#dvmemes

( credit goes to rpmemetm. )

“ if you want a shot at being with me, maybe you should try talking to me like a human being ? got it ? ”

“ i’m sorry but i’m sick and tired of men acting like pouty babies. ”

“ girl, yo feet must be tired cause you’ve been running through my mind all day ! ”

“ it’s your world squirrel, i’m just tryin’ to get a nut. ”

“ mirror mirror on the wall, i’m not too short i’m not too tall, but damn if i don’t got it all. ”

” i exploit people everyday, but it’s thanksgiving so i’ll have the day off. “

“ hey baby, i noticed you noticing me and i just wanted to put you on notice that i noticed you too.”

“  what’s that hideous thing growing out of your neck ?! never mind, it’s just your head. ”

“ maybe i sometimes say things that are selfish and self-centered, but that’s who i am. ”

“ ain’t no thang but a chicken wing. ”

“ as my father used to say, it’s better to give than to receive. ”

“ i think you’ve been deprived of oxygen at birth. ”

“ it’s a cruel world big guy and you can’t be in it forever. ”

“ you’re a slacker. you say you want things but you’re never willing to work for it ! you never make the sacrifice. you think you’re just gonna charm your way through. ”

“ let me tell you something. i am nothing like my father. ”

“ come on, i gotta get you to the hospital ! ”

“ what’s french for ‘unwelcome guest’ ? ”

“ i would say i told you so, but i think the sentiment might be lost on you. ”

“ who do i need to fight ? ”  

“ i’ll make this better, just tell me how. ”

“ you probably shouldn’t try climbing that. ”

“ you’re okay. you’re safe. i’ve got you. ”

“ crying doesn’t make you weak. ”

“ i’m not going to claim you, don’t bother. ”

“ am i drunk? or do i look too drunk? ”

“you’re pretty cute. ”

( credit goes to devotedecay. )

( add ‘ reverse ‘  to your message if you’d like to see how my muse would perform the action ) .

[ lit ] your muse lighting a cigarette , spliff , etc. for mine .

[ order ]  your muse ordering for mine at the party .

[ guide ]  your muse putting a hand on mine’s back to lead them .

[ open ] your muse opening a door for mine .

[ instruct ] your muse giving mine instructions / telling them what to do .

[ groom ] your muse adjusting mine’s appearance , such as straightening a tie , fixing their hair , or buttoning their shirt for them , etc .

[ direct ] your muse taking mine by the chin and telling them to look yours in the eye .

[ disagree ] your muse sternly telling mine  ‘ no ‘ .

[ rest ] your muse resting their arm over mine’s shoulder / s .

[ clean ]  your muse cleaning a smudge of something off mine’s cheek , forehead , etc .   feel free to specify what and how .

[ answer ] your muse answering a question meant for mine .

[ coat ]   your muse holds mine’s coat out for them while they put it on .

[ pilot ] your muse taking mine by the arm , hand , shoulder , etc . to lead them .

[ stare ]  your muse staring mine down .

[ placement ] your muse telling mine to sit down .

[ teach ]  your muse taking control of mine’s hand , arm , hips , etc . to make sure they do something correctly .  

[ patience ] your muse telling mine to be patient .

[ tears ]  your muse wiping away mine’s tears .

[ swat ]  your muse swatting mine’s hand away from something they’re not supposed to touch .  

[ jewelry  ]  your muse clasping a piece of jewelry for mine , such as a necklace , or earrings .

[ enough ] your muse commanding mine to stop talking .

[ retrieve ]  your muse requesting or ordering mine to retrieve them something .

[ invite ] your muse inviting mine to sit on their lap .

[ lean ]  your muse inviting mine to lean into their side while they’re sitting or laying together .

[ calm ]   your muse telling mine to  ‘ just breathe ‘ .

[ scold ]  your muse scolding mine for something .

[ comfort ]  your muse pulling mine into a reassuring hug .

[ approval ]  your muse complimenting mine on a choice they’ve made .

[ beckon ] your muse beckoning mine to them without speaking .

[ laces ] your muse lacing , tying , or zipping something for mine , such as shoes , a dress , or a jacket , etc .

[ defend ]  your muse defending mine’s reputation , dignity , or safety for them .

[ feed ]  your muse feeding mine something , feel free to specify what .

[ volume ]  your muse demanding mine speak louder .

[ read ]  your muse reading something to mine .

[ refill ]  your muse refilling mine’s glass for them .