dear Killua,
I told myself I wouldn't do the letters because I'd recieved too many, but then, in the midst of a sleep-like coma, this happened. I'm throwing it under a read more because the sap-level is at an all time high.
Dear Killua, I may have scrapped this numerous times before finally making a promise to myself that whatever I write in this sitting will be the final product. See, the problem with writing a letter to you - or well, about you - is that no words could ever summarize what you truly mean to me; my thoughts turn to mush around you, my stomach dances with butterflies, and what I feel can never be accurately placed into a description well enough to articulate everything you've done by coming into my life. It's that cliché 'swept off my feet' feeling that I once only believed was true in literature or in film, but then I met you, and as terribly corny as it sounds, it's real. You've seen my flaws, you've heard the stories, perhaps even encountered some of my negative aspects first hand, yet I've never felt judged in your presence. I have so many hidden insecurities and fears that most don't pick up on, but when I'm with you I feel as if I'm wrapped in a blanket of security; you're my safety net. I could lose everything, the world could crumble beneath my fingertips, but I know that you'll be standing there - give me some snarky remark before taking my hand, being there for me as I pick up the pieces. It's ridiculous, how someone like me, someone who doesn't deserve a damn thing, has been gifted with someone like you. They say people cannot be perfect, that it's humanly impossible for a person to reach such a level of greatness, but I'd look whoever made that bullshit up dead in the eyes and tell them that they obviously have never met you - and actually, I don't think you're perfect, I think you're so much more than that, you're beyond such mundane standards of perfection; there's no word to describe who you truly are. But if you could look at yourself the way I look at you, you'd feel invincible, because in my eyes - you're truly the most remarkable person I've ever gotten the privilege to meet.
Made up of many constellations and beautiful complexities; you're my galaxy. When you speak, I feel as if I could listen to you ramble on for hours. When you discuss the small things you love - I sense this passion in your tone that made me fall in love with the stars; I adore you, everything about you. I've become so far lost in you I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of adornment, and if I'm being completely honest, I'd be so terrifyingly lost without you by my side. I've never known anyone who could make me feel so guided and glued together; because I've always been nothing but a mess, falling apart behind the scenes and withdrawing away into my own state of seclusion; but you've awoken me from that. Our whole friendship feels so surreal, I feel as if you're a figment of my imagination, that this is too good to be reality - that there's no possible way that someone as astonishing as you could ever be in my life. I cant help but think that maybe one night I'll fall asleep and wake up only to realize that it had all been a dream; and if that were to happen, I'd spend the rest of my life trying to revisit the very same dream, if only to see you again. I could go on for hours, about how you inspire me, how you've become my muse as well as my motivation; that you're the drive behind why I want to become a better person, but it's of no use. Nothing I say will ever explain how I feel, how I see you, how truly important and amazing you are. I admire you so much, I want you to be happy and every moment you spend in this disgusting world to be the best; I want people to kiss the ground you walk on and worship the fact that they've been graced by your presence, blessed to have met someone like you. You deserve recognition and appreciation everywhere you go; I'd legit go to war for you at this point, and … yeah this is sappier than I intented so I'm gonna stop here, but I love you a lot and wish you the best. Hold my hand, drink some tea with me, and let's look at pictures of places we'll only visit in our dreams.
