#dulce mentioned

Write something that your character would write about mine in their diary.

I almost wish I hadn’t taken things slow with Vortanul.

Slow. Things were hardly slow. I fell into bed with him before I even knew his name. I came back for more. And more. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop. 

From the beginning it was far more than just sex. Oh, it was far more. I tried to be sensible for Sabaja, I did. I hope I was. And then when Vortanul suggested we see more of each other, I wanted to run. I wanted to run so fast to him and say yes, yes! 

But then, Dulce...Dahakhas. When he left, he told me to take it slow. And I did.

Because I loved him. Because I love I him.

I took it steady. We dated. We did not move in together. I even waited a long while until he and Sabaja met. 

But all it did. All this did - was give me time. Time to think. Time to dwell. Time to miss Dulce.

I wish we had never taken things slow. I wish we had wrapped ourselves further into the heated passion of our affair and just - moved in. Became a family. Married. Anything.

Oh Vortanul. I love you. I love you, so much. When I’m with you, I am happy. My hearts swell with joy at the sight of you; I never want to look away. Your touch, your embrace - I feel safe. I feel wanted. 

Why did I wait? I should have let you have all of me. All of me.

I love you.

But I also love another.