#echoing rambles

Have mental health case manager too, though more nervous to use. They always ask if I'm suicidal, but never how I am otherwise. Finding me places to get evaluated though. Dunno if use yet. Nervous nervous

And center for independent living support. Help me problem solve big problems, knows where find answers for me. Gonna let me tour big fancy accessibility house. I can feel out my needs. Helps me self advocate with vocational rehab

And disability helper I found on local queer job board. They are.....not good at helping. But I don't have other help so.... doing best to guide us both there. Don't trust them with anything too vulnerable yet which is hard!! Cause not shower in so so long feel so gross. Skin rashes coming back and ahhhhh. But they are not touching me ever unless they learn how to stop speaking over me

Slow going all this. learning how to get help. Cause I struggle lot lots. In and out of fatigue crashes. Nervous system processing backlog. So much stress in body. I suffer from lack of routine. But dynamic disability mean routine feels impossible to find that is accessible to all of me.

Can never seem to communicate the most important things. I wish people asked different questions I think. Were curious about me. They expect me to know all my needs and I don't!! I can't just say for some reason. Can't they see the gaps?? Am I really so invisible??