#dyingwhale

After a short drive to Douglasville, we pulled into the spot we were playing at. Synapse Studio is home of two bearded sexy men and a killer RC car track. We got there early enough to utilize the location for a film. It's been a while since we shot a movie on tour but we knew it was beyond time for Eli to get his revenge in "Foreskin Deux". The actor, J Money from Machinist!, found himself chilling with a beer and skinless. Good thing he didn't need his foreskin to beat the skins that night. With that being said, we knew this was gonna be a sexy show. People packed into the green lit live room of the studio and the party started. Beers were slung around, spit was spat, and the albino moth pit was going hard. Things wound down and the sweaty men passed out in the ant filled garage.

Eight dudes, all jacked up on some danky dank coffee, loaded into Charlie Vanson to head to all of our favorite punk spot in Charlotte, NC. It was half of the ride of everyone sleeping and another horny half of us all cheering for "COOKOUT". So we decided to celebrate National Doughnut Day by stuffing our cake holes with hushpuppies from the all-mighty Cookout. The manager came out and asked what band we played in. We didn't tell him we were in Slipknot; we should have lied. With the Cheerwine floats still oozing out of our mouths, we pulled up to the Milestone. The show began right after Matt broke a cassette tape with his head so Zorn could have a full head of tape hair. A long night of neck breaking head banging insued at the graffiti and sticker filled venue. It hit two o'clock and the night ended with us following the promoters scooter back to his house. Who's driving? We proceeded to enjoy his hardwood floor and porch couches, which we laid our broke-ass necks on. He has delicious water.

Woken up way too early by the blaring sun, we gathered on the porch discussing life stories. After piling in the van and filling ourselves with Cookout, we headed to Virginia Beach. After landing the van in Walgreens' parking lot, we hit the beach strip hard. Eli and I got fast and/or furious on a motorcycle arcade game while J Money from Machinist! enjoyed some good ol' fasioned salt water taffy. The venue was across the street from the beach so shirtless guys with tribal tattoos and long boards were out prowling the beach front. We all got back to the venue and after the ladies that were singing that damn ole ole ole ole song from soccer games left, the hardcore show began. The Hook-Up should have changed their name to The Knock-Out that night because the wrestling moves were annihilating the crowd. All the power bombs and full on stunners happening would have made Hulk Hogan get back in the pit. The show ended and after listening to locals hitting on girls by inviting them to Walgreens dates, we got in the van to crash our with our WCW friends.

The next day was Eli and I's home state show in Philadelphia. We pulled to Connie's Ric Rac which was surprisingly two doors down from the venue we played at last time (RIP Teri's) and hit the streets (breh). I got a killer vegan philly just to show up the venue sad that we had free pizza. The show started not too much after that and it went off great. Philly is always filled with super rad people ready to have a good time. We loaded up the van in the rain and after everyone that is single got done hitting on the same girl, we headed to crash at the promoter/our friend's, Cassie, house. We were all greeted by her 100 pound dog and I swore that someone was gonna have to sleep with one her cats in their sleeping bag without knowing. They said all the right words to Camo and snuggled in his sleeping bag. It was a great night.

NEW YORK!!!! Today was the day we were going back to Brooklyn to play. We got up early but that didn't make the ridiculous Mannhattan traffic thinner. Parked at the venue in the mid-day, we go down to the super clean and super user friendly subway. While in the midst of all the exictment, we got to enjoy a dance to set by two entreperneurs getting down to the beat of "A fucky fucky fuck/a fucky fucky fuck." That wasn't the only art we were gonna see that day. The sun was back in our eyes after that damp subway ride and we made it to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We saw so many beautiful pieces and got to see a man in the bathroom's full butt while he was throwing up. It was sexy. After we got our art on and Jeff got his hot dog on, we headed back to the venue. The night started with a band playing pressing tunes about how you need milk in your cereal and then it was our turn to play. We got done, loaded up, and then headed to our buddy's crib in Jersey. The GPS said the drive was twenty minutes but with the traffic we arived at his house a hour and thirty minutes later. We walked inside and some of us crash in the abandoned apartment next door. All were hoping for the ghost of snookie to come out and get us.