I understand if you don’t want to answer, but how much of your writing process does your wife know about? I know she knows you write, but does she ever read your work? Do you flush through character development with her, or not really? Does she ever find you writing in your notebooks and ask to read it?
Happy to answer this! My wife is currently reading Hot Lap but she's not a big reader so it's a little slow going for her.
I don't typically brainstorm with her, but sometimes I might say "I'm trying to figure out x/y/z and it's annoying, or sometimes I'll tell her when I have a breakthrough, etc.
I'm always writing around her, either in notebooks or, a lot of evenings, I'm on my laptop writing while she and my cousins are playing Fortnite and we're just hanging side by side. But no, she'd never ask to read something in my notebook, not because it would be private but just because that's not really her interest.
