#dweeb thoughts

When Suguru asks what’s this all about the teacher uncomfortably explains,

Teacher-“Well, today we had a small project for career day. All the students were to write a small essay on their parents careers…”

She pulls out Megumi’s essay.

Teacher-“Megumi’s a very…creative boy…since he doesn’t have the most…traditional family I told him to write about who he looks up to the most and makes him feel safe. It’s a compliment, really, very sweet. He wrote about Mr. Gojo, saying he was like a super hero fighting monsters, the strongest there is.” She smiled dreamily at Satoru. “I’m guessing you’re a police officer or military?”

Satoru-*laughs nervously* “heh….something like that.”

Teacher-“then he writes about an auntie Shoko, I assume one of your sisters, hm? That, “she clears her throat. “Her hands glow and makes you feel better…and cuts up dead people.” The teacher gives a tight lipped smile.

Satoru snorts, stifling a laugh then flinching as Suguru subtly pinches him.

Suguru-“she’s…a mortician of sorts. Occasionally helps at a local clinic.”

Teacher- “a-ah I see, well then we have a grandpa yaga? That he makes dolls that, and I quote “fight monsters and dances when he’s sad?”

Satoru snorts again, louder this time, Suguru snaps a sideways glare before answering.

Suguru-“ a former teacher of ours…he does…puppetry in his spare time as a hobby.

Teacher*nods*-“how fun! Okay well…and lastly…Mr Geto. He says you…*ahem* swallow balls…?”

The room goes quiet.

Satoru bursts out laughing.

Violently

Almost sobbing

Suguru doesn’t say anything just,

To satoru.

His face just,

Suguru-“ummm…well you see…” *nervous sweat*

Satoru-“my fiance is a man of man talents—“

Suguru-

Satoru-

Nanako is pissed

Mimiko is annoyed

Tsumiki is confused

Megumi is a mixture of all three.

Nanako’s makeup brushes are missing.. These are name brand. A birthday present she’d asked for MONTHS.

Mimiko doesn’t wear heavy makeup, just light.

Tsumiki wears it on occasion for special events but her school doesn’t even allow makeup with their uniforms.

Megumi scoffs when asked if he’d used them.

The house is in world war three, Nanako is on a rampage. Satoru and Suguru fear she’ll turn on them next.

All four kids sitting in the living room. Nanako won’t shut up about her damn brushes. Tsumiki is trying to diffuse the situation.

Tsumiki-“Are you sure you put them back? Maybe you left them somewhere or forgot them at the dorms?”

Nanako-“I use them everyday! I wouldn’t have forgot them. We’ve been here on break for three days. I haven’t seen them for two days. One of you took them!”

Megumi-“why would we touch your stupid makeup brushes?”

Nanako-“idk megs why would you?”

Megumi-“Nanako why would I touch them?”

Nanako-“idk what gay guys do! Dad wears LIPGLOSS.”

Satoru-“Woah! That’s not cus I’m gay that’s cus I happen to have nice lips that look nicer with gloss—“

Megumi-“ I’m not gay!”

Nanako-“ yeah, okay, say that to Yuji, fairy.”

Satosugu-“ woah! Hey! Okay!”

Megumi-“fuck you and fuck your stupid brushes!”

Suguru-“language!”

Nanako-“ SOMEONE TOUCHED THEM AND WERE NOT LEAVING UNTIL I GET MY DANM BRUSHES BACK.”

Absolute chaos, no one is safe. Nanako is now going through EVERYONE'S rooms.

She and Mimiko's room has already been investigated top to bottom.

Tsumiki's museum level clean/orderly room is clear of any suspicious activity.

Dads room is currently being combed, begrudgingly allowed. Bar the second drawer of Satosugu's left bedside table. When asked Satoru just says she can check if she wants but may need therapy. After careful consideration, Nanako skipped it.

All that was left was Megumi’s room. Or the ‘cave’ as Satoru put it. Black out curtain, dark blue walls, dark bedding.

Very 15 year old angsty boy.

He stood in front of his door, arms in front of his chest.

Merino- “no way.”

Nanako- “give them back and I won’t have to look.”

Megumi- “I don’t have your damn brushes!”

Suguru-“language”

Megumi- “why am I getting yelled at! I didn’t do anything!”

Tsumiki-“guys, why don’t we-“

Nanako-“daddy, papa, GROUND HIM HES GUILTY.”

Megumi-“with this treasure-“

Satosugo-“ NO.”

After a good 10 minutes of Nanako and Megumi, nose to nose, yelling at each other. Satoru and Suguru finally convince to let them check. Just to get the damned witch hunt over with already.

Of course his room was clear. Nothing really crazy or out of the ordinary. Neither could really understand why he was so adamant about people going in his room. That was until Satoru slyly elbowed Suguru, nodding to his desk.

