#dorkwin

**

They grew closer, more intimate, although Levi would always try to keep a touch of emotional distance between them.  Erwin had known a cat like that once, who nuzzled him, ate out of his hand, and then scratched him to ribbons when she’d had enough.  

Levi was like that, in some ways.  He’d come prowling in the night, nip and scratch Erwin til they were both nude, fuck him like an alleycat, and then hiss and protest whenever Erwin tried to snuggle up to him after.  

“Erwin!”  He’d spit.  “Fuck off with this gay cuddly bullshit!  Let me go to!”  

And Erwin would laugh because he’d literally just finished a rather gay encounter indeed, and hook an arm around his waist.  “Please stay?  You’re so warm.”

And Levi would watch him with careful eyes, consider his options, and give in.  “Fine.  Only cause if your dumb ass freezes to death it’s gonna be hell to reorganize the expedition next week.”

**

Erwin never wondered if Levi cared, though.  There were little things he did, sweet little gestures that proved that his recalcitrance ran only skin deep.  He’d make Erwin tea (although only if he was making himself tea, obviously he wasn’t gonna go out of his way to make fucking Erwin tea), he helped keep Erwin’s office tidy (cause Erwin was a fucking slob and it was disgusting to work in an office with fucking dust everywhere), and he always made sure the Commander was getting enough to eat (cause if he starved to death some even bigger dumbass was gonna take over and then humanity was screwed).

Erwin caught Levi watching him while he slept sometimes, his expression careful and neutral but unguarded and trusting.  He doubted Levi ever let anyone else see that face.  Hell, he doubted Levi let anyone sleep in the same room as him.  

**

It was difficult for Levi after he injured his ankle.   He wasn’t used to being left behind on missions, he didn’t like to sit around doing nothing.  Erwin wondered if Levi only saw his own worth in his utility.  If he couldn’t move, if he couldn’t fight, perhaps Levi felt Erwin didn’t need him anymore.  

Erwin could see Levi pushing himself to be useful, even if he wasn’t able to join them on the charge to get Eren back from the jaws of peril once again.

“I’ll be back soon.”  Erwin promised, and Levi glared at him.

“Don’t do anything fucking stupid.”  He said with narrowed eyes, his arms crossed over his chest.  

Erwin smiled and nodded.  He wasn’t about to make any promises.  

**

Levi had been there the moment Erwin had woken up, actually, and his wide eyed expression of disbelief would be one that Erwin would always keep close to his heart.  Levi had grabbed his hand, kissed it, called him an idiot, pushed Erwin’s hair out of his eyes, and told him he looked like shit.  It was one of the sweetest things he could ever remember Levi doing.

In a rare moment of alone time, Erwin was browsing through the visitor records that the hospital had kept during his recovery.  It didn’t surprise him to see that Levi had visited him more than anyone else while he’d been unconscious, at least once a day, for at least an hour, and rarely when anyone else was in attendance.  He glanced at the blood soaked gauze at the end of his stump and sighed.  Well, it must have been a very difficult time for Levi.  Apparently it had been a bit touch and go, the doctors weren’t certain that Erwin was going to survive losing that much blood.

Levi came in without knocking and policed the relief off of his face.  “You’re supposed to be resting.”  He snapped, snatching the visitor record out of Erwin’s hand.  
“I don’t think either of us are very good at resting.”  Erwin pointed out.  “If I lay about too much longer my muscles are going to atrophy.”  He wasn’t connected to any drips now, the hospital primarily wanted to monitor him for signs of infection or complications of anemia.  “I want to stretch my legs.  Come with me?”  

Levi rolled his eyes.  “Must be nice, being so doped up on pain meds you think we’ve got time for a stroll.”  

Erwin ignored that.  He needed to get back on his feet, he needed to lead.  Of course they didn’t have time for frivolity but… step one was standing on his own two feet.  He sat up, and attempted very valiantly to get himself out of bed.  Still, he was weak, and he stumbled forward a bit as he tried to get up.

“Erwin for fuck’s sake!”  Levi was there in an instant, providing a shoulder to lean on.  “Shit, fine!  I’ll go with you for a walk!  Stop fucking pushing yourself!”

He leaned on Levi then, annoyed at the dizziness and pain that accompanied such a small amount of movement.  His whole balance was thrown off by his missing arm, and he realized then that his 3DMG days were probably behind him.  Levi said nothing, and kept his attention focused ahead of them as he walked them to a secluded balcony that presumably people used for smoking.  

The fresh air was lovely, and Erwin stared out into the distance.  His mind was storming away— the government was part of the problem, they’d never succeed unless the current regime was ousted and there was still the basement…

A beautiful voice carried in the wind, a young woman was singing from one of the hospital rooms.  Another patient, maybe?  A guest?  She was singing an old song in a lost tongue, and Erwin found himself enchanted by her melody.  

He shook himself out of his thoughts and turned to Levi, offering his hand.  “Care to dance?”

Levi looked offended.  “Are you insane?  Why?”

Erwin shrugged, and the movement sent a bolt of pain down his spine which he was largely able to hide from his companion.  “Because..” He tried to catch his breath.  “Because we don’t often get moments like this.  Windows of peace between my miserable gambles.  Because her voice is so lovely.  Because I want to dance with you, Levi.”

Levi cringed and crossed his arms.  Erwin could almost see his back arching, a hiss at the back of his throat threatening to emerge if the Commander dared to touch him.  

“Please?”  

“I hate you so much.”  Levi hissed, snatching Erwin’s good arm with one hand and gingerly touching his side with the other.  His eyes darted to the stump of his arm, concern and something like love etched between his eyebrows.  

“That’s it.”  Erwin complimented, tucking in his face so he could nuzzle the top of Levi’s head.  “This is nice.”  He murmured, enjoying the warmth as they swayed together.  Erwin could feel the tension easing out of Levi’s form, his hair settling down, his twitchy reluctance settling down.  

“You’re a dork.”  Levi growled, nuzzling into Erwin’s chest.

“I love you too.”  He said back, kissing the top of Levi’s head.  

Erwin put the horrors of mutiny, coups, titans, and war out of his mind for a moment.  He was able to put aside the pain in his limb, the terror of coping with a new disability, the uncertain cruel future they both faced.  In this moment he allowed himself the luxury of enjoying himself, of feeling warm and secure with someone he adored.