#dougzer

this clip’s kinda long cuz I think the whole thing is funny and the shipping part is at the end

or, alternatively:

“Do you think I should marry Dan?”

Parkzer looked up in confusion.

Doug must've recently stopped streaming, based on how quiet it suddenly was, but usually he took some time to himself. It was unusual of him to barge into his room mere minutes later. Without knocking first, too, though that wasn’t too out of the ordinary for him.

“Why would you marry Dan?”

Doug shrugged. “We both think it'd be funny to get married and divorced.”

He leaned in the doorway, grinning, and Parkzer appraised him before looking back at the screen and finishing writing the sentence he started before Doug had so suddenly interrupted him. In the back of his mind, a little movie played about Doug and Dan in suits, in front of an altar or an officiant. It stopped after they kissed.

“I think it would be a terrible idea.” 

“Whaaat? Why?” Doug sounded like a child whose toy you've taken away, pleading to let them play a little longer. Or in his case, to let him get married.

“I'm not familiar with marriage and divorce laws,” he began, feeling strangely nervous, “but getting a divorce is a complicated process.” He continued rattling off what knowledge he had of this topic. He was aware Doug stopped paying attention after just a few sentences, based on how he started walking through his room and examining it, but it was important to him to make it clear why he should not get married to Dan.

Eventually, Doug let himself fall onto his bed, on his back. Parkzer wanted to scold him, to not treat this room like it belonged to him, but… it literally did. Plus, he didn’t really mind, so why bother?

“Can't you find like some sort of loophole? I think it'd be hilarious if Dan and I could be divorced.” 

“No,” Parkzer immediately responded. He wasn't particularly fond of encouraging Doug to get married to Dan.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Doug roll on his belly, his face propped on his hands, his gaze locked on Parkzer. It made him unreasonably nervous.

“Do you think we should get married?” 

“I told you, I don't think your plan is-” 

“No,” Doug interrupted him. “You and me.” 

Parkzer’s head jerked to the side. “We're not even dating.”

He was aware this wasn't a no; he just hoped Doug didn't pick up on that too.