in a better world i come up with a title for this one. oh well.
a little peak into what drk might look like if kris had a noelle factive! while me and stars have talked a lot about this au there is very little that is set in stone, and i really wanted to see what kris and elly's dynamic might look like. thus this piece! i hope you enjoy, and if you want to know anything else feel free to ask! <3
story under the cut!
The first thing Elly hears when she opens her eyes is, <itâs been three days!!>
<Oh,> Elly says, still remembering what it feels like to talk. And think. And have a body. When she flexes her hands she can hear Kris giggling against her mind, their mind, whatever space it is that they share. Ba says theyâre allowed to conceptâŚconceptualize it however they want, and Elly likes to think of it like a bed they share. Bigger than the bed they have in their room, but not so big they canât accidentally kick each other off of it sometimes.
Also the sheets are snowflake patterned. Thatâs really important.
<Elly,> Kris whines, which means stop thinking and start listening to me! Elly, being a good sister, only laughs at them a little bit. <Youâre the worst.>
Elly shrugs. Itâs more inside than out, though sheâs kinda aware of the world outside and not just because of Kris. Remembering she has a body always takes a bit. Sometimes looking in the mirror helps. Like a shock to her system. (<Pfft, system> says Kris, and she pinches them.) Krisâs face stares back at her, and they wave. She grins back. Theyâve got their charm wrapped around a tine of their antler, the beaded one they and Elly made back when they first realized there were two of them. Brown and green for Kris, white and pink for Elly. And both at the same time for both of them. Though usually their family is pretty good at telling who it is.
<What did you do while you were gone?> Kris asks, poking at the general idea of her.
<You know I donât remember stuff like that.> She doesnât think Kris does, either, because she really doubts theyâre actually exploring schemas whenever they canât talk to each other, no matter how much they insist otherwise. Inside is a room they share and Ellyâs pretty sure thereâs not much beyond it.
For Elly itâs like closing her eyes. Sometimes it just takes a lot longer for her to open them back up.
<Well you didnât miss nothing if you were wondering,> Kris says, flopping back onto their bed. <Ba bought more bagels finally.>
Elly perks up. <For me!>
<Dunno why you like them. Theyâre just kinda okay.> Kris crinkles their nose. <Anyways we had a test in school and I maybe did kinda bad but whatever. Um I fought Frisk over who gets to use the computer and totally won so donât listen to anything they say.>
She giggles. <Sure, Kris.> She does feel a bit bad about the test though. Sheâs pretty good at them! She justâŚdidnât hear Kris calling for her.  <Was that it?>
<Oh and Dess came back,> Kris says, and Ellyâs jaw drops. <So yeah nothing important.>
<What? What? WHAT?> Elly flails in headspace, tumbling her way more firmly in the body. Owowo, Kris has a headache so now she has one, but this is more important, because, <thatâs the most important thing ever! Kris!>
Kris giggles, like the terrible worst sibling they are. <Okay maybe one important thing happened.>
<Youâre my least favorite sibling,> Elly says, which really isnât a competition, because Frisk is great and Dess is like her sistermom and doesnât really count, because sheâs Ellyâs sister and Krisâs mom but sort of Ellyâs mom too. Itâs complicated. <Where is she?>
<I dunno its like five am so asleep?> Kris doesnât protest when Elly stands though, shaking all of Krisâs sleepiness out of her limbs to go make a beeline right for Dess and Baâs room. She remembers to be quiet for Frisk but forgets about that once sheâs in the hallway. Her hooves tap tap tap against the hardwood. She likes listening for the steady click of them, âcause itâs a way she walks different from Kris. Itâs still weird that whenever she looks in a mirror itâs just Kris staring back at her even when she knows sheâs there too. But the differences make it better.
Anyways, they donât have to go very far to find Dess because sheâs not actually in her room but instead in the living room, poking on her really ugly phone she has. Even she says its ugly and a brick but itâs the only thing that knows how to survive in the darkest and deepest places. Also it has breakout on it so itâs pretty okay even if it canât really use the internet good and stuff.
âDess!â Elly cheers, and charges for her.
Voice is another way where itâs pretty easy to tell them apart. Krisâs is all grumbly but hers is way higher pitched than theirs even if she kinda has to focus to make it that way. So sometimes they end up sounding similar. But still, itâs different enough that the people who know them best, like Ba and Frisk and Dess, can pretty much tell almost all of the time. And Dess does! Because Elly barrels into her chest for a hug, and Dess grins, and says, âPhotocopy! Welcome back.â
Elly beams. Dess isnât supposed to call her that, because one day Ba found out and yelled at her for like ever, which wasnât fun, because Elly and Kris and Frisk just had to kinda hide in their room and pretend like they were playing when really they were listening super intently. Well Elly and Kris were. She canât always tell with Frisk. Their listening face is the same as their ignoring face.
But for Elly and Kris it was a big fight, which doesnât usually happen where they can hear it. Elly only sorta kinda understands what the fight was about. She knows that once long ago Dess had a sister also named Ellyâwell Noelle but Ellyâs full name is Noelle she just likes Krisâs nickname for her moreâand thenâŚsomething happenedâŚand now Elly is here! Sheâs not sure why her parents think itâs complicated. Sure maybe Elly didnât always live in Krisâs head but sheâs pretty okay with it. Even if Kris isnât as tall as her.
Either way even if photocopy is a weird nickname Elly like it. âcause itâs something just for her and Dess, and she preens into the attention, wriggling closer to her sistermom.
âKris didnât tell me you came back âtil the end,â Elly tells her, ignoring Kris wailing, <tattler!> âThey said nothing important happened! Can you believe them?â
âKeeping you on your toes, huh?â Dess teases, and Elly pouts. âAww, Elly, youâll be alright. Glad you came back, I was worried I wouldnât see you.â
Elly shrugs. âSometimes itâs just real hard to exist.â
Kris adds, âsheâs not as good as it at me.â And grins all stupid.
âHey!â Elly slaps their arm. âYouâre bad at existing! Iâm super great at it!â
âYouâre both very good at existing,â Dess tells them, and Kris sticks out their tongue. Elly because sheâs way better just sits a bit straighter. âKris told me all about what theyâve been getting up to alone, photocopy, what about you?â
âWell I think Monday we had to run the mile in PE and I totally beat all the other kids there,â Elly says, even though maybe that Monday was two Mondays ago, and so the conversation continues.
After, Elly gets to play breakout on Dessâs phone, curled up at her sistermomâs side, listening to her stories all warm background. Kris wraps around her heart and watches, content to just exist together, no need to fight over who gets their body. Theyâre only sort of annoying. And soon when the sunâs actually starting to rise Dess will take them outside, up to the roof thatâs technically locked up but if Dess can break in is it really locked, and Elly will giggle, no no no, and from there they can watch the sunrise.
All pink-gold and shimmering. Elly and Kris will see it as they see most things: always together.
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this has been open in my drafts for like four months and im finally admitting that i dont think im adding anything else to it so i offer it to you guys instead <3 an offshoot au of drk in which dess also has ralsei. i cannot explain it any further in this post but for all intents and purposes dess is ralsei's biological mother (its a bit more complicated than that). questions can be directed to my askbox. i dont remember how we got here either.
story under the cut!!!!!! of this dynamic i made up entirely but deeply fascinates ME!!!!!!!! ignore the fact i clearly havent come up with what dess's nickname for chara is its not important--
Ralsei wakes up in a car.
âWhaââ She tries to sit up, sit forward, but it stopped by the seatbelt tugging her back, tight across her chest. SheâŚshe was in her bed. She was absolutely in her bed, because she remembers Krisâs music being loud despite wearing them headphones, and having to climb up to their bunk to whap them with her pillow just to get her twin to turn it down. And then sheâŚshe went back under her covers, and sheâŚ
âYou cannotâDecember Hyacinth!â ThatâsâŚBaâs voice. Ralsei rubs at her eyes, sniffs. Her allergies have been pretty bad lately and so sheâs been keeping a box of tissues on her bed. But when she reaches out it isnât there, becauseâŚbecause sheâs in a car. TheâŚbackseat⌠âYou turn around right now, so help me godââ
âNo-can-do, [nn]!â Dessâs voice is loud and cheery and lacking the tinny resonance of Baâs. Ralsei blinks. The world, slowly, comes into focus around her. She is in the back of a car. Dark leather seats. In the front isâDess. Mom. Ralsei didnât even know she was coming back. HadâŚcome back. Where are they? Outside the sky is dark, a smear of faint stars, the shiny highway signs reflecting headlights. She can see trees bordering the road and little else. Ralseiâs still wearing her pajamas, soft pale colors. Dess isnât much better, with faded clothes and a jacket Ralsei recognizes as one of Baâs, since itâs too small on Dess.
