#draddy

1-17-19

zack addy x reader

fandom: Bones

requested: no

word count: 422

warnings: none

summary:

Zack had a crush on you the moment he saw you, thus creating an automatic tension between you two. You thought he hated you, due to lack of conversation and simple courtesies, such as eye contact. You planned to confront him about it.

...

"Zack!" you call as you enter the bone room. "I need to speak with you."

"Did you find something?" he asks, not even looking up from the femur he's examining.

"It's not about the case." you lean against the examination table with a sigh.

"Then it isn't relevant." he sets the leg bone down and reaches for another. You grab his hand to stop him and he pulls back automatically, almost like you shocked him.

"It is. It's about us." you say, stuffing your hands in your pockets, embarrassed about his disgust in you touching him.

He furrows his brow before asking, "What do you mean us? We don't have a relationship outside of being colleagues."

"Exactly." you look down. "I don't want it to be that way, Zack. I want to be friends," you look back up at him. "and more importantly, I just want to know why you hate me so much."

His eyebrows raise in surprise and he momentarily sputters for a response. "Hate you? I don't hate you." he makes eye contact for the first time in... you don't even know if he's looked you in the eyes before.

"Then why do you act like it?"

"I-" he looks away for a second l, trying to conjure up his words. "I have affection toward you." he can't bring himself to meet your eyes again.

This time it was your turn to raise your brows. "What?"

"That's why I try to avoid you. I want to keep a professional relationship. I don't think I would be able to control myself if we become friends. I would only want to become more." he continues to look at his hands that rest on the table.

You move around the corner of the table, closer to him, before saying, "Why didn't you tell me? What would be the big deal if... we did start a romantic relationship?" he looks at you again, hope in his eyes.

"I don't want the quality of our work to be tainted by having a significant other around."

"What about Hodgins and Angela? Do you think their work is compromised?" you couldn't like that you liked him too... and the pressure of pushing those feelings down has released all at once at the knowledge that he likes you back.

"Well, no, but-"

Ever since I left the city, you've established an identity of your own while I went out and did things to advance my life. Everybody recognizes you are your own person with your own life goals and I'm no longer a part of what makes you special. I'm so stressed because ever since I left you alone in the city, you've started to recognize how mesmerizing your body can be and you get your own bottles while you enjoy bustin some moves on the dance floor. You hangin with some girls that are your friends that I've never seen before because I've been gone away from the city and they want to hang around you because you're you but I don't know them cause I been away so I'm confused.

Ever since I left the city, you and me just don't get along because you're your own person since I wasn't there to see your growth and changes. You make me feel like I did you wrong and even though I was wrong for just leaving you, I just don't like to feel that way, you know? You're going places where I feel you don't belong, but somehow getting exactly what you asked for?? You're running out of pages in your passport which means you're travelling the world without me while hanging with those friends I never met because I left you in the city.

These days, all I do is wonder if you are in a consensual relationship with someone who is still here in the city where I left you. I wonder if you all are partaking in herbs and having intimate life discussions taking turns rolling each other blunts. Doing things with other consenting partners that you and your body enjoy. You don't need nobody else because I left town and you've found out you really don't need nobody else after I left you alone and now you're independent? You used to stay at home and be someone I saw fitting into the patriarchal expectations of women to be infantilized good "girls" which is some bizarre father/daughter husband/wife dynamic left over from women being considered adult children & property. You should just be yourself, meaning the you I remember you as when I left you in this city by yourself even though I'm not here anymore, you should always remain that person. Right now, it seems as if you are someone else, like maybe you are your actual self and I'm not used to that.

You used to call me on my cell phone Late night when you needed my love. And now you don't need me and I don't know how to feel.