#dsturbedsoldat

𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂  𝐑𝐏  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒  .  .  .  (  pt  3.  the  first  admission  ) ( ACCEPTING! )

her mind races and reels in this quiet aftermath. she replays it in her head, the words, the tone of his voice, the way he looks at her as if he somehow needs to explain why he'd say it. she shakes her head, but not against his confession; no. just against whatever voice is telling him he needs to justify it. but it's a number of things that happen together that cause her to feel overwhelmed. first the revelation. then the farewell. then the connection. and why does he need to leave? where is he going? he needs to stay here, just for a minute, just to talk, to sit and drink tea and understand what this whole new chapter means for them, because even if he doesn't know it, saying what he just said... that changes things. everything. every single act that exists between them.

" bucky. " her voice is a soft, hoarse whisper, her hands reaching out to try and take his. she's wanted to say it, of course. every time they went out on the road, or on a mission, or whenever he'd drop by to help her with some project or another. she felt the words uncurl on her tongue, desperate to be released, but she'd always stop short. always catch herself before she really made that first, irrevocable step across the invisible line. and now, they're here. she's holding his hands like they're the only sure thing left on this earth. he still looks as though he's just said the worst thing in the world. and she can think of so many, too many, things to say back. they're spilling over, a tidal wave of things left unsaid for far too long. and she wants to say all of them! but he's... leaving.