âWhat the fuck do you mean no can do,â says Ba, over the carâs Bluetooth. That explains how tinny xir voice is. Ralsei leans her head against the window. Why is it so hard to breathe? âWhere are you? Why would you justâif you wanted to go on a trip, you couldâveâKris has been crying for nearly an hour now and youâve wrecked Friskâs routineâyou took my daughter without telling meâ"
âHey, you get the kids, like, ninety, ninety-five percent of the time! Canât a gal want to get some bonding time in with her, yâknow.â Ralsei catches the edge of her motherâs lazy grin, waving her hand not on the steering wheel. âItâll just be a few days max. Bounce around a few nearby states, check out some tourist traps, sell some weirdass shit I picked up, maybe check out a schema or twoââ
âIf you bring Ralsei into a schema,â says Ba, xir voice dark, âI will go in there myself to drag you both out, and you will never see the kids again.â
Dess is quiet for a long moment.
ââŚI was just joking, Chara,â she says. âI wouldnâtâI wasnât gonnaââ
Ralsei hears Baâs inhale.
âDess,â xe says, and xir voice cracks. âI just. I donât understand. Please tell me where you are. Please come back home.â
âFew days max, [nn], promise,â Dess says. âIâll keep Ralsei safe, okay? Weâll have a blast! Kris and I do dumb shit all the time. Figured it was time to offer Ralsei the same thing.â
âDess,â Ba says, again. Pleading.
âSorry.â Dess moves her hand to the end call button. âItâll be fine. Promise. Iâll see you in a few days. Tell Kris and Frisk IâI love them, and, umâyou too, [nn]. IâŚI hope you know you really do mean the world to me.â
She presses the button. The faint static crackling, and any remnants of Baâs voice, vanish. Dess slumps a bit in her seat.
Ralsei tries, âMom?â
Dess jerks. âOh!â She twists half-around, catches sight of Ralsei, before returning most of her attention to the road. All empty and looming. âHey, shadow of mine. You, uhâcaught all that. Did you.â
âIâŚâ Ralseiâs voice is thick in her mouth. Her hands fumble with the end of her shirt. Her bed is so much softer than a car could be. Warmer, too. Is she shivering? She misses all her stuffed animals. Even if Kris teases her about them. Theyâre the best to burrow underneath. âI donâtâŚI donât knowâŚhow did we get here?â
âYeah, doubt you remember. You slept like a baby! Actually no you didnât, babies are terrible and scream all the time. You slept like something much better. But, uh, hey!â She grins over her shoulder at Ralsei. âWeâve never just taken a trip, me-and-you, huh? What better time to do than now! Itâs winter break, all the highway attractions will be selling hot chocolateââ
âMomâŚ?â
ââand the next time we stop, how about you come sit up front?â Dess grins. âWay better than being stuck in the back.â
Ralsei blinks. âBa says the back is safer. âtilâŚâtil weâre taller.â
âWhat Chara doesnât know wonât hurt xir,â Dess says. She sticks her free hand back towards Ralsei. âWhaddya say, little shadow?â
Ralsei wants to be in her bed. She wants to wake up to Kris being annoying and to help Ba make breakfast and to watch cartoons with Frisk. She wants to go home, where itâs warm, where she knows what to expect, where she can go to school and listen to her ba and sprawl out with her siblings and. And and and.
Dess waggles her hand.
Ralsei surges forwards to take it.
_ _ _
Sitting in the front of the car isnât actually all that different from sitting in the back. Either way, Ralsei can feel exhaustion down to her bones, and a gnawing pit of hunger in her stomach, and the car rattles her no differently with her cheek pressed up against the window, a cool chill settling across her fur. Sheâs got her baâs borrowed jacket draped over her, though she doesnât remember when that happened. She tugs it closer.
âMom?â Ralsei mumbles. Outside the world is a blur of grays and streaky streetlights. Itâs raining, she thinks: she can hear the patter of it, a second rhythm to the thrum of the car. âMomâŚ?â
No response from Dess. Ralsei shifts, hugging her arms around herself as she lifts up her head and looks over to Dess. Her mother is clutching the steering wheel like Kris when theyâre trying to strangle the life out of their plushies in their games. Without the jacket Ralsei can make out the faded pattern on her shirt, the cracked colors of the graphic for Ralseiâs old daycare, the place where her parents met. The sky is a dulled dark.
âDess,â Ralsei tries.
Dess jerks. âHuh?â
âIâmâŚâm hungryâŚâ Ralsei sniffles, rubbing at her eyes. And itâs so hard to keep them open, tooâŚitâs probably only the hunger thatâs kept her from falling asleep. âWhat time is it?â
âYou, uh, donât want to know.â Dessâs voice is too-loud in the stillness. ââŚshit. Kids need food and sleep and stuff huh.â
Ralsei yawns, nodding. âMmm-hmmâŚâ
âJustâsit tight. Iâll find something soon.â Dess glances to her, one hand on the wheel, and ruffles the fur atop her head. Ralsei leans into it, though sheâs not able to stifle another yawn. âProbably a Waffle House open around here or somethingâŚâ
Ralsei doesnât really remember much else. Just faint flickersâshe thinks she sleeps, in jerky half-starts, while the car rumbles on. The blinding fluorescents of the grimy Waffle House Dess brings them too, leaning into her motherâs side and trying not to face-plant into her hashbrowns. Dess carries her into the motel, Ralseiâs head pressed to her heart.
âAlright, shadow,â Dess says, once the door to the room has swung shut behind them. Itâs smallâthe room barely fits the single bed, the curtains in tatters, the wallpaper a peeling brown. She sets Ralsei down atop the bed and its off-white sheets. âWeâve got the room for like, twelve hours, so. How long do kids need to sleep?â
âBa saysâŚlotta it.â Ralseiâs already sinking into the bedsheets. âMomââ she reaches out a hand.
âYeah, yeah. I gotâcha.â Dess takes her hand, rubs it. âIâll hang around here, donât worry. Itâs our roadtrip, yeah?â
âOurs,â Ralsei echoes. Thereâs something soft about the wordâabout this space, just the two of them, without Kris or Frisk or Ba.
âThatâs right, shadow,â Dess says, âours. Soâsleep tight, okay?â
Ralsei mumbles something, maybe. But for the most part sheâs already drifting off.
_ _ _
When Ralsei next wakesâwakes up for real, not the sort of waking that is mostly just the inbetween-state of awake and asleepâthere is sunlight shining in through a browning window, she is not in her bed, and Dess is pacing the length of the room.
Motel room. Right. Ralsei rubs at her eyes as she sits up, and her movements draw Dessâs attention over to her, her motherâs face flickering for a moment before she drops down at the foot of the bed, and Ralsei crawls up to her.
âYouâre up! Good. Good good.â Dess digs a hand into her pocket. Ralsei sits there at her side, and Dess drops an arm around her shoulders, tugging her closer. Smushed against Dess her fur prickles at Ralseiâs ownâher motherâs fur has always been coarse where Ralseiâs was soft. âI was gonna answer Charaâs calls once you woke up. If you wanted to talk to xir?â
Ralsei shrugs. The entire room is lit yellow, from the window, from the off-white walls, a sort of cream. Dust spirals through the air like millions of tiny bugs. âWhere are we going?â
âCouple specific places to pawn a few things,â Dess says, tapping at her phone. Itâs more brick than phone. Since Ralsei last saw her mother the screen has collected even more cracks, and bits of Dessâs fur stick in them. âI wasnât joking about roadside attraction hot chocolate. Chara banned us from schemas but I wouldnât bring you into the dark either way.â For a long moment her gaze settles on Ralsei, before she shakes herself and prods at her phoneâs screen again. âStupid thing barely wants to registerâŚâ
Mostly, Ralsei just watches her mother. The call goes through, eventually, and Dess stands when she talks on it. The content of her words washes over Ralsei. Sheâs good at tuning out her parentsâ arguments. Instead she catalogs Dess in her mind: the frayed edges of her shirt, the flyaway hairs, the dark edges to her eyes, like roiling shadow. Eventually, Dess slows, stills. Rolls her eyes.
