#edumacate

  Now I know this is going to sound very rude, and incredibly sexist, but men, if you ever plan on writing a woman I heard the single best piece of advice I’ve ever had on it from the movie, “As Good as it Get’s” uttered by Jack Nicholson’s character Melvin Udall when asked how he can write women so well, “I think of a man. And take away all reason and accountability.”

  This is in no way a slight to women, but it is as I have found, my key to writing women, to understanding them when I write them. To me that statement means that women do not function on logic and scientific reasoning as most men do, but emotion first and foremost, what feels right, what feels wrong, heavy on the instinct, light on the reason as to why that would work and is the best choice.

  It is actually my way of honoring them, as fucked up as that sounds. Okay and with that out of the way, we’re off.

  So kissing is practically the same for each gender until you break it down into an emotional act, in which point we will be breaking that down and into far greater detail. Now here’s the thing about the body of a man, his nipples are extremely sensitive, they’re superfluous. In other words, they’re dark colored skin that when pinched/bitten feels really good. From personal experience sucking on one … is well … not really all that sensational, and I mean that, men don’t really feel it.

  The male body lacks a good deal of what makes sex great from women; we’ve got our drive shaft so to speak, our ears, our lips, and on some occasion our nipples. Bite, tweak ‘em, apply what I taught you about working a woman’s nipple/breast in part 2A and apply it to a man from a woman’s perspective. It really is just that simple at times.

  So what exactly do we come down to in this lesson, I mean if kissing is the same, and nipples are the same … what the hell is left for us to discuss?

  I’m glad you asked. Because it’s a part I’m well acquainted with.

  Cock, willy, peter, schlong, prick, penis, dick, tally whacker, length, member, hardness, so on and so forth in ad nauseam.

  Okay I’d only use a few of those terms, because otherwise, you’ll make your RP partner laugh like the dickens. Can you really imagine replying with this: *I take your willy into my mouth slowly begin to suck on it*

  No I didn’t think so either. Also refrain from calling it Little [Insert Character Name] because that’s about as stupid as calling a tally whacker. Yes I know that is in the list, it was a joke, now do you want to learn or not?

  That’s what I thought. Okay, moving on.

  Let’s look at the romantic side of a hand job (in hindsight this is fucking hilarious to write, and to read, you all must laugh like hyenas.)

  *I slowly stroke his hard length*

  Well okay, get’s the point across right? But it’s lacking flare, lacking that … well romanticism. Now, coming to it when I’ve written a woman with a man, it’s come down to my own experiences with a man (I’ve had one or two before) and believe it or not putting myself in the shoes of the women I’ve been with as well as thinking of how to describe myself when hard.

  Now that wasn’t easy to type, but given most men on twitter are written by women, I had to share those facts with you. It’s a tad bit invasive but guess what, students? I never said this was going to be easy to read now did I?

  With our jumping off point of *I slowly stroke his hard length* let’s move on from there and see if we can’t get us something a bit more stout to respond with.

  *My fingers dance down his abdomen, rippled skin giving way to soft flesh that grows hard as I gently stroke my fingers up and down the back of his cock. I hear him panting in my ear as I kiss and suck at his neck, feeling that soft but hard flesh grow and start to throb in my hand as I close my hand around his length, encircling it with slender fingers I slowly begin to pump, feeling each vein pulse against my fingers and palm I moan at the thought of having him in me, as I come up to the head of his dick, I gently squeeze it with my thumb, pointer and middle fingers, feeling it twitch in my gentle but soft grasp.*

  Now that’s slightly flowery, a bit of character development thrown in for god measure. It’s easier with men to be just physical; during sex we turn off the mind, and go with the body. Women have an emotional drive that needs to be expressed, even in just a simple flowering of text as is shown in the example above.

  Or so I find anyway.

  Oh but the animal, I’ve found writing a woman in that animal way can be quite vicious. Men are like dogs, we’re in, we’re out, and we’re done. “Veni vidi vici,” so to speak when it comes to animalistic sex and foreplay. But women, every woman I’ve ever been with gets a bit … tormenting, teasing, they want the man to work for the pleasure. And you have to keep in mind, this may not be easy for you to write as women, and it sure as hell isn’t easy for men either.

  *I roughly grab his cock and begin stroking it quickly.*

  Okay so, that’s not too bad, needs more description, more action, emotion. But the effect is still there, that urgency is there, clear as crystal.

  But I know we can do better, don’t you? Of course we can, so come with me and let’s see what we can come up with.

