dreamlikequality replied to your post: Idk what to do... all of my friends are antis, and...
not anon but god I have this thing where. if someone is nice to me, I feel really scared of making them mad at me! so if an anti mistakenly interacts with me and i like them and realize theyre an anti later, I get hit with mega Bad Bad Bad Feelings at the idea of us coming into conflict, even if I barely know them. even just one casual conversation does it. ugh
I know exactly that feeling! I think for me, it comes from this fear that Once They Know, they’ll go on an endless hunt to ‘#expose’ me, pull up all my accounts and link them all together in a large, elaborate callout post and End Me Forever.
Is it just my autism? I worry about small transgressions blowing out of proportion into grandiose fiascoes. I read that’s a common trait of it.
I remember being in a sonic discord once, and it felt like a proshipping environment, full of said proshippers, right? I got along with this fellow named Eevee or something, and even though I said in my head “man what if they’re the token anti” cuz their bio on the bio channel was like, stereotypically anti-esque. But I didn’t wanna be THAT person yknow...
I had no worries cuz I was using a different discord account than the one with my main name attached to it...I could metaphorically fux around and talk about problematic shit....but then the second I mentioned rouge x tails they full 180 told me they hated me now and that SUPER HURT....
“They’re an anti!” I told myself. “Don’t feel bad if they get told off they would have never truly been a good friend” but for some reason I just felt wrong after that. Even with the separate account I felt like this Eevee person saw thru me, into my head and back out and knew I had other discord accounts (at the time? I think 5 actually...) and all t he exact names of the accounts. All because they said “Okay! I hate you now”
I kept up a nonchalant persona like “pft I don’t actually ship it I just wanted to see what they’d say” to the other members, after Eevee like, never came back after that. Even after the mods apologized for them (tragic that they felt responsible...I kinda egged them on), my world felt spinny. I was afraid if I sat on this too long it would only be a matter of time till they Find Me Out.
That’s pretty much The Worst experience I’ve had with an anti so far. Not nearly as vile as what some other antiantis deal with. I should feel lucky it didn’t get worse.