âYeah, âcourse I was gonna let her talk to you, Chara.â A pause. âYou worry way too much. Let me do the worrying for us? You just stay safe! But yeah, here, one secâŚâ She turns to face Ralsei, moving the phone away from her ear. âChara wants to talk, you awake enough for that?â
Ralsei nods, reaching out for the phone.
âTalk as long as you want,â Dess says, passing the phone down to Ralsei. âIâm gonna take a shower. Just donât read my emails!â Her voice is light as she ruffles Ralseiâs head and heads off for the bathroom. Ralsei curls around the phone, sets it on speaker as the bathroom door clicks shut.
âRalsei?â Ba asks.
âHi Ba,â Ralsei says. The words sound quiet even to her. She clears her throat and that doesnât help much. âI miss you.â
âI miss you too, dear,â Ba says. Xe soundsâŚtired, mostly. Just tired. âRalsei, if you want me to come pick you up, just let me know, okay? I know Dess isâexcitingâbutâŚâ
âIâŚâ Ralsei trails off. Sheâd rather her own bed than this room. The blankets are too scratchy and the leather of Dessâs car scrapes off against her fur. But Dess wanted Ralsei to come with her. Not Ba, not Frisk, and not Kris. Her. Ralsei. âI wannaâŚI wanna stay. Itâs okay.â
âIf youâre sure.â Baâs quiet for a moment. âPlease call me whenever, okay? Iâve told Dess to call me at least once a day but if you want it more than that, sheâll listen. Andâplease, please, donât do anything dangerous? Please. Ralsei, if something were to happen to youââ
âIt wonât, Ba.â Ralsei traces a claw down the jagged edge of a crack. âPromise. Momâll keep me safe. She fights all the bad stuff.â
âYes, well. I just worry, is all.â Ba sighs. âDo you want to talk to your siblings? Kris has been awake all night, practically, and I can go grab Frisk as well.â
Ralsei nods, then says, âyes please.â
âOkay. Hereâs Kris, one secondâŚâ Thereâs a faint scuffling over the line, and then:
âRALSEI!â Ralsei jerks away with the force of Krisâs voice. âItâs no fair!!!! I wanna go on the trip with you and Mom too!!!â
Ralsei laughs, a bit, shaking her head.
âBa says Dess wanted mother-daughter bonding time,â Kris grumbles, and Ralsei can almost see her twin crossing their arms, that cute grumbly expression on their face. Kris claims it makes them look very scary but really they just look like a kicked puppy. âBut what about mother-KRIS bonding time huh. Then Ba said well why donât we have Ba and Kris bonding time at home, and I said we always do that but Mom isnât here always and itâs not fair Ralsei gets all the mom time!â Something twists in Ralseiâs gut. âThen Ba said Kris Dess spends a lot of time with you when sheâs home and I said but not enough.â
They huff. âSo basically have so much fun for me okay Ralsei? I canât be there so you gotta!â
âOkay, Kris,â Ralsei says. Her voice sticks in her throat. âI will.â
They talk a bit longer, about less important things. How neither of them are looking forwards to returning to school after the break ends (at least they still have another two weeks). What should happen next in their games (Kris is rooting for the plushies to stage an overthrow, Ralsei thinks everyone should just talk things out). If anything interesting happened while they were apart (Ralsei talks about Waffle House; Kris recounts their latest trip digging through the hall closet).
Eventually Frisk joins, and Ralsei tells them good morning, gets some birdsong sound effects in response. âThanks, Frisk,â she says. âIâll try to bring something back for you.â This time she gets explosions. She really hopes Mom will take her somewhere where she can actually follow through on that promise.
By the time Dess comes out of the shower Ralseiâs hung up, after about five minutes of yes, Ba, Iâll be fine, Iâm eleven now you donât have to worry! She hops off the bed at Dessâs return, Dess tugging a mostly broken hairbrush through her short hair.
âDoes the shower work?â Ralsei asks.
âIf you love low water pressure.â Dess grimaces. âItâll get the job done if you want to use it. I packed some clothes for you, but I did just sort of grab whatever I saw.â She nods over to a backpack, tossed in the corner of the room. âAll in there.â
âOkay,â Ralsei says, but she doesnât make for getting ready right away. âWhere are we going today?â
âLike I said, pawning some schema stuff. First of the shops is, eh, few hours from here?â Dess wobbles a hand. âTime is weird. Would go faster if we cut through the dark, but.â
Ralsei shivers, inching closer to her mother.
ââŚyeah,â Dess says, quiet, and for a moment Ralsei is drawn into her, folded against her chest. She can hear the steady beat of Dessâs heart, the off-kilter thrum of magic. âThat stuffâs dangerous. Stay away from it. If the dark ever tried to get youâŚâ
âI donât want it to get me,â Ralsei whispers, clutching for her motherâs arm.
âDonât worry,â Dess says. âIt wonât.â Her voice hardens; she tugs Ralsei closer. âI wonât let it.â
Dess is woken with a grunt when a pointy figure lands on her stomach.
âDess!â The voice is Krisâs, a loud whisper, and when she blinks open her eyes it is to see the kid digging their knees into her chest through the blankets, lit only by what weak moonlight trickles in through the bedroom window. Their antlers are knocked askew on their head, and even with her bleary eyes Dess reaches out to straighten them, some strange instinct.
âDess!â Krisâs voice raises. âDess! I gotta show you something!â
âAtâŚâ Dess scrubs at her eyes, glancing to the clock on her nightstand. ââŚtwo in the morning?â
do YOU want to read ~2.5k words of dess&kris stuff i wrote for the dess raises kris au? do you like stories about parenthood and music and being bad at one and leaving the other behind? of course you do!!!!! you can get that HERE!!!!
the rest of the fic is under the cut! <3
Dess is woken with a grunt when a pointy figure lands on her stomach.
âDess!â The voice is Krisâs, a loud whisper, and when she blinks open her eyes it is to see the kid digging their knees into her chest through the blankets, lit only by what weak moonlight trickles in through the bedroom window. Their antlers are knocked askew on their head, and even with her bleary eyes Dess reaches out to straighten them, some strange instinct.
âDess!â Krisâs voice raises. âDess! I gotta show you something!â
âAtâŚâ Dess scrubs at her eyes, glancing to the clock on her nightstand. ââŚtwo in the morning?â
Kris nods. Dess mumbles, âwouldnât you rather wake Chara?â
Kris is already shaking their head, pawing at her chest with even more force. Dess literally is not even wearing a shirt. Or pants. Quite frankly sheâs lucky she bothered to wear underpants to sleep. Next to her Chara hasnât stirred, though sheâs sure that wonât last much longer if she doesnât get Kris out of here.
âŚtwo in the morning though, seriously?
âOkay, fine,â she says, sitting up and running her fingers through her messy hair to try and mostly keep it out of her eyes. Kris perches in her lap, hugging her arm against them, and despite it allâshe has slept like shit for the past few daysâit still brings a fond smile to her face. She drops her free hand to ruffle their hair, taking care not to dislodge their antlers. âYou little harbinger. Just lemme like throw on a bra or something. Shh, donât wake Chara.â
Kris giggles, mimes zipping their lips shut. Little nightmare of an eight-year-old. Theyâre tiny enough that when she stands she can just pick them up, held under the armpits, though sheâs nowhere near as good as Chara is at the whole carrying-a-kid-one-handed thing. Instead she sets them down and pushes them towards the door, and thankfully they seem to get the point, scurrying back out.
What she wouldnât give to fall back asleep right now.
Least Chara slept through it. She watches the slumbering form of her spouse before she actually goes to dig out a bra, the rise and fall of xir chest. Itâsâweird. Itâs her fifth night sleeping here. She hadnât even planned to come home. It was just, halfway through a schema bash, like sheâd stepped into a freezing shower. Couldnât do it. She packed up that day, which mostly just meant grabbing her bag she kept on her at all times anyways, and dove down into the tunnels that would send her closest.
Still had to pay like way too much for an Uber, but.
Once sheâs mostly decent she heads out of her room and down the hallway, where Kris is waiting, perking up upon seeing her and grabbing her hand. They drag her down the hall and into the living room, shoving her onto the couch and clambering into her lap before sheâs even gotten comfortable.
âHarbinger?â Dess asks. Kris hums, nestling against her.
âGotta show you something!â They twist around to grin, their eyes practically shining. The living room is much better lit than her roomâChara keeps a lamp on in case the kids wake upâand in the warm orange glow she can see the freckles smattered across their face, fawn-flecked. âSo I couldnât sleep and I was digging through the closetââ
âYou were what,â Dess says.
