#elcat

TITLE: It’s nice to meet you, finally.

FANDOM: Fire Emblem Heroes

WARNINGS AND RATING: Rated T, for implied Anxiety and Depression

Am I a simp for my gf? Yes, yes I am.

Looking for a brand new start

But little does she know that when she left that day

Along with her she took my heart

I moved to the Netherlands last year, and I flew back for Christmas, isolated with my gf (who was still in the UK) and her family (whom I'd never met before, so it was trial by fire). They were wonderful and amazing people and I had a brilliant time

Then the new strain, air travel cancelled, I didn't know when I'd be able to get back so for work purposes I decided to leave ASAP but I didn't want to get the train from London so I booked a ticket for the last ferry. Called my family (who I hadn't seen yet) and told them I wouldn't be home and I was leaving that night. My mum was angry, my dad was upset and my brother cried. I also cried all the way to the port while my gf held me long and tight

We arrived to be told they'd banned foot and car passengers on the ferry in the past few minutes. It felt like a stress had been lifted and I was so exhausted. I proceeded to cry some more and fell asleep for 12 hours to recover from the day before

We had a few more days together and I loved each one more than the last. We painted, cooked, did uni work, watched movies, played with her hamster, helped her sister with physics

I went back home home to see my family for a few days, with no idea when I'd next be back to NL. But then the negative PCR rule was brought in and the same spark of hope of returning, was the thing that burnt me when I realised I had to leave. My gf travelled back with me to home home and she met my family - they weren't as welcoming as hers, but they were accepting which is at least a good sign

I showed her my home town, the city, my schools, my favourite places to walk, my pets and my childhood through the walls of the house which are decorated with more pictures than wallpaper at this point. We made a birthday cake for my brother, had a movie marathon, had a NYE kiss and made endless cocktails as I taught her the ropes

I fly back to the Netherlands tomorrow. She left yesterday. We cried after our last dinner together, we cried on the way to the station. We cried waiting for the train. It was a late one so the station was empty. We were standing in the middle of an empty station hugging, crying. I'm sure it would've been a great picture, but that was the last thought on my mind as the only girl I care about has gone away, and along with her she took my heart. I'm so sorry I left, but I promise I'll come back

Rain won't you tell her that I love her so

Please ask the sun to set her heart aglow

Does my mum still hate me like she did when I was a younger?

Does my dad still not believe I've recovered from bulimia and anorexia?

Does my brother still get scared every time I say I'm having wine with dinner because he knows I'm an alcoholic?

Does my sister still constantly watch over me because I spiral down very far and very fast?

Does my gf forgive me for my past relationship mistakes?

Does my friend worry they're going to come in and find me bleeding on my floor again?

Does my auntie keep her health problems from me as not to add to my stress pile?

Does my coursemate feel disappointed because I left for abroad and we need each other?

Does my flatmate tell his friends about the dishes in my room because I'm too depressed to wash up?

Does my godmother think I'm lazy for not cooking when I don't even leave my bed?

Does my supervisor wonder how someone this broken still got a job?