The writing is impeccable. I binge read through this series and I was hoping I would never get up to date with it, just so I can have more time. Agshhd the las chapter was so good, the humor, or bitchy comebacks the way you describe feeling. I can’t wait for chapter 6 🤭🫶
Thank you so much!!! 😫 they gotta have some of those humorous snarky moments together because when you were with someone for so long, I think it becomes second nature in a playful way to be a bit bitchy lol
Hopefully chapter 6 is equally as good! Because I’m sweatin’ 🤣 thank you so much for being so sweet! I hope you’re having a wonderful day 🖤
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"Hey [Y/N]! Over here!"
You stand on your tip toes and look over the crowd of people waiting on line to get in.
You finally see your cousin, Kiara, and your other cousins, Brendan and Leah.
You make your way through the crowd and finally catch up to them.
"Goodness" you say as you fix your hair.
"The line is insane! This place must be amazing! " Leah says gazing at the building.
"How are you doing? How was the bar?" Kiara asks.
You smile, "I met someone...a boy..."
Brendan gasps. "Oh my gosh, you did? Was he cute? Would he like me?!"
You laugh, "Actually, he's a celebrity. His name is Austin Butler. He's in the new Elvis movie"
Brendan, Leah and Kiara all stare at you. Their jaws drop.
"You. Met. Austin. BUTLER?" Leah exclaims.
"He is so hot, [Y/N]" Kiara says.
"Oh my god, tell us everything" Brendan squeals.
You shrug, "I don't know. We met at the hotel bar, we chatted for about an hour and that was it"
Brendan grabs your arm.
"Do you think he's into you?" he asks.
"I don't know!" you shriek. "He kind of checked me out as I was leaving and he did say "I never met anyone like you" before I was leaving. Oh, and he did wink at me" you rattle off as you retell the tale.
Leah jumps up and down.
"Ugh, he is so gorgeous. You're so lucky!" Leah exclaims.
"Finally! They're letting us in" Brendan says.
When you enter the club, you notice that it is massive and there are tons more people inside than there are outside. There are crowds of people dancing close to one another, some making out, others laughing and chatting over the loud music.
"Drinks on me!" Brendan says. "I just got a huge promotion at work and I want to treat my favorite people to a good time"
You smile. He orders you all apple martinis.
"To Brendan getting a promotion and for [Y/N] meeting Austin Butler" Kiara says as she holds her glass in the air.
You shake your head and laugh.
"Cheers" you say, as everyone joins glasses.
~
You wake up the next morning at 7AM with a pounding headache. Wow, you definitely shouldn't have had 4 apple martinis and however many shots Leah was throwing down your throat.
You rub your eyes and grip your head. OUCH.
"Fuck" you groan.
You turn slowly trying not to make the headache worse. You open the bedside table and fish out a bottle of Advil. Thank god you remembered to pack it.
You take a swig of water from a bottle on your nightstand and swallow. The only thing that was going to help get rid of this hangover was coffee...and lots of it.
You manage to apply a little bit of makeup and get dressed for the day.
You grab your purse, stuff some cash into your pocket and walk down to the lobby and out into the crisp New York City air. About two blocks away, you find a Starbucks. Hallelujah!
You walk in and order the largest coffee you could get and hand the barista some cash. You take a seat at one of the tables and take out your book.
You take a sip of your coffee and continue to read. The vanilla flavored coffee makes your tongue tingle. You were starting to feel a bit better.
"Wow, she even reads at the coffee shop"
You look up and Austin is standing in front of you with a tray full of four hot coffees.
A smile instantly spread across your face. He's wearing a white t-shirt, a leather jacket, black jeans and boots. He looks so handsome.
You blush and close your book.
"She does. She reads anywhere she can actually" you reply.
Austin bites his lip and gestures to the chair.
"Mind if I sit for a minute?" he asks.
"Please" you say moving your book to the side so he has room.
He takes a seat and puts the tray of coffee in front of him.
"You must really like coffee" you say, eyeing the tray.
He giggles and brushes his hand against a cup.
"I do very much, but this coffee is for my team. I have some interviews to do today. I may be an actor but I'm still the coffee boy when it comes to it" he explains.
You laugh, "Well coffee boy, what kind of interviews do you have to do?
He shrugs, " I have to be at the TODAY Show in...." He looks down at his watch. "45 minutes"
You place your chin in your hand.
"You should probably get to it then, huh?" you ask.
He crosses his arms. "Wow! Wanting me to leave already?" he asks sarcastically.
You shake your head and giggle. "No, I just want you to be on time!"
He smiles and runs his fingers through his hair.
"So, I was wondering...maybe after my interviews we could do something. I have a really cool place I'd like to show you"
You can feel yourself blushing again. You look into his blue eyes.
"Hmm, that sounds like it could be fun. What's the place?"
Austin points his finger at you. "Now, that is a surprise"
He gets up and grabs his tray.
"How about you meet me in the lobby, say, around 2PM?"
You hold you book closer and nod.
"Sure thing"
He smiles, his white teeth sparkling.
"Great, I can't wait. See you later, [Y/N]" he says and turns to walk out the door.
~
It's about 1:30PM and you are in your hotel room on the phone with Kiara.
"Oh my god, do you think it's a date?" Kiara asks.
You shrug and finish applying your blush.
"Maybe? I don't know but it's crazy. He is so nice to me, maybe he just wants to be friends"
You can hear Kiara sigh on the phone.
"I think you should just stop thinking and let whatever happens, happen" she says.
You nod, "Yeah, maybe I should. Well, let me go. I'm meeting him downstairs soon"
"You have to call me as soon as you get back. Let me know everything please!" she squeals and hangs up the phone.
You put your phone down and finish putting on the rest of your makeup and look in the mirror. You felt pretty and confident.
You grab your things and take the elevator down to the lobby. As soon as you open the door, you see Austin waiting on a large brown sofa. He was on his phone texting someone.
"Hello, coffee boy" you say, as you approach him.
He looks up and smiles, stuffing the phone in his coat pocket.
"Hi book worm, you ready to go?" He stands up and stuff his hands in his pocket.
You laugh at the silly nickname he gives you.
