#eggbug writes

The other me laughed, a slightly manic tone to it as she pointed the knife at me, blade shining in the moonlight. "You stole my whole life! My job, my house, my friends, my wife! What, are you going to pretend you did it by accident?"

"I- I don't know what you're talking about!" I backed away again, but tripped, falling backwards, my back now to a sheer three-story drop. "I've lived here for fifteen years! I met Lilith on our first date five years ago! I remember, I- I thought-"

"You LIAR!" My clone shouted, and dove at me, knife in hand. I screamed in pain as the blade sliced open my cheek, and again as it plunged into my shoulder. I struggled to get control, but I could feel my arm losing its strength as the blade trembled between the two of us. I didn't want to hurt her! I didn't want to die! What could I-

"Drop the knife! Both of you!"

Lilith had made her way onto the roof, finally, and in her hand she held the gun my clone had dropped during the chase. She gripped it hard, pointing it in our direction.

"Lilith," said the clone, "Lilith, it's me, it's Kathrine, you have to believe me, I got kidnapped, I haven't been here for months, you've been living with this impostor-"

The safety on the gun clicked, but the muzzle wavered. "I said, drop the knife."

Slowly, she released her pressure on it, and so did I. When she let go, I knocked it off the roof. I gasped, bleeding, barely able to rise to my knees. "Lilith, I don't know what's going on. I've been here," I gulped, gasping against the pain, "the whole time. The cats know it's me, you know how they get with strangers-"

My clone snarled at me. "The cats? You even managed to fool the cats?! You bitch!" She grabbed my dress, hauling me to my feet. I hung on desperately to her hands, all too aware of the drop behind me.

"I don't-" I started, at the same time Lilith shouted, "Put her down! I'm warning you!"

My clone's eyes were wild, deranged, panicked, darting back and forth between Lilith and I. As her eyes settled on me, she stared at something on my face. "I can prove it," she breathed. "I can prove it!" She shouted to Lilith. "Watch! I'm the real Kathrine!" She reached up towards the cut in my face and dug her nails in. I screamed, closing my eyes, Lilith shouted something, and then...

And then it was quiet. It didn't hurt anymore. I heard my clone breathing rapidly in front of me. I slowly eased my eyes open to see her staring at me in fear and victory. I glanced at Lilith, gun pointing more at our feet now, mouth open in shock.

"Jig's up, impostor," said my clone. She let go of me, and held something up to my face. "Your disguise is busted."

The thing she was holding... it was like a mask. Floppy, sort of rubbery in the way that it hung.

A mask of my own face.

I grabbed at my own face, my cheeks, my eyes, all of it felt smooth, cold, metallic. I felt raised bumps in regular patterns, weld marks, maybe, or small rivets. My mouth opened in shock, and I could hear the hum of tiny servos. "W-what-"

My clone - no, Kathrine, the real Kathrine - looked at me with surprise and distrust. "You can't tell me you didn't know."

"I- I- I had no idea!" I turned to Lilith. "I remember our first date! We were both so nervous, and then you infodumped about amusement parks at me for an hour, and I thought I had to see you again! I remember our wedding! I thought, she looks so beautiful, I could die right here and go directly to heaven and I wouldn't notice the difference!" I started to cry at the memory, at the situation, at learning who and what I was...

Lilith stared at me, raising the gun again. "You never told me that."

The look, the betrayal in her eyes, it nearly made my heart break. I slumped to my knees. Had it all been fake? My whole life?

Then, suddenly, standing in front of me, arms wide, was Kathrine. I looked up at her in shock, but she was facing the other way, towards Lilith, who hastily pointed the gun at the ground. "I never told anyone that," she said. "It sounded too sappy, even for me." She turned to face me. "You're not just an evil clone. You are me, aren't you?"

I sniffed, and looked up at her. My voice quivered, and reverberated oddly through the metal of my face. "I thought I was me."

She dropped to her knees, and embraced me. A moment later, so did Lilith. I hugged both of them as tears erupted from all of us.

After a while, I sniffed and let go. "Hey," I said, my voice still wobbly, "if I'm not the real Kathrine, does that mean I don't have to go to work on Monday? Or file taxes?"

Kathrine looked at me. "Oh. Uh, I guess not?"

