#drew van acker

~ flashback begins ~ 

“I see the way you look at him, [y/n/n],” Hanna said softly, causing her friend’s eyes to widen. 

“W- what- who are you talking about, Han?” [Y/N] asked nervously. 

“Jason, of course,” Hanna replied and there was no judgement in her eyes nor her tone. 

[Y/N] opened her mouth and closed it, unable to come up with a reply. 

“It’s okay, [y/n/n],” Hanna said, standing next to her friend and wrapping a comforting hand around her shoulder. 

“Am I that obvious?” [Y/N] asked with a defeated smile. 

“For me, yes,” Hanna answered. “Have the others asked you anything about this?” 

“No,” [Y/N] shook her head. 

“And… How about Ali?” Hanna asked hesitantly. “Do you think she knows?” 

“God, no. I don’t think so,” [Y/N] sighed. “She would kill me.” 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Hanna said kindly. “You can’t help who you have feelings for.” 

“It’s just a crush, Hanna banana,” [Y/N] chuckled softly. “I’m sure I’ll get over it, get over him, soon.” 

“[y/n/n], crush was last year when all you had was heart eyes for him,” teased Hanna, causing her friend to roll her eyes fondly. “Well, you still have heart eyes whenever he’s around. But, now, you look genuinely worried about him.” 

“I- I don’t know,” [Y/N] shrugged. “I just… I feel bad for him. His addiction’s gotten worse since we met him, I feel. His family doesn’t seem to care about him and he doesn’t have the greatest set of friends either. I feel like he can do better with the right guidance. That’s all.”

“Do you think you can talk to him into getting help?” Hanna asked. 

“Oh god no,” [Y/N] denied right away. “I don’t have the guts to go in front of him.” 

“What, why not?” Hanna asked. 

“There are so many things that can go wrong, Han,” [Y/N] replied. “One, Ali could find out and make the rest of my life miserable for even thinking of her brother. Two, Jason would probably laugh in my face if I went to have a heart to heart with him.” 

Hanna smiled sadly and [Y/N] was quick to reassure her friend. 

“Don’t worry about me too much, okay?” she smiled. “Like I said, it’s just a crush I’ll get over soon.” 

“I’m right here if you need someone to talk to,” Hanna said back. 

“Thanks, Han,” [Y/N] hugged the blonde. “I love you.”

“Love you more,” Hanna replied and tickled [Y/N] causing the latter to giggle as the two pulled back from the hug. 

“Let’s go before Spencer marches in here looking for us,” [Y/N] said and Hanna agreed. 

“Can you believe this?” CeCe Drake asked, exasperated. 

In response, Alison DiLaurentis sat, speechless. 

It was by coincidence that CeCe had stumbled upon [Y/N] and Hanna at a frat party Alison had snuck them into. Initially, she was going to ignore them. But, after hearing her boyfriend’s name in their conversation, she couldn’t walk away. Once she found out that one of Ali’s best friends was crushing on the latter’s big brother, CeCe recorded the conversation to show Ali. 

“I don’t understand,” Ali replied, stunned while holding CeCe’s phone in her hands. 

“What’s so hard to understand?” CeCe scoffed, taking her phone back from Alison. “One of your so-called best friends is clearing using you to get to your brother!” 

“No,” Alison shook her head, slowly coming out of her shock. “No, [y/n/n] wouldn’t do that to me.” 

“Ali, did you not hear a word of that recording?” CeCe asked in disbelief. 

“I did, okay?” Ali said back defensively. 

“Then, what’s the matter?” CeCe fired back. “You gotta cut this girl out!” 

“I can’t!” Ali exclaimed. “I won’t.”

“Why not?” CeCe demanded. 

“She’s one of my best friends, alright?” Ali said back. “She’s always been there for me.” 

“Well, that’s because she’s had a motive all this time,” CeCe pressed. “To me, it looks like she’s being your friend so that she could be with your brother. How are you not seeing this, Ali?” 

