#edengirl

When we think about the progress that Chloe has made through these last few days, all we can do is marvel.  It is truly marveling to see the governance of God.  It’s a ‘governing’ that no human can understand.  He is in control and yet that “gun” is loaded with grace, love, and compassion . It’s centered on the Gospel.  Time is part of his governance.  It’s not our enemy but God uses it for our good.  Time is an agent of His faithfulness causing us to be intrinsically aware of the depths of our soul as the seasons come and go.  His governance in turn causes us to worship and point to the greatness of His glory.  It causes us to marvel!  I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or if everything is going to be perfect from here on out.  All we know is we'd rather hide behind the shadow of His wings when the storms rage.  And when the storm passes, we, as a family, can look back and see the fruit in our waiting.  Whether it was in wondering why it took three years for us to figure this out, or why was Chloe’s surgery re-scheduled twice, or when is she going to recover such an intense surgery - He is faithful and always on time!

Here’s some pictures of her progress.

Right after surgery: ate a full breakfast with pancakes and fruits within 10 hours of surgery. She was also cleared out of the ICU within 13 hours of surgery.

 15 hours later:  She started walking and going to the bathroom by herself.  It was also a tough day filled with pain and tears.

Today morning with her surgeon, Dr. G. (34 hours later):

Dr G. gave us the report that everything went very well.  She said all tests came back normal and she’s in route to full recovery.  Chest tubes were taken out. 

And finally here’s a picture from just an hour ago - She called me and had a joyful conversation with me.  She started playing in the play area.

A couple months ago, we went for Chloe's three year check up. As our pediatrician was doing Chloe’s routine check-up, he asked us how we thought she did this whole year.  By God's grace Chloe had not been sick for a whole year and that was something our doctor was excited about.  He then proceeded to check her heart and heard a subtle murmur – a murmur he had continued to hear from birth and into every check-up over the last three years.  He said that usually the murmur should’ve gone away by now so he advised us to go see a cardiologist as soon as possible.  Two weeks later, we took Chloe to see the Cardiologist and an ECHO was done for her.  After the ECHO was done, the Cardiologist gave us some news that we were not expecting.  He said that Chloe had a 9-10 mm hole in her heart.  The actual diagnosis given was Anomalous Atrial Septal Defect with Partial Sinus Venosus.  It’s something she was born with and is somewhat common among other kids, with the hope that the hole would close as time goes by.  However, in Chloe’s case, the hole did not close up.  The only way to close it now is through an open heart surgery.  They cannot do a cath procedure to close it up because of its rare location.  At first, we had a hard time believing it.  I was definitely in denial.  She’s so active, talkative, noisy, jumpy, and energetic.  This can’t be.  As a couple days passed, we were able to process things better and felt we should move to the next step as fast as we could. 

              We asked for a second opinion and went to a different facility for testing.  Before we got to doing that, we informed our church members and those close to us.  A home group member encouraged us in saying, “I think the Lord loves it when we go to him for healing”.  Another good friend of mine from Virginia, also reminded me not to think too small of God.  If you know me, you would know that I have shifted quite a bit from my Pentecostal roots and I can be quite skeptical of some “divine” gifts, mostly because I witnessed the abuse of it growing up.  Even though I believe that God could heal, the word “healing” was tainted by my past negative experiences. However, I have learned that my experiences should not negate what’s actually true about God and what He says in His word.  He can heal! He will heal! And we have to believe that with all our hearts.

So I stopped thinking about the open heart surgery and decided it’s time we put this in the hands of the One who is always “clutch” in the matters of these things.  My wife and I started earnestly going before the Lord in prayer for healing and those close to us joined in this endeavor as well.  The day of the second opinion came around and Chloe had another ECHO with another (well-known) cardiologist.  The whole time we were praying with all the faith we could muster up.  The cardiologist met with us after and the results came out to be the same as the first opinion.  It was then confirmed. 