  *I bite at his neck hungrily, catching soft, metallic and salty skin between my teeth as I drag my nails down his belly and up the throbbing hard shaft of his length. His moans make me wet, my thighs press together to ease some of my tension as scrape my nails teasingly over the tip of his prick, playing gently with the slit at the tip, feeling cool precum spill out onto my fingers as it twitches, his hips bucking for me to grab hold of him and slowly start to jerk him off. And I oblige, slowly though, not in a quick slowness, but a crawling stroke, up from the bottom only to dig my nails into the swollen dark head of his dick in a tight unforgiving squeeze before starting to speed up, each vein buzzes with the beat of his heart, telling me I’m doing a good job of jacking him off.*

  Et voila, how is that? Huh, I impressed myself with that. Jesus, would you look at that *whistles* Thing of beauty. Anyway, do you see the shift in attitude there, the confidence? That’s pure undiluted sexy as hell vixen dominating her partner. We’ll of course visit Dom/Sub culture in this series at some point, or even have a small shoot off series dedicated to it where I’ll go into a more Sub point of view.

  But this, this is her hungry, she wants her mate, nay she needs him. But by God she’s going to tease the ever loving shit out of him before he’s allowed to cum. This is the animal side of things.

  As an overview we learned that male nipples are useless and only respond to pain pleasurably. That your professor is bisexual, and has a slew of fucked up ways to write women and sex with women. So, there we have it, what else did we learn?

  (Yes there will a course on anal sex during this lecture.)

  Your character is with their partner, they’re kissing, and we’re going to start off romantic just as before, but from the stance of a man. (We will also cover lesbian and gay sex along the way I start off heterosexual because most couples are in RP, not because I’m bias.)

  Let’s start off with something simple, neck kissing: *I trail soft kisses down from your lips to her neck.*

  That’s your very typical and quick exchange. Nothing to it. It’s clear, and precise. But it lacks detail, and well sexual flair. That’s like reading an instruction manual, now instead of boring the TL or in this case the character’s partner, try this:

  *I leave her lips to trail soft kisses away and down her jaw, the salty but slightly sweet taste of her skin on my tongue has me panting. Leaving the defined line of her jaw I meet the soft, supple skin of her neck, the heat of her blood pumping fast has me gasping as I kiss the skin that pops with each beat of her heart.*

  Better right? Now this is without emotion, or flowering text that will further define and shape your character during this encounter. This however is good, it’s viable neck kissing. You want masterful neck kissing? We’ll get to flowering in emotional and character building text later in the series. Don’t worry.

  Now as for romantic kissing and foreplay, biting doesn’t usually take place, sometimes it can, but remember this one golden rule that my grandfather taught me: “Fucking cannot turn into love making, but love making can turn into fucking at the drop of a hat.”

  Well what does that mean? That means that you need to be careful in what you write, because your romantic love making is one hard bite away from becoming a full on fucking, that leaves the bed shaking and their bodies sore the next few days.

  (I’ll be covering that in a moment from the foreplay stand point.)

  Now on to animalistic foreplay, of the kissing variety: *I bite at her lower lip*

  Again text book, clear, precise, but text book and drab. Let’s try this: *I break the kiss with her, our breath mingling in heated pants as I feel a soft growl rise up out of my throat and I capture her lower lip between my teeth, biting it softly as my tongue flicks out over the captured bit of flesh.*

  BOOM! Can you tell a distinct difference? Other than length can you see the urgency in that act? The need without stating he needs to bite her lip? See it’s all about subtext, how you phrase your words, how you frame your actions. You have to imagine it like this:

  Imagine yourself really having to pee after a long bus ride/drive/car ride/plane ride/train ride and you’re running to the bathroom, that urgency you feel when running to it? That’s the urgency your character feels in that moment, by god he needs to bite that woman’s lip or he’s going to fucking lose his shit and bust.

  This urgency will come into play later when we move onto the act of cunnilingus and eventually full on fucking. But that’s still a ways off. So we’ve covered kissing, of the neck, and biting of the lip. What else can we cover? I’ve got two more areas I want to cover.

  Class I want you to repeat after me, “Breasts are our friends; we must not forget to play with them.” You did that for me? Good! Now let’s discuss this with a trippy sixties time jump forward.

  Okay so he’s got her shirt off, bra’s gone if she was wearing one at all, and what? Are you going to forget she has breasts? They’re there, use them, remember the analogy, the body is a playground, play with it. It’ll be fun just watch.

  *I lick at her left nipple.*

  Oooh okay that wasn’t fun, hell that’s not even erotic. Okay let’s see if we can’t get those juices flowing (oh I mean that in every way possible.)

  *I look at her beautiful bare chest pale skin (let’s go with pale for the sake of this one) flush red with her excitement as I slowly bring my mouth down to kiss along the valley of her breasts. Tongue slipping along slightly sweaty skin, as I start to kiss along the slope of her right breast, sucking ever so softly with each kiss until my lips meet her nipple, circling around it slowly, suckling on it softly as my hands find her bare hips, pulling back to let my tongue sweep around the hardened rose colored bud.*

  Now that is romantic, descriptive and erotic. When it comes to this, every move is slow, deliberate, he’s exploring his girl, he wants to know every inch of her chest, to find what makes her moan from just her breasts alone. It’s full of care, loving touches. You get it?