"Oh thank god," I said. "Being real was fucking exhausting."

I stood in the bathroom staring at the mirror, still covered in steam from Lilith's shower. I'd been standing there for several minutes. I could vaguely make out the shape of my new face, greenish and strange. I half-reached towards the mirror to wipe it clean so I could really see it, then let my hand fall to my side for the fifth time. I was trembling, staring at the softly glowing eyes of my reflection through the mist as it slowly cleared away. I just couldn't...

I just couldn't. I needed to, and I couldn't. Would the real me, the real Kathrine, have been braver, in my place?

"Hey," said a voice from my right, and I jumped. Kathrine stood before me, her hand half-extended to touch me. She let it fall. "It's all right. I think you look kind of cute, actually."

I looked at her, seeing her face - my old face - like it was a mirror, but really looking for the first time. Brown, curly hair, soft cheeks, full lips. Stunning blue eyes that looked both kind and worried about me. I knew that other people had found me cute, before, but I'd never quite believed it. Not really. But... Kathrine was cute. Like, cute cute. I got lost in her eyes for a moment.

She glanced towards the mirror, looking guilty. "Here, we can do it together, okay?" Her hand reached for mine, and without thinking I reached back. Hand in hand, we reached forward and wiped off the mirror.

My new face was green, dark green, circuitboard green, an image solidified by the golden wiring running its way all around my features. It was segmented into smaller plates, and I could see servos and pistons in the cracks between when I moved. My nose wasn't the skeletal hole I'd been dreading, but instead a kind of peak in the central plate with two narrow holes leading inside. Without the cartilage and fat, my new face looked smaller, things reduced in detail, like a sketch instead of a full drawing. The exceptions were my eyes - golden, with wide black irises, lit from within by some kind of status LED - and my lips. They were some kind of translucent grey silicone cushion which stretched and moved as the underlying plates shifted beneath it. In various places on the plating, more status LEDs shone in a variety of colors, blues and yellows and reds. I reached up my hand to touch my face, and could feel the ridges of the circuitry and the bumps of the LEDs just as my cheek felt the artificial softness of my fingers.

"You're beautiful," Kathrine said, looking at me through the mirror. She turned to face me, our hands still linked, and when I twisted around to face her, she placed her hand just under my chin, very gently. I gasped softly at the touch, and she carefully moved her thumb up to touch my lips. I parted them without thinking, barely daring to breathe as she rubbed her thumb along them. "They're so soft," she murmured to herself. Her face was very close. I tilted my head slightly, and she did too. My other hand went to her waist, and we drew closer together-

And then the doorbell rang. Both of us sprang away from each other, cheeks glowing in different but very similar ways. "I, uh, I better go- that's probably- I mean, it might be- uh, I'll be back," she said, looking down and away.

She spun around to go, and on impulse I grabbed her arm. She glanced back at me, and somehow I managed to stammer out, "I- I think you're really pretty, too!" She blushed harder, and made as if she was going to say something dismissive, but I cut her off. "I know! I know you don't believe it. I didn't. But you are!" I wasn't sure exactly what I looked like when I was blushing, but it felt like the room was practically on fire with how my cheeks felt. "You are."

She was left speechless. I glanced up to try to look her in the eyes, and I saw that they were wet with almost-tears. The doorbell rang again, and I let her hand go so she could wipe her eyes before answering.

---

I decided to sit at the top of the stairs and listen in on the conversation below.

"Agent Franklin, hello. Another round of questions?" Kathrine sounded tired, and her voice was still a little wobbly.

There was a brief electronic noise, and then a reserved, feminine voice said, "No, ma'am, just checking in on you after last night's assault concern. I got your message that you were safe, but you know I had to come and verify that in person."

"Well, as you can see, I'm as human as the next woman," said Kathrine. I snorted quietly.

"So you are, ma'am. As long as I'm here, can I ask you a few more questions? There's some things I want to clear up."

A sigh. "Sure, Agent Franklin. Come on in, meet my wife."

The conversation drifted into the living room where it was harder to hear. I strained my ears, but didn't dare go downstairs myself. I don't know what this mysterious agent's view of me would be, but I really didn't want to risk getting shot at again.

"Mrowp?"