“Look, if you’re worried about Jason breaking up with you for [y/n/n], you don’t have to. I doubt Jason knows that she exists,” Ali rolled her eyes. Though, on the inside, she was still processing the fact that [Y/N] liked Jason. 

“I’m not worried about my relationship with Jason,” CeCe replied, her voice softening. “I feel terrible you’re being used. You don’t deserve that.” 

Alison stared at her brother’s girlfriend, who was no less than a sister to her. Several moments later, she got up from her bed and walked to her desk. She looked at the picture frame that sat there and picked it up. It was a photo of her and the girls that was taken at Spencer’s lake house. 

“What’s so special about her?” CeCe asked, now standing behind Alison. She looked at the photo as well. “What’s stopping you from cutting her out of your life?” 

Alison put the frame back on the desk and turned to face CeCe. 

“Look, I know I’m not the easiest person to be around,” she said, looking uncharacteristically insecure, which shocked CeCe. “And, being around [y/n/n] makes me feel like there’s still… good in me.” 

“What are you talking about? You’re a good person,” CeCe argued. 

“No, you don’t understand,” said Ali. “She stands up to me, yeah, but she doesn’t make me feel… less.”

“Now, it sounds like you’re in love with the girl,” CeCe sassed. 

“Stop,” Ali snapped at CeCe. 

“Ali, what’s the matter?” CeCe asked, her voice softening. “She’s just one person. You’ll still have your other friends.” 

Alison looked away without replying. Deep down, she had a feeling that if it came down to choosing between [Y/N] and herself, the other girls would definitely choose the former. 

She didn’t think [Y/N] was leader-material like she was. But, [Y/N] was smart, kind, and compassionate. She never put the other girls down like Ali did. In fact, she along with Spencer criticized Ali every time she bullied one of their friends or their other classmates. [Y/N] and Spencer stood up for Mona and Lucas several times behind their backs, but they were unsuccessful in getting Ali to completely stop bullying. 

Alison was aware that if she kicked [Y/N] out of her little group, Hanna would leave without a doubt. [Y/N] and Hanna were best friends before Alison entered their lives. If [Y/N] and Hanna left, Alison didn’t know for how long Aria, Emily and Spencer would stay by her side. Why would they stay with her when she occasionally made their lives miserable as well? 

Alison knew losing one friend meant losing all of them at one point and she didn’t want that. 

“What are you thinking?” CeCe asked gently, touching Ali’s forearm. 

“Nothing,” she replied, clearing her throat. “Look, I’ll deal with this. Just let it be.” 

CeCe looked unconvinced when Ali spoke again, “And, delete that recording.”

“What?” CeCe gaped. 

“I said delete it,” Alison demanded, leaving no room for argument. 

“Fine,” CeCe snapped and walked to grab her cellphone from Ali’s bed. She walked back over to the younger blonde and deleted the recording in front of her eyes. “Happy?”

“You don’t have any more copies saved, do you?” Ali asked with narrowed eyes. 

“Wow, Ali,” CeCe chuckled sarcastically. “No, I don’t.” 

“Good, this never happened,” Ali stated, putting an end to the conversation. 

Unbeknownst to both girls, Jason DiLaurentis stood outside Ali’s bedroom, perplexed by the conversation he just overheard. 

Hearing CeCe say an unhappy goodbye to Alison brought him out of his reverie and he quietly rushed to his bedroom, locking the door behind him. He sat at the edge of his bed and his mind replayed the chat he accidentally stumbled onto. 

A short while ago, he had returned home from hanging out with his friends. He was sober for once and he was actually glad that he hadn’t given into Ian’s persuasion as he usually did. 

Things between him and Ian had been tense. Jason mentally beat himself up almost every day for introducing the idea of filming girls. He had been high and he had no idea what he was doing or saying. But, Ian and Garrett had gone along with the idea, forming a group between themselves called, N.A.T – Nos Animadverto Totus, meaning ‘we see all.’ 

