of the couch. As far as he could tell, it was a glass statuette of… a shrimp.

“A shrimp?” Shawn questioned, picking up the weighted figurine. 

“Put that down,” Michael said immediately, lunging forward in attempts to get the shrimp back from his former coworker. 

“Why?” Shawn asked, backing away. He childishly extended his arm in front of him to keep the distance between him and Michael while he held the figurine close to his chest. “I’ve broken so many of your things. Why is this any different? Honestly, the way you reacted just makes me want to break it even more,” he said with an amused hum. “Tell me and maybe I’ll spare it.”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I do it to remind me of…” Michael trailed off, not too eager to share his feelings with his arch nemesis for the past eternity. With a sigh, he continued, “I do it to remind me of my friends. Like, I have some of the boring, senseless books that Chidi would always read.”

Shawn glanced his peer up and down with a look of disgust on his face. He wasn't exactly gentle when he set it back down on the coffee table but at least he didn’t try to break it. Adjusting the lapel of his suit, he looked around even further, no doubt trying to find something that he could destroy.  

“Are you done being chaotic?” Michael asked. 

“Never,” Shawn retorted, finally giving his, hopefully, undivided attention to Michael. 

“Shawn, just tell me why you’re here,” Michael said. “No more games. I wasn’t expecting to see you at least for another twenty years. Why do you show up all of a sudden while I’m trying to live my life peacefully as a human..?” He stopped and let out a gasp. “Oh no, everything’s gone wrong again, hasn’t it?”

“What?” Shawn said, eyebrows knit together in confusion. 

“It’s all a big mess again!” Michael walked over to his couch and sat down, feeling defeated. “You’re coming to get me because something went wrong with the experiment and I need to be a demon again. I don’t get to be human Michael anymore.” He planted his palm on his forehead dramatically. “Oh, it was fun while it lasted! I’ll miss Fergie. I’ll miss Kraft singles even though we all know it isn’t real cheese. I’ll miss seeing children fall down a flight of stairs and get up completely unscathed.”

“Would you stop talking?” Shawn groaned as he rolled his eyes. “No. No, the experiment is going along just fine. It’s… perfect, actually, I must admit.” He glanced over to Michael and offered a mild scowl. “Don’t let it get to your head though. I was fine with the old way of doing things, too.”

“Didn’t you tell me that being with me is the most fun you had?” Michael asked, confused.

“That isn’t how I worded it,” Shawn snapped, raising his head a little higher. “I said that fighting with you has been the most fun I’ve had.” 

“Okay, and..?” Michael waited for the other to continue. 

“And that statement still stands,” Shawn said with a quiet huff. He glanced Michael up and down with a distasteful look on his face. “Traitor. First you left me when you started getting all warm and fuzzy with the humans, then you left me to become one of those warm and fuzzy humans!” He finished with a mock gag.  

“So, did you just come here to remind me that I was a traitor? That couldn’t have waited until I died and you saw me again?” Michael glanced around, still not catching on and picking up what Shawn was putting down. “That doesn’t explain why you’re here.”

“You know, if there’s an award for having the thickest skull, you are the one and only nominee,” Shawn commented offhandedly. “That’s not the point I’m trying to make right now.”

Michael cocked his head slightly and raised his eyebrows, still terribly confused by what on earth the other man was trying to tell him. “So what is the point?” he asked. 

“My point is that you were- are my arch nemesis and suddenly you think you can just up and leave?” Shawn scoffed, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall opposite to Michael. “You think I’d be okay with that? You think I would just let you go?”

“So, you ARE taking me back to become a demon again?” Michael questioned. 

“No- I’m- I don’t have the power to do that,” Shawn hesitated. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

“I don’t know what there is to get!” Michael exclaimed. Suddenly, a thought struck him and, following a gasp, he put his hand over his mouth and stared at Shawn with wide eyes. “You missed me!” he shouted, jumping up from the couch. “You just can’t bring yourself to admit it, can you?”

“I didn’t say I missed you!” Shawn argued. “I’m just not used to having no one to fight.”

“So, what, you decided to become human just so you can keep fighting me?” Michael wondered aloud. “That’s stupid. You’re actually a good architect, why would you leave that position?” He paused for a moment, raising an eyebrow. “That is unless you do really miss me.”

“I never said that, and I never said I became human!” Shawn replied. 

“You had to have become human, there’s no way they let you come down here otherwise,” Michael pointed out. “Unless you snuck down here to see me,” he suggested. 

“Stop making assumptions,” Shawn shot back. 

“You missed me, just admit it!” Michael said cheerfully, doing a small victory dance around the coffee table. “Oh, boy, my first friend since becoming human!”

“Who said I was your friend?” Shawn tried to say although his protests were completely ignored by the other man as he celebrated. “Did you miss the whole part where I called you my arch nemesis.”

“Yes,” Michael stopped his little dance, “but you coming here means that you care… And it means that you missed me!”

Shawn opened his mouth and tried to think of something to say, but all that came out was a series of unintelligible noises. He had no rebuttal, especially since Michael was spot on with his assumptions. Frustrated and unsure what to do with himself, Shawn reacted in the only way he knew how, by expressing anger by shouting and slamming doors. 

“Shut up, Michael. You don’t know if any of that is true,” Shawn said, upset. Before Michael had a chance to respond, he stormed out of the apartment and slammed the door shut behind him, leaving Michael alone in his apartment once again. 

Michael felt disappointed, he couldn’t deny that. It was nice to see a familiar face, although not a very nice one, after being surrounded by strangers and failing to make friends for months. He wondered if maybe he was out of line for the things he said and that the assumptions he made were wrong. Moments later, however, there was a knocking at his door in which he got up to answer it once again.

Surprised once more he was to find himself face to face with Shawn again. 

Shawn slumped over slightly and let out a defeated sigh.