#eggvid angst

David was upstairs in his home, closing the buttons of his shirt, when he heard someone entering downstairs. He frowned softly and grabbed his gun from his bedside table, carefully walking downstairs. Checking the front door, he realized it was locked and stood still for a moment. Was he hearing things?

He rolled his eyes at himself and stepped towards the kitchen, gun raised and ready. But as he crossed the threshold, he recognized the intruder immediately. “Oh for fucks sake!” he lowered his gun. “You can’t just come in here without a warning!”

Eggsy raised his eyebrows, leaning against the counter. “I have a key?” David put his gun down on the counter, ignoring his comment. “So…”

“What are you doing here?” David asked and glanced at his watch. He had to leave for work soon.

“I wanna talk,” he said. “Right now. Not later, not tomorrow.”

Dave bit back a sigh and nodded. “Give me a moment.” He went back upstairs and got his suit jacket and badge. It wasn’t long before he was back in Eggsy’s presence, finishing getting himself ready for the day.

Eggsy’s eyes wandered over him as he closed the buttons of his blue suit, looking handsome as always.

"So? I have to be at work soon. And shouldn't you be out saving the world somewhere?" he asked curtly, grabbing his badge.

Eggsy snorted softly. "First of all, I can't save the world if I’m worrying about you." he said and saw David's face fell a little. "And I talked to Kim. You have the day off." Eggsy crossed his arms over his chest.

"You can't just cancel my work. There are people who need me and-." he protested.

"Yes, I can. Because I need you right now. We have something to talk about." he spoke gently, but David could see he wouldn't take 'No' for an answer.

"Alright." he nodded gently, putting his badge and gun away.

"Okay." he exhaled softly. "Let's go for a walk? I could use some fresh air."

David nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Let's go then."

-

It was warm outside, sun was shining a little even though some clouds were covering the sky. It would probably rain later. The two had been walking at a slow pace, side by side, in an odd silence. Eggsy glanced over at David for what seemed like the 100th time, and gathered the courage to start the conversation. "Why did you do it?"

"Do what?" David asked, looking over at him.

"Push me away." Eggsy said gently.

"I'm…" Dave clenched his jaw and stared into the distance, continuing to walk. He knew the answer, but he also knew that wasn't a good enough reason for Eggsy. He wanted to protect him and get him away from these dangerous circumstances and odd phases he would have from time to time.

Eggsy noticed his silence and proposed an idea to get it moving a bit more. "How's about getting some breakfast first? I'm starving."

"Sounds good." David nodded and followed him into a cafe nearby. He got them a table in the corner of the room for some privacy and sat down.

Eggsy ordered them some scrambled eggs with tomatoes and a nice warm bagel. "I hope that's alright."

"Thank you." he nodded. The smell made his mouth water and they started eating instantly.

After a few minutes, Eggsy spoke again. "Listen Dave, I'm not mad or anything. I just wanna talk about what happened and figure this out. That's alright?" he asked gently and David nodded slowly.

"About that night… I'm sorry for snapping at you," he said and looked at him, apologetically.

"Did you ever love me? Or was I just someone to help pass the time?" he asked bluntly. David's eyes widened a little.

"Of course I love you." he protested. "Eggsy I…I didn't say what I said because I stopped loving you."

He nodded, feeling relieved. "You broke my heart, you know," he said quietly and stared at his plate, tears brimming his eyes. "Saying you don't believe in me loving you," he added in a low tone.

David bit his lip thinking back. That really hadn't been fair. "I'm -."

Eggsy cut him off. "So I went back to my place, thinking about it. Thinking about what I did or didn't do to make you feel this way." he raised his eyebrows at him. "Because you get pretty honest when you're emotional."

David put down his fork and shook his head. "It's not that I don't believe you or in your love," he said and looked at him, hoping he'd believe him. "It's just… that I don't want to. Because I'm… Because I don't deserve it." he said quietly, throat tightening a little.

Eggsy carefully took his hand and David let him. "Yes, you do, David. You deserve every tiny bit of love I have for you." he scanned him over for a moment. But he could tell he wasn’t convinced. "Let's finish eating and talk outside, okay?" he asked and Dave nodded, Eggsy squeezed his hand softly.

-

They continued walking through town, quiet at first, both caught up in their thoughts. Eggsy replayed that night over and over again in his head, thinking about how hurt he was and how he just wanted them to be okay again.

David knew he wasn't in the right space to do him any good at the moment. But how could he protect Eggsy's pure heart if not even that evening could convince him to stay away for good?

Suddenly, a loud bang made both men flinch and get out of their thoughts. Before Eggsy could react, David already guarded him with his own body. Eggsy realized what the noise had been and looked up at him, gently cupping his face. "Dave, breathe," he spoke softly, feeling him shaking. "It was just a balloon, we're safe."

David exhaled and the shock slowly lessened. "I'm sorry," he said quietly and bit his lip.