"As long as you're not going to kill me, then yes, I'm ready"
Austin shakes his head and laughs.
"You're funny, [Y/N]" he says.
You walk out of the hotel and start down the street.
"So how was your interview?" you ask.
"It was good, I know a lot of people hate doing interviews but I love it. I enjoy getting to talk to new people, meet new faces. I think everyone deserves to have their questions answered thoroughly and thoughtfully, you know?"
You love how sincere he is, how other people's lives mattered deeply to him. He clearly wasn't some stuck up guy like some other celebrities can be.
You both walk four more blocks and continue to talk.
"Okay, here we are" he says, holding his arms out.
You look up and read the old sign on the building.
Baumann's Fine Books - A Vintage Book Store
Your eyes shift to him and he rocks back on his feet.
"This is my favorite book store in all of New York City. It's kind of a hidden gem. I have found a lot of amazing books here. I thought you'd like it"
You can see how nervous he is trying to explain himself. You can't help but smile.
"Austin, this is so sweet" you reply and take a step forward. You wrap your arms around his body and bring him in for a hug.
You feel it linger as his arms wrap around you and give you a squeeze.
"Well, let's go inside! There's a ton we have to look at" he says.
He swings open the door and allows you to walk in first. Another point for him being a gentleman.
Your mouth drops as your scan the small store. There were books everywhere. They were stacked in piles, some on display, some in rows. It looked like the walls were made out of books!
"This is....wow" you say as you gaze at the walls.
Austin nods. "I know, I was a little overwhelmed when I first came in here but you get used to it"
You peruse the aisle and come across a section were older books lay.
"Oh my god" you say, pulling out a thick, red, book.
The title read, Gone with the Wind.
"That's a classic" Austin says, leaning over your shoulder to read the title.
You look up at him, his face is inches away from yours.
"This is my favorite book of all time" You run your fingers along the cover. The book looks about 90 years old but it was in great shape.
You hold it close to your chest and smile.
"I'm buying this" you say aloud. Austin smiles, "Good" and walks down the aisle to look at more books.
About 15 minutes later, Austin walks over to you with a book in hand.
"You ready? I just found an entire book with all of Shakespeare's tragedies" he says as he looks down at the book and flips through the pages.
"Wow! I love Shakespeare. You'll have to let me borrow that sometime" you say.
He looks up at you and winks.
"Of course"
You walk up to the cashier and place the book on the counter.
"Cash or credit?" the cashier asks.
"Credit" you say and fish your wallet out of your purse.
You unzip and immediately gasp.
"Oh no" you say, frantically looking in each slot.
"What's wrong?" Austin asks.
"My card" you cry. "It's not here"
You have no idea where it could be. You are always responsible and never misplace anything. This wasn't like you!
"It's okay, where do you think the last place you had it was?" Austin asks. He places a hand on your shoulder and you feel your body become warm.
"I....uh...I don't remember" you say, trying to recall where it could be.
You look down and sigh when it finally comes to you. "Shit. I left it at the hotel bar last night. I never closed my card"
Austin takes out his wallet and places his card on the counter.
"Good, now we know where it is"
You look at him and furrow your eyebrows.
"What are you doing?"
He places his book on the counter and smiles at you.
"I'm buying you this book" he says as if it was obvious.
"No, I can't let you do that, Austin" you say. "It's $135!"
Austin shrugs, "Stop it, I want to. It's something you really want and you deserve it"
You let your shoulders relax and you bite your lip. This man was everything you have dreamed of.
"That's very sweet of you, thank you. I owe you" you say.
Austin shakes his head and pays for the books. You walk out of the store and down the street toward the hotel.
Suddenly, Austin's phone rings. He fishes it out of his pocket and looks at the screen.
You look over and see the name "Kaia" on his phone once more.
He presses the side button again.
This girl Kaia had to be his girlfriend. There was no way it could be anyone else...you wonder why he has yet to mention her.
"So, when we get back to the hotel, would you like to grab a drink? I mean, your card is already open" Austin jokes.
You giggle and nod. "I'd love to"
You both arrive at the hotel and walk over to the bar.
The same bartender from last night was there cleaning a glass with a rag.
"Hello sir, my friend, [Y/N] here, seems to have left her card from last night" Austin says.
The word "friend" made your stomach twist. You didn't want to be his friend. You definitely wanted more than that.
The man nods.
"Yes, miss, you did. I have it right over here" he says.
"Please close it for her and take mine" Austin says and hands the man his debit card.
"Hey! Stop, paying for everything!" you exclaim.
Austin laughs and takes a seat on the stool.
"Don't worry about it, I want to treat you"
You shake your head. "Fine, then I'll be ordering the most expensive drink on the menu" You cross your arms and pretend to be mad.
Austin scoffs, "Have I mentioned you're really funny?"
You shrug, "You might have"
The bartender hands you your card and takes your drink order. Another chardonnay and a whiskey sour.
Austin's phone rings again. He sighs loudly and takes it out of his pocket and checks the screen.
Kaia.
You clear your throat. "So....may I ask you a question?"
Austin nods and hits the side button again.
"Sure, anything"
You look at him and try to decide how to ask the question but for some reason, it made you nervous so you couldn't get it out properly.
"So...like...what's up?" you ask.
Austin laughs and makes a face.
"Nothing much, what's up with you?"
You shake your head and get serious.
"I mean...what's up with your....life....like...are you....like single, married, divorced?" you spew out. You feel your cheeks become red with embarrassment.
Austin looks down at his phone and breathes in.
"Wow, you sound like a legal document" he laughs.
You smirk and throw your hands up. "I don't know, I was just wondering"
Austin sighs, "Um...well, to answer your question, yes. I do have a girlfriend"
You glance up at him and could feel the disappointment wash over.
Just then, the bartender comes over with a bottle of chardonnay.
"More wine, miss?" he asks as he holds up the wine for you to see.
No cause I’m taking a break from studying and writing down a layout for the next few chapters in “The delicate beginning rush” series and you guys….. I’m getting myself so hyped up about it.
All I can say is that this series will be long and probably the most slow burn one I’ve ever written.
