hi there!!! i'm izuku midoriya from boku no hero academia looking for anyone besides uraraka! (that means you too, kacchan!) in my canon i had really bad anxiety and would often have panic attacks... i would also bite my fingers and peel my lips, if anyone remembers that!! like this post and i'll message you!! thanks a bunch!!
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septiplier // Part 4 of my Hitman/Soulmate!AU // based on @earthbootyās Criminal AU artwork
Authorās Note:Ā This is just a short piece from Mark's POV, set a few weeks after he and Jack have met, to tide you all over until I finish the much longer installment for next time!
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you listen to the song the title is from while reading. It's You and I by Pvris. It works wonders with the tone of the piece.
If you prefer to read on AO3, here.
To read the parts in chronological order: P1, this part, P2, P3
To read in order of first posting: P2, P3, P1, this part
Itās too early.
Markās never been a patient man. Even when he was going through trainingāthrough things Jack doesnāt even know about yetāhe always lacked the good sense to stop and think before trying to attack. Only multiple broken limbs and the ever impending threat of death on the horizon had finally forced him to learn his lesson within the realm of combat and subterfuge.
In real life though? Well, they never gave out relationship advice where he was trained. He feels like a rookie all over again, all nervous energy and loose ends fraying apart in his impatience. It sucks.
Jack isnāt ready, heās not like Mark.
He has to keep telling himself that, no matter what his lizard brain keeps whispering to himāheās yours, youāre soulmates, it works both ways.
Jack isnāt ready for all the things Mark wants to do to him.
He couldnāt handle Markās hands touching him in ways that arenāt gentle or polite, fingers grasping with intent and desire, leaving bruises in the dip of his neck. Itās too soon, theyāve barely met, and Jack needs time.
Itās scarcely been a month since they met and Mark sees Jack through rose colored glasses. The rest of the world is out of focus, unimportant like the blurred background of a photo, a photo in which Jack is the sole subject of the photographerās lens. He stands out, quiet and unassuming, vibrating with a hidden energy that Mark wants to mesh with his own one day.
Mark has no idea what Jack looks like to everyone else, but he can see all of Jackās potential when he looks at him, electrifying his skin, sparks jumping from limb to limb when he moves or tries to sit still. Heās a bomb with a smoking fuse, slow to burn but destructive enough to level Markās entire world in the space of a nanosecond.
Mark feels like heās caught in that split second before the explosion, where everything is silent and the universe is in perfect order. The only thing hanging in the air is anticipation, and it feels drawn out and stretched thin, endless and boundless while Mark sits and waits for Jack to decimate the hills and valleys of his heart.
He watches Jack do everything carefully, like moving too fast will set things into motion too soon, and neither of them will be ready.
Mark is ready though.
Heās been ready since that first night in Jackās kitchen, since he watched Jack transform from a man lying trapped in his own bed to a man with a metaphorical gun trained to Markās heart.
Itās funny to him how much Jack hates weapons of any kind, yet since their first meeting heās had Markās entire existence at gunpoint, finger on the trigger to turn Markās insides out and his universe upside down. Heās a late night robber breaking into a vault that hasnāt been open in years, and Jackās holding every inch of Mark hostage.
Markās got a case of rapid onset Stockholm Syndrome, glued to the side of the man whoās holding his life in his hands, and heās hanging off his every word. Jack smiles at him from across the room sometimes, like heās thinking about tossing Mark a bone, about coming closer and putting both of their lives on the line.
Mark knows that if their world exploded, Jack would still be just fine without him.
Maybe thatāll change in a few months or years; however long it takes for Jackās heart to beat in double time with his own. Maybe one day soon Jack will look at him and his world will melt the way Markās does whenever he thinks about moving close enough to touch with intent.
For now, Mark will settle for the way it feels when he watches Jack try something for the first time, when his hands donāt shake after talking to a stranger on the streets, and the way his eyes sparkled the time he let Mark kiss him to sleep.
Heāll ignore the way it seems like his stomach is devouring himself and his nerves are firing off without his permission every time Jack sits close enough to touch and all Mark can do is want him, in every way one person can want another.
He wants to consume Jackās whole being, take his whole heart for himself the way Jack stole his from him just a few weeks ago. But he canāt.
Mark can only love him from afar, until Jack chooses to come to him and ask for more. Itās cruel, he thinks, that the universe would arrange them this wayāheās never once thought heād be the man pining after his own soulmate, waiting for him to bridge the gap between them, but here they are.
Itās not all bad. Jack lets Mark kiss his hands and hold him while they sleep and for all that Jack is relearning how to be a person, Mark thinks Jack knows that Mark is waiting on him. For all the training Markās ever received on how to slip on the perfect cover, to assume a flawless mask of someone that heās not, Jack is not fooled by anything Mark has to say or do.
He pulls away every mask Markās ever worn with nimble, careful fingers and he discards them one by one. Jack sees how weak Mark is beneath the surface, how much he struggles to maintain himself, to be something worthy of Jackās love and it must be enough, because he stays.
Jack doesnāt love him, not yet, but he chooses Mark every day. He chooses to stay with him, he chooses not to judge him for the blood on his hands or the years his job has stolen from himāwill steal from the both of them. He chooses Mark because he wants to, and Mark knows that means that one day Jackās love will be more than he deserves.
Mark was shoved off of this cliff face first, no other decisions to be made or paths to consider, and heās made his peace with it. When Jack comes, it will be because he chooses to fall.
Mark is patient, he is kind, he is not selfish or pompous and he can wait. He has to.
Jack isnāt ready. He doesnāt love Mark. Not yet.
But he will.
I hope you enjoyed and as always, let me know what you think! The next part will be much longer (and in Jack's POV), but hopefully this is OK for now.