"It's okay, we're okay," he said and rubbed his side. And before he knew what he was doing, Eggsy pulled him into a hug and David buried his face in his shoulder. He held him close and gently fondled over his hair. "Breathe, love. Nice and easy." he encouraged him softly.

Dave held onto Eggsy for a moment, the familiar touches calming him a little. "I'm sorry, I thought it was -." he sighed.

"I know, it's alright." Eggsy assured him. He squeezed him softly and pulled back. "Let's go?" he asked, offering him his hand.

David nodded and took it, following his lead into a park. They sat down at a bench, still holding hands. The simple touch grounding them both.

"Eggsy, I gotta be honest with you." he started and glanced at him shortly. "I love you. I really do and you mean so much to me...But I - I don't think I can handle a relationship right now." he spoke as his eyes brimmed with tears. "And I know you deserve so much better than this, but I just can't right now."

"I know." he said quietly and nodded, tears in his own eyes. "I'll always be there for you and...you take all the time you need, okay?" he put on a brave smile, but a tear fell down his cheek. "But promise me one thing, David. Take care of yourself…and let me check up on you from time to time."

He nodded and bit his lip, holding back tears. "Okay." Their eyes met for a moment and David pulled him onto his lap, hugging him tightly.

Eggsy rested his head against his shoulder and held him close. Physically, it felt comfortable, but his mind was still wandering. "We'll be okay, right? This isn't the end for us?" he asked quietly.

"This isn't the end." he shook his head and rubbed his back. "We'll be okay one day"

They stayed there for a while, just holding each other. Neither of them wanted this, but knew it was best to be apart for the time being.

"I'll always love you. Okay?" Dave asked softly.

"I'll always love you too." Eggsy nodded, giving him a gentle squeeze.

Two months later...

Things had been okay since their conversation that day. David went back to therapy and saw Eggsy a few times a week. They were still close, just not a couple at the moment. Both of them felt comfortable with it, getting closer and understanding one another better as friends.

But one day, Dave got a call from Roxy, telling him something went wrong on Eggsy's mission and he was on his way back to London. He had been shot several times and lost a lot of blood. There was a possibility he wouldn't make it.

David was at Kingsman's headquarters in no time, meeting Roxy who led him through the compound. They waited there for Eggsy to arrive and once he saw him, his stomach turned. He was covered in blood, pale and barely breathing.

"Dave." he whimpered softly in pain, seeing him.

He went over and grabbed his hand. "I'm here. You'll be okay, love." he said and gently fondled back his hair. "Don't you dare giving up."

"Won't…gimme a kiss." he said quietly and smiled as he did. "See ya, luv."

David squeezed his hand and let go off him to let the doctors work. "See ya" he whispered anxiously. Roxy rubbed his arm gently and led him to a sitting area, staying with him to support her friends. Now, the waiting game.

-

Eggsy had been in surgery for hours and they almost lost him. David had been there the whole time, anxiously waiting for someone to tell him he'd be okay. He didn't sleep all night and made his way to Eggsy's room as soon as they allowed him.

He stepped in quietly and exhaled softly as he saw him there sleeping. Dave made his way over and gently took his hand into his, rubbing his knuckles.

Sitting down heavily, he held his hand in both of his and planted a soft kiss onto his knuckles. Suddenly, his brain seemed to realize what just happened and his eyes brimmed with tears, relieved that Eggsy was alright. He closed his eyes and felt tears make their way down his cheeks before dropping onto their hands. His eyes opened as he felt Eggsy's hand wiping his cheeks.

"Hey handsome. No reason to cry." he said softly.

"Oh yes, I do." he insisted, looking down at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." he said, teasing and bit back a grin.

David couldn't hold back a soft laugh. "You're the worst sometimes. And a fucking idiot for going out there alone without backup...I told you about that a thousand times"

"Just like I told you you're perfect to me a thousand times." he shot back.

"Seems we both have trouble listening." David chuckled weakly and squeezed his hand. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'll be more careful the next time." he said and smirked as David just snorted softly, rolling his eyes. He fully took in David’s appearance and his heart ached a bit. "You should get some sleep. You look tired."

David nodded and got up. "I better get going then."

Eggsy grabbed his hand. "I…I think you should stay." he said softly and scooted over a little to make some room for him.

"Are you sure?" he asked softly. Eggsy nodded and so he settled down in bed next to him. David smiled as Eggsy cuddled up into him a little.

They were silent for a moment. "Dave?" he asked gently.

"Mmm?" he hummed tiredly.

"Can you stay? Like before?" he asked quietly. "I miss you."

He was quiet for a bit before answering. "Yeah, I can stay. I miss you too."

Eggsy pushed himself up to look at him and smiled softly. "Gimme a kiss" he smirked.

David kissed him lovingly before letting him rest against him. "We should get some sleep. I love you."

"Love ya too." he smiled.