Hope y’all are ready because I’ve been listening to Evermore, Plastic Hearts and Emails I can’t send, so ofc I’m unpacking all that drama into this fanfic😈
Fake article!!
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19 and taking hearts left and right
The 19 year old actress, more recently turned singer and songwriter, seems to be going through men faster then we can keep up. And no, just because they have a girl, doesn’t mean she won’t make a move!!
Last week the Met Gala, happened and as every other year, the event was full of A-listers, with thick pockets and a vague notion of the real life. On the guest list was also (Y/n) a 19 year old actress who’s known for her role as Ana and Christian Grey’s daughter, Phoebe. But that first role of hers was not what got her the invitation, it was her most recent role as Amelia Baron, a troubled teenager who’s death is a mystery. The movie ‘Reconstructing Amelia’ resulted in (Y/n)’s career to skyrocket, as it was well received by critics and even scored 5 Oscar nominations, one of which is for best lead actress.
(Y/n) has been slowly going up the ladder of fame, making friends left and right, while keeping a good private life. Her fans describe her as relatable and sweet, always respectful and friendly. But they might be wrong, no one gets an Oscar nomination, unless they really know how to act, right?
In October last year the actress's parents, who are not famous people, divorced. The whole thing was carried privately and the reasons for it happening are still unknown. Some close sources say it's been a long time coming, but they restrained from going into specifics. When the divorce was finalized, (y/n) was photographed outside the courthouse house crying (pictures below). Now it's said that the actress is no longer in contact with her parents and that they've moved out of New York, leaving the 19 year old all on her own.
Now you might be wondering how does this all link to our article? Well some people speculate she’s still picking up the pieces of whatever happened between her parents and to do that she chose dating. Serial dating, to be specific.
As we mentioned earlier she was at the Met, dressed in Prada, so she was sat at the same table as the cast from the upcoming biopic ‘Elvis’. According to her instagram she met and chatted with the entire cast, but there’s only one person that’s 100% sure she talked to. That person being none other then the 29 year old actor Austin Butler, the two of them posed for a hot picture together, you can find it on her instagram. If you didn’t know he has a girlfriend, who was also his plus one at the event that night, but judging by the picture him and (y/n) it would never cross your mind they aren’t together.
The drama didn’t stop there as two days later they were photographed hanging out at a cafe in Brooklyn, no Kaia Gerber (the actor’s girlfriend) in sight. Fans came to their defense fast, saying they are just friends, but the incident repeated on Sunday when they were again caught by the paparazzi.
The plot only thickens, if on Friday they were seemingly far apart from each other, Sunday, fans reported they were close, laughing and joking around, until their walk got cut short by a rude fan. People who were there said the fan, a man in his fourties’, asked (Y/n) for a picture and she denied. The man went on to call her names and bring up the famous lingerie photo shoot she did when she was 18, for the movie ‘Reconstructing Amelia.’ Butler apparently came to the rescue, defending her and then driving off with her, in what fans claimed to be her car.
Why we say she’s taking hearts left and right? Well… cut to Monday this week. She and Joshua Bassett, were spotted together at a restaurant on the upper east side of Manhattan, enjoying lunch. The two of them were not shy to share some PDA with us, as Joshua kissed her on the forehead. At this point she seems the have moved on from Austin : “from rock’n roll music straight into pop” said TMZ.
The 20 year old actor was a full gentleman and bought her a gift, a 300$ silver bracelet with a Purple Heart, this let’s us to believe they have probably been together for a while now.
And while all that was happening between (Y/n) and Joshua, Austin was photographed with his girlfriend, Kaia out in Boston, after he took a last minute detour flight to see her. Fans noted that there seems to be tension between the two and Kaia looks rather sad in the pictures.
Now the teams have formed, some of the fandom supports the relationship of (Y/n) and Joshua, while the others side with Butler. We are of course to be reminded of the 10 year age gap between the latter and her. Some say Austin went so deep into method acting that he’s now searching for his Pricilla and that the 9 year age gap he has with his current girlfriend, doesn’t quite fit.
We want to hear your thoughts on this? Is she dating Joshua or Austin? Is Austin a cheater as some fans claim?
We’ll do some more digging of our own, but let us know your opinions.
Oh and lastly let’s not forget she has a song coming out in a few weeks, dedicated to her long time best friend, Timothee Chalamet. And fans believe this is only the first song out of an entire album, that she might have in the works. Why is that important? Because she’s a swiftie and has worked closely with Taylor as a backing singer for her re-recorded albums, so fans expect heartbreaking, cryptic songs form (y/n). She proved she’s a great songwriter, when writing a full verse for Taylor’s song ‘Nothing new’. Now with every day passing and every new post from (y/n), Jack Antonoff of Finneas O’Connell fans find tones of Easter eggs in true swiftie fashion.
Maybe she’ll explain everything in a future song. Some say she’s working on her Red/Speak now era, dating older man, comparing Austin Butler to John Mayer and Jake Gylenhaal, requesting that she writes her own ‘Dear John’ and ‘All too well’. I guess we will see!
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Pairing: Austin Butler x singer/actress fem reader
Warning: cursing, fluff, crying … idk that all I think
Plot: after meeting Joshua there’s a part of you that feels like he would be a wiser decision of a boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean you can just wash Austin away. FaceTime calls become your thing with him and all the mixed signals have you twisted.
Word count: ~6900
Disclaimer: everything is fake !!!
"Does this look ok?" I ask twirling around in front of my phone for Timmy to see. I'm in the bathroom of the studio cursing myself for not thinking to bring a backup outfit when I left the house, once again in sweats. "Sweet dumpling you're going with him on walk in the park, sweats is the best thing to wear." He says. "Ugh of course you think so, you're a boy." I sigh exasperated, throwing my hands up in the air.
Timothee giggles at my worked up stance, which only makes me more angry. "Ok that's it, I'm hanging up and calling Roxi." Before he gets to defend himself, I end the call and dial Roxanne on FaceTime. The only reason why she wasn't my first option to call, was because she got back very late last night and I wanted to let her sleep as much as possible. It takes a minute for her to pick up, but she does eventually do it. "Ugh what?" I wince a the fact that I woke her up from her sleep, beating myself up for being selfish here. "Need help, do I look ok to go out with Joshua?" I ask.