At first, it was unserious and fun. However, the moment Ian brought up the idea of filming Alison’s best friends was when Jason lost it. He didn’t care for Ali’s friends, but they were kids; they were the same age as his little sister. He saw red at the thought of someone filming Alison without her knowledge. He also realized what a hypocrite he had been when he was okay with filming other girls in town. Garrett acted as the peacemaker between him and Ian, and was successful in getting the latter to drop filming altogether. 

Although Ian was his normal self around Jason, the latter had a hard time being the same around his friend. 

And, so, he had decided to come early from yet another party he had been invited to. He was passing by Ali’s bedroom when a familiar voice stopped him. 

‘It’s just a crush, Hanna banana. I’m sure I’ll get over it, get over him, soon.’ 

Alison had her powerpuff girls over at their house literally all the time. It didn’t take him long to recognize the voice as [Y/N]’s. Except, her voice sounded like it was from a recording. He thought that was strange and ended up eavesdropping on a conversation he was never meant to hear. 

By the end of it, he was stunned to say the least. 

One, his girlfriend, CeCe had recorded a conversation between two of Ali’s best friends without their knowledge for sure.

Two, [Y/N], one of his little sister’s best friends, was crushing on him. More importantly, she was worried about him. 

He didn’t think any of Ali’s friends actually paid attention to him. He was sure they must be disgusted because whenever they were around, he was high, drunk, angry or all of the above. Also, he knew the tales Ali must’ve told them about him to embarrass him. 

So, to hear that one of the powerpuff girls had feelings for him and was concerned for him was odd and… touching. 

His sister never failed to remind him of how worthless he was. He didn’t remember the last time his father had a word with him. Although his mother still cared for him, she looked at him as a lost cause. This was the first time in a while he heard of someone being worried for him and it brought a strange ache in his chest. 

In all of this, he didn’t miss how CeCe tried to get Ali to break her friendship with [Y/N]. It made sense that CeCe might be a little insecure, knowing another girl had feelings for her boyfriend. 

However, what surprised him was his sister’s reaction. The Alison he knew would’ve been on her way to make [Y/N]’s life miserable for liking him. Except, what she did was the exact opposite. She stood up for [Y/N] and was not ready to give up on their friendship. This only increased his curiosity about the girl who had feelings for him. 

After that night, Jason began to observe [Y/N] when she was around. He was very discreet in doing so, because he didn’t want to appear… well, creepy. She might be crushing on him and was worried about him. But, he was very well aware that she was about five years younger than him and he wanted to be careful. He also didn’t want Ali to know that he knew about [Y/N]’s feelings for him. 

A few weeks later, he understood why Alison didn’t want to lose her friendship with [Y/N]. The [y/h/c]- haired girl was a ray of sunshine to describe her simply. With her bright [y/e/c] eyes and genuine smile, she could win anyone over. There were a handful of times he saw her stand up to Ali all without losing her composure and that amazed him. 

He crossed paths with her a handful of times and he began to doubt whether she had a crush on him. Her breathing didn’t race, her cheeks didn’t pink, and her eyes didn’t wander in nervousness. Instead, she would flash him one of those kind smiles and politely greet him before carrying on with whatever she was doing. She didn’t act the way he expected girls would do when they liked someone. 

Days passed. Jason was caught between trusting what he overheard and thinking if he misunderstood something. 

Soon, Labor Day arrived. Ian returned from Hilton Hill and was determined on patching things up with Jason. The next thing Jason remembered was waking up in the morning with a terrible hangover, a suspicious note, and the terrifying news of his little sister missing. His parents were shattered and Ali’s friends were frightened. Ian left Rosewood. The police were unsuccessful in locating his sister. 

That was a wakeup call for Jason. He was devastated. He and Ali barely got along, but she was his baby sister. He was supposed to protect her and he failed. Now, she was gone. 

Soon, he and his family moved out of Rosewood after the police closed the case. 

He kept the note for some reason and it made him sick to his stomach every time he read it. I know what you did. Alison got on his last nerve most of the time, but he would never hurt her. Yet, that night was a blur and part of him often wondered if he had unintentionally hurt her. 

