Apr 12
the second proper animation (I surprisingly had motivation to do something for once)
a random thing I came up with
Project: Solitaire (a DBD [Dyso, Bloom, Divided] verse) This animation is Dyso’s ultimate (doom mode)
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the second proper animation (I surprisingly had motivation to do something for once)
a random thing I came up with
Project: Solitaire (a DBD [Dyso, Bloom, Divided] verse) This animation is Dyso’s ultimate (doom mode)
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I must not take my anxiety out on other people. I must not hit the significant other with a ton of grim previsions of his future “if he keeps on like this”. I must not do this.
It’s ugly enough without involving other people. Also it’s irrational and while it feels real when it’s happening, things never turn out like that in reality.
A little bit of Doom
At a certain point in my life I decided I wouldn’t have any more existential crises or breakdown if I could help it. No more indefinitely reviewing possibilities, no more wanting to have everything figured out before I start. It didn’t came as a neat decision, but as a stratification.
At this point in my life, I haven’t had a major existential crisis in 5 years or something like that, but sometimes I feel like:
1) I’m faking it. All of those existential crisis-y INTPs seem so authentic in comparison. I daily try to be the Judger I’m not.
2) This imitation doesn’t come out very well. Everybody thinks I’m an immature wimp or a wacko anyway.
3) I’m trying a quick fix, and instead of holding on and trying to be more organized and reliable etc. I should go full-blown Ne, drop everything and live naturally, whatever that means.
4) My sense of duty will strangle everything original or explorative in me. I’ll become boring, but since I’m not really good at being boring I’ll die of starvation anyway.