In a second, she sits up on the bed, trying to fix herself up a bit and concentrate on the matter at hand. Giving me a good look over, I can see the wheels in her head turning. "Yeah, it's a park date and you look extremely hot, just let your hair down." Taking the hair elastic out of my messy bun, I let my hair fall on my back, brushing my hands through it to detangled some of the knots. "Perfect!"
"Of I don't know what I'm doing Roxanne, last night all I could think of was Austin. He called me" clutching my head in my hands I rest my elbows against the bathroom sink. "He called?" She seems just as surprised as was when it happened. "Yeah" I nod. "He did and we cooked together, then he asked me to come over at his house in LA, so he can make me home made pizza, then we said good night, except he said: sweet dreams, my darling. My darling? What the fuck?" I vomit words at a fast speed, my voice raising a bit as I get more frustrated. "Woah (y/n) breathe, you're turning purple."
"I'm being serious Roxanne, what am I to understand from all of this? He has a girlfriend" this whole situation is so twisted and confusing, I've been dreaming all night of him, but here I am now, stressing for a date with another guy, because I have to get Austin out of my system. "I know and I am taking you serious. I don't know what to say, I think he likes you. Plus you said he told you the relationship was just PR, so maybe it doesn't count to him or Kaia." I see Roxanne's point of view, but still it's not that easy.
"Maybe, but the public eye still counts them as a couple and I don't want me and Austin to be dragged any more than we already have." She sighs, bringing the covers up to her nose, as I chew on my lips waiting for her input. "Well why don't you just see where this thing with Joshua goes and then you can talk to Austin-"
"Talk to him? Do you actually think I have the courage to do that?" I yell at her, cause she must be making fun of me. No way am I going to embarrass myself and tell him about my crush. "Ok but won't he know 'dandelions' is about him?" Biting at the inside of my cheek, I play with the ends of my sleeves. I have thought about it, of course I have, but I tried to make the song as vague as possible. "It's too vague for him to figure out."
"Are you sure? I mean..." I shake my head, not wanting to go over that hill just yet. "But you want to know what's the craziest thing?" I ask, picking her interest back up. "What?" Roxanne asks excitedly. "When we were talking at one point he saw the bracelet on my writs and he seemed jealous?!" I'm still not sure that's what he saw or if that was what his reaction meant, but it's the best I could come up with, to explain his behavior. Roxi gasps, covering her mouth with the blankets. "There you have it, he for sure likes you."
"But what if it was all in my head?" She's quick to shake her head. "Noooo first of all, he called you, then made sure you ate, then he invited you over, not to say he called you 'my darling'" she swoons on camera, making me giggle. But the nagging feeling in my stomach stays. "I have to go, I'm going to be late. Love you" I wave "Good luck!" She says throwing the phone somewhere on the bed before I end the call, giving me a good view of the ceiling.
Walking out of the bathroom still laughing, I hug Jack on my way out. Matt is already waiting for me in the car, driving in the direction of Central Park, as soon as I get in. Today is a beautiful day, the temperature is high enough that you don't need a jacket to keep warm, my favorite kind of weather. I put the window down and take big gulps of air, it's very rare that the air smells clean enough for it to be enjoyable, so I'm profiting of it now.
Central Park looks beautiful this time of year, it's still too early into spring for any over the top nature growth, but it's late enough in the winter time, that the grass is a dark fresh green. Joshua is waiting for me right where I told him to, wearing a grey sweater and black shorts, which seems a bit too little clothing for the day, but whatever if he's not cold who am I to tell him what to wear. A smile paints itself on his lips when he sees me and I can't help but reciprocate.
"Hello." He says going in for a hug which I welcome putting my arms around him, hiding my face in the crook of his neck enjoying his minty scent. "Hi!" I whisper back and Joshua laughs a bit, making me relax in his embrace. "You look gorgeous!" He says, after letting me go and roaming his eyes over my frame. "Thank you!" I try to play it cool, but I know I'm blushing a deep red shade.
"After you!" He says, motioning for me to walk forward, imitating a valet and rotating his hand dramatically, which causes me to smile. I start walking and he follows me close, only a few inches away from me, our dangling hands barely touching. There's this irresistible current between our hands and when his pinky finger brushes the back of my hand, I pull it away, bringing it to my chest. "Sorry." He says looking forward and licking his lips. With my heart beating out of my chest, I decide to just take a leap of faith and I slowly reach my hand out to tangle my fingers with his. We lock eyes and in that moment this doesn't feel right nor wrong, it just feels numb, a burning question being branded into my brain: how would it feel to hold hands with Austin?
Shaking my head, I blink looking forward, I can't think like that, I'm with Joshua right now and Austin has a girlfriend. I laugh at myself a bit, I keep telling myself the only thing stopping me from fully accepting my crush is Kaia, but I know it's in fact just my own stupid insecurities. "What's your favorite color?" Joshua asks, breaking the silence. "Hm red? Or purple. Yours?" He smiles at me, before answering. "Light blue, just like the sky right now." As if on queue, we look up at the clear sky. The same shade of blue as Austin's eyes, I notice, so I have to force my eyes away. "It's a good choice for a favorite color." I mumble as I drag him over to the grass, before sitting down. Joshua sits next to me, playing with the hem of his sweater. This meet cute feels so different form the previous one, it's like there's this awkwardness between us.
"Did I do something?" I ask out of fear, that I might be the culprit in this. He's quick to deny with a shake of his head. "No, I'm just, well I don't mean to pry, but that article." I suck in a breath, praying to god his next words will be anything but the judgement I expect, because I don't think I can hold it together if he's about to say something mean. "It's nothing, I know how the press works" Joshua says, holding his hands up. "I was just wondering, are you and Austin?" He doesn't dare to actually speak the words, leaving the question hanging. I brush a nervous hand through my hair, picking my next words carefully, licking my lips, before speaking. "We're friends, just friends." Why did that hurt? It's the truth, so why did it hurt? Oh, yeah, because I like him and I want him to be more.
