literal murder

absence of free will

being vulnerable

meaningless violence

lying to oneself

lies made for absolutely nothing but the sake of seriously hurting people on purpose—malicious lies, to put it short

people who make said lies

boredom

when you manipulate a trustworthy person to kill another person you were cooperating with, and in the trial you "realize" the former is "lying" so well that you—someone who's talent is based off of your ability to read people—can't even detect their tells, meaning that they were so much smarter than you realize, but despite their intelligence they still choose to play the "façade" of a clueless, innocent idiot. so you condemn them, to try to corner them out of their lies—out of disdain for being deceived this whole time, out of fear for having lost control since you can't see past their act, out of pity for someone that has been hiding behind a falsehood like the same way you have for the entirety of this killing game, or out of the desperate need to prove yourself wrong, that they were a liar to be kind to people, like you, like DICE, you can't pinpoint the reason why. maybe it's some, maybe it's all of them. either way, they don't let go of their "mask," insisting that they don't know anything, they're a gentleman, and gentlemen wouldn't kill people, honest! again and again, the same illogical attempts at a defense that everyone else just accepts. you wonder: why are they sticking to this front so stubbornly (you're asking that?), when they can just play along and defend themselves with a lie to incriminate you further? almost everyone would believe them anyway. what you've saw, what you've done, what you've realized, everything that's been happening… it's too much. you snap. if they understand that, then why aren't they doing it right? argue back already. use your head and make logical arguments to reach the verdict both of us want. just make an excuse or whatever. they still don't relent, and they go with the same answer: i don't know anything. you're so sick of hearing that, it's what they've been saying this whole time. you yell and scream at them with frustration, your composure breaking, before the detective reveals a truth that explains their behavior: they don't remember killing anyone. at this point, you know it's over, since the detective is bound to figure out the truth, and everyone is listening to him, so you speed up the trial to end it as quickly as possible. you antagonize your former partner, to ensure they die with hatred towards you, if they didn't already. but they don't. they don't hate you, even asking everyone to remain be friends with each other, including you. they get sent to death with tears and guilt, without knowing why they killed in the first place. you manipulated someone so kind into murder, berated them, and sent them to their death.

pig feet

.......but they are friends? not in the most obvious conventional way, but still. friends.

i mean, miu actually built his blueprints and vented to him before the events of chapter 4. not only that, but kokichi had faith in her skills as an inventor, genuinely listened to her vent (though he also may have realized she was planning to kill him at that time but y'know) and plays into her degrading kink (i say kink, because, well. it is. how are the words "finally someone called me a cum dumpster" supposed to be read as distress??) without really scaring her (note that being shouted at scares her, something he rarely does)

(also also. miu was heavily, heavily reluctant on killing him. and i doubt kokichi was feeling good about orchestrating her murder, too.)

i have no idea how to put it into words but the fact that it could indirectly reveal the kindness (or kind intentions, at least) of his more genuine self.........

oh GOD i was just reminded about the idea that kokichi metaphorically not taking shuichi's hand in the ftes because he knew that he might (again, metaphorically) involuntarily reveal that genuine, vulnerable part of him...... but he let the player take his hand because he's fucking willing to reveal it....

younger kokichi: these suckers. not sure why they're sticking around me, but they're perfect pawns to help me be free from this place. easy to use, easy to sacrifice. so there's no way i'm gonna put in the extra trouble of taking them with me.

not fully sure if these are the exact words but:

"I had to think this game was fun to survive… I had to lie to myself!"

↑ this implies that he has a problem of lying to himself, right? not exactly. it's implying that lying to himself is something he wouldn't normally do. like he's saying that "the kg was so atrocious that i had to do this." so contrary to what some people in the fandom think, he actually isn't a hypocrite about the whole "lying to yourself is bad" thing. he (rightfully) believes it's bad, and so he doesn't do it… in normal, non-traumatic situations. in situations as hellish as the kg (or the Angsty Backstory™ i'm cooking up for him), that's when he lies to himself and is a hypocrite about it.

(in other words, that line of dialogue states that the killing game caused him to lie to himself. it implies that it's something he usually wouldn't do. which also implies that he wouldn't lie to himself and he wouldn't be a hypocrite about it in non-despair settings. he's only like that in the kg.)

so it's practically confirmed in canon that DICE is basically kokichi's found family right? and i hc that kokichi's more relaxed around them. like he can be a little more of his "genuine self" w them.

but what if. it's the exact opposite. what if he lies and acts out his facade even more with DICE, because he's their leader. he's the embodiment of everything they stand for, he's the person that they're supposed to rely on, he's the one person who shouldn't show weakness, etc. he's their evil supreme leader, they're his minions. they certainly aren't friends or anything like that (<- his opinion). (it's kinda like a kaito situation (but yk. without the Heroics™ or the Terminal Disease™))

and kokichi isn't the type of person who cares about what other people think. but what if DICE is the exception. (↑reasons as to why he cares as stated above)