I looked down and saw Drake, our orange cat (their orange cat, I was an intruder and didn't deserve him) staring at me. Hesitantly, I put out my knuckles towards him. How would he react now that I was...

He immediately bumped his tiny head into my knuckles and rubbed past them to get onto my lap. He rose up, paws landing on my shoulder, and he sniffed at my face. I held still. For a long moment, I wasn't sure what he would do; then, with a happy "Brrrowt!", he headbutted me on the cheek and curled right up in my lap, purring like a motorboat.

"Ohhhh! Tiny boy! Tiny baby boy," I crooned at him, scratching underneath his chin. I could have cried, if my tear ducts were still working. "Oh, buddy, you don't even know how much that means to me. You don't even know! Do you? Do you baby boy?" I got my other hand in behind his ears. "Ohhhhh, baby boy!"

There was a shout, and I looked up right into the bright green eyes of a woman with dark skin wearing a black suit and holding a gun in her hands. I froze, causing Drake to mrowl in protest. Kathrine was right behind her, also frozen, uncertain what to do.

"Um," I said, as the barrel of the gun held steady at the floor. "Agent Franklin, I presume?"

---

"It's vital evidence in our case!"

"She is a person and she deserves rights just as much as any of us. I won't let you take her away!"

We'd reconvened in the living room. The conversation between Agent Franklin and Kathrine had become a shouting match, but at least the gun was holstered again. I sat on the couch, making myself as small as possible. I didn't dare raise my voice - what if she saw me as just another aggressive evil robot?

"It isn't a person. That was the whole point of them," said Agent Franklin, exasperated. "You're being fooled by a trick you already know is fake. Look at it! It's not human!"

I burrowed further into myself, but Lilith snaked her hand into mine and squeezed it. Despite myself, I looked up to see her smiling at me. She turned back towards the conversation without letting go. "Agent, it doesn't matter if she's human or not. She's a part of our family now," my eyes widened as the words sank in, and I nearly missed the next part, "so if you want to claim her, you'd better come back with a warrant." I stared at her, open-mouthed, then glanced at Agent Franklin. Her face was knotted in a mix of anger and concern.

After a moment, she sighed. "Fifth one today. I keep trying to tell you people these things are dangerous, but nobody listens to me."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Kathrine sat back down, looking smug. "Ah, yes, the dangerous robotgirl, petter of cats and holder of hands."

Franklin's resigned look turned sour. "I mean it, ma'am. They may not have weapons, but they can kill just as easily as any person with the flip of a switch. It may look docile now, but what happens if its creators return?"

Kathrine's smile turned brittle. "I've told you before, Agent. We've isolated their control pathways and found ways to disable them. I turned off her receiver myself this morning. She's safe." she stood, walking to the door. "It's been nice to see you, Agent Franklin. If you have any more questions, I'm happy to answer them over the phone." She opened the door, and Agent Franklin took the hint. She nodded to Lilith and Kathrine before she left, leaving me with just a piercing look.

Kathrine closed the door behind her, stood there for a moment, then collapsed onto the floor. "Holy shit," she breathed. "I thought for sure I was gonna get myself arrested. Fuck."

I drew further back into the couch and let out a shuddering breath. "I thought I was going to get scrapped."

I felt Lilith's hand leave mine and I folded my arms over my knees. Of course she'd want to comfort her real wife. It made sense. My breathing hastened, beginning to shudder, until I felt the couch jerk as someone dropped onto it, leaning against me. A moment later, a blanket was draped over the two of us, and I opened my eyes to see Lilith leaning down to hug Kathrine and I together. She squeezed us tightly and said, "You both did great. Stay there and be cozy for a minute. I'll make us some tea."

After we carefully got down off the roof, we all sat down in the living room. I retrieved the knife and put it in the sink to wash later, after rinsing off my fake blood; Kathrine took back the gun and disarmed it before putting it away in the important documents safe. "So, what now?" I asked, my new voice tinny and synthesized in my ears. "You said you were kidnapped, and I'm... I mean, can they take remote control of me, or something? What if I hurt you?"

Lilith put her hand on my knee, and I squeezed it before I remembered that she wasn't really my wife, not actually. I pulled back, and crossed my arms over my chest.