"Oh, ok, cool cool" Joshua says, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. And then there's silence again, awkward silence. I absentmindedly pick at the grass, counting in my head up to 100, to occupy my mind, because if I let it sail free it will go back to Austin. "So I saw that you were in the studio yesterday, how's it working?" He asks. "It's good, it feels amazing to give my words meaning through music. I used to write them just as poems and now I have to make up melodies for them, which only adds to the power of what I'm saying."
"So if you were to choose, lyrics over melody or melody over lyrics?" This catches me a little off guard and it takes a second to come up with an answer. "Lyrics." I say confident in my choice. "Why?" Joshua pushes. "I love words and yeah I guess, as I said, melody adds some power to them, but I'm the kind of person that listens more to the lyrics than the actual melody." He listens to me closely, while his eyes search for mine. When we lock eyes there's this connection between us. It takes my breath away and I fiddle around with the bracelet on my wrist, which causes Joshua to look down. He smiles, moving one hand over to my wrist. He twists the bracelet around so that the purple gem faces him and he brushes his fingers over it. "You like it?"
His eyes lock back onto mine, glimmering with excitement. "I do." Pleased with my answers he brings my wrist up to his lips, kissing it tenderly, while holding eye contact. My cheeks feel hot and I can't help the way my heart skips a beat. "I'm glad" he says.
I clear my throat and take my hand out of his, ignoring the voice in the back of my head saying not to. "Do you want to play a game?" I suggest, even though I have no game in mind that we could play to make time pass. "Sure" he says, leaning back on his hands. "What game?"
"I haven't thought that far in advance" I confess laughing. "Truth or dare?" He suggests and even though that game always felt kind of like a trap, I agree. "Ok ladies first."
"Truth or dare?" I ask and Joshua replies instantly. "Truth" tapping my pointer against my chin, I think of something to ask, if it were me and Austin playing this game I'd have so much to ask, but with Joshua there's not much I'd like to know. Taking a cold shower mentally, I focus back on the task. "Favorite flavor of ice cream" he giggles before answering. "The classic chocolate" of course he'd like chocolate.
"Truth or dare?" What if I wanted to be a little risky? "Dare" ok I might regret that later, but the adrenaline I feel, is a plus for now, so I'll focus on that. "Do a hand stand" I laugh thinking he's joking, but I can see that he's very much not. "Ok but I'll need some help"
"Sure" we both stand up, shaking some of the dust off of our clothes. Sighing I bend over and prompt my palms in the grass, spreading my fingers. "Ok I'll hold your legs. On one" I breathe in "two" he puts a hand on the small of my back and the other before my thighs. "Three" I halt my legs up in the air and he helps me up, holding me by the waist. My top is sliding down, but he's quick to catch it and hold it up so that I'm not exposed. "I can't believe I'm doing this" I say surprised by the fact that actually managed to do it.
Joshua chuckles asking if I'm ready to come back down. "Yeah, I'm ready" I say and he supports me as I put my feet back down. Standing up straight feels weird with all the blood that had rushed to my head, but he catches me before I fall, holding me close to him. Our faces are inches apart, our breaths merging into one. I don't know who moved first, but his lips brush against mine and when I don't pull back he tightens his arms around my waist, deepening the kiss. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I let myself be engulfed by the kiss, his warm lips dancing in sink with mine. I feel butterflies in my stomach and dizzy in the head.
"Wow" he says pulling back a bit, holding his forehead glued to mine, both breathing heavy from the previous lack of air. I feel like Joshua is expecting me to say something, but I don't know what I should say. The kiss felt nice, but it felt no more passionate than the ones I had to do on screen for a script, it lacked something. It lacked someone. Or maybe I'm just self sabotaging.
Screwing my eyes shut, I take a deep breath. "I think we should probably stay friends" I say, taking a step back, working on unclasping the bracelet for around my wrist. I see the hurt in Joshua's eyes, but I know that if I don't do this now, we'll get too far down a road that will lead nowhere. "I'm sorry if I moved too fast, I should've-" he says and pain shoots through my chest. "N-no it's n-not I'm n-not. Please just - I'm sorry. I just don't think I feel like that for you." Lie, that's a lie, but I won't admit that now, I'm not yet ready to, tears sting my eyes and the breath gets caught in my chest.
"Please understand, I don't want to hurt you, I think we're better off as friends, I understand if you don't want me to still do the music video with you" closing his eyes, Joshua shakes his head. "No I still want you to do it, if you want to and I guess I appreciate you being honest" he takes my hands, which are still struggling to get the bracelet undone. "But please keep the bracelet, it's a gift." I hate the glossy look in his eyes, knowing I'm responsible for the tears he tries to hold back.
"O- ok, um I should go" I say dropping his hands and walking away. I try to keep my footing normal, but all I want is to get in the car and get home. I find Matt waiting by the car on a park bench and without a word I get in. "Everything ok miss?" He asks concerned, turning to look at me from his drivers seat. My tears start flowing and through the thick curtain of salty water pouring from my eyes I can see he's trying to stay calm, but half failing. "Y-yes I , I'm - he's"
"Did he try something?" Matt says through gritted teeth and I shake my head, wiping away at my tears. "No I just, I think I was mean? I said I just want to be friends"
"And did he push for more?" He asks, giving me a good look over. "No, but I just feel bad for rejecting him." Finally Matt relaxes in his seat, turning back to face the wheel. He turns on the radio and we drive away, no more questions asked.
Getting home, feels nice, my apartment is warm and as soon as I fall on the couch, my two cats come to cuddle with me. The mistake I make is checking my phone, only to see that, me and Joshua were photographed by the paparazzi. They caught us kissing and him helping me do the hand stand. I resist the urge to look at the comments and instead I open FaceTime.
I don't know what goes through my head when my finger rests on top of Austin's name or what ungodly force pushes my finger to actually tap the name and make the call. I panic and I try to hang up, but Austin is way too fast answering, before my better judgment wins. "Hey ther- (y/n)? What's wrong? Were you crying?" Austin asks concerned and I look at my face in the corner of the screen, my eyes are red and puffy and my cheeks are wet with tears. "No" using the back of my hand I wipe at my face, trying to rid of the evidence that I have been bawling my eyes out.