He never wanted to be stuck in such a situation again, where he couldn’t remember anything. Therefore, he had finally gotten help for his addiction and changed himself for the better. He knew his parents noticed the changes in him, but they never said anything. They were grieving Alison and he didn’t blame them. 

‘I just… I feel bad for him. His addiction’s gotten worse since we met him, I feel. His family doesn’t seem to care about him and he doesn’t have the greatest set of friends either. I feel like he can do better with the right guidance. That’s all.’ 

[Y/N]’s words occasionally rang in his ears. He often thought about her and how she was doing. He wondered if she and the other girls still hung out, thought about Ali. 

A year later, they got confirmation Alison was dead. 

It was with great difficulty that he and his parents went back to Rosewood. Being present at his little sister’s funeral was the hardest thing he experienced. Alison’s best friends were there along with their families. They hugged him and his parents, offering their condolences. 

After the funeral, Jason and his parents once again left Rosewood. His father buried himself in his work while his mother tried her best to move forward. It broke Jason’s heart to see his mother stare at nothing with blank eyes during the day and he would often hear her walk around the house at night, unable to sleep. 

Jason tried to indulge himself in work as well, helping his father with his real estate business. The thought that he might’ve hurt Ali was always there in the back of his mind. The temptation to drink his sorrow away was there, but he was successful in not giving in. 

Shortly after, Alison’s friends came up with the idea of a memorial. His parents were touched by the idea; however, they didn’t have the strength to return to Rosewood and participate in it. Therefore, Jason took responsibility and came to Rosewood yet again. 

This was the first time he actually had a conversation with Alison’s friends. He could sense the wariness from Aria, Emily and Spencer. [Y/N] and Hanna, on the other hand, seemed at ease. He was glad he got to interact with [Y/N] again; after all, she unknowingly played a part in him changing his life for the better. [Y/N] was still the same a year later; soft-spoken, calm, kind eyes, and warm smile. 

He ran into [Y/N] by coincidence on the day of the SATs. He had been furious and hurt after hearing about Ali’s memorial being destroyed by someone. He wanted answers and didn’t shy away from tracking down the head detective of his sister’s case even during a storm. Before he could find Wilden, he found [Y/N] instead. He was glad he ran into her; talking to her calmed him down a little. 

The third time he and [Y/N] were in the same room was when she was hospitalized after the accident. When the news initially reached him, he had been scared out of his mind. He desperately wanted to visit her, see how she was doing with his own eyes. After a couple of hours of mental debate, he gave in and visited her. Looking at her injured state, he had been worried, but she had reassured him, leaving him in disbelief. He had no idea how she remained so optimistic even in that situation. 

Unfortunately, he had to leave Rosewood that night. It was only a temporary trip to plan his sister’s memorial. When he was leaving town, he knew he was coming back. For good. For [Y/N]. 

During that break, he had no idea he would find out a secret that would change his life. 

~ flashback ends ~ 

Crickets chirped in the background, laughter of people rang in the air from a distance. Jason observed [Y/N]’s reaction after he finished speaking. She stared straight ahead, still seated in the passenger seat of his car. Somewhere during his revelation, her hand had moved away from his and rested in her lap, clutching the paper bag of pastries absent-mindedly. 

“[Y/N]?” he called softly, not wanting to startle her, after minutes passed by in silence. 

She turned to look at him and he had a hard time reading her expression. 

“I- you- uh, you haven’t said anything,” he said, a little nervously, his fingers tightening on the gear shift between them. 

“All this time,” she began, her voice low. “You knew how I felt about you.” 

“No,” he rushed to say before sighing. “Yes. I don’t know, to be honest.” 

[Y/N] simply stared at him and he took that as his cue to continue, “It’s been a year, [Y/N]. I didn’t know for sure if you still felt the same way.”

She nodded her head slowly and her eyes moved away from his, thinking over his words. 

“Hey,” he said softly, placing a hand on her forearm. “I haven’t been playing with you or- or teasing you if that’s what you’re thinking. I honestly didn’t know how to bring this up.” 