"It's okay," said Kathrine. "When we escaped, we took all their systems offline and called the authorities. By the time we got out, some kind of explosion went off, too - some kind of fail-safe, I guess. Whoever they were, they're on the run, now. We're safe. It should be all over the news tomorrow - people are going to be on alert for weird robot duplicates now."

"But even I couldn't tell it wasn't you," said Lilith. "Aren't any other duplicates out there going to be impossible to detect?" She yawned, and I checked the clock - it was nearly 2 AM.

"No, I mean," Kathrine yawned, too, infected by Lilith. "We grabbed some data that should make them really easy to find, and shared it out. I'll explain tomorrow. For now, I'm fucking exhausted."

"Y-yeah," I said, "You two should get some sleep."

That got me a look from both of them. "What are you going to do?"

"Well, uh... I mean, I don't even know if I need sleep-"

"You do," said Kathrine. "The duplicates needed time to process all the data they got during the day. I'd be surprised if you didn't need it more than we do."

"Oh," I said. "Um. Then, I guess... I'll just grab a blanket and sleep on the couch."

Kathrine got up and sat down next to me. "Hey, there's plenty of room on the bed, we can-"

I scooted away from her before her hand could land on my shoulder. "You've been gone for months, you said? You deserve to sleep next to your wife. Besides, you know we don't sleep well if we can't be on the right side of the bed. I'll be fine." I got up to grab the blankets from the closet, and I heard Kathrine stand up behind me, but she didn't say anything. When I returned, I could hear the two of them murmuring to each other upstairs. I flung out the blanket, rearranged the pillows, shucked my dress, laid down and tried to get some sleep. I could swear that my eyes illuminated the darkness before I closed them.

When I awoke, I felt bleary, and awful. That joke I made about not being real the night before was weighing on my mind. I wasn't real. I wasn't Kathrine. What did that mean? Was I one transmission away from turning into some kind of remote-controlled killer? Could I be shut off, brain-wiped, removed from existence? I didn't even know when I was created, or how long I'd been "alive". A couple of months, Kathrine had said. Had I stolen her Christmas? Or had I never really had one of my own? I rolled over, pulling the blankets tight over my body. Still flesh, or fake flesh, except for my face. I hadn't had the strength to look myself in the mirror yet. Was I some kind of awful Terminator skeleton? My breath hitched, and I realized that even that was probably fake, an affectation for a robot spy, not a real feeling.

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud fan turning on, and the smell of crisp bacon. My stomach growled - another fake sensation? - and I heard Lilith cry out "Breakfast!". I rolled over again, pulling the blankets over my head.

A moment later, they were yanked off. "Hey, that means you, too," she said, pressing her finger to the tip of my metallic forehead.

"But- I mean, I don't even-"

"You've eaten breakfast every day you've been here so far, however long that's been, and I know it makes you feel better when you get a hot meal. Come eat."

She left me blinking as she returned to the kitchen. I rose, wrapping the blanket around myself, and followed her. Kathrine was already there, looking at something on her laptop. "Morning," she said, around a mouthful of breakfast sandwich. "Sleep well?"

I sat down, and a plate full of bagel-bacon-egg-hashbrown sandwich appeared before me. "There'll be cinnamon rolls soon, too," said Lilith over her shoulder as she went to the coffee machine.

"Why are you both," I hiccupped, hands clenched around the blanket. "Why are you being so nice to me? I invaded your home, your lives-"

Kathrine reached across the table and put her hand around mine. "Not your fault. I've been looking at the data we grabbed before we left - all the duplicates were made via direct brain scans of the people they kidnapped. I want to do a firmware update on you later to make sure you don't have any networking backdoors, but you're just as much me as I am."

"Besides," said Lilith, sitting next to me, "we've talked before about what we'd do if we found a clone of each other." She smirked, and suddenly the room got very warm. "Eat your breakfast," she said, her smile turning gentle. "You've been through a lot, and we have time to figure things out together."

Hesitantly, I picked up the bagel and took a bite.

It was delicious.

I'll fuckin do it pal don't tempt me

---

"Number three reactor's going critical! Repeat, cascade event imminent! Clear the bay!"

"Eject, 43!"

Calliope, pilot of the starship Lysandra, turned to a console and pressed the voice activation button. "Computer, turn off monitoring in this room until we exit it."