"Please tell me what's wrong" he pleads. "I kissed Joshua and then I told him I want to be just friends" Austin sighs, brushing a hand through his hair. "And did he not take it well?"
"No he was sweet about it, I just feel bad" he smiles at me, which kind of makes me feel better, I don't know why, but it does. "That's sweet of you, but you shouldn't be crying, unless of course you didn't mean to say it." There a twinkle in his eye, almost like he's hoping that's not the case. "No, no I meant it. I just, it didn't feel right, it felt scripted, in a way." I say, trying to explain why I did what I did. "Well there's nothing wrong with the fact that you didn't reciprocate his feelings." Austin says licking his lips.
My eyes get fixated on the pink plush skin of his lips and suddenly I realize I had no business calling him, we are friends I guess, but this is something I should talk about with Timmy and Roxanne, not Austin, we're not that close yet, we barely know each other. "I'm sorry, you're probably busy and I don't even know why I called you." I try to excuse myself, making him laugh. Oh gosh how good his laugh sounds, it's like the sound rings through my bones, turning them to jelly. "No worries, darling, I don't mind"
'Darling', there it is again, that unholy pet name. My tears are long forgotten, but my cheeks keep burning hot, blushing at his every action. "You look so pretty when you blush" Austin mumbles under his breath, almost like he's hoping I can't hear him. But I did hear him, loud and clear, blushing harder and sucking my lips, to stop the whimper resting on my tongue to fall. Austin is now just a frozen picture on my screen, eyes wide open and mouth agape. No one dares to speak, so there's just thick silence filling the air.
"I should go, I have to go over at Taylor's house." I mumble looking away from the screen and picking myself up from the couch. "Sure, yeah, talk soon, (y/n)" I offer him a shy smile, before ending the call. Trying to grip myself back to earth I count my breaths, while I get ready. Putting on a simple dark blue, long sleeve velvet dress and black tights, I braid my hair and apply some perfume. Checking myself out it the mirror, I conclude that I look pretty.
"Come on Matt, I don't want to be late for dinner." I say running out of my bedroom, finding Matt waiting by the elevator already. He smiles at me. "You look very beautiful miss." He says, holding a hand out, making sure the doors to the elevator don't close as I walk in. "Thank you" smiling I lean back against the wall and enjoying the short ride, applying some lip balm before walking out. Slipping into the back seat of the black SUV, I pull my phone out to tell Taylor I'll be there in 20 minutes. The New York dawn is a sight to remember, since it's still cold out, there's steam coming out of the pipeline underneath the city, the steam getting colored by the slowly setting sun. Shades of blue, pink, red and yellow, creating this beautiful painting, of ethereal scenery.
"Text me 20 minutes before you need me to come get you miss, have a good night!" Matt says, as I slide out of the car, saying goodbye to him. I can't wait to see Taylor and talk to her about this whole situation I have on my hands. We speak often, but it's been like a good week since we got the chance to really talk, she was over in London and I was busy, but as of next week I'm supposed to be back in the studio with her as she begins the recording of her new album.
I say 'Hello' to the security and make my way to her door, which she opens expectedly, coming my way with her arms stretched out for a hug. "Ugh I missed you terribly, (y/n)!" Taylor says, welcoming me in. "Hi Joe!" I say and he comes over to share a hug as well. "And hello to you too Benjamin." I lift up the fluffy cat and it starts purring. "Nice to see you, (y/n)" Joe says. Just like Taylor, he is a very nice person and despite the age gap between me and them, we all find each other's company entertaining, so dinner nights like this are an often occurrence, sometimes some more of our friends join, but tonight is just us three.
We make our way into their living room and sit down on the couch. "Do you want wine?" Joe asks going to the kitchen to grab glasses, I know I'm not 21, but in Europe I'm have the appropriate age to drink, so stop judging. "Yes, please." As he disappears into the kitchen, Taylor wiggles her brows at me, before speaking. "So when were you going to tell me you have a boyfriend?" She asks squealing. I blush, trying to hide my face behind Benjamin's furry head. "I don't, he asked me to be in a music video for him and I agreed, then he asked me for lunch and I went, but then we went on that stupid walk and he kissed me and I said I want to be just friends." I vent to her.
"And did you mean it?" I shrug my shoulders, not really knowing the answer, at the time when the kiss happened I was so sure, but the more I think about it the more I doubt it. "Earlier I did, but now?" Sighing I take the glass from Joe, thanking him, before he goes back to the kitchen. He's respectful and knows when some discussions are just for me and Taylor, so he busies himself with taking care of dinner, letting us girls to our own devices. "Ok, but you wrote a song?" I lift a brow at her, not really surprised that Jack told her about 'Dandelions'. She blushes sipping from the glass. "I did, but it's not about Joshua" that's when I get to read a thousand emotions over her face, worry, confusion, curiosity, excitement, all at once. "It's about-" I move my eyes to the side not daring to say his name. I haven't actually admitted Austin is the object of my inspiration for writing 'Dandelions'. Sure Roxi knew about it, but she said it and I just nodded, I didn't actually get to say the words out loud.
"(Y/n)" Taylor says setting her glass down, taking the one I have in hand and doing the same. She then cups both my hands in hers, smoothing the skin over my knuckles. "I saw some of the pictures and you know I hate the media, more then some and I know better then anyone how vicious and untrustworthy it is, but no matter I feel like it's my responsibility as your friend to tell you this. I've been 19 and I've met 30 year olds and they are charming and enticing, but they have no business dating someone ten years younger." I sigh deeply, knowing she is right, but then there's this loud voice in the back of my head saying "he's different", but how could I know, when I just met him. "I know, I just, the song came to me and I couldn't stop writing. Taylor I don't understand myself" before I even know it I'm crying again, my mind is too confused over what's happening. All the mixed signals and all my emotions have been toying with me.