On Megumi’s desk was a simply framed picture of he and Yuji. A very nice one that had been taken by Satoru a few months back. Yuji with his arm slung over Megumi’s shoulder. Big cheesy grin and, shockingly, Megumi with the barest of smiles tugging at the corners of his lips.

Suguru brought a quiet fingers to his lips but smiled anyways.

Megumi’s room was cleared.

Nanako’s rampage was now in the stages of denial. So angry she could cry as she kept combing through her things looking for them.

Tsumiki-“ Nana, we can get you new brushes-

Nanako-“No! Papa got those for me! They’re a collectors set!”

Mimiko-“Does Nobora have them?”

Nanako-“what?”

Mimiko-“Nobora. She has that dupe set right? We got ready together the other day. She might’ve grabbed them by accident.”

Nanako freezes, eyes wide.

Megumi-“no fucking way.”

Suguru-“language.”

Nanako whips out her phone, furiously texting. After 15 minutes of dead silence. Her phone dings.

Her face goes pale.

Tldr: Nobora grabbed them by accident.

I really see it being girls against boys in this house. Or really, Nanako and Mimiko v Megumo. Tsumiki is Switzerland. Suguru is tired. Satoru is the fan to a fire.

FOUR TEENAGER UNDER ONE ROOF? Being raised by two late 20 year olds??? We have to remember by the time Tsumiki is 17, nanako and Mimiko, are 16, Megumi is 15, Satosugu is only 28.

Gojo gets to this kids house about to finish the recruitment. This kid is powerful, the elders wants them, they’d be a perfect Gojo student. He gets to the kids bedroom (don’t ask me why, its for the bit, stay with me now) and on the students desk with a

Sticky note?

Then Geto has been chasing a baba yaga style curse for WEEKS this thing is a special grade. It’s PERFECT for his collection. All of a sudden the forest he’s been camping out in starts turning burnt the further in he gets. There’s debris everywhere and all he can think is

“He fucking didn’t.”

And gets to a CRATER and in the middle of said crater a

Sticky note JUST SITTING THERE.

Geto and Gojo are not legally married they just say they are.

Satoru proposed to Suguru YOUNG. When they were 17 just a few weeks into dating Satoru proposed to Suguru. Suguru thought it was a joke at first but when he realized he was serious

He straight up said no 💀

Cue Satoru throwing the biggest tantrum of his LIFE. Suguru, exhasperated but fondly, agreed after weeks of pestering. But only agreed to wear them as promise rings until they were 18.

They stayed engaged for a really long time. Satoru just wanted to get married already but Japan doesn’t allow legal gay marriage. They could apply for legal partnership but it wasn’t really the same. Neither really cared about big weddings, tax benifits, and inheritances. More they just wanted physical sign of commitment. Something to show that their bond. This was more Suguru than Satoru.

They had one bank account, a house under their name. A car under their name (only used by Suguru, Satoru still can’t drive lmao) all that was missing was a the marriage certificate. And then one more issue

The Gojo clan refused to acknowledge Geto at all. To the point when they threatened to cut Gojo off entirely if he did not marry a woman of their choice. In canon they were more lenient cus he wasn’t married to anyone, he had no relationships that they knew of. So they weren’t as strict cus as least the Gojo goo wasn’t just going wherever and there wasn’t someone illegitimate to claim the Gojo title and fortune. But now, with Gojo in a relationship with Geto. With four children under his name as legal guardian. That was different.

So they tried to arm bar Gojo into marrying a woman of their choice. The deal that was offered was, legally marry this woman chosen by them. Have a child. Allow the Gojo clan to raise the child as they see fit. He must attend all official meeting, holidays, ceremonies with his child and wife. In return he can live with Suguru full time and play house.

Satoru said fuck you I do what I want.

While he has not fully seperated himself from the clan, he still retains his last name and does attend official ceremonies to save face, as well has access to his own trust funds and stocks. He doesn’t use them. Satoru and Suguru make very very good money as teachers and special grade sorcerers. So they don’t really need too and Satoru’s pride will not allow it.

Now that’s not to say the two are symbolically married. They had a ceremony and a reception! Satoru and Suguru were married by an old Buddhist priest that was the shrine tender in Suguru’s village. A person that had a lot of influence on Suguru’s younger life and a sorcerer himself.

It was a very intimate and private ceremony. Their absolute closest friends and family. And afterwards for the reception had a large dinner with the same friends and family. Food, karaoke, drinking, games etc. It was fun and special and perfect for them. They got married at 25 and have been since into canon ages. The two were simple silver bands with the engraving ‘My One and Only’ on the inside. And if anyone asks they say they’re married and refer to eachother as husbands as do the kids and rest of the people in their lives.

