#drizzit work

Me: Has spent all morning responding to e-mails from colleagues congratulating me on my recently announced "promotion"*.

Also Me: Has spent the afternoon applying for essentially the same job I just got "promoted" into, but in Los Angeles and inexplicably a job grade higher than the one I just moved into.

Yup... I am 100% THAT BITCH. Ask me if I care.

Today, I was correcting someone's assertion that they could never give up cheese despite A DOCTOR LITERALLY TELLING THEM IT WAS THE CAUSE OF ALL THEIR PROBLEMS because "You don't understand. I am from Wisconsin." (To which I, of course, said... "I, too, am from a cheese culture and I stopped eating it because it was hurting me, so I believe you could if you wanted to, you just don't want to.")

A bro who had been standing in the lunchroom and wasn't involved in the discussion said "Oh, wow. This tea is really hot today!" OUT OF NOWHERE and I honestly burst out laughing until I realised he meant that THE ACTUAL TEA HE HAD JUST MADE WAS ACTUALLY HOT.

You've ruined me, internet.

But also it was hilarious.

I applied for a position MONTHS ago and heard nothing until this week. Said position is still open and accepting applications, but Wednesday I got an email asking if I had 20 minutes for a "check-in with ___" which I assume is a phone interview, but also the strangest way I've been asked to interview ever.

I mean, I will treat it like an interview, but what?

Right now I am crying about it.

Next step is me throwing hands at some colleagues.

So all morning people have been walking by (my desk is in the middle of two high-traffic hallways so people are constantly in my business) and basically trying to shame me into coming to an event I told them I wasn't going to because I cannot participate and no one cared to make sure I could participate.

Former boss comes in (his desk is right next to mine) and walks past and says "no Kahlua for you?" (Yeah, sanctioned office drinking. It's a not infrequent thing.) And I'm like "absolutely not" in the bluntest tone possible and where all these fragile flower Minnesotans would gasp and look offended or laugh like I was kidding he just says "fair enough," continues on his way, sits down, and gets to work.