  Now can we move onto the rough and tumble animal side of playing with a breast!

  *I bite and suck roughly at her nipple.*

  Okay so that’s not too bad, and if you’re on the TL and afraid to go further with the breast play, I get it. But in private, let’s see if we can’t turn that simple action into a two or three DM experience.

  *Heart hammering in my chest, as the sight of her tan skin exposed to me, blushed to a dark scarlet as I gaze at you hunger dark in my eyes as I flash forward, my teeth gently at first scrape along her breast bone, turning the skin darker with their sharp edges. A hand reaches up to greedily palm her right breast, drawing the nipple between thumb and forefinger giving it a harsh pinch as my mouth circles around her left nipple, sucking it roughly from between my teeth, biting ever so softly on it as it rests there. I pull away with a gasp and trail soft bites up the swell of her breast, before sinking my teeth into the supple flesh, sucking on it harshly, wanting to mark her.*

  A difference is clear, there’s a violence to raw animalistic sex, a violence you have to tap into within yourself. This is a no holds barred beat the clock encounter, this man needs her, needs her more than water, food or air in this moment. And he’s willing to be rough to convey the passion she makes him feel. Remember that urgency from before now bring with it an aggressive roughness, why? Because he’s a step closer to his goal, which is taking her.

  Definition: Taking her – To roughly and purely fuck someone so hard that they are indeed yours after the end of it.

  Okay now, another time jump, she’s completely naked, or has on a skirt which is pushed up around her waist and no underwear on. For the sake of detail I prefer the latter, it’s just naughtier. (I’m a kinky fucker deal with it. *smiles*)

  She’s laying back on the couch/bed/backseat of car/countertop/tabletop/etc, and he’s kissing her chest, her abdomen, but what are his hands doing? Let’s discuss this.

  *I rub at her clit.*

  Well that’s the start of an erotic statement, it’s not finished, it just … hangs there, you can tell there’s more after that. *I rub at her clit slowly?* No. We need more! *I rub at her clit slowly, fingers making small circles around it?* Okay no but close, sorta warm, okay you’ve got the general idea.

  Try this on for size:

  *Slowly my fingers graze along her soft folds as they slowly grow wet under my touch. The tips of my fingers circle her clit once, feeling how smooth that hooded nub is before pressing in on it softly. Not wanting to be too hard I kiss the skin between her breasts as my digits begin to rub in small circular strokes before dipping down between the wet lips of her core, the tip of my middle finger pushing in slightly teasing her entrance before pushing in all the way, slowly working its way in and out of her in slow strokes. Her wet tight walls make me gasp, a soft moan leaves my lips at how much she wants this too.*

  See that conveys the slow, deliberate pacing of romantic love making, he’s detailing what he wants, what he’s achieving in all of this, of course with some character building and flowering text it will clear what his intent is.

  Now onto the final part of this lesson: Animalistic Fingering … okay that sounded better in my head sheesh.

  *I roughly pinch her clit and rub at it.*

  Yawn right? Okay, so let’s take that, turn it up to 9 (10 and 11 are reserved for full on flowering/building text and action, thank you very much.) Okay, see if we can’t do better with this:

  *As I hungrily kiss and nip at her breasts, sucking lightly on the skin as I bite I drag my nails down her toned abdomen, leaving angry red marks like arrows to my goal. Feeling that hooded nub, her clit, soft yet hard under my rough fingers I pinch it gingerly, before rolling it between the pads of my thumb and pointer. I feel the slickness of her arousal as I begin to drag my fingers up and down her folds, plunging a single finger deep into her entrance, pumping it quickly in and out of her, my finger crooked to scrape along the insides of her walls, trying to find that soft spot of pleasure inside of her, as I fix my thumb to firmly press and rub at her clit, wanting her to be as wet as possible for me.*

  Okay, now tell me the difference there. See the violence, passionate, pleasurable violence, but it’s an underlying needy violence. He needs her to be wet, to want her to need this, but that’s not in there yet, I’m just giving you a bit of insight. Look at the detail, her arousal makes him ravenous enough to not even tease her before plunging a finger into her. And he’s not worried about being gentle, or even about how it might hurt her, it’s a rough pleasure he’s after there. That urgency’s become a need; he needs to do this, its beating in him like his heart does in his chest. Remember that when you come to write the rougher side of sex, it escalates quickly and peaks when he gets inside of her, or in some extreme cases, draws blood (via biting or other things).

  Okay so that’s the end of this Man on Woman foreplay course, let’s overview what we’ve learned today shall we?