Gojo is not bi

Gojo is not pan

Gojo is not Demi

Gojo is getosexual and that’s it.

NO I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING OTHER THAN AGREEMENTS

in all seriousness this is a genuine head canon for me. I actually GC Gojo as ace/aro. Not from lack of interest in the parts themselves more he is just a child of nepotism neglect and struggles to see others as equals so the concept of sex and sexuality jsut doesn’t interest him much.

Unless your a 6’2 genocidal Princess with a disorder who swallows balls and has pretty hair

First up Suguru!

Warning: some of these will hurt. You have been warned.

Suguru has a really complicated relationship with his parents. He grew up in a very traditional and rather strict household. Spare the rod spoil the child type household. As an adult he has what he considers a good relationship with them now but kinda stands by loving from a distance.

Suguru’s father was his small villages main doctor while his mother was a stay at home wife. He wasn’t spoiled much and his father was a man of logic and fact. So when his son started this random fear of monsters swearing he was seeing ghosts or what have you, he stamped down on that quickly.

Suguru got labeled as a lying child. Anytime things would go missing, he’d speak out of turn, lash out, anything, he’d swear it was the monsters. He go in trouble a lot for it when he was very little but as he got to grade school age he kinda just learned to keep his mouth shut because he didn’t like being seen as an attention seeker.

Suguru in general was an extremely well behaved child. He was a good student, had good grades, was respectful, obedient, but…he had quite the mouth on him. Suguru (as we know today) sucked at schooling his face and rarely lied about how he really felt about something, which resulted in him getting in trouble a lot lmao. You know that scene in Encanto

Literally Suguru and his mom all the time lmao.

Suguru was just seen as a weird kid. But he was handsome and athletic so in middleschool he was popular in the sense of he was a mystery to be discovered. A tall, handsome boy with a weird aura and odd eyes??? Girls were all over it. But suguru didn’t have much in the way of real friends. More superficial friends that he was friendly with at school, but no one that actually understood him.

Suguru came from a completely non sorcerer family. He was a major anomoly. So when his technique started to manifest his parents had no fucking clue what to do. Turning to their villages local Buddhist priest for any kind of help.

This old priest, is the one who scouted Suguru. He himself was a sorcerer but not a super powerful one. He specialized in luck and blessings. His technique allowing him to make areas a no curse zone with his blessing. Which is why he thought it was so odd with the influx of curses. Then comes in 7 or 8 year old suguru, POWERFUL curse energy flowing from him and is like ah, that makes sense now.

The priest was an old colleague of Yaga which is how Suguru was scouted to Jujutsu high! AND is the very same priest who officiated Satosugu’s wedding (if you read my Satosugu marriage post)

Suguru’s parents had extremely mixed feelings on Suguru’s relationship with Satoru. His mother is a lot more open to the idea. Not out of tolerance but because she loved her son and can see he’s happy with satoru. She’s cordial and smiley, genuinely enjoys Satoru’s company. But it always feels like she’s waiting as if it’s a phase Suguru will get over and hints often how she wants grandchildren of her own blood eventually.

His father kinda acts like it doesn’t exist. Hes cordial and very fond of the kids. Shockingly he’s more tolerant of their family dynamic than his mother and refers to all four as his grandchildren and not just the twins (compared to Suguru’s mother who only really considers the twins Suguru’s) but he doesn’t really acknowledge satoru or their relationship all that much and doesn’t refer to them as husbands. Just says partner.

When Suguru first came out he was genuinely expecting a fight and tears. To be disowned and banished from the house. But Suguru’s mother just held a tight lipped smile and Suguru’s father hardly looked up from his news paper. Just grunted and turned the page. His mother just said ‘well…isn’t that…something *ahem* I think the teas ready’ and scurryed off leaving suguru alone with a very sealed quiet dad.

Suguru fell into a deep depression when he got the twins. He was alone and scared and so so angry. Angry at the system, angry at satoru, angry at himself. Satoru insisted he take the girls and stay with his parents for a bit. That a taste of home would do him good. And it did. This is how his parents warmed up to the twins. And while his parents didn’t exactly understand what he was going through, they understood the want to do what’s best for a child whether it was right or wrong. This is what actually helped improve their relationship. He stayed with them for a few months on a bit of a hiatus until things settled down.

This is also what warmed his parents up to satoru. During this time satoru was in and out constantly checking up on suguru, helping when he could, obviously worried about their son and the girls. His father grew a great respect for him, understanding that you would do anything for someone you loved and to protect your family. And while he wasn’t calling him son any time soon, he no longer gave Satoru the cold shoulder like he did when they were teenagers.

THATS ALL FOR NOW

Would Gojo be too distracted by Geto being there to either teach or complete missions?

