#elexie

"Being on duty doesn't sound like a valid answer to the overall question though."

Eyes staring listlessly at the wall across from me as I sat there on the carpet outside the bedroom door I was guarding. That innocent looking elf's words reflecting in my head. Considering the company he kept, I doubted he truly was but he was the only one who seemed to be enjoying the concert among us. Either way, he was right, it wasn't a valid answer. I hoped he'd take the bait and clam up, he didn't. "I only attend these events when a client demands it or the job requires it." The best lies told are wrapped around a core of truth. I hadn't attended an event like this unless I was being drug there by a client. But the truth was, there was a time I enjoyed them too. And that was entirely a moment of weakness. "He's married to duty, Elexie." The statement Vynlorin spoke was not incorrect. Or was it? If it were fully true, would I have let my guard down and let that weakness in back then? If I was wholly devoted to my duty, would he still be missing? Leo's muzzle sat against my leg for some time now through the night in silence. I'd lost the will to pry deeper into what truths lie behind the facade of the starry canine that seemed strangely attached to me. Tonight, I simply didn't care and gave in to the dog's comfort. But comfort was far from what I felt. "Take the job Stone. You need it. Yer not gunna find the kid, just let it go fer fuck's sake and get out of 'ere." Jaques's words were both needed and true. It wasn't that I'd given up, not entirely. I'd -never- failed as bad as I had this time and as the years passed it became apparent I wasn't going to find him. Olave was right afterall, I'd gone soft and now I was paying the price. Why did I take this job? Because I needed a distraction from the sleepless nights these last several years as my efforts seemed futile. If he was still alive, he knew how to hide or be hidden even from me impressive as that was. Why wasn't I enjoying a dance? Because I had my last dance the moment I had my first. I can't afford to make that mistake again. My family and our teachings be damned, I was sick of trying to swim through this trip down memory lane after hearing the songs played tonight. Songs he'd sang time and time again to his clientele, to me. Now they only played in my head. I could only hope the voices of the void in this place would grow thick enough in time that they'd drown out the sound. So I studied them closer, closer...

She and Stefan were just...over, and she still found herself unsure what to think of it... Of all of it. Maybe this was just the part of her that couldn't believe it, after everything they had gone through. The part that really got to her, ending things with him... it felt right, like it was the best thing for them both. She sighed to herself, outside...to just get some air and think... Figure out what to do next. Footsteps approaching caused the young vampire to turn around. "Lexi..."