Her eyes softened a bit at that. 

“I mean, you’re so young. I don’t even know if it’s right for me to feel the way I do about you,” he confessed, not meeting her eyes. “Besides, you were my sister’s best friend. That makes it all the more… complicated, I guess.” 

“I understand,” she replied after a few moments and he looked at her again. “I have no idea how it started. How I started to care for you. It kind of slowly turned into more and I was guilty… and scared. I mean, you’re Ali’s brother. I thought best friend’s brother was off limits or something.” 

He chuckled at her words. 

“Ali knew, though,” he pointed out. “And, she never asked you?” 

“No,” she frowned. “I’m still surprised by it.” 

“From what I overheard, she sounded like she didn’t want to lose you,” he replied. 

“That’s… a little weird,” she said. “I mean, even if she didn’t want to be friends with me anymore, she would’ve had the others.” 

“I guess so,” he nodded. “Ali was… unpredictable.” 

“I would’ve predicted the Ali I knew to confront me the moment she knew,” [Y/N] remarked and Jason nodded again.

The two fell into silence and [Y/N] knew he was patiently waiting for her to answer. Suddenly, she felt a little overwhelmed in the confined space of his car. She opened the door and stepped out of the vehicle, leaving the pastry bag on the seat. She closed the door and walked a few steps away before stopping.

Jason followed her and stood next to her. He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know. He didn’t want to make her feel pressured. 

After a few moments, she turned and stood, facing him. 

“My feelings for you haven’t changed,” she said quietly, wrapping her arms around herself. His breath hitched at her words and he grew hopeful. “But, I’m scared. This would change things, wouldn't it? If- if we gave us a chance?” 

“I think so,” he replied, taking a step towards her. His heart was still racing from hearing that she still liked him. 

“I’m scared,” she repeated, looking up at him. “My family, my friends… I don’t know how they’ll react.” 

In the back of her mind, she didn’t forget about A. She realized that they could use Jason to make her life more miserable. However, she was tired of being cautious.

“I hear you,” he replied sincerely. “But, for now, what do you want?” 

She gazed into his eyes before replying a few moments later, “I want to be with you. I want to give us a chance and… and see where it goes.”

Her response knocked the breath out of his lungs, freezing him momentarily. 

“What about you?” she still asked, despite having an idea of what his answer might be. 

He tenderly cupped her right cheek in his palm. 

“I want to be with you too,” he answered. “Just like you, I’m terrified. I know that this… us might be strange for your family and friends. But, we’ll take it one day at a time and figure things out as we go.” 

“Okay,” she answered, holding his wrist with her hands. “Okay, deal.” 

Finally, she smiled, the tension leaving her, and he returned it. His thumb ran over her chin, his eyes dropping to her lips for a second. In response, her hold on his wrist tightened, almost in anticipation. The dream from earlier that morning had left her wanting. 

He leaned towards her slowly, giving her time to pull away if she didn’t want to. Instead, she met him halfway, standing on her tiptoes. Their lips pressed against each other, the contact making them shudder a little. For their first kiss, they didn’t feel fireworks nor any adrenaline rush. Their lips moved in a slow, steady rhythm, leaving them feel fuzzy and warm on the insides. 

When they separated, they noticed they were pressed against each other. His one hand still held her cheek while the other was wrapped around her back, holding her to him. She had one hand on his heart while the other cupped his clean-shaven cheek. 

“This is not a dream, right?” he whispered and she let out a breathy chuckle. If only he knew. 

“No, it’s not,” she replied instead, her thumb caressing his cheekbone. 

“Okay, good,” he said with mock relief, causing her to laugh again with him joining her. 

She moved both of her arms to wrap around his back and hugged him, pressing her cheek against his chest. He instantly hugged her back, his one hand still around her back and the other now cradling her head. He dropped a kiss against her hair before leaning his head against hers. 

They were both aware that the road ahead won’t be easy. Nevertheless, they were ready to face whatever it was their strange town had in store for them.

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