#edc2019

My first EDC was beyond words and I’m definitely basking in the afterglow. I am so grateful to be healthy, happy, graduated, and madly in love. I’m just grateful to be here and to be me. I never imagined I’d be where I am now or doing the things I am now. I got more than I asked for.

I started first getting into raves a few years ago because a friend and role model of mine from high school started traveling and going to festivals and I was constantly inspired by her. I also had just moved to a new city and started college, and was craving a community of like-minded individuals. I also always had a passion and love for music, combined with my new search for identity and meaning, I was so fortunate to find this community. With Pavel as my day one going to shows and fests with me since I moved here, I also always felt safe and comfortable enough to go to these events with him (as opposed to shitty party friends or something who would ditch me if shit went bad). I got involved with my college radio station and began blogging for them and attending events for free, which enabled me to do things I wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. Basically, I didn’t chose the rave life the rave life chose me!

I’m also glad I ended up going to EDC mostly sober. Although drugs have become a big part of rave culture, I think too many people use it as a reason to just get fucked up. Why spend hundreds of dollars on a festival you won’t even remember because you were too high or drunk? I’ve rolled and tripped at festivals before but honestly most of my favorite memories are from when I was just chilling. It’s fine to take safe doses, and it can definitely enhance your feelings/visuals, but only with intention and caution/awareness of your own body. I hope to roll again sometime, but I think it’s important to note that you don’t need to in order to have fun or feel all the magic there. You just have to bring your awareness and let go of your baggage and you’ll feel it whether you take drugs or not.

The biggest thing I’ve taken away from these amazing experiences - with EDC after graduation topping it off - is that life is just a trip. Enjoy the ride.

I grew up with pretty strict immigrant parents, and needless to say they’ve always imposed pressure on me in various ways (not always intentional) which ended up giving me immense anxiety every time I went out or did anything I felt like I wasn’t “supposed” to do. I’ve also always struggled with anxiety in general and needing to always feel in control of everything. I would overthink how others would perceive me and also had serious social anxiety. Going hand-in-hand with developing my spirituality, raving is so much deeper than most people think. It really helped me open up, learn to let go, and remember the importance of just living in joyful energy. These vibrant moments remind me that life is really beautiful. We get so caught up on daily things, what other people think, or what we should be doing next. Sometimes it’s just grounding to be in a sea of people and remember we’re really all the same. We’re all connected. We’re all searching for the same things.

Experiencing the absolutely powerful energy, deep love, and pure joy running through everyone at EDC was magical. We come as strangers, but we really do leave as a family. The positive messages that resonated with me from EDC remind me to practice empathy and kindness everyday. They remind me to slow down and remember how beautiful life is. They remind me that it’s not always so serious, and it’s okay to let go. They remind me to never stop nurturing my inner child and imagination. They remind me to be myself, because my uniqueness deserves to be celebrated. They remind me that I’m not alone even when I feel like an outcast because there are other people just like me out there.