#drunkheph

Hephaestus: y’such n ashole. 

Hephaestus: y’look liek a beehiv attackd your mouth.

Hephaestus: I qustion your age alot. Y’so annoyin n stop textin me pics f candy dmmit.

Hephaestus: …

Hephaestus: …I wsh y’didn’t fck evryone

Hephaestus: I whs y’wldn’t tell m y’want m an then fck /ev er y one/

Hephaestus: y’mke me sad, dis y y’dnt evr get th booty n nvr will

Hephaestus: i liek whn y’sleep next t’me, bu smtimes tha makes me sad 2

Hephaestus: s’herd y’like baby dic?

Hephaestus: I wasnt expectin’ tha

Hephaestus: Y’kno y’seem cool but liek we both kno your psycho rigth? we both /kno/

Hephaestus: Y’seem liek yo’d be in t’some werd stuff tpp. 

Hephaestus: R ya secretly christnia grey?? y’kno ya got a dungen somwher

Hephaestus: Y’hav beutifl eyes tho. We’re cool man

Hephaestus: s’far i kno like 3 thins bout ya

Hephaestus: yer than’s bby, bro? bby bro idk somthin

Hephaestus: Your on th path of domestic voilenc wit Hades

Hephaestus: n y’stare at m’body.

Hephaestus: yknow you n twinkies hav alot in comon

Hephaestus: both twinks with creamy centr, ba dm stk

Hephaestus: smtimes your car an I have real dep convsations

Hephaestus: I fell liek she rly undertnds me yknow?

Hephaestus: is she ther? can ya giv her the phne?

Hephaestus: I knw y’call her your bby but liek Im p sure she is my bby by now. I put so mch in to her.

Hephaestus: Nyx, Nyxay, Nyc Nac Paddy Wak

Hephaestus: I fnd it strngly arousin when ya hit ppl

Hephaestus: y’should hit more pepl

Hephaestus: hit zeus

Hephaestus: New phone, who dis??

Hephaestus: fckn thnks obama

Hephaestus: The govmnt is a lie pas it on

Hephaestus: MOO MOOMOO MOS MO MOS

Hephaestus: MO HOES, MO MONEY, MO BTCHS, MO PROBLMS, APPA YIP YIP

Hephaestus: I aprciate ya. okay. Y’can be annoyin lil shit, but ykn that 

Hephaestus: Y’my boi tho, i gotchu. 

Hephaestus: Not eryone wants to fck ya okay. Y’dont see me up dat tree. 

Hephaestus: I feel liek I colud throw y’in the pcfic ocaen and ya’d still be thursty. 

Hephaestus: hw are y’supposed t’be my dad when Im liek oldr than u??

Hephaestus: ngl if ya werent like a totl douche i’d think bot hittin it. but when u spk my brain gets angry. #bnrkiller

Hephaestus: btws I take bttr dickpics