Kris continues, ignoring her. ââand I found this in there!â They take something out of their pocket and press it into her hands, though with them taking up like her entire lap itâs a bit hard to see what it is. Dess squints and brings the object closer to her face. âYou make music?!â
âMusic?â Dess asks, squinting harder. âWhat are youââ
The objectâs form comes together all-at-once. CD case. The edge of the cover paper is ripped, because she fucked up putting it in. The art is all Asrielâsâhe really captured the punk-rock stage persona sheâd always dreamed of. Even if he was still in his only drawing anime eyes phase.
She can still remember making it. Prying out the disc from some CD case she stole from Uncle Asgoreâs truck, proclaiming to Asriel, my stuffâll be better than whatever lame country shit your dad listens to. Heâd laughed, beaming at her. She was 16 thenâshe didnât know a damned thing about the bunker. Or about making music, really. The recording quality was straight ass. Sheâs pretty sure Noelle and Kris barged in at some point, demanding to be included. Asriel kept it on the track. Itâs cute, he told her, maybe one day theyâll join us!
Us? sheâd said, grinning at him. Youâre just a glorified fan. Whoâs the one doing all the singing and guitar work?
Asriel shoved at her. Youâd be nowhere if you didnât have someone to draw the cover! And mix all the songs!
Yeah, yeah. She shoved back. She sure as shit wasnât learning the stuff he did. Iâll put you in the honorary mentions.
She had no idea sheâd taken the CD with her, when she left. Doesnât remember the lead-up to the leavingâjust the desperation. Knowing, with every pulse of her soul, that something terrible was going to happen. That she had to fix it.
Kris is peering up at her, and she startles at their little hand on her arm.
âDo you still make music?â they ask.
âIâŚâ Dess grips the CD tight enough that the edges of it bite into her palm. How the hell is she supposed to answer that? Just another thing I left behind. She remembers smashing her guitar, after the shelter. Felt like the right thing to do, there in her dark and empty room, her breaths ragged. Nothing sounded right, afterwards. Like the damned thing taunted her, always out-of-tune, and all the old songs sheâd written sounded so nothing.
Still, though.
ââŚI donât,â is what Dess says, finally. One of her legs is starting to fall asleep. Krisâs fault, sheâs sure, though the kid is looking at her with such wide-eyed curiosity that she canât bear to push them off. âI, uh, lost my guitar. You know how the schemas are.â
Kris nods with all the sincerity of an eight-year-old who has repressed every memory they have of entering schemas. (OrâDess really, really hopes, at least.) And then they ask, âcan we listen?â
No, Dess almost says. She couldnât bear to hear Asrielâs voice againâNoelleâsâand sheâs sure most of the music just sucks anyways. But instead of throwing the CD at the wall and smashing it once she sends Kris back to bed, her grip on it just grows tighter. All she has left of those times. Before the shelter.
Hard to imagine.
ââŚthere might be one good song on there,â she says, and Kris cheers, pumping their fist into the air. God, this kidâlike the music she made at 16 is worth this whole two AM adventure. They make a beeline to the kitchen and come back carefully carrying the CD player Chara keeps around for some reason, the cord dragging on the ground.
âDonât trip,â she chides them, though Kris makes it without stumbling, setting the player on the coffee table and rushing over to plug it in. âAnd donât get your hopes up! Most of the songs are, uh, bad. You arenât hearing those.â
âBut you made them!â Kris charges back over to her as she turns the player on, opening up the CD case to take out her CD. There is isâscrawled in her own messy hand. Wow, her handwriting truly has not improved since she was 16, has it? âTheyâre all gonna be amazing!â
âLotta faith in me,â Dess says, as Kris just nods, shoving at her like thatâll make her go faster. âOkay! Jeez, harbinger.â She puts the CD in and glances at the handwritten tracklist. Right, so sheâs skipping most of these, butâŚthereâs one song she remembers. Put a lot of work into it. Sheâs pretty sure Kris has heard it before, actually. âHelpedâ with writing it, which mostly means they drew on the extra pages she printed off for them.
âŚweird to think that they donât remember it.
She moves to the right track, her hand hovering over the play button. Kris has leaned so far over the table sheâs half-convinced theyâre going to face-plant into it.
âThis one is called, uh, Raise Up Your Bat,â Dess says. âJustâyâknow. Some dumb thing I wrote.â
She turns the volume downâshe is not waking up anybody elseâand thenâŚnothing left to it. She hits play.
Itâs a weird experience, listening to her own voice sing. Did she really used to sound like that? And the guitar is all crunchyâAsriel did his best, but really neither of them had any idea how to work the technological side of recording musicâbut itsâŚhers. She remembers the chords, the melody, the lyrics. How long she lay in her bed, chucking her eraser up at her ceiling, trying to make it just right.
Kris is jumping around in-time to the music, and it brings a grin to her face, seeing them so happy. When they half-dance, half-leap near her, she reaches out a hand, to make sure their antlers donât slip off.
âDESS!â Kris yells, smashing into her chest, and Dess laughs, startled, as they drag her upright, bouncing on her hooves. âDess! This is so cool!!!!! You gotta teach me music too!â
âHeh, well.â She spins them. Kris shrieks, giggly. âYâknow, when you were littleâlike, smaller than you are now,â and she ruffles their hair, teasing. Kris mouths harmlessly at her hand, still giggling, as she picks up the pace to head-bang to her own song. Kris copies her, jumping up and down. âYou would pluck around on the piano a bit. I bet I could find you one.â
She had plans to help teach them. She doubts she can get them an actual pianoâquite frankly sheâs still not sure how her parents ever came into possession of oneâbut a keyboard or something, maybe. They loved it, back then, plinking away on the keys. Dess was self-taught and half-competent. Itâs the one instrument she played that she didnât end up breaking, though granted most of that was because it would be much more obvious than the stuff locked in her room.
âŚwhat happened to her old guitar, after she left? Thrown out, probably. Its warm wood splintered. Strings all snapped.
Would the music work for her, if she tried again?
Sheâs not sure how long she and Kris are there, in the living room. They drag her into dancing, and itâs fun, even if itâs just the one song they keep playing. Kris is inexpert, mostly just jumping around and dragging her, but theyâre delighted despite that, and she sorta loves the way they try to copy her, start singing along on relisten number ten when theyâve started to get a handle on the lyrics. Dess doesnât join themâcanât gather up the energyâbut their little voice, half-shriek, is more dear than her own, anyways.
They only stop when Krisâs exhaustion catches up to them, the kid swaying in place, which is when Dess presses pause and says, âokay, you should probably go to bed.â
âNnnnooâŚâ Kris whines, as she picks them up, wrapping their arms around her side and nuzzling into her fur. âDonât wannaâŚwanna stay with youâŚâ
âWell, I gotta sleep too, harbinger.â
âBut what if I wake up ân youâre gone away?â They grip her tighter, and something catches in Dessâs throat.
ââŚI wonât be,â she says. The words stick like thorns as she speaks, but she manages to spit them out. She sits back on the couch rather than bring Kris to their room. âWe can sleep out here. Iâll just stay on the couch with you. Wonât move at all. Promise.â
Kris mumbles, âsay that a lot.â But they grip her tighter, their eyes drifting shut. âLove you MomâŚâ
When Dess blinks, her eyes are wet. Which is stupid. Kris is asleep, at least. Their breathing levels out. Sheâs pretty sure theyâre drooling on her knee.
What the fuck is she doing, back here? Thereâs schemas to bust. Worlds to save. People to keep safe, and how can she do that if sheâs here, staring at Kris? Theyâre so tiny, against her. Such a little scrap of a monster. Their antlers have been knocked askew again. Their fingers grip into her fur. Like they couldnât bear to ever let her go.
âI was wondering where you were,â says Charaâs voice, and Dess startles, jerking up to see xir stood in the hallway, though xe enters the living room proper once she notices. âI was half-convinced youâd left already.â
Dess flushes. âPlease tell me you didnât hear the song.â
Chara shrugs. âNot much. The tail end, I assume?â Xe smiles at her, crossing the living room to join her on the couch, and Dess shifts, lifting up her arm not trapped by a sleeping Kris to let Chara cuddle up to her. âItâs sweet. Staying out here with them.â
Dess looks away. âDunno. Justâtheyâre so little.â She glances to Kris, smoothing down their hair. âI didnât know they were still this little.â
Chara hums. Agreement, probably. Dess could move Krisâshift them onto Charaâs lap, or between the two of themâbutâŚshe doesnât. Just keeps petting their hair. Itâs not really the same color as her furâdoesnât have enough red for thatâbut itâs dark like hers. She settles her hand there between their antlers. Their little chest rises and falls.
