helo i was wonderin if u were ok tellin me when u knew u were agender or started questioning ur gender bc my mum doesnt believe i am a boy bc i apparently didnt show signs when i was v young?? sorry if this is too invasive thank u v much!!
ya ofc
i guess i have always felt very distant from gender since i was a kid, i mostly used to play with the boys at my school and loved football and i cried a lot/felt very upset about being a "girl". i remember before going to high school we were forced to buy a leotard and i cried all the way home because i didn't want to wear it or do any of the girl sports that we were forced to do.
i liked conventionally "girly" things also but always felt very constricted by what people allowed me to like or thought it was appropriate that i should like.
i was always really upset by being a girl and told my mum a lot that i wanted to be a boy, i guess she thought it was a phase thought because at high school i kind of just decided to adhere to Being A Girl because it was easier and i was scared and didn't really know there was anything else i could be?
so i mean. in a sense i have always been agender. i think i always knew deep down that i'm not a girl, but i didn't find a word for it until about three or four years ago on tumblr, and as soon as i saw the word i just kind of attached myself to it and refused to let go.
but. gender and society are very weird. just because you didn't show any signs of being a boy as a child doesn't mean that you're not now, or that you weren't then, or that you were ever anything else. i don't think you or i had much concept of gender when we were really young, so it's extremely unfair for any parent to except that from you at a young age.
for some people gender can fluctuate and for some it's the same their whole life. i don't know anything about your personal Gender Quest, but even if you didn't know for a long time that you're a boy, it doesn't make it any less valid. your mum probably has it in her head that if you're a boy you needed to like "boy" things as a kid which is just. Wrong. you don't need to know you're a boy your whole life in order to be a boy.
i feel like i rambled a lot i'm sorry but uh. to summarise:
felt the same my whole life, found a word for it about four years ago, your mum is incorrect and i hope you manage to get through to her about it! it might just take time :-(
good luck, and feel free to talk to me more about it, i'll try and help as best i can but i'm not exactly out to my family or to anyone except close friends and the internet
