#elfincleona

She’s going to have to be around a very scared me who is really doubting herself right now. My parents have been making little comments on things they would’ve done differently in planning. Little criticisms. (Mainly about where we’re visiting and that I’ll be living out of a backpack for traveling and summer school.)

And it’s driving me mad.

I don’t know whether or not I’m excited to actually go or terrified to leave the criticism and stay within my comfortable bubble of prairie land.

Put it like that, yes, of course I want to go. But paying for everything, making sure we get where we need to go on time, is terrifying.

I’m going to see amazing sites and learn interesting things. Why am I terrified? Is it because I’m not getting any “You’re doing great, Sammy” from my parents with some of the initiative or planning I did (my friend did a ton of planning too and took a lot of initiative)? Or that I’m planning a trip with someone and therefore going onto a higher level of teamwork? Or that I’m actually going to see some of the world?

I just want to hear “You did good, Sammy. It’s going to be fine.”