#earlfig

Author’s Note: HIIIII so this was a request made by my friend, Rowan! It's sort of a thank-you for a gift that *he* gave me a few weeks back! (Thank you again for that, Rowan, btw!) I'm sorry once again this is so late.

Also!!! Rowan helped me out with writing Fig's accent so props to him for that too! I'm sorry if I still made some mistakes though, this is my first time writing Fig.

The ending to this oneshot is piss-poor even by my standards. I am very sorry for that. I was trying to do one of those clever, funny one-liner endings but it just did not work out :( Also I think I made it a little more angsty than what was originally intended djdkd but it's still mostly lighthearted! (I always say I prefer fluff over angst and then I usually add more angst than necessary...I guess I like a good mix of both more shjkd)

Anyways, I hope you enjoy, despite how short it is!

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Fig, for all of their life, always had just walked everywhere. There were a couple of reasons for this. One, they loved nature and the entire world as a whole, so they had a tendency to pause every so often to observe the sights around them as they trekked to their destination—something that was significantly harder to do in a car. Also, the thought of all the pollution-ridden smoke that emitted constantly from a car to harm the trees, the animals, the air, was enough to make them cringe. Two, it was the most convenient mode of transportation for them, what with…let’s just say the way their body was shaped.

…This latter reason was why Fig, as they stood before their boyfriend Earl Grey’s car, grimaced. Poor Earl Grey, he held the door open for Fig innocently enough—Fig wasn’t sure if it had even slipped through his mind that his car wasn’t exactly accommodated for them very well at all.

“Um…my love?” Fig gently called out to their partner.

“What’s wrong, Fig? Why do you have that look on your face?” Earl Grey asked, scrunching his brows, obviously still not understanding. Oh, Earl Grey…Fig loved him dearly.

“Well…tha thing is…I don’t think I’m gunna be able to fit in ya car,” they said awkwardly, gesturing toward their legs.

Earl Grey finally started to understand, and his mouth dropped slightly as he began to understand. “...Oh.” He huffed a bit, but then a grin crossed his face. “Well, I mean, we can still try!”

Fig involuntarily jumped a bit at this. “Wh—ya sure that's a good idea?!”

“Well, I don’t know about a good idea, per se,” Earl Grey began, “but I think we can manage it, if that’s what you mean. I’ve had to strap two defiant twins into car seats before—on a time limit, no less.” He chuckled a bit at this. “I think I can manage to fit you in here.”

Fig sighed and thought it over. They were going to visit Earl Grey’s sibling, Roguefort, and they by no means lived close by, so they couldn’t just walk there, as Fig would have preferred. Earl Grey was looking forward to seeing his sibling very much—and Fig was of course excited to see their friend, as well.

So, Fig decided they would try, for their boyfriend.

“Alright, let’s give it a try, my love,” Fig finally replied with a smile.

Earl Grey smiled back, holding the door open wider (he’d part-way closed it after hearing Fig speak).

Gingerly, Fig started to trot toward the car, dreading the inevitable even more as they got closer to the vehicle. They started to climb in—arms first, of course. Alright, Alright. This is fine, Fig tried to repeat over and over again in their head.

Then, they tried to put their hind legs in, and that’s when all hell broke loose, so to speak. First of all, they ended up tripping, bumping their chin onto the soft backseat of Earl Grey’s car. Luckily, Earl Grey dashed right up to help them back again, brushing them off (even though they hadn’t gotten dirty nor very hurt at all). “That’s okay, try again,” he gently encouraged.

Just wanting to get in, Fig tried again, and ended up tripping again. Earl Grey helped again, as well. “Dear, try to go in a bit slower,” he advised. “It’s okay, it’s no rush. I’m right here.”

Earl Grey’s voice was so soothing and reassuring, but Fig still felt highly embarrassed. Their already pink face flushed a bright red and they pursed their lips tightly.

“Do you want me to help you up, maybe?” Earl Grey offered. “Would that help?”

Fig thought for a moment and nodded. “Ya,” they answered. “Thank ya, my love.”

Earl Grey went up behind Fig and carefully took a hold of their hind legs, slowly hoisting them up. As Fig sank deeper into the car, they felt their chest move forward quickly and their eyes widened. However, as soon as their entire body seemed to be in, they felt their hind legs hit the side of the car. Earl Grey made a small ‘mmm’ sound and tried harder to push Fig in; at one point he accidentally bumped Fig’s knees against the side of the car, making the cookie yelp a bit.

“Oh!” Earl Grey cried out. “I’m so sorry!”

Fig sighed a little. “It’s fine, my love.”

“Fig, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Earl Grey asked, genuine concern in his voice.

“No, it’s just...” Fig began, their voice sad. “I’m sorry ya have to date some kinda an’mal like me.”

Earl Grey grew distraught at this, and his face and heart both sank as he realized what his partner had meant. “Darling, what? No, I don’t think you’re some kind of animal, of course not,” he answered seriously, placing his hand on Fig’s shoulder.

“But, you ‘ave to try to push me in ya car like I am one,” Fig replied, their voice shaking up and down, almost as if they were trying to sing a melancholy song. It struck Earl Grey then that he’d never even heard Fig’s ‘sad’ voice. Fig was always so cheery and happy…it hurt Earl Grey deeply to see his partner so upset, so unlike their normal self.

“Fig…that doesn’t make you any less of a cookie,” Earl Grey told them, both his hands on their shoulders now, “nor any less of my partner.” He leaned down to kiss Fig on the lips. “I love you so much. If this is frustrating you, or making you feel upset, we can find an alternate solution. No problems.”

Fig looked back at Earl Grey, hope and admiration in their eyes. “Really, love?”

“Of course.”

Fig smiled for the first time since laying their eyes on that vehicle, their adorable dimples showing. They leaned in to kiss Earl Grey one more time, which the blond gladly accepted.

“I’m glad ya don’ think badly of me,” Fig commented. “That's really what I was w’rried about. I ‘ave to admit, it was a bit funny to try to push me in,” they finished with a giggle.

Earl Grey chuckled too and flexed his arm a bit. “That was my workout for today, that’s for sure.”