Aug 16, 2011
on a "team building" excursion to the neighborhood dairy queen today Douche Elf 2 and I ended up singing/yelling this song for Mme Pique de Glace. She'd never heard it before!
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on a "team building" excursion to the neighborhood dairy queen today Douche Elf 2 and I ended up singing/yelling this song for Mme Pique de Glace. She'd never heard it before!
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Douche Elf 2 promised that he'd buy more coffee for our department
but he forgot.
so today there was no coffee.
I had the worst headache by the time I got home today.
I've had 6 cups since then. Whee~~ life is brilliant. and a bit shaky.
Other Coworker/ Mme Pique de Glace
Other Coworker is now known as Mme Pique de Glace (Mme Icicle) to Douche Elf 2 and I. Why? She's been very, very cold lately. We've had a few disagreements, but she has no real reason to be so cold.
Not to say that Douche Elf 2 and I are disappointed by this turn of events. He and I have been a bit blown away lately by just how uncultured she can be for a 30-year-old.
To be fair, I can be a bit of a snob and Douche Elf 2 is even worse. But still.
Cases in point:
Earlier this week, she asked me what "ominous" means. I was flabbergasted. Who doesn't know what "ominous" means?! English is her first language! She's in post-secondary!
Then the other day we were all talking about how popular short stories are in english classes. I was saying how even though I wasn't necessarily a fan of short stories outside of class, I like reading them for classes because they have so much more potential for analysis per word than a novel and take way less time to read. Efficiency and profundity! Together! At last!
What is Mme Pique de Glace's imput to this discussion?
"I don't really like short stories, or even novels for that matter. I have a really hard time reading between the lines and I don't like it. I prefer non-fiction because you don't have to analyze it."
*long awkward pause as Douche Elf 2 and I try not to laugh and/or cry*
I'm not kidding.
Then in our manicure hour yesterday, the topic of visual art came up. I mentioned how I didn't really understand a lot of visual art so I prefer it when artists are responding to a context or historical event that I can relate to their work so I can understand it better.
Mme Pique de Glace's opinion on art?
"I think art should just be pretty. I don't like it when it is disturbing or too exciting. I think art should be relaxing and look nice."
Here is a person who lives her life as shallowly as humanly possible.
People like Mme Pique de Glace are why I sometimes feel justified in my snobbery.
English phrase of the week.
Having nearly exhausted my stock of phrases involving "fuck" last week, this week I've been teaching Douche Elf2 all of the nuances of the phrase "shits and giggles".
He should be paying me for all the useful things I've taught him.
I taught Douche Elf 2 the word "clusterfuck" yesterday.
Today he used it properly in a sentence...
...in front of our supervisor.
Never teaching him English words again.
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The computers are not slow. They are fixed that way so that they match the pace of public workers!
Douche Elf 2's words of wisdom as I prepared to beat my computer to electrical pulp at work today.
I don't do early mornings.
Douche Elf 2 and Other Coworker decided today that they are both going to shift their work days half an hour earlier, meaning that they will now start the day at 8AM.
For the first time since starting this job, I put my foot down about something. I do not do mornings. I will not be arriving at 8AM.
So there.
Everyone in my office (now including the rest of my team!) leaves no later than 4PM so the last half hour of my day will now be spent completely alone in my department. I anticipate a lot of early departures and a bit of on-the-job texting mixed with basking under my air con vent. Oh and writing reports. That will happen too.
You have a better chance of seeing the next return of Jesus than getting paid on a different day than on the schedule when you work for the federal government.
douche elf 2 (who else?)
i had a bad day at work and was whining that i wanted my pay today instead of tomorrow. i deserved this weird reprimand.