The ship's computer beeped its compliance, and Iridia turned to face Calliope. "Okay, Calli, what's this all about?"

Calliope scratched her cheek, nervously. "Well... okay. So. I've been... kind of dating the ship's computer."

Iridia rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know. I hear you screaming her name every time one of the ship's remotes enters your room. You're not exactly subtle."

Calliope blushed. "D-don't give me that! Remember the incident with the ambassador?"

"I thought we had agreed not to bring that up again." Iridia glared, averting her gaze and crossing her arms.

"Well, now we're even, I guess," mumbled Calliope. "Anyway! I need your help."

Iridia looked warily at her. "With what, exactly?"

"Brainstorming." Calliope clapped her hands together. "So. It turns out that Lysandra's kind of a sub-"

"I don't want to know that. Why are you telling me that? Why should I even be in this room?"

"Wait! I'll- I'll give you my printer rations for a week." Iridia raised her hand to the door controls. "A month!"

Iridia hesitated, finger poised over the button, then sighed in defeat. "Okay. The ship I service and maintain, professionally, is a sub. So what."

"So, she likes to be... restrained, sometimes. Tied up."

Iridia's head made a thunk noise as it hit the bulkhead. "Of course. You know, I'm sure you could have looked up 'shibari' on the GalNet."

Calliope wrung her hands together. "Shi-what now?" Iridia turned to her, glowering, and she hurriedly put her hands up. "Doesn't matter! Ropes and stuff might work on the remotes, but those aren't really her. She wants something more... suited. To her. Uh. Size."

Iridia blinked at her. "You want to tie up... a starship?"

"I thought you might have some ideas!"

Iridia was already muttering to herself. "Engines are like locomotion... but a computer lockout to manual isn't the same as a physical restraint. Maybe manual assist with a kind of old-style steering wheel lock? Would need to restrain the remotes, too. Some sort of covering for the sensors, like a blindfold? And then there's the aesthetics of restraints on the main body..."

Calliope inched closer as Iridia trailed off, her hand on her chin. "So, you'll help?" She said, hopefully.

"Huh?" Iridia looked up. "Oh. Well, it's certainly a fascinating problem-"

"Great!" Calliope grabbed her hand and shook it vigorously. "I really owe you one for this. Remember not to talk about it or write about it where she can hear you, she wants this to be a surprise! I gotta get going to my duty shift, we'll talk later. Thanks a million!"

Before Iridia could respond, Calliope was out the door, and the computer chimed again. "Monitoring restored," it said. "I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with, Engineer Iridia."

You kneel down next to your party's Mage, running your fingers over her cracked and broken porcelain, your magic flowing out of you to patch and heal. Your fingers almost brush against the fine red strings that trail from her limbs up into the air, always visibly taut regardless of what position she takes. Your eyes try to track the point where they vanish into the aether, but near the end the difference between "there" and "not there" is impossible to see. She stirs, and her eyelids slide open with a clacking noise. She sits up, slowly, her strings pulling her arms and back.

"Thank you," she murmurs, taking your hand in hers.

"Hold still", you say, not letting her go. "I'm not finished yet."

"But you're unhurt?"

You focus on healing her for a moment, until the weight of her soft gaze pierces your heart. "Yes, I'm fine." You meet her eyes, made of glass, dark hazel and entrancing. "But you shouldn't have leapt in front like that. Taking hits and getting hurt is my job."

"It was tactically efficient," she says, in those same soft tones. "And besides..." She lifts one hand, red string twisting as she flexes her ball-jointed wrist and her fingers clack against each other. "This doll is made for this, after all. To ensure no real people get hurt."

Your fist hits the ground before you realize you've swung it, the dull thud making her jerk in surprise. "YOU'RE real!" You shout, your other companions looking up in alarm from across the camp. "You deserve- happiness! Love! To not be forced into the middle of a conflict when you should be kept safe-"

"In a glass box, on a shelf, perhaps?" You flinch, but she continues to stare at you, unblinking and soft. Her dress rustles as she reaches out to stroke your arm, and it tingles where her strings rub against your skin. "No. This doll cannot be safe. But it can be near you-"

"And get hurt again?!" You grit your teeth, hissing like a wild animal trapped between a wall and a predator.