âWould you ever try music again?â Chara asks, and Dess glances to xir. âWhat I heard, I liked it. You never told me.â
Dess shrugs. âI mean, itâs not like I have time. MusicâsâŚI mean, compared to saving the world, itâs kindaâŚmoot.â She elbows xir, light. âPlus, I think you might be a bit biased. I was like, 16. I didnât know shit yet.â
Charaâs quiet, and so Dess follows xir example. Itâs an odd sort of silence, settled across her heart. The room is lit orange-silver by the lamp and the moon, half-full through the window. Kris snores a bit, little growly sounds, which tug at the corner of Dessâs mouth. Their head is pillowed in her lap, as they curl up like a puppy.
âThey really adore you, you know.â Chara breaks whatever stillness has fallen over them both, nodding down to Kris. âWhen you arenât hereâI swear, half their conversations lead back to when youâre coming home again.â
Dess shifts. Her legs have well and truly fallen asleep.
âMaybe Iâll try it,â she says, off to the vague distance of the far wall. âMight be nice.â
âWould be, I think.â says Chara.
Eventually, Chara falls back asleep, too. But Dess doesnât.
She watches her sleeping family until dawn breaks, spilling sunlight across them all.
dunno if you got this already, but since I love them so much: Dess and Kris. Knight and Squire. The distance between two. What's up with them, anything from canon to your drk au
I can say off hand I'm super fascinated with how you describe their relationship in the fics I've seen so far. The idea that Dess chose to leave (regardless of what happens after) is fascinating, especially given how in your post-canon works Kris and it manage to stay friends despite it all (or maybe because of it all?) they can't go back to how things were, but they don't let go of the people who were important to them, no matter how much they've changed. Something beautiful about that
DESS AND KRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!! under a cut bc i did indeed see how long this was. it is 2.8k words.
ive been writing about dess and kris since the START of my dr fics basically. okay actually based on post history it was like a month later (dr c2 drops sep 17 2021 -> my first fic tagged w/ dess & kris is posted oct 31 2021) BUT SAME DIFFERENCE. i think i actually wrote the first ever dess & kris fic posted to ao3 if you search by date posted and go to the first one THATS ME BABEYYYYYYYYYYYYY my legacy <3
so um yeah theyre my favorites too which is why ive written like so many different versions of their dynamic. this post absolutely will not cover them all bc how i wrote kris & dess in my c2 era fics while a big big part of how i'll go on to characterize them particularly in drk im not in that stage of my life anymore and we've learned more about dess since then. like i used to joke that dess was my favorite deltarune character despite being referenced like twice. i cannot make this joke anymore now that knightdess is around BUT LIKE. IVE BEEN HERE SINCE THE START NUMBER ONE DESS FAN. NOBODY CAN TAKE THIS TITLE FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!
anyways! here im just gonna focus on their drk dynamic and their dynamic in my current postcanon dr world ideas, which is how ive been writing them in.....most everything else ive posted recently lol, like no dogs allowed, presumably dead arm, that one dess pov fic i think it was im outside the door, at least two fics im currently writing. a lotta this stuff might apply to my earlier works but like that 'era' of my fic is over lol, we have more deltarune now and i said what i wanted to say at that time and now im saying new things.
SO FOR DRK!!! i think drk is the straightest line from my stuff back then to now, bc drk was born in that era!!!! drk is actually born from this one human dess au i wrote AND I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ON A HUMAN DESS. like is it canon no not even a little bit but in regards to her relationship w/ kris in that sort of au (bc dess would be bodily human but transspecies--shes a monster! like kris) is SO FUN but thats the core of a fic i havent posted yet so i'll wait til then to talk more about that. BUT ANYWAYS this is the dess & kris relationship of 'older sister + kid sibling' taken to its most extreme version aka oops!!!!!! youre a mom now. fuck.
kris has always always always idolized dess to a degree they havent with anybody else. dess is like, such a foundational part of their sense of self because she is the only person who is ever 100% in their corner. kris's species identity is the one thing they struggle with the most--well that and being loveless aro--and both of these are things that dess just GETS, yknow? kris says theyre a monster, cool, kid's a monster now, dess doesnt know why people are making a fuss about it. and then dess is ALSO aromantic (tho not loveless, plus shes allo while kris doesnt use the split attraction model) which!! look at that. something she and kris can bond over (tho this doesnt really come til theyre a teen)
but basically dess is just. Herself. as i write her i think shes never been the most likable person in general, but for the people she cares about she REALLY cares about them, and at the same time she always treats kris as a full-fledged person vs asriel who tends more towards babying them and being overprotective. kris really likes this!!! with dess they feel like a person and when she believes in the things they say--that they are a monster--its easy for kris to believe it too because if dess believes it, it has to be true!!!
and in drk this is all blown up even more because to me this dynamic is to an extent like...it boxes you in. once you are put into the role of 'mother' you sort of dont get to leave it, or, at least, its going to be a really big struggle to. and dess never asked for this. what leads to dess taking kris is a mix of a psychotic break, dark world trauma, and the only friend she really has not believing her and turning his back on her and she does the only thing she can think to do in that state. and of course she regrets it but once shes out of hometown she is OUT, because if she goes back it is going to kill her. like kris i think dess also tended towards suicidal thoughts, its just she hides it pretty well from the kids, and in drk the dark worlds sort of take that same place, as this thing that harms her but shes not really in a place to realize that yet.
anyways in drk dess is kris's mom, because no other person has filled that spot for them (they dont remember tori + asgore, they were little when they were taken and they were closer to dess anyways, and its easier to just kinda...smooth over the cracks and not bother with what was left behind.) also the age difference here is a lot more than it usually is, in my typical stuff kris is ~10 and dess ~18 when she leaves, in drk kris is like 6 and dess 18. but like. dess doesnt want to be that to them. but she cant NOT be this for them. but she cant be this for them because she never wanted to be a parent, and shes deeply deeply uncomfortable with this role, of having to be responsible for a whole entire life, of having this kid who looks up to her and holds onto her every word and sure they did that before but it was just DIFFERENT before, okay. and she cant go back to that and she does hate it.
BUT LIKE. at the same time. she does love kris. as a kid sibling. and like, to some degree kris can pick up on this. they dont usually call her mom to her face (its 'dess' unless they're sleepy, distressed, and if talking to other people without dess around they call her their mom) but That Is Her Role In Their Life.
IT IS JUST SO VERY MESSY. as drk goes on dess does have to confront and deal with this and figure out where to do next and realize how much she really has harmed kris. i dont think things are ever fully repaired for them here. i think it goes too deep and neither of them really know what they're supposed to do in the roles circumstance has slotted them into.
does kris resent dess for taking them? i think its more complicated than that. because the thing is for all her flaws? drk kris is a monster. drk kris is a monster, and GETS to be a monster, and never, not ever, has been made to feel like they are anything but. when shes around she DOES like hanging out with them, and taking them places, and half the reason she keeps going back into dark worlds is because she believes this is how she keeps kris safe from them. and she fails. kris absolutely gets wrapped up in this, but like, DESS realizes. dess apologizes to them. dess is very much aware that she has fucked up. she knows its best chara gets full custody of the kids. and yet. despite it all. despite EVERYTHING, she and kris still want...something. its just all they have are these broken pieces that cant really fit together.
AND NOW ONTO MY POSTCANON STUFF...
i think here is where im going to talk about dess choosing to leave bc it fits well with this thought ive been having recently, which is this idea that dess leaving was the best thing she could have done for her and kris's relationship. of course she doesnt know this at the time. but what it does is like, for all her time lost in the dark, she doesnt like...experience it, really, not in its full chronogical order. so when she does come back (1) she still visually appears to be the knight (maybe some minor changes but when i write postcanon dess stuff that is the image i am drawing from) and (2) she isnt like 24 or however old she is 'supposed' to be. its this messy blur of identities and she doesnt feel like a kid but she doesnt feel like an adult, either. shes nebulously 18. and this means kris, rather than being like 8 years younger than her and only ever a kid sibling, theyre...a lot closer to someone she might've been friends with.
because thats sort of what im getting at with a lot of my postcanon dr stuff. its that dess and kris, if given the chance, couldve been BEST friends. they really couldve made it! but it is only after so much has been taken. like, the way i kinda see things playing out and how i see the backstory of my specific dr postcanon world, is that basically, kris does betray the fun gang, sides with carol, in trying to get dess back. and they very nearly succeed! and it is going to kill them, and dess sees this, and realizes that if she lets this happen, kris will die. she will come back exactly as she would be, and kris will die. and she says FUCK THAT SHIT, and drags them out of the dark with her, and so kris lives, and dess stays the knight, and carol loses them both.
does this all kinda conflict a bit with the idea of dess leaving YES but like, as i kinda see it happening is like, shes found the bunker before this. shes aware of dark worlds and theyre haunting her, and she knows SOMETHING is going to hurt the kids (maybe she sees bits and pieces of the prophecy, thats usually the path i tend too bc it ties best w my themes anyways), and so she chooses to go back and face it and idk stuff happens then, but the important thing is the darkness does not take her: she steps into it, and then comes out the other side having made it herself. also dess is nonbinary now. she/it dess for the win.
