#drunkbrain

Me sober: Omg there are people EVERYWHERE. I bet they’re all judging me. Who am I kidding, I’m still soooooo fat. Oh god they all think I’m fat and lazy and eat crap BUT I swear I work out and eat well and I’m losing weight so stop judging me okay?! I HATE people, I just wanna go home. 

Things I’ve said/done in the last 24 hours that make me thing I need to stop drinking: 1. “If we’re gonna drink, maybe I should stop by target and get a dress and some draws or something cause I’m prolly gonna end up staying over.” 2. “Should we not go see David Sedaris and just start drinking instead?” (Don’t worry, I totally went, and it was MUCH better than drinking!!) 3. “I usually think spiderweb tattoos on the elbow are douchie, but that one’s not bad.” Then like 10 minutes later… “Yea, normally spiderwebs tattoos on your elbow seem awful to me, but yours ain’t bad. Really beautiful work. Not at all douchie like normal.” Then 5 minutes later… “You know, normally spiderweb tattoos…….” 4. Woke myself up snoring, immediately panicked cause I couldn’t find my CPAP machine, remembered I wasn’t at home, then seriously considered asking to borrow one. Using that logic that my friend is a nurse, so surely she has one lying around. 5. “All I’ve got in my purse is candy, pills, make up, condoms and trash. It’s like I’m a hooker or something.” 6. Arrived home at 12:30pm with food and blizzards from Dairy Queen, in the same clothes I had on the day before. A walk of shame, with no sex involved. Some how that makes it even more shameful. 7. Spent the ENTIRE day on the couch being cranky and hung over. Watching Law & Order SVU out of one eye. Randomly unfollowing people on Twitter cause “I don’t like they face.” 8. Screamed “Muthafucking shitcocking asshole!” when I stubbed my toe. Then angrily whispered, “I’m going to bed!”. Followed by a dramatic stomp upstairs leaving my sister and Ty wondering WTF is wrong with me.

Lots of people wonder why I don’t get really drunk, or why I don’t lose control often while drinking; it’s because the next day I’m like a fucking toddler. I have no control of what I say, and I hate everyone cause I don’t feel good.