#dorxus

Vax’s grin turned into a grimace, but it didn’t last long. It quickly returned, as bright as ever, and Dorian wondered where he kept all that energy, especially after such a long day spent trying to convince a young child not to fuss about food.

“Come on, dear! Hear me out for a sec!”

“Only if you promise to be quiet about it. It took me two hours to convince Felix to go to sleep.”

“And you did an amazing job about it.” Vax pressed a quick peck on his unshaved face. Dorian appreciated the gesture, but he didn’t dare look in a mirror, not yet. He absolutely needed a bath, first. 

“I just thought Felix could use the company of someone his age. A little brother or sister to play and grow up with.” Now the light in Vax’s smile traveled all the way up to his eyes and Dorian had to struggle between the desire to smooch him and the urge to cry.

He didn’t have the strength nor the willpower to face another siege like the one to which he had been subjected today. Dear, sweetest little Felix crying over food, refusing to wear the clothes his Papa had so adoringly bought for him, playing and running like a tornado all around the mansion until night…

Dorian loved his son more than anything else in the world, but two children under the same roof? Two little rascals pulling his mustache, hiding behind the curtains, and smearing chocolate and jam all over the furniture, all while he had to have an eye on them and take care of missives from the magisterium and various threats from different factions? He was not so strong. He would rather face ten Pride demons all at the same time than that.

“Vaxus.” he started, his voice firm while his whole frame shook with sleepiness, exhaustion, and a little bit of betrayal. “Love of my life. At this point, I’m pretty sure you are out of your mind.”

Vax’s sweet eyes widened in surprise, then the tiniest of pouts appeared on his face. 

Oh, no! Dorian thought, readying himself. I won’t let you win this one, mister!

“But…”

“Should I remind you that we are new at this? We never cared for a child before. Most of the time, we have to ask for help or read guides to know what to do.” He sniffed, outraged. “Me, amatus! Reading tips about changing diapers! I can’t recognize myself anymore!”

“But that’s a wonderful thing to do!”

“I know!” Dorian jumped, turning to Felix’s crib. He was still sleeping, as peaceful as a nug, and he let out a relieved sigh before turning to his husband with a frown.

“I know. But I want him to have a good, easy life, amatus, and that’s already hard enough with everything happening in Thedas. He doesn’t need us to make things harder for him.”

Vax frowned, too, but out of confusion instead.

“I believe we would actually make them easier for him. I had a wonderful life with my sister Val and…”

“Because your parents were good parents. Because the world wasn’t as insane as it is right now.” Dorian sighed and touched Felix’s little clenched fist with a finger. “We need to think about what he actually needs. He doesn’t need more complications - and there would surely be more if we tried to bite more than we can chew.”

Vax was quiet for a while. Another dangerous sign, Dorian thought with a sleepy smile. It meant his husband was thinking hard about something.

“Dorian.” His strong, calloused hand touched his shoulder. “Do you fear we won’t be good parents?”

He hesitated for a second, then sighed. 

“You won’t be like your father.” Vax’s voice was softer, now, a whisper carried in the air. “You never will be like him. I can already tell, love.”

Dorian’s eyes glistened with tears for a moment, then he forced them back, not wanting to worry his beloved. He smiled at him, grateful, and Vax smiled back before looking at their son.

“You’re right, two kids might be too much right now. First, let’s learn how to be the very best for our little Felix here.”

“Yes. But…” Dorian gave him an amused, coy smile. “I am not completely against the idea, I hope you know that. I’m all for adopting a bunch of orphans and fill our home with their maddening cries, once we are ready for it.” He rolled his eyes, remembering the Qunari and the Fen’Harel cultists still going around which they needed to take care of. “And once the world decides to be less dangerous and ask for less of our time and blood.”

“Good.” Vax’s smile was blinding and bright again. “It’s a deal, then.”

Dorian snorted, shaking his head with fondness. His hand found his husband’s and he squeezed it tightly. 