SO AFTER ALL OF THAT. dess and kris are left in a world that is changing and neither of them know what they're supposed to do. dess loses her friendship with asriel, which was already sort of on the rocks when she left (asriel is the last person she goes too, he refuses to believe in anything shes saying) and is made even worse because he doesnt understand why she wont just turn back into who she REALLY is, doesnt believe dess when it says that it is dess, and it is the knight, AND IT LIKES BEING THIS. kris is left alive in a world they never planned to have to see, feeling very disconnected from the friends they betrayed (even tho their friends will forgive them, probably already have after all the near-death experiences), and, of course, stuck with the same soul, the same body, the same human parts. i probably havent ever explicitly said this but ive implied it in a lot of fics: kris has and always will have the worst species dysphoria in the world. having to live life in a human body, for kris, is something that means they will always sort of want to die, because there is no meaningful way for them to transition (in this i think they are deeply jealous of noelle + ralsei, bc they get to transition while kris never will). and it isnt even a gender thing for them, bc i think probably at one point kris did try estrogen. and like. the problem is that kris's ideal body is 'coyote.' and they do not make coyote hrt. and they can take as much estrogen as they want and it wont fucking fix a thing, so why bother? theyre going to hate their body either way, because what they hate is everything they cannot ever change.
(and as a sidenote i personally really dislike 'magical transition' stories. usually this is done in regards to gender, but i do it here for species, even if maybe i could see someone arguing that like, dr is a different world, maybe they have that technology there. but they dont HERE. a lot of who i write kris for is, well, i mean, younger versions of myself, but also for people in THIS WORLD, who are going through the same thing. i think stories for people who are transpecies, otherkin, therian, identify as other-than or non-human in any way, are severely lacking and so few people write them. and while i have written stories that do not end happily (hi presumably dead arm) im like. so many people already dont see these identities as real, or this dysphoria as 'valid.' and ive always found that for me, it is this sort of raw depiction of grief that gets to me. that says it DOES suck. it will suck. maybe you wont ever fix a single fucking thing, and youre going to want to die for the rest of your life.
but also i want all of us to live, so, so badly. and so i write.)
and so kris and dess gravitate towards each other because what else is left? like i said before theyre a lot closer in age now, and neither of them really feel like this world was made for them. dess doesnt want to get a job, doesnt want to go to college, all this stuff its mother is pushing onto it, the same mother who wanted back a daughter who never existed then and CERTAINLY doesnt exist now. kris never thought they'd live much past 15 or so. doesnt really have the ability to leave hometown in any real way (being perceived as human is like dying to them, and at least in hometown everyone knows their particular brand of 'strangeness.' its not good but its better than the alternative.) and even if dess doesnt have the same species dysphoria as kris she is ALSO now living in a body that doesnt entirely feel like its own, yet, and i think one thing is that, like, dess can't speak anymore. she can make some noises and eventually she does have a sort of language of her own made up of various shadowvoid noises, but that takes a lot of time. so kris teaches her sign language. and dess, who has before been able to take up all the space she wants, now has to write down everything it wants to say, or drag peoples' attention to her, and like. its hard. it is so, SO hard.
but i think in this way also dess and kris by having each other save each other. dess has always been a bit better about not dying than kris, and so they do basically form a suicide pact of like, if we go, we're doing it together. which helps a lot bc dess is full of spite and wants to live because asriel and her mom think it isnt living right. and its like okay fuck you then. im going to learn how to communicate again and im going to learn how to play guitar again and im going to LIVE, and its not going to be because of mom, because mom didnt fucking save me. kris and i saved each other.
after it all kris and dess have something queerplatonic as hell going on, not that either of them would describe it as such. dess cant really stay in one place too long, but her magic is like, shadow and void and built out of what made dark worlds, so she can get to kris no matter where she is. they start a band together. it takes them years to write their first album, and they have to relearn a lot of things. dess wont ever really get to sing (she bricks like every single electronic that is near her for too long so any sort of electronic communication device is out for her.) kris isnt ever going to have a body they're happy in. but...what dess and kris have, at this point, cant really be put in a box. its not romantic or platonic or familial. it isnt love, because kris doesnt experience love. but it is THEIRS. they've finally managed to break out of every single box the world would have dared to put them in.
and it is because of that this is the best path their relationship could take. theyve made it. they survived it all.
Dess, Asriel, and their siblings' imaginary friends.
or: do you want more pre-canon drk snippets i know you want more pre-canon drk snippets. this was written based on an idea my friend/coauthor stars pitched that noelle actually was aware of settia for the first year after kris and dess left before Something happened to make her repress it. and then once we started talking on that i wondered if kris remembered noelle in any small way...
story under the cut!
âDess!â
It takes all of one and a half seconds for Kris to attach themself to Dessâs leg when she enters her apartment, carrying all four of Charaâs reusable grocery bags on her arms because she is not about to walk up the stairs with the groceries more than once, and yes she had to walk up the stairs, because of course the elevator decided to break the day she came back.
âAw, hey, harbinger,â Dess says, elbowing Kris with her slightly more free arm. Itâs the arm with only one grocery bag as opposed to three. Her bracing arm. âLemmeâI donât want to drop a carton of milk on your headââ
Kris giggles but lets go, holding out their hands. âI can help!â
âDo not trust them,â comes Charaâs voice from the kitchen, as Dess sidesteps Kris, who whines and charges after her, nearly snagging an antler on her jacket. Thankfully, sheâs known this kid since they were practically a baby: she is very good at navigating around an excited Kris. âTheyâve taken to throwing food at the walls.â
âItâs fun!â Kris complains. Dess enters the kitchen fully and dumps her bounty of bags onto the counter, her arms immediately relieved from all the weight she put onto them. Though sheâs a lot better with it now. If thereâs once things the schemas force her to do, itâs workout. âI exploded the orange juice.â
âAnd now we donât get orange juice with breakfast,â Chara says, approaching the pair of them. To Dess, xe says, âdid you getââ
âFriskâs very specific brand of chips?â Dess gestures to one of the bags. âYeah. Nearly got in a fight with this middle-aged lady over them and everything. The things I do for you, kid!â Her final sentence she yells, hopefully loud enough that Frisk can hear it, wherever they are in the house. Sheâs answered by a very loud, very crunchy explosion VFX, which is Frisk for utterly delighted. Theyâll probably have to find a better hiding spot. Maybe she can open a secret schema in the upper cupboards. âI also managed to get your terrible chocolates.â
âAh, did you? How sweet.â Chara ignores her playful distaste entirely, and Dess rolls her eyes with a snort, crossing over to drag xir into a hug. Itâs always this that brings her backâCharaâs warmth against her, that sappy look xe gets in xir eyes that xe swears Dess is just making up, but nah. Sheâs seen it. She knows.
âDess!â Kris wriggles their way between Dess and Chara, jabbing her in the stomach with one of their antlers as they twist up to look at her. âStop being boring!!! I gotta show you the stuff we made.â
âWatch out for Legos,â Chara says, as xes step away from Dess. She whines at xir loss and Chara just smiles at her. âThough I guess having hooves sort of defeats them, doesnât it?â
âHuman feet are very dumb,â Kris says with an air of solemnity. âDess câmon! FRISK IâM GONNA SHOW DESS THE CITY!â
No response from Frisk. Kris says, âtheyâre probably cool with it.â
Dess asks, âcity?â
âWatch where you step,â is Charaâs final piece of advice, which, very helpful of her dearest and beloved spouse. Xe just smiles at her and returns to putting the groceries away as sheâs dragged off towards the hallway by Kris.
