#ec parker

I have a bunch of headcanons and they’re all awful and I’m sorry in advance.

(also I know the problems with appropriating some of the language here, but I’m using it in the context of teens and for realism’s sake, and if anyone has any major issues, I can edit this post)

• so right off the bat? Slang things

• Dallas says yas - the first time he said it, Poppy immediately blocked his number without warning. Malek hated it but he’s so smitten that he tries to ignore it. he’s dead inside - that ended up being the ONLY time Dallas was allowed to say it

• Blake says ‘yaaaaaas’ all drawn out to Tyler sometimes, it’s an inside texting and also just general friendship joke that ended up with, well - one time Blake says it in front of Tyler but also the entire team. He has to excuse himself because everyone is staring.

• Ari says ‘yaaas bitch’ sometimes to see if anyone will call them out - it’s just kind of a mess and no one has a good time. Ari please don’t make the team suffer like this

• Dallas…..100% unironically still uses YOLO - it started as a joke one time - now he says yolo, but only in mildly depressing situations - “hey Dallas don’t go out in all black, cars won’t be able to see you” - ‘yolo’ - it’s his version of wanting to die jokes because of how he’s severely depressed • Going back to yaas for a minute? Sara’s fave vine is the yaaas cat - also the “drugs” owl, and the one that’s just a combo of them makes her cry with laughter

• Paulina (yeah I know bringing in characters who haven’t properly shown up) has a green thumb and is great with most plants…except cacti - she’s not great at willfully neglecting a plant?? - it’s just kind of a fucking mess and she always ends up over caring for them and they wither away - she’s angry, devastated, and also wants to try again out of spite every single time she tries to raise a cactus and fails

• Poppy says lit but it’s always followed by at least three fire emojis - the more fire the better - there was one time it was followed by 16 fire emojis, it was wild

• Sara has made a legitimate mix tape before. - I mean it, on an actual tape and all - It’s stashed away and no one is allowed to listen to it - (but it’s pretty good honestly)

• Parker mispronounces fleek - “flee-ack” - no one has ever corrected him. Help this boy?? - he never usually says it but it’s still. please tell him how to pronounce it properly

• Benedict plays 21p songs on his ukelele - when someone tells him to stop (maybe dad friend Phoebus because Ben is playing at the breakfast table after all), well - he strums chords loudly and shouts - “MY NAME’S BLURRYFACE AND I CARE WHAT YOU THINK” - Ben no, Ben pleas e - 21p is great but don’t scream that in a public setting where other people can turn to stare at you - Sir Dick Maximoff, please cease & desist

• Dev wears socks and sandals - He dresses like a dad trying to embarrass his kids - Dev just take off the socks bud and don’t wear that with khaki shorts too

• ….Tyler and Sara have matching shirts - they say 'skate fast eat ass’ - leT THEM BE PALS PLEASE BELL - Sara and Parker also have matching shirts - it’s a doodle of a bee with human legs - and the shirt reads 'I’m the bee’s knees’ - the doodle is a little bit disturbing actually - the bee is a cartoon bee but the legs are hyperrealistic and anatomically accurate - also on the feet of the legs are high heels - fun times, the shirts are cursed - the image is cursed more like and so Dallas loves it and they get a third shirt so he can join the squad