Taylor brings me closer to her, hugging me and letting me cry on her shoulder. "I don't know what to tell you, other then it's so easy to get swept away." She soothes me. "But w-what if-f h-he nice, what i-if he likes me?" She sighs, petting my back as I shake in her arms. "And then there was that stupid article, they called me a serial dater, saying I'm going for another girl's boyfriend, bringing my parents into this." I feel Taylor squeeze me harder, trying to calm me down a bit. I look up from her shoulder as I hear the floor creak and see Joe come in, with a sympathetic smile, handing me a tissue as he sits in a chair across from us. "If I may be allowed to say something" he starts in his thick British accent. "I don't think you should be reading anything the media writes, especially now when you're growing. Developing feelings for people is sacred and it's no one's business. We humans are very susceptible, so reading stuff like that won't clear things. Maybe just let yourself be a lil more free, live in your narrative, not theirs" he's right, reading shit on the internet has often influenced my everyday life and my chronic fear of feelings only got lit up by that article. "(Y/n) do you think you rejected Joshua just because of that piece of crap?" Taylor asks.
I give it a thought, as it seems like something I would do. It did seem a little strange that after all the attraction I felt towards Joshua, I just didn't feel it anymore. "I don't know. Thank you Joe, for the kind words" I say directing a smile his way. "And that doesn't make things with Austin any easier. I like him, I'm sure of it, I can't stop thinking about him. I don't feel like that for Joshua, I mean yeah I guess I find him attractive and such, but I don't have him on my mind all the time like I do..." Taylor's eyes look sad hearing me talk, I guess that for her it feels like looking at a young version of herself doing the same mistakes again. "I can't tell you how to go about it, (y/n). I haven't met Austin, maybe he is a nice guy, just because I've dated douchesbags, doesn't make every 30 year old, one." I can tell that she only half means what she's saying, but I can see she feels for me and understands, probably better than anyone. "Maybe give Joshua another shot? Best romances start with being friends first. You're still young and it's hard to distinguish between lust and love" Taylor says. "Plus dating is about finding what you like, sometimes it take a couple of tries to get it right, so there's no need for pressure of commitment." Joe adds, sharing a knowing look with Taylor. The two of them are so in love, it basically radiates off of them.
Giggling at their love sick affection, I wipe the rest of my tears away. "How about we get some food in our bellies?" Joe suggests clapping his hands and rubbing them together, before standing up. "Ok yeah, I'm kinda hungry." I admit, following them into their dining room, where the table has been beautifully set. The food smells amazing, making my mouth water. "This looks amazing as always." I compliment sitting down, ready to dive into the food. "Thank you, (y/n)!" Joe says, as he starts cutting up the turkey he cooked, placing in on each of our plates. "So any new songs?" I ask, eating some of the food, watching Taylor nod excitedly. "Yes, oh my god, I have a new one, but it's not done, I'll play it for you. I've really been loving this new concept, sleepless nights, you know, words just come to me so easily." She says, making me chuckle.
"Mmh don't I know it, I haven't been sleeping in a week, writing songs at 3 am has become a bad habit." I know for sure the dark circles under my eyes tell exactly that. Before this whole debacle with Austin and Joshua, the Met kept me up and now I'm back into that vicious cycle of sleeping 3 to 4 hours a night. "How many more songs do you need till the album is done?" Joe chimes in, directing the question my way. "I'd like to have like 15 songs? And well right now I have 12? Yeah, around that."
"Any features?" Taylor asks and I answer by shaking my head. "Not yet, but I've been writing this song "Past life" and I feel like a male feature would sound amazing on it, but we'll see" I say shrugging my shoulders.
The rest of dinner flying by quite quickly, filled with funny jokes and music. Before I leave Taylor plays me her latest song which she called "Mastermind". A song talking about how strategic women have to be in relationships, to get it right.
Saying my goodbyes to them, I hug them and head down, where Matt waits for me, to drive me back. I can't get Taylor's song out of my mind, I can definitely claim this will be my favorite off of the new album she's working on. I can't wait to record the background vocals for it. My phone buzzes pulling my out of my train of thought. Looking at it I smile at the name popping up on my screen and answer without a second thought.
"How was dinner?" Austin asks smiling brightly at me. "It was great, Joe cooked some great turkey, it was delicious." I say and make Austin laugh, showing him the doggy bag they gave me for home. "They even gave me extra" I say just in case me showing him the bag wasn't enough, which makes him laugh more. Matt opens my door, helping me out of the car and I mouth a low "thank you", before stepping into the elevator and waving at him. "Are you just now getting home?" Austin asks me. "Yeah" I sigh, sitting down on the elevator floor, my legs tired from all the standing and walking I did today. "Did you just sit on the elevator floor?" Austin questions, smiling from ear to ear and scrunching up his nose, making me mirror him. His happy energy rubbing off on me. "Maybe" I say biting my lip to stop myself from laughing.
Austin rolls around in his bed, rubbing his face into the pillows. "Ugh I had like a thousand interviews today, all the same fucking questions." I giggle at his frustration and get up walking into my apartment, heading straight for the kitchen, after I take off my shoes. "Been there done that, but I tell you it gets better once you get to do talk shows, especially if you do Fallon, Jimmy is the funniest ever." I say, as I put food for Simba and William, the two coming quickly to eat. "Yeah, I guess, it's still a bit too much." He says dragging a hand over his face, then he focuses his eyes back on the screen. "You look very pretty tonight by the way." Austin states making me blush, so I hide my face behind my hands. "Hey none of that, come on show me your beautiful eyes." Austin demands
I remove my hands from my face, blushing terribly as my breath is coming in short gasps. I hear my heart beating in my ears, feeling dizzy. He has to stop saying things like this, talking like this. I swallow thickly as he looks at me, deep blue eyes burning holes through me, making me feel like a small gem being watched through a glass window. His stare is so strong and soft at the same time. Austin licks his lips, biting them, making me wish I could feel how soft they were. "What are we doing?" I whisper, not expecting my thought to come out loud, surprising both me and him.
Austin's eyes are still locked on me, as he sits up on his bed, scratching his chest. His naked chest, he doesn't have a shirt on. "Talking?" He questions faking not knowing what I meant. He's either avoiding it as to not embarrass me or because just like me, he doesn't understand what this is. This delicate beginning rush, we feel when we talk to each other, when we see one another. "Why?" I ask, pushing further, even when every fiber in me, screams to stop, to let it go, to enjoy the rush of the moment. "I like talking to you" he says, blushing.