  When it comes to romance, everything has meaning to it, it’s planned out, spur of the moment sure, but each movement comes from a want, a reason behind each act, both for her pleasure and his. He wants to explore, to find each weak spot, not to use it against her, but to use it to amplify this moment of passion, of pleasure.

  But when it comes to the animal side of things, his movements lose motive, lose meaning, they’re there to help him reach his end goal. Taking her. He wants her, no scratch that he fucking needs her unlike anything else he’s ever needed before in his life. His movements lose gentility, they become rough, violent, hungry, biting, scratching, pinches and teasing gives way to instant gratification.

Wow that’s not egotistical at all is it? No of course it’s not! Anyway, welcome to part one of a … well I’ve got no idea how many part lecture-series-article thingy. I’m going to start off with the balance I use to write smut, be that romantic, or raw animal sex.

  I’ll start with the emotional romantic side of sexual encounters in RP. Now you’ve spent all this time wining, dining, and falling deeply and madly in love as characters and BAM now it’s the time after that dinner, they’re alone in one of the character’s homes or in the back of a car … something “romantic.” (If it’s not abundantly clear that me and romantic have a wide array of places I find suitable for upping the ante of a relationship.)

  Now you’re freaking out, sitting there going; as I’ve done many times before and still do to this day, “Oh shit they’re going to come out with this reply and I’m going to be like:

 *I gasp my body shakes and I grab your shirt melting into the kiss*

when their reply is”

*My hands slip up your waist, one feeling the soft material of your shirt as it rises up to cup your cheek, pulling you closer to me, lips brushing over yours before molding mine to yours, sucking on your lower lip softly; while the other slips in under your shirt, feeling the chilled skin of your belly and the way it quivers slightly under the tips of my fingers. And I can’t believe I’m here with you, now, doing this, after all this time, falling for you, to only be able to make you mine, to be able to feel you, taste you, to show you how much I’ve fallen for you in these intimate motions, in soft touches, caresses and kisses. You overwhelm me, with your presence, with your small whimpers, with your beauty and the way you look at me.*”

  Okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating, but that is how it feels to me and from talking with many of you, that seems to be the general feeling of dread when writing smut in RP. Now I’ve found people who can RP the physical side with such clarity that it’s nearly pornographic but not the emotional, and then others who can RP the emotional so well it’ll break your feels but fail at the physical. I hope to bridge that gap … starting … NOW.

  So, as I was saying, your character is in said romantic setting, their partner is with them and that slightly heated awkward feeling is between them, that clock counting down to the moment when someone makes the first move and it’s all downhill from there really. Or uphill depending on the kind of sex, but that comes after this.

  Now let’s start with the simple act of kissing; now depending on how far you want to go with it you could go, *I kiss you lovingly* (or *He/she kisses him/her/you*) which is quite suited for a casual encounter, or just a small romantic greeting/gesture.

  OR

  While for that passionate romantic first kiss that will lead to that intimate act, *I kiss you* is a bit lacking. Try remembering what your first kiss was like, or the last kiss you had that was anything but familial, go for sense memory. If on the off chance that you do not have that sense memory to go to (no judgment here, and I hope that first kiss will blow your fucking mind) think of what you want it to be and go from there.

  Like this:

*Looking into your eyes I lean in to close the gap between us, my lips brush against your full, soft rose colored ones before capturing them in a heated passionate kiss.*

  Okay, so that’s not enough for say two or three tweets, but we’ll get to fleshing out emotion and flowering text toward the end of the series. For now, I want to convey romance, and animalistic lust. Now let’s flip this kiss and put it on the animalistic side.

  Typical: *I kiss you hungrily*

  But try something along the lines of this: *I gaze into your eyes, my heart hammering and I feel the need to kiss you, to taste you, and I close the space between us quickly, my lips crashing down onto yours as I suck and nip at your bottom lip.*

  Can anyone spot the difference? I sure as hell hope so. Romantic sex and animalistic sex vary in two very drastic ways for me. Romantic sex is slow in pace, deliberate actions, you find your character wanting to explore, to see and experience what their partner wants, what pleases them, but first and foremost it’s soft and caring. Whereas animalistic sex is all about the urgency, the need, the drive for pleasure that cannot be fought any longer, but is as an opposite of romantic sex, its rough, its needy and highly physical and rather selfish in its nature.

  Keep that in mind when writing that kiss, does your character want to make love to its partner or does it want to stay sore for the next few days? That is the question to ask when facing the setting that comes before the encounter. As well as the wants and needs of the character, which can be based off of your own, it makes it all the much easier to write that way. I know that seems a bit Mary Sue or Gary Stu, but it really is the best way to write smut use your wants, your needs, your fetishes as the jumping off point for your character and you’ll find that they will take on a life of their own.