#election reflection

This election result felt like one of the most thrilling days in my life — not because everything went the way I wanted, but because something unexpected happened. To be honest, my dislike for DMK is stronger than my support for BJP. My concerns have always been around nepotism, what I perceive as minority appeasement, and a certain arrogance in governance. So, seeing DMK lose — and Stalin…

Note: I usually stay far away from expressing my opinions on social media when it comes to politics and I really don't want to start any arguments, but I need to get this out there because I feel the views of my students on the current events are important to show the world.

 Thursday's lunch with 2nd grade started like this: Me: "Hello, how are you?" Students: "I'm hungry! I'm fine!" *students try to express a question about how I feel about the presidential election results* Me: "…I'm angry and I'm sad."

 Wednesday night, I was shocked learning the fate of my country. I could not believe it, and I kind of still can't. I felt like crying and screaming and throwing up all at the same time. I half-jokingly asked my Australian friend if I could claim I was Australian from here on out because who wants to be associated with such a bigot? She said no. It's not like America is the only country with racism issues. But in that moment I felt so ashamed of America. I'm still not sure how I feel, so I guess angry and sad can sum it up for now.

I went to school on Thursday, and I was expecting comments from my coworkers. I walked in, sat down, and one of my fellow teachers just looked at me, and I said, "Don't give me that look! It's not my fault." And he said, "What is America doing?!" To which I responded, "I don't know! I really don't know."

So, yes, I had been expecting questions from my fellow teachers, but what I wasn't expecting was the questions from my 5th and 6th graders. My 10- and 11-year-old students showed me that they know better! They asked me why! What kind of an answer am I supposed to give them for why the American public appears to have chosen a racist, prejudice, arrogant, insulting person to be the leader of a country that is supposed to have open arms to welcome people of all backgrounds together and create freedom and peace? How am I supposed to explain that the country I'm from, which I teach them was founded on the ideals of liberty and equality, is now reverting back to lording fear and hatred over certain groups of people?

These kids are 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 years old and they don't live in that country. Many of them will possibly never even visit America. They are years away from being able to vote in their own country. They really have no reason to even know about the election itself, let alone know who's running and what their platforms and views are, and yet they do. And they care. And they can see that America has made a huge mistake that it can't take back. What am I supposed to say to them?

I've spoken with some close American family and friends both at home and living abroad. The messages were coming in like a flurry on Wednesday evening and Thursday morning with notes of shock and concern and anguish. The news headlines tell me of riots and KKK demonstrations and countries around the world in disbelief. That's another thing: I am scared. There is so much uncertainty. And not the good or even neutral uncertainty, but the bad kind of uncertainty where you're just waiting for the next thing that's going to turn the world on its up-end.

Some of the questions I've been getting are about what this means for me personally going forward. Well, to be honest, I feel really lucky to have gotten into the JET Programme when I did and to have ended up in such a wonderful place. I'm really loving my job and my new home and the community I'm gradually becoming more a part of. With the current state of things, it's pretty easy to say, 'You know what? A presidential term only lasts 4 years before we have to decide again. (thank god!) I'll take full advantage of my ability to stay abroad for as long as I can, thank you very much.' So, yeah, things aren't set in stone, but those back home may not see me for at least another 4 years.

On the upside, it means Yuni's kids are lucky to keep me! And it just means I have to try harder to be a positive model of an American. I will do my darndest not to let a stint of hatred and bigotry ruin what I stand for as an American and how people view Americans.

2016 has been a loopty-loop of impossibilities coming true. I guess maybe Brexit was a warning sign? And why did the Cubs have to decide this was the year they were gonna win the World Series and shove their curse off onto the election, clearly? (I know literally nothing about the sports. I legitimately mistakenly said they won the football game championship thing the other day...turns out it’s baseball.) I’m keeping my finger crossed that there’s not another Mayan calendar or something that predicts the world’s end floating around somewhere.

 Anyway, have some related Hamilton quotes because I'm Hamiltrash: