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i feel mad about still being so affected by the memories of my ex because i’m genuinely doing SO much better without him. he hurt me but i came out so much better than i was before. i wouldn’t say i’m thriving but i’m working so hard to get there. there are so many accomplishments big and small from things i worked for every single day, and i should be proud, but it’s really hard to celebrate when my brain will only focus on the negative parts
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yeah ive got a giant rotting flesh wound. yeah sorry im aware i should probably cover it from others eyes because it’s a bit unsightly, i don’t really know how to do that though. yeah i know i’m not supposed to talk about the giant rotting flesh wound. yeah i know you’re gonna feel too awkward about bringing it up. yeah i know it’s uncomfortable if i joke about it. hey, actually, god it kills me how much the giant rotting flesh wound itches - oh, sorry, right: not supposed to obsess so much about it. please lets go back to ignoring my rot. #myrot
this post is cancelled btw. wheeler yuta did not only get to kill his father figure but also his love wanted him to stay and gave him purpose. if we think about it then yuta got a pretty sweet deal actually
if i ever date a guy again he’s going to have the most normal mom ever. he’s going to introduce me to his mom and his mom is gonna be like “are you going to steal my son away from me” and i’m going to look like i’m about to throw up for real and she’s going to be like “lol just kidding 😜” and then she will show me his baby pictures and compliment my knitted scarf. he will also have siblings that he had lots of fights with growing up so he isn’t conflict avoidant to the extreme. it’s ok if he has trauma from something else but he’ll already have started working on it before our relationship starts.
downsides of being single:
no one to badger into going to plays or whatever with me. when a friend says ‘no’ youre just supposed to accept that answer 🙄
my heating bill was so bad for december😭 which is horrible cause i expected heat/electrics/water bills to all be lower. the contract got transferred to my name so i thought they’d made a mistake with the estimated heat use. nope. i’d taken a pic of the reader when ex moved out and compared and i did use almost three as much heating by myself compared to last year. i think i just turn on the radiator a whole lot more while living by myself
forget to cut my toenails cause no one’s complaining about being stabbed by them when i warm my feet on them in the middle of the night when i’m cold
no one to warm my feet on in the middle of the night 🥶
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unfortunately. it seems i’m fundamentally unlovable
spent time with my ex having some difficult talks but also just regular hanging out and it was a fun evening and i didn’t die because of seeing him but also holy shit i want him back. i want him back very badly
going over to a stranger to pick up a grimy rug for free, then my stupid dumbass ex is coming over to pack some of his stupid dumbass stuff, then while he does that i’ll go to a silent reading meetup. im such an #active person who goes places and does activities and isnt struggling big at all (sarcasm)