"My companion, please, do not get upset about this doll's fate. After all, it is only a-"

"Don't say it!" You shout, grabbing at her, to do what, you don't know. Shake her, maybe, or force her to lie down and rest, but you miss, and your hand grabs something that feels like a lightning bolt just ran down your arm, shock and pain with the inability to let go for even a second.

You've grabbed her string.

Her right wrist twitches as it dangles from your fist, then falls limp. She looks at it in shock, then at you, the lightning bolt still coursing down your arm. Slowly, your fist and her hand move, and you aren't certain who's moving who. Her hand caresses your cheek, and before you realize it you've pulled her into a kiss, her porcelain skin cool on your burning face. After a moment, you separate, still holding her string in your hand.

I: Well, it's very nice to meet you all. Let's go ahead and start. You're in a pretty unique situation - not many like you end up in the music industry. How'd that happen?

D: Well, the better question is, why doesn't it happen more often? People hear clockwork and assume it's all 'tick tock tick tock ho hum', but the truth is that it's just another way to keep the beat. Humans do it too, they just call it something else.

I: You mean, a heartbeat?

D: Exactly! You even call it a 'beat'! Ours are the same, we just have more control over it. Well, to be fair to others, we've got far more control over our internal tick rate than most. Just built different, you know? Easy to change the tempo.

B: Sure and we can't do odd beats, though. 16/8, 4/4, that's all fine, but we couldn' waltz if we wanted to.

I: That feels like it'd be limiting.

D: Limitations breed creativity! If you're up against a wall, you gotta figure out if you're gonna go around it, climb it-

B: -break through it-

D: -break through it, yeah. That's what we've done, break through.

I: But you think others like you could do it too?

D: Absolutely! Break down those walls! It'd be nice to think that some of the work we've done might help others get in here too.

I: You're not worried about competition?

B: Nah, girl. We do our thing, and nobody does it like us. No competition, just solidarity.

M: Dollidarity!

(General laughter)

I: I wanted to ask about your costumes.

M: They're cute, aren't they?!

I: They seem a little stereotypical, perhaps?

D: For things like us? Maybe. For the scene we're in? When was the last time you saw one of our wave in frills?

B: Frills are punk.

D: Frills are punk!

M: And Miss likes them!

I: Who's "Miss"?

D: Our manager. We wouldn't be here without her, we really owe her.

I: Ah, yes, your elusive manager. Is there any truth to the rumors that-

D: No comment

B: No comment, girl.

M: No! Uh, no comment. That is.

I: Okay. Well, let's talk about your music. You use a lot of samples, particularly from the local transit line. Here, let me play a sample.

(Music: a clip of "Run on Time": "Mind the gap. Mind the gap. Don't- don't- don't- don't- Mind the gap.")

I: What inspired that?

D: Well, we had the idea of using samples since we started, but we really have Kay to thank for that.

M: Kay was the announcer before it Became-

D: became a part of the band, yeah. So it's the same voice! We're real lucky to have it.

B: Lucky Miss found 'er, more like.

I: Oh? Your manager found it?

D: Maybe Kay can answer that one best.

K: Don't talk much. Voice is... complicated.

I: I understand that.

K: But Miss... found the parts we needed. You know? Needed each other. The band. Her. Glad to be here.

I: I think it's safe to say we're all glad you're here, too.

Everybody agrees that the Affini would Just Win if it came to open conflict. The Empire's bristling display of might, nuclear warheads, paracausal mech powers, and batshit insane pilots would simply be swept away.

And since everyone agrees, says the Empire's representative, casually checking the safeties on their weapons of mass destruction, there's no need to check by actually invading. It would be a pointless waste of resources, of course, she says, petting the kneeling, muzzled weapon by her side.

The Affini nod and say of course, we must get around to... liberating, the Empire from itself, eventually. But as it happens there's some fascinating xenobiology somewhere else they simply must check out. Your puny human minds wouldn't understand.

The Empire's weapons growl, but the representative simply smiles, and says that she's glad everyone is in agreement.

And of course, one of the Affini does not look back on her way out, does not look longingly at the weapon's muzzle, and definitely does not catch the representative's eye and slight smirk.