Thank you!

Oh my god they’re SHAMELESS.

Gojo already has the attention span of a toddler. It’s not even Geto being hot (which…cmon…we know that’s a distraction all on its own). Geto is his favorite person. Imagine if you worked with your best friend. Would you actually get any work done???? I personally work at my job with my best friend and it’s DISTRACTING. All we wanna do is yap.

So imagine Gojo just yapping Geto’s ear off nonstop. Constantly bugging him. But honestly, geto is no better. They can’t share an office. They can’t teach together. They can’t be in the same vicinity cus someone is either getting roasted or nothing is getting done. And Suguru is a MAJOR gossip. Everyone thinks it’s Gojo, but it’s geto that’s gossiping like an old biddy.

Some teacher suguru headcanons!

Suguru teaches curse history and curse manipulations! Students with an affinity towards shikigami especially become his personal student’s! He doesn’t work with any specific age group. He works with first through third years and even full sorcerers when necessary.

Suguru is well like but can be a bit of a hard ass. In his mind if you wanna be the best you gotta work hard. If you slack off he’ll give you a reason to work harder. But he’s also the type of teacher to do things with students rather than watching them. He’s very open and honest about his struggles with his technique in his youth and the obstacles he overcame (within age appropriate reason) and though he can be strict he’s also very understanding. If you stop and genuinely ask for help, he will drop everything to help you.

Suguru is extremely over protective of students. He’s not like satoru who just lets em loose and says have fun. No, he scopes out missions first to ensure that the grade matches the sorcerer level. If he’s unable to determine it, he’s going with even if it’s to just watch in the background.

Suguru doesn’t go on his own missions very often. His missions are usually his students missions. Yaga understands that he and satoru are the strongest, but Satoru and Suguru can only be so many places at once. So satoru takes on the big missions while suguru accompany a students OFTEN. Like everyday. He enjoys it but sadly it takes a lot of time away from satoru. But he enjoys being able to teach and be home with the kids more.

Suguru’s personal sorcerer missions usually involve him basically being a curse bag of holding lmao. If there’s curses they want to study, could be useful, have sentimental value, no matter the grade they will send suguru in. He doesn’t like it but it also means he gets a new goody so meh.

Suguru does not absorb in front of students. He doesn’t want to gross them out and doesn’t want to be sick/affected in front of them. So he’s still very shy about it. Students have heard how he absorbs them and they ask questions pretty often but he just smiles and gives bare minimum details. The only students who have actively seen Suguru swallow a curse is Yuji, Megumi, and panda.

Suguru was asked to try and absorb Rika from Yuta when he first joined the school. But yuta refused. Suguru, after hearing yuta’s story, explained very seriously what would happen to her and how it is done. Yuta after thinking about it for a long time said that he wanted to free Rika, not erase her. So suguru worked with yuta on how to free rikas spirit without hurting her or yuta.

Teacher suguru doesn’t really pay attention to things like slang or social media. Satoru is pretty well versed in angsty teenager and has all the things like IG and TT. Suguru though, eh, he doesn’t really pay much attention. It took satoru years just to get him to get a smart phone. Suguru had a flip phone until he was like 25💀 he genuinely could not be bothered lmao.

The joke of suguru being an old man rings true as a teacher. He wakes up early and goes to be early. Lives off coffee and protein bars. Though he has a tendency to ignore his health a lot. He and satoru both constantly get on eachother about eating properly and sleeping. But they’re both awful about it. And then the KIDS when old enough started getting on them about it.

Suguru isn’t against PDA but doesn’t really initiate it. He just lets Satoru hang on him 24/7 and considers that his pda cus he doesn’t shove him away lmao. He doesn’t refuse kisses or hand holding. But he’s pretty closed lipped about he and Satoru’s relationship. Not out of shame or not comfortable, he’s just private. And doesn’t think it’s anyone’s business. Now if he’s asked if he’s married he happily says yes and loves people’s reactions when they realize HES the spouse of the infamous satoru Gojo.

Geto genuinely really enjoys being a teacher. He’s not interested in teaching like satoru though. He likes the specialization of curse manipulation because it makes him feel less like an anomaly. As well he doesn’t believe there’s enough training into things like shikigami. Most of Megumi’s training was done by suguru. And because there’s very little curse users he gets to spend extra special attention to the students he does get tossed to them. But since there isn’t that many he was asked to teach curse history as well where he gets to show off his curse arsenal very often.

Suguru’s curses are very well known…VERY feared. Nothing gets passed him NOTHING. But it’s also used an incentive. Especially with his very famous finals reward. If the entire class passes his final, you get to ride one of his curses of the classes unanimous choice. Rainbow dragon is very popular as you can imagine.