I’ve been into EAPS since it started. The first video, the last video; I’ve been here since the start. I’m lucky enough for that. I’ve even been lucky enough to have the opportunity to help with the behind the scenes for this show as a body actor. Nothing grand, but still fun and an honor nonetheless.

Eclipse has, without a doubt, been my favorite character since I learned about him. I wasn’t here at the start of TSAMS—in fact, ironically, my partner and I got into it because of the death of Solar. A “Good Eclipse”, of all people... I never loved him as much as I love Eclipse. I still don’t.

It has meant far more then words can describe to watch him turn better, then worse, then better again. EAPS has done an amazing job to portray the process of healing, accepting yourself, and realizing it’s never too late to start working on yourself. Time is fluid, and so are people, in a sense. Watching him confront the bad in him, watching him spiral, get back up again, spiral again, and repeat. Watching him hurt inside and hurt others, but also heal and help heal others, in turn. Watching him grow and shrink. Healing is not a straight line, and Eclipse as a character has been one of my favorite portrayals of the healing process. It’s not perfect, nothing here is, but it’s still very clear that there was passion and effort behind each character, arc, and storyline. Even despite the pressure of keeping the show running with daily uploads, the leads (Davis, Matt, Flora) created a story with a cast that we as fans have laughed, yelled, and cried with.

I don’t know if I’ll cry after it sinks in that no more EAPS episodes will be posted, but I’m conscious of the part of me I’ll be leaving behind. I know the characters may make appearances in the future, I know they love cameos far too much to let them collect dust, but it will still hurt to not see them in their own little spotlight. To be honest, I’m grateful it ended like this. By choice. I’m grateful we got to see an ending the show deserves; a happier one, at that. There’s a lot of damage, a lot of loss, and certainly more cuts that have yet to heal, but there’s a much more peaceful road ahead of the EAPS cast, now. I, for one, am glad it’s going to happen off-screen. They can take that heavy spotlight off themselves and focus on a better, brighter future.

Eclipse still means the world to me. He’s my favorite character to draw, my favorite TSBS character, one of my favorite redesigns, concepts, tropes, all of that. I don’t think I’ll forget about the impact watching this show has made on me, as cheesy as it is. Puppet, Charlie, Foxy, Henry, FC— everyone in the cast, new or old, have helped with that. But Eclipse has taken the majority of it, probably because I see myself the most in him. I can relate to him.

I’m going to miss EAPS. I’m going to miss seeing the stitchlets and Charlie annoy the hell out of Eclipse. I’m going to miss seeing this patchwork-like family. But I’m glad I got to see them while they were around.