Blushing?! He's blushing? My heart picks up faster, feeling like it's about to fly out of my chest. I try to breathe deep and I clench my fists around the velvet fabric of my dress, making an effort to stop my body from trembling. "It's late, you should get to sleep, night my darling!" Austin says and I'm left with my mouth agape, not getting a chance to answer before he ends the call.
"My darling" he called me that again. I can understand one time being a little mistake, but a second time? He's toying with me, he must be. And I wish I could say that all the things people around me have been saying didn't get to me, but they did. Everything I've been hearing ever since meeting Austin, is to be cautious and smart, to not let myself fall, but I'm afraid I already fell. And now I feel this fear building inside me, fear of getting hurt. I'm not stupid, I understand how he's too old and I'm too young, but the fact that so far this and his fake girlfriend, have been the only reasons keeping me from crushing on him, tells how little I know him.
Stepping into the bathroom, undressing, I turn on the shower, looking at myself in the mirror. You can read, the amount of sleep I've been losing, on my face. Closing my eyes I see flashes of him, his smile and his eyes, I even hear his laugh ringing in my ears. I'm going crazy.
Breathing in, I let the boiling water soak me from head to toe, wishing for it to relax my petrified muscles, but to no avail, I'm too tense. Giving up on trying to relax, I get out, drying myself quickly and putting on pajamas, going straight to the piano. I'm tired but I don't feel sleep crawling up on me, so the best thing to do is sit down at the piano and play until hopefully I can sleep.
Thinking back to Taylor's song, I play it over and over again, until it's 3:15 am and I'm still at the piano, pushing the keys with my now, numb fingers. Picking up my phone I open the camera and rest it on the piano, to film myself. I look like a mess, with hooded eyes and tangled damp hair. "Hi Taylor, um I've been thinking, since I left, I loved the song and the concept of it, you know. Um and I just was thinking, there's a starting point to everything, so why is this girl in our narrative so strategic? Something happened right? In the past." I put some of my hair behind my ears, playing the piano softly. "So I asked myself, what started my overthinking and over analyzing? So I kinda wrote a verse?" I wince a bit at myself, this is the second time I highjack one of her songs. "So here it goes, I'm sorry in advance"
I keep playing and then start singing.
"No one wanted to play with me as a little kid
So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since
To make them love me and make it seem effortless
This is the first time I've felt the need to confess
And I swear
I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian
'Cause I care
So I told you none of it was accidental
And the first night that you saw me
Nothing was gonna stop me
I laid the groundwork, and then
Saw a wide smirk on your face
You knew the entire time
You knew that I'm a mastermind
And now you're mine
Yeah, all you did was smile
'Cause I'm a mastermind"
I finish playing and take the phone in hand, bringing the camera close to my face, giving the worst possible angle of myself. "Ok that's it, anyway, tell me what you think, sorry for bothering you and for pushing myself on this, you don't have to like it or add it or anything. Um anyway it's like 3:30 am so I should sleep, talk soon" I end the video and send it to her, knowing she's see it in the morning.
After that I run up to my room and jump on my fluffy bed, praying to get some sleep, before my 8 am alarm starts ringing. As my body sinks into the soft bed, my thoughts go blank for the first time in so long and I find sleep takes over me, dreamless resting sleep. Rare, but so sweet.
When my phone rings at 8 am I'm too tired to wake up just yet, so I shoot a quick text to Levis telling him that I'm sleeping in today. I put my phone on silent and get back to sleep, but it's not the same dreamless sleep as before.
I'm in my living room and it's dark, soft music playing in the background, music I quickly recognize as being my song - Dandelions. Everything is a bit blurry and in slow motion. Then out of the dark a figure makes it's way over to me. The musky, citrusy smell lighting my senses on fire as Austin circles his arms around me, pulling me to his chest. "You wished on a dandelion for me, well here I am darling. My darling." His lips brush my cheek, his hot breath fanning over my skin, raising goosebumps everywhere. I tremble in his embrace and try to move my head to get a good look at him, but my eyes can't focus, it's weird and I feel the anxiety creeping up on me as I try to see him, but everything is hazy. "Austin" I say, but it's like my voice is coming from under water, muffled and weak. "My darling" it's all he says, tightening his arms around my waist, making my knees go weak as I melt into him. "My Austin" I say giving in. "My darling" he repeats, like it's the only thing he knows.
Suddenly I'm woken up by something jumping up on my chest. Sitting up quickly, I cause William to fall rolling on the bed. I grab the kitty and bring him close to my chest, whispering little apologies. I try to come back to the real world, but I can still feel Austin's breath on my skin. I need to find a way to shake him off, this is getting out of hand. Taking my phone from the night stand, I ignore all notifications and open the message app, texting Joshua.
Me:
Want 2 come over 4 dinner? @ my place?
🎶Joshua🎶:
Yeah, text me the address. What time should I be there?
As a regular reader of your fan fiction i wish that writers would stop building anticipation for releasing a new chapter only to disappoint us the day before the release. Over time it starts to chip away at the interest i have in reading the story
I really want to take this with a kind heart, most of you guys are amazing and always supportive. I can’t force you to read my stories or like them, all that I ask of you is if you have nothing nice to say, just don’t say anything at all.
I am a full time college student, on my way to becoming a doctor, this semester I have classes from 8am till 8pm, 3 days of the week. It may not be exam season, but at my university we have tests all the time. I study hard and I find peace and calm in writing fictional stories.
Forgive me, because I couldn’t write a new chapter, I’m trying to keep you all entertained with small teasers and such. I am going to be honest, if I tried, I could probably write a new chapter, but I know I won’t be happy doing it and I wouldn’t be happy with the end result. I want to give you guys well written stories (well as best as I, a European who speaks English as a second language, can).
I’m just sad, I didn’t want to ghost you all, I told you I will not be posting a new chapter for the next two weeks, if that makes you loose interest in reading, then it’s fine by me. I’m a fanfic reader as well and the writers I follow have taken breaks for long periods of time, which did frustrate me, but I sat patiently waiting for their new work.
Anyway, I just couldn’t ignore this so I had to respond, if my response upsets you, please ignore it or unfollow or idk do what you want.