âYeah city!â Kris says, stopping in the living room. âWeâve been building it for like ever! Before Ba said it had to stay in our room but weâre very convincing.â
More likely, Chara decided it was no longer worth arguing over. But Dess says, âalright then. Letâs see it.â
âYouâre gonna love it!!!â Kris grabs her hand again and hauls her off towards the hallway, whereâŚ
âOh, wow,â Dess says, blinking, as Kris drags her down the hallway and into their room, just barely managing to avoid stepping on the absolute mess of wooden train tracks spiraling down the hallway. The kidsâ room is even grander: practically every inch of carpet is covered by some sort of toy. Massive Lego buildings take up the chunk of space in front of the dresser. Littlest Pet Shop houses are pushed up against the beds. A pile of various school supplies she hasnât seen since school ended seem to form some sort of fort against the closet door, entirely blocking it from being opened. What must be every single toy the kids ownâall their various figurines, monster dolls, and stuffed animalsâhave been spread out across the room, in buildings, on the train tracks, which snake throughout the room. Some sort of throne that appears to be constructed out of balled-up bits of yellow construction paper sits in the very center of the kidsâ room, with Friskâs favorite stuffed animalâa brindled hamster Chara got themâsat atop it.
Frisk rolls over onto their back, watching her upside-down on their bed, and blinks.
âHey, Frisk,â she greets. âYou guys made all of this?â
âFrisk did the train stuff!â Kris skips over the various houses and plops down right in front of the throne. âI built the Lego houses but Ba helped with, um, that one.â They point to the only Lego house that looks like it even followed the instructions a little bit. Truly a chaotic mess of bricks and colors, the rest are. âAnd then we did the bone pile together.â
Dess blinks. âIâm sorry, bone pile?â
Kris points to the throne. âMarigold killed all the people who tried to fight her to become the mayor and now she sits on their bones âcause it shows sheâs in power.â
ââŚyeah, fair enough.â Who is she to police the weird games kids play? Itâs honestly impressive.
âI think she should open up schemas and fight them like you do but Frisk says thatâs stupid,â Kris pouts, turning to glare at their sibling. Frisk sticks out their tongue and throws a pillow at their face, which leads to Kris throwing the stuffed hamster, and Dess very wisely steps to the side so sheâs not also getting pelted by various soft things.
âŚitâs always so unnerving when they talk about the schemas. With all the ease of someone whoâs never been into one before. Who doesnât feel the darkness of them, sunk into their skin. Moving to sit on Krisâs bed while the kids shriek and play Dess rubs at her own arm, and where her fur sticks up she can see it, almost: the darkness that has made a home there, remnants of her form down in the dark.
Sometimes she wonders if itâll take her over, one day. Burst out when sheâs come home.
She shakes her fur flat and tugs down her jacketâs sleeve. Yeah right. She beats darkness back. Wonât ever let the schemas worm their ways into this place, this last place she has that is her own. The guild is good and all, butâitâs not home. Not like this tiny apartment. Not like Chara.
Across the room, Kris shrieks laughter and says, âlet Marigold go into the schemas!â
Frisk is shaking their head, signing, âno, no, no,â through their attempts to hit Kris with their pillow. She can see their tablet lying on their bed, clearly forgottenâitâs been more decorated since the last time she saw it, new charms and stickers stuck across it. The source of their new love of sound-effects. Since neither kid seems to care about the expensive communication device Dess sighs, stands, sidesteps both of them to grab it and at least move it to the dresser, so itâs not knocked onto the floor by accident.
As she sets it downâonly nearly getting kicked in the face twice, which, honestly, pretty goodâshe hears Kris saying, âNoelle would let me do it!â
Dess freezes. Or possibly the world freezes.
âDess, Iâve put the groceries away, if you want to help me startââ Chara stops in the doorway. Dess barely hears xir. Justâthe pounding of her heart. The beating of her soul. Or maybe everythingâs at a stand-still. Hard to tell. Mostly she just hears Krisâs voice, echoing. Noelle.
Chara says, âwhat are you fighting about now?â
âFrisk wonât let Marigold go into the schemas!!â Kris says, as Frisk just takes their pillow and whaps Kris upside the head with it. âWhich is stupid! Noelle would agree with me! Ba tell them!!â
âMarigold is Friskâs, Kris, they get final say over what she does and doesnât do in your games. Why donât you have one of your toys go into the schemas instead?â
âNone of mine are the mayor,â Kris pouts. ââŚbut they could go into the schemas to get power to fight Marigold!!! FRISK IâM GONNA HAVE KNIFE FIGHT MARIGOLD JUST YOU WAIT!!!!â
Kris runs to their bed, digs one of their own stuffed animals out from under the coversâa ruddy-coated coyote Dess picked up for them that one time a schema spat her out in the middle of a zooâand then darts right out the door. Frisk barely wastes a second before grabbing Marigold and rushing after them, leaving Dess and Chara in the kidsâ room, surrounded by toys and pillows and something cold settling into Dessâs fur.
ââŚNoelleâŚâ
She jumps at Charaâs hand on her arm. âDid they mention Noelle again?â Xe frowns. âI think it is a friend of theirs,â and suddenly Charaâs voice is so far-away, and Dess is back there, back at the doors of the shelter, staring down the heavy darkness in them, and her mind is screaming, demanding, and she has to do this, is the only one who can do it, can save them all, and there is a very, very tiny hand in her own. âThough I have no idea where they met. Iâve never met this Noelle and Kris only started mentioning the name after school let outâŚmaybe someone they found at the park?â
Sinking. Thatâs the word. Thatâs this feeling, this chill in her fur, the frozen edge of her thoughts. A name she canât think. A sister sheâŚ
âFine,â she says, and jerks away from xir touch. Itâs a loss of warmth but this is one barrier she canât cross. She canât get Chara tangled up in her own mission. Itâs hers, hers to have and hold so xe never has to, so the darkness canât ever dare to try and take xir again. âIâm fine, Chara. Itâs fine.â
Kris doesnât remember. They canât remember, not here, not now. Four years and theyâve never even so much as breathed her name. Why would it come to them now? Itâs just faded childhood memories. It canât be anything more than that, because if they remember, if they start askingâ
Dessâs hands seize up in her pockets, grasping for might and magic that isnât there.
Just a coincidence. Just a friend with the same name.
âI have to go,â Dess says, and suddenly itâs all too-tight: the apartment, Chara, the kids laughing. The walls press too-close. Like a schema. Like living darkness, and she can see it, in the shadowy corners, reaching out, spilling out. âIââ
âDess,â says Chara. Nothing else. Xir voice cracks. Xir hand is still hovering in the air from where she left it. She misses the warmth. She couldnât ever dare to touch something that hot again. âYou promised me two weeks.â
âNext month,â Dess says, but xeâs just so distant. So, so far away. So detached from the shadows Dess has found around her. âIâll come back next month.â
When she leaves, Chara doesnât follow her.
Sheâs not sure why some part of her expected xir too.
Itâs not like sheâs ever let xir before.
------
Itâs around eight in the morning that Asriel hears a knock on the door, sat at his desk chair and staring blankly at the black screen of his desktop he hasnât even turned on, which means really heâs been watching his reflection in the dust since he sat down twenty minutes ago, when Mom rushed in and told him that it was happening today.
Heâs sort of known it was coming. After all the arguing. After Mom kicking Dad out. After Dad started crashing at the Holidays. After, after, after. It happened before, of course, but it only got worse after KrisâŚ
AfterâŚ
Asriel sniffs, and pushes himself up standing. They still havenât cleaned Krisâs half of the room, so he pretends like itâs not there, which is. Easy. So long as he doesnât look that way.
It doesnât take him very long to get downstairs, and to the front door. He unlocks and opens it to see his aunt and Noelle standing there, Noelle not really looking at him, already twisting out of Carolâs grip and wandering into the house.
âOhâhi, Noelle,â Asriel tries, but sheâs already past him. âAnd, uh, hi, Aunt Carol. WhatâsâŚgoing on?â
Not that Noelle coming over isnâtânew. Sheâs probably spent half her life in this house, after all. But that was when Dess was around, dragging her sister along whenever she came to visit. That was back when Kris was still here, whenâ
âAsriel,â Carol greets. âI need you to babysit Noelle.â
Itâs the first heâs seen of either of them in about six months.