Vaxus sighed gustily and reached up, stretching his arms high above his head, groaning pleasantly at the way the muscles in his stomach and shoulders eased slightly with the movement. People could call it what they wanted, but lifeguard work was hard. Running along the sand every day, throwing yourself into the surf, swimming out to people who were in trouble… it took its toll. Sure, Vax was fit, but even he could use a break sometimes. Even he got sore from long days spent out beneath a burning sun.

Yet, despite it all, he smiled.

As he lowered his arms, Vax opened his eyes and cast his gaze out across the sea of swimmers, aware of the expression on his face even though he hadn’t consciously decided to wear it. In a way, he couldn’t help it. Smiling was just… who he was. It felt right, even when his body ached and he couldn’t stop sweating from the heat of the day. Even when he literally had sand in his…

Something caught his eye. Gaze locked on the water, he fumbled around his neck for his binoculars and raised them with an unsteady hand, heart beating oddly fast in his chest. It was…

… it was him.

Vax’s smile deepened as he watched the swimming man through the binoculars, enjoying the way his arms pulled him so effortlessly through the water. A part of Vax – admittedly a large part – wanted nothing more than to know his name. To know him. Even though Vax saw him on the beach fairly often lately, they’d never actually had the chance to speak. It was, of course, partly Vax’s fault. Sometimes he just couldn’t get away from duty long enough to even consider starting a conversation. There just… wouldn’t be enough time to do it justice. But other times, well, his nerves got the better of him. Vax built up the courage to wink once, but it was possible the man had missed it as he ran past on his patrol.

But he’s always with someone, Vax thought solemnly, managing to tear his gaze from the swimming man just long enough to quickly scan the beach. Sure enough, his usual companion was there, a shirt draped over his shoulder, standing in the shade of the one of the many beach umbrellas that dotted the sand. I wonder if they’re together. Maybe I should ask. Or maybe I…

From the water, someone cried out. It was a woman’s voice, shrill and panicked. Wheeling around, Vax felt a familiar surge of adrenaline as he frantically threw his gaze out across the water, hunting for the anomaly. Searching for the…

A woman was waving, her eyes wide with panic. For a second, Vax was certain she needed his help. However, once she noticed she had his attention, she turned and started frantically pointing out towards the deeper water.

Pointing at where he had once been.

Eyes going wide, Vax reached out and grabbed his radio, calling in the rescue, telling the others to cover his watch. He did not even wait for a reply.

Board under his arm, he took off at a sprint towards the crashing surf.

… sixteen… seventeen… eighteen… nineteen… twenty…

Dorian would have sighed, but unfortunately he was underwater and such a thing would prove rather detrimental to his health. Well, moreso than the fact that he was, indeed, underwater.

How long does the average lifeguard take to reach a drowning swimmer? He wondered absently, allowing his thoughts to help him pass the time beneath the rolling waves, that heavy silence pressing in on all sides. Then again, given his previous endeavours, I doubt it would be fair to refer to him as average by any means…

Lungs starting to burn, Dorian made the executive decision to breach the surface in an artful mass of flailing limbs and take a breath. He kicked up towards where the sun filtered down through the water and delivered what he believed was a marvellous performance, gulping in a lungful of air, his arms splashing water about with just the right amount of gusto. I should consider a career in this, he mused, blinking rapidly, trying to clear the water from his stinging eyes. Apparently I’m quite the capable actor.

Kicking, Dorian stayed up for a little longer, managing to finally chase away the last of the water from his eyes and look out towards the shore.

The rather distant shore.

Well… that was going to be a problem.

With a slight spike of panic, Dorian decided that submerging himself again would not be wise, and instead cast his mind back through years and years of books and articles. Swim horizontal to the shore, his mind recited as his body moved to comply. Once you are free of the current, begin swimming in.

Well, that would be much easier if he was a strong swimmer. As it was, he was average at best. Regardless, he started following his own advice, but was all too aware of the pull of the water, the undulating of the waves, the sting of the salt in his mouth and eyes. It dawned on him that his strategic drowning plan might require an amended title. There was nothing overly strategic about any of this.

“Hey! Are you all right?”

