#dune joke

baron harkonnen suddenly invited the atreides to giedi prime — to show off his bravado, casually flaunt his weapons, and, of course, mock his old enemies. or maybe even extract a secret or two. you never know with those treacherous harkonnens, right?

naturally, the atreides were wary, but they came. otherwise, there would be an interplanetary scandal, and they couldn’t possibly admit to being afraid of the harkonnens?! they stay for a day, then another, then a third — no one has been found with a knife in their throat, the food isn't poisoned, no one has shoved the duke off a cliff, the baron is suspiciously friendly, and he hasn’t even slipped any snakes into their boots.

on the fourth day, the duke and the baron are having dinner, making small talk. they’ve knocked back some kirana brandy and are already cursing the padishah emperor. around them, of course, the entire harkonnen guard stands at attention, guarding the siridars’ peace and diligently not listening to their treasonous chatter (though piter de vries is carefully eavesdropping through a special spy hole).

suddenly, the doors burst open with a bang, and kudu storms into the hall, looking absolutely deranged — eyes bulging, hair disheveled, uniform crooked and half-unbuttoned, dagger in hand, and an overall expression like he’s just been electrocuted. He bursts in and shouts:

— who threw a boot onto the control panel?!