              What was our reaction? Peace.  Not anxiety.  Not anger.  Peace.  Why?  Because the God who performed the greatest healing of all time, in all of the universe, by repairing our fractured hearts through the cross of Jesus Christ, was capable of closing this physical hole in Chloe’s physical heart.  However, for sovereign reasons, He chose not to.  There is so much peace in that because He is in control.  He cares for Chloe more than we as parents ever could!  He knows what He is doing.  To my friends who think that God heals with the amount of faith we have and/or to those who assume that our optimism of healing parallels a greater understanding of God’s power:  I would encourage you to re-consider.  If one prays for healing and it doesn't happen, it is okay to say that God chose not to heal.  

But to somehow be in denial? And to try to muster more faith? Or to bother those are going through the suffering to pray more (In assumption that they’re not praying enough)? Now that’s a small, skewed, understanding of the governing omnipotence of our God.  Sometimes, in not healing, God displays His power just as much, if you will yield to His will.  Those who have suffered and have not experienced healing but are still walking strong in the Lord will attest to that.  What an opportunity for the Lord to expose our idols and our lack of trust in God for real power.  This real power which could transform character and give more joy than if God did physically heal, for the praise of His glorious grace!  1 Timothy 4 suggests this as well.  “Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.”  Don’t you see?  Godliness is of more value than what can benefit you physically.  I’ll tell you what the real “bummer” is.  If you desire to be like Christ and He didn't provide you the means for that.  That if you desired to be healed of your carnal nature so you could partake in eternal life but He didn't give you a way out.  But thanks be to God that He has given “everything we need in godliness and in life” through Christ Jesus. (2 Peter 1:3)  Now that’s real power and real healing!  Here’s what Christ Himself says: “Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, “Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.”  

Another concept we frequently forget is ‘common grace’.  Medicine is an emissary of God’s healing through common grace.  Mike Emlet says it like this, “We should not be under the impression that we can simply preach at people…expecting that [it] will address these forms of sufferings. In many instances God has given us medication and other therapies as good gifts of common grace. However, ultimately speaking, our good deeds in the body must be done in service of the ultimate “healing” which happens through salvation in Jesus Christ.” (Westminster Theological Seminary, Course via CCEF) 

Paul in his first letter to Timothy says, “…but use a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments.”  James 5:14&15 says to use oil when praying.  There are multiple interpretations for this and is not always hermeneutically clear.  However, oil in that time was used as medicine for multiple sickness and wounds.  Again an implication apart from supernatural healing and towards common grace.  With as much medical innovation that is available to us these days, let us not be so quick to dismiss it as an unspiritual option.  In Chloe’s case, the Lord has chosen to not supernaturally heal or physically close the hole in her heart.  Did we give up on asking God to heal? By no means! We pray every night with her for her healing.  We have men and women of God around us and request them to lay hands on her for healing.  But as of right now the reality is, she is not going to be healed without surgery.  

Many have asked about Chloe and have been praying for her.  For that we want to say, “Thanks”.  We are overwhelmed by the care and love.  Other than healing, here’s some ways you can be intentionally praying for Chloe:

1) Pray for her surgery and that it’d go successfully.

  2) Pray for the cardiothoracic surgeons and their fellows.  That God would guide their hands and judgement for proper performance of the surgery.

  3) Pray for Chloe that she would respond well to the surgery, medications, and all other treatments.

  4) Pray that our idols be exposed concerning Chloe.  Pray that the Lord may show where we are not trusting Him so that we may lay down our anxieties for His supernatural peace.  Pray that our hope will be in what Christ has already done for us through the Gospel and not in the outcome of this surgery.  

Three years ago, God blessed us with a beautiful baby girl.  We were calling her by name months before she even came out. We prayed for her salvation every night before she was born and continue to plead for her eyes to be unveiled to see the beauty of the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.  When it’s all said and done, this is what we are banking on.  This is the ultimate healing we want for Chloe.  I pray those who read this will desire the same.