Dorian baulked and turned in the water just in time to see a figure approaching on a board, paddling with strong, muscular arms towards him. Never mind, Dorian thought hastily, reaching up to wave a hand at the approaching lifeguard, whose face was the picture of honest concern. This is going just fine after all. I remain, rightfully, a genius.

At least, that was what he intended to tell himself for just a little longer as his hairy-chested saviour approached like the divine descended, majestic as he rode upon the tops of the waves.

“Been better, I’d like to think,” Dorian replied, and was surprised by how breathless he was. The very same flash of realisation also pointed out the fact that his arms and legs were burning from fighting the current. “I ah... don’t suppose you’re here to lend a hand, are you?”

To Dorian’s surprise, the lifeguard laughed and grinned, clearly sensing the situation was not as dire as it had initially appeared. “Of course,” he said, paddling closer, lining the board up beside Dorian before slipping off into the water. “Here, hold on to this. I’ll get us back, don’t worry. Just rest.”

Gratefully, Dorian wrapped his arms over the board and sighed, leaning against it heavily. Not the most elegant of manoeuvres, but he was, frankly, exhausted. “Me? Worry? With a dashing lifeguard like you at my side? That seems hardly necessary.”

Again, the man laughed, his body beside the board, expertly guiding them towards land. “You’d be surprised how much people can panic out here. But you’re in good hands. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve done this.”

Dorian felt his mouth curve into a dreamy smile as he watched his saviour, who's piercing blue eyes were intent on the shore. Occasionally, he pushed the board, angling it slightly in a different direction. How he knew to do that was beyond Dorian, but he simply enjoyed it for what it was. Finally, some time alone. It occurred to him that he should at least try to make something of it.

“Dorian Pavus,” he said suddenly, drawing the man’s attention. “My name, that is.”

Breathing a little harder than before, the lifeguard grinned. He had such a dazzling smile…

“Vaxus Trevelyan, but my friends just call me Vax.”

“A good name, that,” Dorian noted, eyeing him approvingly. “I’d rather like to say it again some time. Perhaps when I ask you to dinner once we reach solid land?”

Vaxus’ otherwise consistent kicking suddenly faltered, his eyes going wide for a few brief moments as he turned and stared, clearly taken aback. For a second, Dorian felt a familiar sinking feeling in his stomach. Too forward, I suppose. Kaffas…

“I… I mean, that uh…” Vax stammered, but Dorian raised a hand, releasing a gentle breath.

“Ah, forget I mentioned it. Half-drowned and what-have-you, remember? It appears I neglected to consult my brain before engaging my mouth.”

They continued on in silence for a moment, the water washing around them, the sounds of the swimmers and beachgoers steadily growing louder as they made their way in. Well, there you have it, Dorian thought bitterly. A fair plan, if you weren’t such a hasty fool about it. You always have to push things, don’t you…

“Ah… Dorian?”

“Yes?”

Vaxus slowed their speed down to a gentle paddle, drawing himself closer to the board, relying on it more for support as he began to tire. Panting, he glanced over and met Dorian’s gaze. “If you were to ask me out to dinner… I’d say yes.”

Dorian raised his brows in surprise. “I… you would?”

Vaxus nodded, that grin once again spreading across his handsome face, hair wet and plastered to his head. “Sure! I mean, if you didn’t, I’d just have to ask you anyway.”

Rendered momentarily speechless, all Dorian could think to do was laugh. But it was a bright, genuine laugh, carrying with it a certain measure of relief. What a fascinating man he is, Dorian mused, now recovered enough to help Vax swim them both back to shore. Certainly, this didn’t go entirely to plan… but it also did not go poorly.

As they finally got close enough to touch the tips of their toes to the sand, Dorian paused, his sudden hesitation drawing his new friend’s attention. Their eyes met, and Dorian caught a piece of Vax’s smile and shone it back.

“So… this is close enough to shore, yes?” Dorian cleared his throat exaggeratedly. “Dinner tonight, Vax?”

Vaxus laughed at that, reaching up to sweep the stray strands of hair off his face. His voice was nothing but warm as he replied.