Coincidentally, itâs also been about six months sinceâŚ
âOh, um, yeah!â Asriel nods, a little too hard. âYeah. Yeah I can do that. UmâŚwhy? Isâis everything okay? With being mayor, andââ
Carol holds out a hand and Asriel shuts up. âEverything is fine,â Carol says. âI just canât work from home any longer.â
âOh.â AsrielâŚwasnât aware sheâd been working from home. If heâs being honest, heâs not even tried to approach the Holiday house. With its cold walls and looming shadows. How could it be anything even approaching a home, without Dess to fill it?
He wrings his hands together. âHowâs, um,â Asriel glances back into the house, where Noelleâs made her way into the kitchen and doesnât seem to be paying them any attention, instead opening up the cupboard with all the art supplies. Still, Asriel lowers his voice and asks, âhowâs Uncle Rudy? â
âHe is in a coma, Asriel,â Carol says, and her voice is the sort of sharp itâs been ever since Dess disappeared. Not that she wasnât cold beforeâAsriel was best friends with Dess, of course he got to see his auntâs anger a lotâbut now itâs like whatever warmth was left has been entirely sapped away.
âRight.â Asriel looks down. âUm, Momâsâshe and Dad are, uh, in the city. For all the.â He wrings his hands together. Dad hasnât slept in this house for five months. ââŚyeah.â
âI trust you to watch Noelle,â Carol says. âAndâkeep an eye on her? Iâve been.â She pauses, seems to mull over her words for a bit, and finally says, âworried.â
âWorried about what?â
âJust.â When Carolâs gaze lingers on her daughter Asriel follows it. Noelle seemsâŚfine. Sheâs scribbling on some paper on the kitchen table. But then again, Noelleâs just seemedâŚfineâŚsince DessâŚ
Since DessâŚ
Asriel says, âokay. I get it. Um, can I call you if I need to?â
âYou can. My personal number, not the mayorâs office. The secretary wonât let you through without me breathing down her neck.â Carol takes a step back. âTake care of yourself.â
âUm, yeah! You too!â He watches until Carolâs turned the corner and he can no longer see her, before he closes the door and sighs, burying his head in his hands.
No improvement for Uncle Rudy. His parents are in the city filing for a divorce. His little sibling is dead, his best friend is dead, and Noelle is drawing pictures at the kitchen table like nothing at all has gone wrong.
He sinks down into the couch. Itâs moments like these that he replays that final conversation he ever had with Dessâthat conversation he hasnât told anybody. What would it change? Sheâs dead and gone either way, lost down into the shadows of her own mind. Thereâs something underneath this town, Yeah, right, Dess. SomethingâAsriel huffs. Inventing some new game again. Maybe he shouldâve told someone. About her flights of fancy. About those days where sheâd vanish off the radar and heâd have to cover for her, claim she was at this-or-that club after school, theyâd gone to the library to do homework, sheâd just lost track of time and had been at the lake all night. He knows she nearly got arrested onceâshe was able to get his dad to let it slipâthough he never figured out what for. It was justâŚDess. Thatâs just how she was. He got used to it. Grabbed her arm to keep her from running off again.
He never thought sheâd take Kris, though.
Asriel sucks in a shaky breath.
He really, really hopes it didnât hurt.
âAzzy?â A little hand tugs at his sleeve, and Asriel jumps, wiping at his eyes, to see Noelle, watching him with a tilted head and her doe-eyes wide. âYou werenât answering me.â
âSâsorry, Noelle. IâmâŚyeah. Sorry. Whatâs up?â He gives his eyes one final scrub to make sure thereâs no tears left, and all the while Noelleâs eyes donât leave his face. Whichâa little creepy. Kris was always the one to stare for too long. Sometimes long enough he thought theyâd fallen asleep, only for them toâ
ToâŚ
This time, Noelle clambers up into his lap. Her fur is scratchy-stiff against his own, the same sort of toughness Dessâs fur had, some different texture from his own, always much softer around the edges. Sheâs still all in soft browns, lacking any of her adult coloring. Sheâs so young. Barely any older than Kris.
âAzzy,â she says, again. Thereâs a softness to her voice that is so unlike Dess it jerks him back to the present, and he breathes, breathes again. Sheâs planted her hands on his chest. âWhy are you sad?â
âIâmâIâm not sad, Noelle.â He shifts only to sit her down, and thankfully she goes with it, peering up at him with those big curious eyes. âJustâŚitâs been a lot.â
âYou are too sad.â She crosses her arms. âKris says.â
Asrielâs heart goes cold.
âKââ The name catches in his throat. âNoelle, Kris isââ
âYou shouldnât be so sad,â she continues, playing with the fur on his palm. âYou should draw with me and Kris. We trade off âcause that way they get a turn too. Like over here!â She scrambles off the couch and Asriel canât even move. The name keeps pounding in his head. Theyâre dead. Theyâre dead. His sibling is dead, and dead kids canât draw with their friends.
âSee!â Noelleâs grabbed her page of doodles off the kitchen table and trots back over to him. âI drew Mommy and Kris drew the tree in the kitchen and the piano and I drew them on the piano âcause they like it even if weâre really bad at playing, andââ
âKrisâŚâ Asrielâs voice is faint. âWhat do you mean they drew with you? Theyâthey arenât here.â
Noelle scrunches up her nose. âWell thatâs really mean âcause theyâre right in front of you!â
Oh, how he wishes. How he wants, so deeply, for Noelleâs childish words to be the truth. For Kris to come charging down the stairs shrieking about whatever new terrible prank they have planned. For them to keep him up for three hours telling him all about the scary game they and Noelle played at their most recent sleepover. For Kris to exist, somewhere, beyond the fading memories of his own head.
Noelle sticks her tongue out and storms back over to the kitchen table. If Asriel focuses, he can hear her talking to herself. Talking to Kris.
That night when Carol comes to pick up Noelle Asriel pulls his aunt aside before Noelleâs even noticed sheâs arrived, and he says, forcing the sentence out before he can choke on it, âshe was talking about Kris like they were still around.â
Carol is quiet for a long, long while. She watches her daughter, Noelle playing by herself on the living room floor, her back to them. She is talking to herself, still. Giggles and emotes like someone is right there with her, some ghost of her best friend.
âShe knows theyâre dead,â Asriel says, stumbling, and Carol catches him with a hand to his back and doesnât push him away when he stumbles against her arm. âRight?â
Carol just sighs.
âI donâtâI donât want her to be sick, or, or crazy, I just. I want her to be normal. I want her to be okay.â
âI know,â Carol says. Her voice is like a frozen-over lake. Is this what sheâs been seeing, all by herself? Stuck in a house so empty with one daughter dead and the other talking to people who arenât alive anymore? âThatâs what I want, too.â
Asriel whispers, âcan you fix her?â
There is something about Aunt Carol steadying him. Some permission given, for him to slump against her side. Sheâs not warm like Mom or Dad are, butâshe doesnât fall. She keeps him standing.
âI will.â Carol takes his hand and looks him in the eye, and itâs like heâs young again, grinning up at his aunt and telling her that he and Dess did a great job babysitting, that he made sure Kris and Noelle ate a healthy dinner and didnât bite each other and went to bed on time, beaming even wider at her acknowledgementâa hand on his head, a thank you, I knew youâd do well.
Carol says, âI already lost one daughter. We arenât going to lose the other.â
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the fact that asgore doesnt really do anything and is basically a noncharacter in drk is because its actually really biting commentary on the way noelle has dissociated herself from her past to such an extent that she cannot recognize him as a family member because then that means there was a life she lived before this and if she accepts that as true she has to mourn her dead sister and kris again. its not because i forgot about him.
the [pic] is bc these bits are formatted like comments you can leave on word (bc im writing this in word so thats easiest for me to reference lol) and so everyone DOES get stupid profile pics they pick themselves <3
anyways kris and noelle <3 theyre the only ones who actually have last names here (ralsei doesnt have one. susie would but doesnt connect to it + i dont wanna canonize one for her but idk maybe i will in editing for consistency. tho these names are inputted BY each character and like i said. i dont think susie writes a last name for herself unless its a situation where she is Required By Law too. but i digress) but i am SO charmed by them. noelle having a hyphenated last name is something that can be so personal to me actually, the person who knows how this becomes relevant to her and setti's character arcs later.
to drk post again bc contrary to how it might look things are going well. fun updates include susie getting FOUR pov chapters instead of the two i thought she'd get bc they kept getting comically longer until i had to split them. and right now im translating the 'playing a video game' sections of c3 into drk because those were some of my favorite parts of c3 and yes. i did spend far too much time formatting it. the best part is i get to do this allllll over again when i post drk <3