tws: mentions of bullying, blood, injury, self-loathing/depression
In the back of his mind, Junpei didnāt know if heād made the right choice.
Telling everyone about his talent- he didnāt regret that, strangely enough. It was better than having to hide it, better than being constantly paranoid that someone would find out, and use it against him. Sure, it may mean people would stay away from him... but was that truly a bad thing?
He knew what people had said to him. That they didnāt blame him, that it wasnāt his fault... and while he appreciated the sentiments, it simply wasnāt true. He knew his luck. He knew what happened. People got hurt.
There was a reason heād voted for himself.
It wasnāt like heād wanted to get himself hurt, and heād knownĀ that the class would vote correctly... but in the end, he couldnāt accept Cuphead as the killer. He couldnāt accept that horrible execution. He couldnāt accept Cuphead up and dying like that, leaving Mugman behind.
The world was cruel. It could be cold. He knewĀ that- heād learned that lesson far too well when heād been twelve, an image of red stained into his mind and the pain of being beaten black and blue by some idiot sadist bullies still echoing at the back of his memory. But still, he wanted to believe in something good.... it was just that, those good things didnāt happen to him. There was a reason heād moved to Hopeās Peak, despite being scouted on account of bad luck- itād still been better than the other school. Heād wanted to lie, to pretend that he wasnāt unlucky... but then this game had happened. It mustāve been punishment from god, for thinking he could actually escape his luck... instead of a new school and a new start, heād been thrown into a game of death.
And still, even still, Something as simple as Mugman hugging him and crying was enough to pull him back from the edge of despair, to give him a reason to want to hope.
He was unlucky, and he knew that. And yet, even accepting that, he was going to refuse to let that bad luck interfere now. If there was recoil, heād deal with that later- heād accept whatever was thrown back at him, even if that did mean death, so long as he could keep his promise. It didnāt matter whoād given him this luck; be it god, the devil, or something else entirely- he wouldnāt just lie down and accept this.
Mugman, Saturday, others too- they hadnāt hated him, even knowing his talent. They hadnāt blamed him, theyād accepted him. Even Rei, despite the fact that he couldnātāve known about Junpeiās talent- even then, heād still been nice to him. If he let himself freeze up, if he stumbled, heād only be letting all of them down, wouldnāt he?
Heād take on all the bad luck in the world, if he had to- heād just make sure to keep his promise. He hadĀ to.
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